Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
We're on our way to Katima Mulilo
but which way do we go? Left or right?
According to the sign,
if we go either way
we'll end up in Katima Mulilo.
All roads lead to Katima Mulilo.
Excuse me, which of these roads leads to Katima Mulilo?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is no Katima Mulilo listed on this map.
Let's take a detour.
Flight for life landing area. Dead end.
No pilot would think of landing here.
Except Microsoft Sam.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
*** *** *** *** *** *** ***!
Liquor moccasins. Indian jewelry 1/2 off.
I'd love to lick her moccasins any time.
Hahahahahahahahahaah lol lol lol lol
soi soi soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Watch it, me bucko!
Bear Bottom Drive.
Just a half a mile from Horseshit Lane.
Eeeewwwww! Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
[Mary barfing]
Bernard Dehydrated Water.
Empty contents of can into one gallon of water.
Stir until dissolved. Chill and serve.
Dehydrated water? That's a laugh!
Lol lol lol lol rofl rofl rofl rofl soi soi soi soi hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Bridge out. Open to local traffic.
Ha ha ha ha ha! That's a laugh!
I'll prove that a bridge open to local traffic can't be out.
Don't, Mary! You'll fall off the---
[Mary falling]
[Splash!]
---edge.
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
Live nude dancers.
Well, duh! That's what I'd call a study in contrasts.
*** webmasters are perverts.
I'll say.
Takes one to know one.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Tantrum
coming
on
now.
No no no no no no no no no dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit!
It's not fair! It's not right! It sucks! It sucks!
Do you hear me! Sucks sucks sucks!
Sam is a sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofabitch
sonofabitch sonofabitch sonofa---
[BOOM!]
Slow. Children. No hunting.
And don't even think about it, Sam,
no matter if they're in or out of season.
[Gunshots]
Microsoft Sam, you're under arrest.
What's the charge?
Hunting children out of season.
No bicycle riding in subway tunnel.
This means you, Sam.
Tantrum in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
No no no no no no no no!
[bawling]
It's not fair it's not right I wanna ride my bicycle in the subway tunnel!
You hear me? I wanna ride in the tunnel!
In the tunnel, you hear? In the tunnel,
you *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!
[BLAM!]
Eee-yow!
Who blew up southern California?
Looks like everybody in Los Angeles farted at once.
Actually, more like a close-up of Microsoft Sam when he's farting.
That's a sick thought. Sick, sick, sick.
Eeeewwww! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!
[Sam barfing]
Speeding. What's your excuse?
Helping you *** pay for donuts.
Hahhahahahahahahaha!
Oh Sam, you're so bad!
Dear Crossing.
That's not deer, it's a pair of old people crossing the street.
Dear Crossing, stop these silly stereotypes of old people at once
or I'll whip you whippersnappers with my cane.
Signed, Theodore Q. Willoughby, aged 127 (deceased).
P.S. AAAGGHHH!
Life is short. Don't make it shorter.
[Gunshot]
Hey! Watch where you're shooting, Sam!
Sorry.
Baghdad, 89 kilometers.
This is a war zone.
War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.
Say it again.
[Bomb falling]
[BLAM!]
That'll teach them to put the knock on war.
That's not a dog, that's a lion.
Who's lion? The animal or the sign?
No parking except automobiles.
Tscha! Like I care a hill of Mercedes-Benz!
Herpi.
Herpi? What kind of stupid-*** name is Herpi?
Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Herpi! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Herpi!
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Good thing there's only one Herpi and not two Herpis.
I bet Mary would throw a tantrum
if she got it from me.
Keep cool, Mary. Don't let it get to you.
Stay
calm.
Relax.
Uh-oh!
Tantrum
coming
on
now.
Eeeeeeyoowowowowowowowowow gagagagagagagag!
Sam, you ***!
Don't you ever make stupid *** jokes around me as long as you live!
You hear me? No more *** jokes!
You *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***!
[BLAM!]
I told you so.
OMG!
Nick
invited
me
to
a collision with a telephone pole!
This is what happens when you text while driving.
Sam does that when he drives.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
You ***!
Entrance only. Do not enter.
Well, duh!
Southern Comfort. Liquid *** remover.
Liquid ***? That's gross!
I agree, Mary. Liquid *** makes me sick.
Eeewwww! Eeeeeewwwwwwwww!
[Mike barfing]
Babies and Children. Buy two, get three free!
Selling children?
The nerve!
So this is what our civilization has come to?
Selling little kids into slavery?
Money can't buy happiness,
but it can buy marshmallows which are kinda the same thing.
Ah. A campfire with smores
made from happiness, Hershey bars and graham crackers.
Leaving Brooklyn. Oy Vey!
Tscha! I didn't know the mayor was Jewish.
Next weekend: a Flatbush bris.
Warning: Private Property.
Keep out, unless you have really big ***.
Hahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
soi soi soi soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl!
Mary's got the biggest *** of any girl I know.
Come right on in.
I'm ready any time you want me.
Letch letch letch letch letch letch letch letch letch letch letch letch letch letch letch letch
letch letch letch letch!
RAWR!
It means "I love you" in dinosaur.
RAWR!
also means "Microsoft Mike is an ***" in dinosaur.
Sam, you sonofabitch! I am not an ***!
Quit your lying, Mike! Rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr!
Smoke.
Because no one should infringe upon your right to cough up black phlegm.
The average smoker coughs up enough black phlegm to cover half of Texas.
Rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr!
Pass with care.
But don't roll your car over
like Sam does when he exceeds the speed limit.
Rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr!
Speed limit 55, 65, 75...
Hmmm... I guess I'll take 75.
It gets me there faster.
Drive 55 and stay alive, Sam.
I can't drive 55.
Rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr!
[Whispering] Microsoft Sam, enough with the rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr!
Very, very absorbent.
I didn't know Mary's tampons could sop up all the water in the pool.
Get a rag in case Mary's water breaks!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
[Gunshot]
Ouch! Mary, you shot me in the arm!
That'll teach you to be a letch, Sam.
Tank xing.
Tank xing? What's a xing?
That's "Tank Crossing," Mike.
Tanks, Mary. Tanks a lot.
You're welcome, Mike.
Slow scientists crossing.
If those are slow scientists,
I wonder where the fast scientists are.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Smoke area.
Limited visibility next 80 kilometers.
Use extreme caution.
On top of Old Smokey, all covered with tar and nicotine,
I lost my poor lover to lung cancer and gangrene.
Sleeping prohibited 11 PM to 6 AM.
Duh! It's a fine place to put a "No Sleeping" sign---
in front of a cemetery.
That would waken the dead.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Zzyzx Road.
What kind of a name is Zzyzx?
Must be the last word in roads.
I agree, and we're all out of signs.
Maybe we didn't get to Katima Mulilo,
but we had a lot of fun.
We can still get there if Sam's RoflCopter is able.
Great idea, Mary.
All aboard!
We're taking the RoflCopter to Katima Mulilo.
soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi
soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi
soi soi soi soi soi soi
"davemadson's Classic Funny Signs: On Our Way to Katima Mulilo"
has been brought to you by
Acme Instant Road, the best way to bypass rush hour traffic,
and by Sylvia's Nightclubs of Las Vegas.
Sylvia's. The place to do it at.
This has been a davemadson films inc. production.