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today's topic is about attachment
and part of the reason for that was a
Singapore group came recently and they wanted to know about attachment
so this is a topic that is on my mind
I have a line that I really like
and certain times when I am reading things
lines jump out that really kind of resonate
my favourite line of all time is
How Many Beans Make Five?
I think this is just a great line it has a great meaning
but this line was 'Man is a machine that winds its own springs'
and I really like that idea
because it sums up or captures
what the experience is when we look into the mind
our job, or my job
as a monk as a meditator
is to be a mystic
so that's my ambition is to be a mystic
a few days ago I was in my university
and we had a conference with some
Christians
about 8 or 9 Italian missionaries who are here
to teach Christianity
and much of this was actually in Thai
because they speak better Thai than they do English
so that was a bit bizarre to start with
and one of them seemed like a very very nice chap
very nice man - kind of in his 60s I guess, maybe 70s
and he said 'I ...
feel this love from God
and I have this love for God
and my ambition in life is to spread and share God's love in the world
he said "what's your ambition?"
I'm like .. well I want to like ...
meditate ???
it didn't seem like a very good response on my part
I couldn't
suggest to them a really worthy kind of goal
for what are we doing as Buddhists? what is our job?
well our job is to be a mystic
our idea is that we are trying to
capture or catch that mystery
and I did point out to the Catholic - Christian or Catholic group
that in fact you have mystics in
Christianity also
in fact every society around the world
has always had its mystics
those people who have
withdrawn from society to a degree
have gone to caves, mountains, hillsides
and have sat down
and have turned the attention inwards and gone into the mystery
and our question is what is that mystery?
what is the use of the benefit of it?
is it something that is worth pursuing?
and all of the saints and sages who have come back
and told us aobut this mystery
have said it's worth pursuing
so we take in a certain degree of trust
that this ...
this mystery that we enter into is something that will produce benefit
something that will be in the end, joyous
even if it's difficult to
arouse the energy and effort to do the meditation
Now, that's what I wanted to be
since I first heard about Buddhism I wanted to be a mystic
not in the sense of a
men like to feel that they have a deep sense of mystery about them ... but
is to enter into that actual
living experience
that essence of life itself
the difficulty is that
it doesn't really have any characteristics
so if you try and tell people
well what is it that you are entering into?
you get stuck for words
I very much like actually the Christian mystics
they call it 'Union with God'
I really like that
that just makes sense to me
I don't know who or what God is
I don't know really what enlightenment is
but I can enter into that kind of relationship
I can enter into that point in my mind
so when we turn the attention inwards
what you find is
a maelstrom if you know that word
like a tornado
of thoughts and feelings and impressions
and most people think that they are unable to meditate because
when they look at their mind in that way, that's what they find
there are a couple of responses to this
one response is to squash this cacophony
and .. enforce some kind of order on to it
and that's what we are doing when we do concentration meditation
when you concentrate on a colour or a thought, or an idea, or a mantra
you are flattening out that cacophony of noise
that's jumping around in the mind
and replacing it with something that's more pure
more serene, more ordered, more systematic
and that's extremely comfortable
once the mind crosses over .. it's called the gotrabhu
I like to use 'quantum leap'
because in quantum mechanics things have one state or another
there's no inbetween states
that's why it's called 'quantum' there's a quantity
I'm probably going too far into that now aren't I?
So gotrabhu means a chance of state
in the suttas you find it translated as 'change of lineage'
which is a bit vague
but what it means is the mind
exits from one mode of being and enters into another
mode of being
and that's what happens when you suddenly click
in concentration
when the mind suddenly drops everything
and just enters in happily with its meditation object
now this was recommended by the Buddha
we often
talk about concentration or Vipassana teachers
talk about concentration as being something
that's a distraction or is not the Holy Life
and I'm thinking of one particular monk
who I met - he's one of these
... he's very famous for psychic powers
very genuinely
he was talking about how he used to go walking meditation
on the hillside in the temple
and he said these devas would come down and start
hanging around
is that what happens on your walking meditation
you have devas come?
sing songs to you?
and then he would say to them
Go Away! you are disturbing my meditation
that wouldn't be my response!
I would be like oh wow devas!
