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Brother 1: How many pumpkins are you carving?
Dad: Two!
Brother 1: Two?
Dad: This is very dangerous
Dad: Don't try this
Dad: Without an adult around.
Me: You're an adult??
Brother 1: Than where's mom at???
Brother 2: Yeah, you're not an adult!
Dad: Mama's working..
Brother 2: Wait, but you're not an adult!
Brother 1: Who's the adult?
Dad: There's somebody around that's an adult!
Dad: I sorry mister pumpkin..
Dad: But your life has ENDED!
*Starts drilling pumpkin alive as it screams in agony*
Brother 3: *Laughs dementedly*
*Linus is crying in the distance somewhere*
*More demented laughter coming from brother 3*
Dad: Alright..
Dad: Now...
Dad: We are going to go
Dad: Into...
Dad: The pumpkins....
Dad: BRAINS!!!!
*Even more demented laughter coming from brother 3*
Dad: It's his BRAINS!
*Evil laughter*
Dad: Oh! :0
Dad: First, we need a spoon! :0
Dad: CAM! GO GET A SPOON OUT OF THE DRAWER! :D
Brother 2: Wait.. What? 0.0
Dad: Hurry it up! D:<
Dad: This takes a lot of skill and a lot of practice! -3-
Brother 2: No it doesn't...
Brother 2: Not for you..
Sister: You have no skill and you have no practice... -3-
Dad: YOU HUSH UP OVER THERE! 3:<
Dad: First, we must clean off the brain!
*More laughter erupts*
Brother 2: Seriously..
Dad: STEP ONE COMPLETE.
Dad: Next, we clean out the inside of his SKULL! >:3
*Fun fact! Everytime a pumpkin dies a horrifying and brutal death, a Linus loses his wings.*
Dad: I have a lot of cameras around me. :3
Sister: Because you're famous now.
Brother 1: It just stopped recording... :-:
Brother 1: And now it's recording again.. :D
Dad: Whoops....
Dad: There we go!
Dad: The skull is cleaned out! :D
Brother 1: We can put your phone in it, watch! :D
*Chuckles x3*
Dad: Now..
Sister: Now we put dads head in it! :3
Dad: We can put his little hat back on. :3
Brother 1: Look, recording!
Dad: There! Look at that! :D
Dad: Alright..
Sister: You still left the tag on.. -3-
Dad: Quiet, or you'll be part of the cutting process.. -3-
Dad: Alright now..
Dad: We must go with the standered eyes... e3e
Sister: Oh meh gersh...
Dad: Yeah, Oh gosh. :D
*Struggles to put power tool in pumpkin*
Dad: First, we do the Charlie Brown one!
*Turns on pumpkin death machine and torments it more*
Dad: Then we go across..
Dad: Like so!
*Ugh!! THE HORROR!!!*
Dad: Then we go back up to the triangle!
*Continues to torment pumpkin corpse*
Sister: Try not to cut yourself..
Dad: Then pretend it's like a real eye!
*Laughs evily as he tries to poke the poor pumpkins eye out..*
Dad: It's not being poked out..
Dad: SO, WE MUST IMPROVISE!
*Continues to torment pumpkin and laughs*
Dad: AGAIN!!!
Dad: Aaaaand it's not working.. :(
Brother 2: We have knives! - Dad: Let's try it this way!
Brother 1: You suck at this...
Dad: I know.. :___:
Brother 3: *Laughs at father*
Brother 2: Dad, we have knives..
Sister: I think you need to cut it a little more.
Dad: If we, ya know...
Dad: If you need help at home...
Dad: Feel free to call!
*Pops out pumpkins eye*
Dad: OH GEEZ!!!
*Demented laughter fills the room*
Dad: Okay...
Dad: Now..
Dad: We must go with the other standered eye!
Dad: Make sure it is even across...
*Continues torturing pumpkin*
Dad: This ones a little lop sided.
Dad: There we go! :D
Dad: There's another eyeball cut out.
Dad: And we will.. poke this guy out the easy way..
Dad: READY?
Dad: 1, 2, 3!
Dad: Oh! Ho, ho, ho, ho!!
*Laughs with sweet victory*
Dad: OH YEAH!
Dad: Here comes the nose!
Dad: I hate the boogers..
*OH DEAR GOSH!!!!!*
*MAKE IT STOP!!!*
Dad: And out comes the boogers!
Dad: ZOOM!
Brother 1: It should have been a sneeze!
Dad: AHCHOO!!!
Dad: Little late.. .___.
Dad: K! Now comes the mouth! :D
*AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!*
Dad: He's got a little happy face! :D
Dad: Ain't he cute? :3
Brother 1: No...
Dad: Need to make some teeth in him.. :p
Dad: Better hope he doesn't have cavities! >:D
X~X
Dad: Stop it! :-:
Dad: I really do know what I'm doing..
Dad: HA, HA, HA, HAH!!!
Sister: Frankie, come here! Come on Frankie! :D
Dad: One tooth.
Dad: This ones gonna have buck teeth! >:D
*More evil laughter*
Brother 1: Booooo.....
Dad: Gah!!!
*Linus screams in the distance as his pumpkin friends corpse is being carved*
Dad: Now, let me make the smile a little bit better..
Me: It doesn't even look like a smile.... ._______.
Brother 1: No, it does not... -.-
Dad: It's not supposed to look like a smile. -3-
Me: But, you said it was like uh...
Brother 1: Yeah, you said it was a smile...
Dad: It looked like one to begin with... .-.
Dad: And there!
Dad: There is his face! :D
Brother 1: It looks stupid... -3-
Dad: WHAT!!!! 3:<
Me: Uh oh.... O.O
Dad: Get your head back together, MAN!
Dad: There!
Dad: And we clean off his little boogies. :3
Brother 1: He doesn't have any eyebrows..
Dad: Oh, we can make those! Don't you worry! :3
Brother 1: He doesn't have any ears either.....
Dad: can't make ears in him! D:
Brother 1: Yeah ya can... -3-
Dad: And there's our first pumpkin! :D
Brother 1: Just put this crap back on him. :D
Dad: Alright.. Thank you all for joining me.
Dad: For making a pumpkin! :3
Brother 1: It sucks..... -3-
Dad: BITE ME!!! 3:<
Dad: Looks good, I know, thank you! >w<
Dad: TIME FOR THE NEXT ONE!!!!!
Dad: Come here, fat boy!!! :D