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Ahem.
Yaaarr! It was a great tale of heart-throbbingness.
Boo!
Shut up! Yaarr! I was on me boat one day, fixing meself up with some rum,
when I saw, from across the deck, one of the most beautiful wenches I've ever
layed my one eye on. The other one's glass.
I said to yonder ***, "Ahh! What be a fair woman like you be swabbing these filthy
decks?" She replied in the most soothing, and beautiful words I've ever heard,
"Nothing." So I said to ye, I said, "Well, how 'bout ye accompany me on a voyage
across the seven seas?" And she said, "Okay, I havn't really got much on." I said,
"Alright." So, we began our voyage. Through the seas, round the islands, past the
Kraken. All the while, making love on the deck wit hall her pirate friends watching.
It was the most beautiful time of my life.
BUT THEN... there came the day..
When I finished my daily doings and I ventured out on towards the deck. And what
did I see? But every single crew member ogeling her as she stripped for them while
one of them tucked dabloons into her panteloons. "YAAR!" I said, "Ye scurvy dogs!"
This be betrayal of the highest order. She's my ***, and my *** alone. How dare ye, Miranda!"
'Cause that was her name. Well, I think it was. Anyway, so I got out my sword, and
I chopped her in half, and then I chopped her in another half! And...
And then I cried, because I lost the only love I ever had to the likings of my filthy
crew and my awesome sword. And so, I fired the rest of my crew and made them jump
into the water. And - then I drank lots of beer and became an alcoholic and now,
live on the streets. My pirate ship has now been taken away by the pirate ship
agency because I couldn't pay the rent anymore. My crew decided to build a tiny group
and I'm not allowed to be a part of it, and it was a very sad time in my life.
And that is the tale of how I lost my virginity. The end.