I'm reminded of one of my favourite stories
some of you have heard it of Papaji (Poonjaji) in Lucknow
and he'd come out every day and answer people's questions
and one day ... he'd read from a book for a couple of hours
and then answer questions and one day
someone had written this question to him
she said: I was wandering in a forest behind Lucknow
and I came across an abandoned temple - and I sat there
and Shiva appeared to me and did this incredible dance
and every move of the dance was a communication and I understood perfectly
it went on and on and on for .. in my opinion, a little bit too long
and then Shiva disappeared, and I was left in a state of bliss
and eventually I realised
it's getting dark, it might not be safe and I found my way back to the place
what does this mean?
and Papaji he folds up this piece of paper
in his beautiful kind of enlightened manner
and he says: next time Shiva comes and appears to you
please tell him to come and see me because I haven't met him yet
and that was it that was the end of the question
so I like that - it's a good lesson
now whether devas do appear or whether Shivas do appear
or whether you are hallucinating or tripping
is kind of beside the point
the point is not to get caught up in these supernatural appearances
well concentration - these are the things that come when you ...
practice high degrees of concentration
and contrary to what many teachers teach
actually concentration was considered to be a good
and a beautiful, and a beneficial practice
in Buddhism the Buddha repeatedly
entrated his monks to practice concentration meditation
so this particular monk, he was saying how the devas would come
and disturb him on his walking meditation
and he would tell the devas to go away
he would practice these high states of concentration meditation
but in the end he said
this was all a waste of time because this isn't enlightenment
my frustration with that kind of teaching is
he may be enlightened actually I have very good confidence that
he's somebody quite highly attained
but the point was that concentration was his path
that was how he got to where he is now
and very often these saints, gurus, and people who you see
and hear about who are enlightened
they only tell you about that last little key that had
to get into enlightenment
and they don't tell you about the lifetimes of practice that they've done before that
so
one of the refrains that you hear in Buddhism
is concentration can be a distraction
well, that wasn't the way the Buddha actually taught it
but if we are going to go past concentration
concentration will quell the maelstrom quell the storm
and will appear as something very beautiful
and very stable as you cross over into it
but sooner or later you do have to come out of concentration
and then you are back
in this same mind again
so where in this jumping
stormy mind that we have where in that is the stable ground
that's what we are looking for
and this is the mystery into which we are entering
because as you delve as you go further into the mind
that's jumping around
what starts to happen is you see it in its real nature
and that is the nature of one thought coming up ...
what's for dinner; where am I going to go yesterday I had this for dinner
tomorrow I'm going to have that for dinner
so today I might have this for dinner
maybe I should get it in Villa
if I go to Villa, where am I going to park?
shall I not take the car? I can take the Skytrain
have I got money in my Skytrain card
I should go up and I should ....
and you are off .....
and this will go on and on and on and you will start somewhere
and then 10 minutes later your mindfulness returns
and now you are thinking about
what are you thinking about?
you are thinking about glaciers in Sweden
how did I get from dinner to glaciers in Sweden?
when an idea occurs to you
when something is conscious in the mind
it appears as something very important
it appears as something that needs to be thought about
and I've reflected on this time and time again, because
whenever something comes up in my mind
it seems like, really important
like: what's for dinner? well I really need to figure that out
even though 30 seconds ago I wasn't thinking about what's for dinner
or worried about what's for dinner
this actually did occur to me because yesterday I only had a
some MaMa
3 slices of bread, MaMa and I had some dried mushrooms and onion
that I put in the MaMa
and that was my only food yesterday
today I am looking forward Prayathna has brought me some food
some proper food
and so on the way here, I was ..
well last night I was calculating how many hours it had been since I had eaten
and this was around 6 or 7 o'clock and I was feeling quite hungry by this time
because it was about 30 hours
that I had only eater one tub of MaMa
and suddenly it seemed really really important to me
and looking around my room have I got anything I can sneak?
and I didn't
no tins of anything
and I was - I could really do with something right now
maybe I should have eaten more lunch
and it seemed really important
and then this morning I woke up
I realised that was 12 hours ago
that was 6 pm it's now 6 am
I haven't eaten anything for [another] 12 hours
and it hadn't even occurred to my mind
so how important was it?
that when I was thinking about it at 6 pm last night
how important was it really?
did I really want to eat something?
or is this just something that's appeared in my mind and
when something appears in conscious attention
it appears with a quality of importance
did you ever think about your old school friends?
people you have not seen for
a long time?
