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Debbi Dickinson, Life Coach and Best-Selling Author
I had a good reminder this week as to how easy it is for me to undervalue myself.
Someone gave me a compliment on a task I did and I responded with ‘Thanks; it was nothing’.
As soon as I said it, I thought there I go again!
Why Do I undermine myself? There was a time that I didn’t even listen
to the words I spoke. A friend had lovingly pointed out to me that I could never accept
a compliment. I flat out denied that observations. All she said was ‘Listen to yourself’.
So, I started listening. What I discovered was I would say Thank You
and it was always followed by a semi-colon and then a few words that downplayed my involvement.
I was amazed at my response to people’s compliments. I didn’t know that Thank
You could be spoken with a period at the end of a sentence with nothing more needed to
be said. I decided to make a conscious effort to change
my response to just a Thank You. I was surprised to find that it was difficult in the beginning
because the cutting myself down was so ingrained in me. What surprised me even further was
how I felt when I just said ‘Thank You’. The only words to describe what I felt was
a sense of unworthiness mixed with an awakening that I am indeed worthy. I was truly oblivious
to how I tore myself down by not accepting someone’s affirmations of a job well done.
But what was immediately on the heels of my self-realization was the awakening that I
indeed am worthy. I am worthy of people acknowledging my work and saying Thank You
is a gracious way of accepting their compliment. What is ironic is that I began to be intentional
about changing this behavior. I immediately swung to the opposite end of the spectrum
and say Thank You with a semi-colon and then going on and on about my involvement. That
would have eyes rolling into the back of people’s heads with the thoughts of ‘What an EGO!”
What I quickly realized is this response is also fed by a feeling of unworthiness. I
felt the need to validate my worth by verbally patting myself on the back.
I was reminded of the saying “Less is More”. The simple words ‘Thank You’ says it all.
It is sincere, it is humble and most important it is complete.
I appreciate you listening today. Thank You.