and how important that was when you were with them
and now it just does not matter
or a business, a company you used to work for
or an old job
and it seems ... when I worked as a chef
I would spend half my day thinking about the job
and mostly about the annoying manager we had a German manager
which is not very ... it is not a very good combination
and I would think about him quite a lot
he'd say some funny things
and have some strange opinions
frankly I thought i could do the job better than he did
that's what it ammounted to
and now I don't think about him
the only time he occurs to me is when I think about
how little I think about him
and how important it seemed at the time
that I really have to think about that person
whatever it is that appears in your conscious attention
appears as something really important
and that importance is what we call attachment
or I like to use the word 'lure'
it's a lure, that lures you in
it's a bait that will hook you into it
the Pali word that I'm thinking of here is
not the usual translation of attachment which is upadana
that has a slightly different meaning
but the Pali word 'nandhi'
and nandhi means to 'delight in'
or it means to hold in your hand
and it can be something that is pleasant or unpleasant
the pali word when we say 'delighting in'
it makes it sound like it's always something nice
but the Pali word has the connotation of
nice, or unpleasant
because whatever it is that appears in the mind
it appears as really important
it appears like something that I really need to think about
yet when we look at the mind we just find this like ...
pumping of ideas after ideas after ideas
after ideas ...
that always seem so important and then
15 seconds later actually that idea has gone
and a new idea has come up
so how important was that thing that was in your mind
15 seconds ago?
reflecting in this way
you have to sooner or later
ask the question well how important is all this
nonsense that is pumping through my mind
constantly, religiously, relentlessly
seemingly important but like ...
if it wasn't important 15 seconds ago
and this idea is not going to be important in 30 seconds time
why do I give it importance now?
I'm also thinking of my .. the ... school - I have
a couple of thousand school girls outside my window
which is not a very pleasant experience
actually the school girls are fine
it's the teachers they get on the loud speakers
and they rant everybody - you're not in a line
you didn't pick litter up in your room yesterday stand to attention
sing a song listen to this announcement
go over there fill in this form
and this goes across the loud speakers
right across ...
my building has about 200 monks in it
so it blasts straight into these 200 monks rooms
of course I don't care about
199 of those monks
schools are going to start again
I think Tuesday or something ..?
Tuesday it's going to all start
crank up again I've had a couple of months of peace
when the teachers are going with this noise
usually starts about 7 o'clock in the morning with music
horrible music
like at least play them some John Lee *** or something!
and I won't like it
and while I'm listening to it I won't like it
and it will go on for 2 hours usually in the morning
but the thing that strikes me is
I usually don't notice when it stops
it's very interesting
that this thing that I find so unpleasant
and I'll go on and I'll do my work
I'll update the websites and things like this
and then it'll come to 10 o'clock
and I'll realise it stopped an hour ago and I never even noticed
how important was it when I was disliking it?
if I don't even notice when it stops
so the question is what is there
aside from this constant stream?
of stuff that's pounding on your door knocking on your door
aside from that
that's the mystery
that's the feeling of just life itself
it's an undercurrent of clear
continuous presence
it's actually always there
in every mind state that you can have, this
feeling of life, of ...
you might say consciousness, but
in Buddhism
consciousness has a slightly different meaning
but in the English sense of [consciousness] just
a continual conscious presence, awakeness
that's actually there behind every single state of mind
so what we are doing is if we can break
this feeling of importance of this stream of stuff
what starts to
you start to become aware of
out of that is this
continual presence
it's just there, it's ...
gentle
it's not exciting, it's not dull it's not anything
but it's always there
and that's the mystery
that's the thing that we are trying to hook into
that we are trying to catch hold of
now it's very abstract
and that was why
I was saying earlier if you want to
really become a meditator
you have to have some kind of Puja
some kind of offering
because this
quiet presence
that's so abstract
we have to try and make some kind of concrete
relationship to it
but what happens is the more that you can do that
and the more that you identify
that undercurrent of simple presence
it's not a state of mind that you need to generate
it's what's there when you stop
attaching importance to all the stuff
that's churning through your mind
it's just there it starts to appear and manifest
as something that's always there
a bit like listening to me now
but hearing the air conditioner
it's always there just gentle
you just don't notice it because
it's not striking enough
so this importance that we give to the stuff
in the mind
it's that importance that is the obstacle
if we don't give importance to the stuff that's going through the mind
to this maelstrom, to this constant battering of ideas
and thoughts, and feelings
and memories and impressions
if you don't give ...
if you can break that importance
what happens is the
attention will start to withdraw
from all those machinations
and will start to attach to the only thing that's left
which is this
serene background presence
so it's a process of the
I like the advaitia this is not a Buddhist
idea
it's part of the enlightenment tradition of India
it came from Ramana Maharshi I think
or it might be Nisargadatta I get them mixed up
and he said it's like the inchworms
and the inchworms in India, they
travel along a leaf
then they'll stand up on their rearmost legs
and they will twirl around
on the leaves
what they are doing is
they want to leave the leaf that they are on but they don't know
where they are going to
so every so often they will reach up
and they will twirl around and eventually
they will catch hold of something
and when they catch hold of something
they let go of that original leaf
so Ramana Maharshi
used this as a metaphor
for our meditation
is the sense of self is withdrawing
from one thing which is this constant chatter
machine gun firing of the mind
but is going to have to reach around before it can find something else to hold on to
he described enlightenment as being finally what happens
the sense of self completely disengages from the stuff
and then attaches to the unconditioned, or the Amata
or the enlightenment
so this is our job with the
I am using the word 'importance' here
but the Pali word is 'nandhi'
or 'delighting in'
or 'attaching to'
because the things that appear in the mind
appear as something that's important
they lure you in
and they try to grab your attention
in fact the job of the human being
usually is out of this
chaos - we try to find something stable
but we do it in the wrong way
we do it by forming a ego
right? we want to make some kind of story
which will make sense of this constant
chatter in the mind
and we attach on to the stories
because the stories give you some kind of stable ground
some way of relating to yourself
Iwas watching a documentary on Alaska
a while back and this guy
was going out hunting
he's very fit
and the camera crew that follows him around
are not able to keep up with him
because he's really fit and strong
and he's going way out into the outback in Alaska
and it's quite dangerous
there's lots of bogs, and pit holes and
you can break your leg, break your neck
and, they said to him
you can just die out here!
if you twist your ankle
and you're 6 hours walk into the bush
you are finished
and he said
... shall I try and do an Alaskan accent?
A mountain man I was born
a mountain man I am
and a mountain man I sure as hell will die
that's the best I can do
I'm not good at accents
this was a story that he's attaching to right
and not just any story this is life and death
this is him
going out hunting bear, and
I felt a bit sorry for the bears, but
he can die out there! well he has a story that will
carry him through
this is a way to make sense
of, what essentially when you look at it in the mind
doesn't make very much sense
and so this is what psychology is all about
is how you make sense of this constant stuff
how do you put it into order
how can you find some good stories
from which you can
which are better stories to operate from
there is actually a modern
brand of psychology
it's called 'narrative psychology'
Dan McAdams is the main guy
I've tried several times reading the texts on this but I find them very ...
wishy washy what they do is they interview people
and try to find what are the stories that people live by
what you end up with then is just like a different story for every person
it doesn't give you much guidance in my opinion
I've been very disappointed so far
in the psychology of the narrative self
this narrative self
is the self that we need to let go of
when in Buddhism we are talking about non-self
we are talking about ways to undermine
that sense of your story
your self
you actually don't need it
you will operate fairly well in the world without these narratives
to hang on to
much better than you probably think you would
I found my life as a monk - when you are a junior monk
you really try hard to be monk-like
when you are talking to people you want to try and
be monk-like and you see it with the Thai monks
they do it very beautifully actually
a very beautiful thing, but ...
when they come to the temple
and they come in and they are kind of just like - usually
guys 20-22 years old
finished school don't really want to be in the temple
they'll do their bit make some merit for their family
and then they go through the ordination procedure and suddenly they are like
walking around very serene very proper
whereas 10 minutes before they were kind of like this
in front of their parents now suddenly they are like:
because you are taking on a role
and you are taking on a role
and it is important to do that
if you are going to ordain as a monk you can't behave
the way you were behaving before, so
I don't want to criticise that that's not what they should do
I do wonder what I looked like when I became a monk
to me now it's actually just I can't remember being any other way
most of my adult life was spent as a monk
so taking on that kind of role
does become important
especially when you are coming into the public eye
that's also
important you have to take on that persona
and you do it yourself right?
you will have a certain persona as a parent, with your children
which is a bit different to your persona with your husband or your wife
which is a bit different to your persona with your boss
this kind of psychology I quite like this was George Kelly
Personal Construct Theory and he talked a lot about roles
and he was one of the ones that introduced
the idea in therapy that you can actually start taking on different roles
and practising these roles with your therapist
well with our Buddhist practice meditation practice
we are undermining this entire sense of self
you actually don't need it
and the more you drop all these kind of roles and ideas
the more ordinary you become
and it you ever meet some of these really well attained monks and teachers
they are often extremely ordinary people
so ordinary it's quite strange
so we undercut these stories and personas that we invent
to make sense of this maelstrom of stuff
the maelstrom of the storm of stuff
is a constant barrage of things that appear important
while they are right there in front of you
but
when we reflect on it actually it's not important
it jsut appears important because you have your spotlight on it
watching it in that way you start to lose your attachment
and this si what is meant by non-attachment
when we talk about
non-attachment in Buddhism
people try to make it into a
thing - well..
I've heard people say
well you should be attached ...
you should still do things but not be attached to the results of things
and that's non-attachment
does that make sense?
psychologically it's not a bad idea right?
you make an effort but you should be willing to accept
whether your effort succeeds or fails
does't help when you are writing a thesis
so people have tried to make sense of this idea of non-attachment
but if you're not attached to your health and your pension, or your
family and your job and ..
your visa
these are all things that you have to do in life
you have to have an amount of attachment to them
your role as a parent, or as a monk, or as a
husband or a wife you have to have
attachments to those roles
otherwise you are not taking it seriously
you are not going to fulfil those roles properly
So
in my view when we talk about non-attachment, it's
non-attachment in your life
as life things that you've got to take care of
doesn't make very much sense
but non-attachment when you are entering into the mystery
when you are entering into that feeling
that lies behind all the
movement of the mind
that makes perfect sense
because the one thing when that
mystery starts to reveal itself
the one thing that you see about it
is it's not all that churning stuff
and the thing that hides it
is this sense of importance with whatever is occurring in your mind
if you can break that sense of importance
with the things that are arising in your conscious attention
then that mystery starts to reveal itself
much much more easily and more beautifully
so this is what we are doing when we do meditation
I set my alarm my buzzer for 1hr 40 mins
because it's 99 minutes
and that's lucky in Thailand, so ...
99 minutes
and
usually the first 99 minutes isn't that nice
it takes me a long time
to get my meditation started
partly because, if you meditate for long periods of time
the meditation doesn't feel very important
because you are going to be doing it all day
if you've got 15 minutes then you
your meditation - you want to make it important so you put in more effort
so that's one thing I have noticed with myself
if I am meditating before I go to university or something
I've got 15 minutes it's a really good 15 minutes
because I put my back into it
as all this stuff comes up in my mind
and it seems really important I want to think about the boxing
I want to think about
my room
I want to think about books that I want to write
YouTubes that I want to make
videos that I want to edit
all the stuff
this stuff comes from habit
that's what the
all psychology is about really is about how this habit forms
stuff comes up because you've thought about it before
and given it importance before
if you can break that importance to all this stuff that's coming up
they mystery, the thing that lies behind it
starts to reveal itself as very clear and very present
and this is what mindfulness
actually is
mindfulness is often presented as
being mindful of what you are doing
that's
stage 1 - that will help you
mindfulness in the original context
was sati and sampajanya
satimeans to recollect
sampajanya is the feeling of your own awareness
if you can recollect the feeling of your own awareness
this is stable ground
and will appear
as stable ground appear as something beautiful
once you absorb into it
now that is a very definite and clear experience
so we are not rejecting all experience
we are rejecting all of this churning of the mind
so this is the
meaning of attachment and non-attachment
I would offer up to switch the word 'attachment'
for the word 'importance'
or the word 'delighting in'
nandhi - it means holding something in your conscious attention
that's the thing that we are trying to ... that's the habit that we are trying to break
after that - then the mystery starts to present itself
it becomes clearer and clearer
I have a lot of stuff in my mind
Just as you have a lot of stuff in your mind
but after a while of watching it
watching ... watching ... then 'phut'
you catch those moments when the mind stops churning
then like: that's right
I have a metaphor
or analogy
which I want to finish off on
and this was a .. something from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
and they are talking about the Bardo states
which are states that appear after you die
and before you take a rebirth
now whether that is true
or not true
I am not interested I am using this as a metaphor
but what they say is
that after you die
because you don't have the physical body slowing things down
what happens is when a beautiful thought occurs to you
beautiful state starts to arise
you become immensley beautiful and angelic
and deve-like
but when an angry, greedy or unwholesome thought
thought appears to you
you become completely un... completely greedy
unangelic
and you become like a monster
and apparently this is the experience
this is what they are describing is the experience
will be so unstable, jumping around
from one thing to another thing and the mind will take on these
gigantic proportions because there's nothing slowing it down
we have our physical bodies to
matter to slow things down
and give you a kind of sense of stability
but after you die, your mind just goes so completely wild
nothing to hold it back
and this is why in Buddhism they say that
the moment after you die is
a period where you can become enlightened
if you have done a lot of practice
we don't normally teach in that way because
you come and do your practice with me and after you are die you'll be alright ...
we want to stay away from that kind of thing
like: give me all your money and I'll put it into a bank account
and when you die you can withdraw it
in the meantime I've got all your money!
so we tend to stay away from those kind of teachings
but they are there
and they do say that when you die there is a moment where you can
have a high potential for attaining enlightenment
because the mind is so powerful
but as your mind switches between angels and monsters
flipping from one extreme to the other extreme
according to the book
out of all of this will appear a soft blue light
and the soft blue light will appear attractive
because it's stable
and so your attention goes in to that soft, stable blue light
and once you enter into that blue light you've entered into a womb
and into a rebirth
and you're going to be born
as a being, creature
now I can't verify that that's what will happen
is it a blue light?
what happens if you die and then you see like a yellow light?
you are like: well, is that the ....
is that the right light? or is that the wrong light? do I ....
where do I go?
so
I don't want to suggest what you do when you die
I don't know myself
but I really liked this I do have faith
and I do have trust in Buddhism
and I like this as a metaphor
because in the meditation this is how the mystery starts to appear
out of this maelstrom of monsters and demons and angels and
beautiful and hateful states of mind
that come rattling through shaking my cage
telling me I'm important I'm important
appears this soft gentle just awareness
simple awareness and presence
that's the mystery
that's what we are trying to get hold of in meditation
when you sink into that
once in a while the mind will stop
and this becomes quite clear
this is a Gotrabhu
this is a change of lineage
it's very clear when you exit from that state into the - this new state
from that new vantage point you can still see the mind churning away
but it has zero importance
doesn't really matter anymore what the mind is doing
you don't need ... enlightenment isn't
going to be creating a new state of mind
because you can see all of that stuff, going
and here this is very simple very clear and present
so that's where Ajahn Chah described it nicely
he said you have your ... crossing over a stream or a brook
but you didn't commit to jumping over
and you wound up with one leg on one bank
and one leg on the other bank and not being able to go in either direction
such a great metaphor!
because you are in the mystery
but you can see the mind churning you haven't quite crossed over yet
so the second stage of it is when you actually cross straight over
and you are just in that bright stillness
presence
at that point there's absolutely nothing left to do
well this is the Path it becomes very clear
what is interesting that I find
is the mind of the self and the ego
self-identity
isn't there at that point
when you come out of the meditation
usually you get on and you are doing your stuff
and you are working in the world
and then you are suddenly like hang on a minute
when I was meditating it was something really
important there
but you see 'I' wasn't there
I can't remember it I wasn't present
because this whole me is something all created up
so bit by bit it starts to filter into your consciousness
and you get more and more of a trust
I know what happens now when I let my entire
self go and I know that it's beautiful
in those times what I find is I become
happy for no reason
I'm not a happy person, generally
I'm a whinger well I'm English
we grumble we moan
that's what we like to do
but what I find funny is just this kind of happiness
kind of upwells
for no reason within me
and it's remembering that
because I've seen that mystery, I've been in that mystery
So I'm going to leave it there today
this was the topic attachment, and non-attachment
because
these Singaporeans that come to see me - that was their question
why is it that you want to practice non-attachment
isn't that a crazy thing to do
the answer is yes
you have to be attached to the things of the world, and life
but in meditation it makes perfect sense
OK I'm going to leave it there. if anyone has a question or a comment ....