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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
Before we start, however, keep in mind that, although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries my occur.
For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from t-
Por favor bordon de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias-
Stand back. The portal will open in three, two, one.
Excellent. Please proceed into the chamber-lock after completing each test.
First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit.
This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Gril will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it- for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube.
Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the Fifteen Hundred Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button.
Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber-lock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test.
You're doing very well!
Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill,
which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
Very good! You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.
With it, you can create your own portals.
These intra-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe.
The Device, however, has not.
Do not touch the operational end of The Device.
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Do not submerge The Device in liquid, even partially.
Most importantly, under no circumstances, should you
Please proceed to the chamber-lock. Mind the gap.
Well done! Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Welcome to test chamber four.
You're doing quite well.
Once again, excellent work.
As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck.
As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication.
Good job! As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three, two, o-
While safety is one of the many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities such as vaporization.
Please be careful.
Unbelievable! You [Subject name here], must be the pride of [Subject hometown here].
Warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the High Energy Pellet, and have therefore been disabled for your safety.
Good. Now use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamber-lock.
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!
Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience.
The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible. Make no attempt to solve it.
The Enrichment Center apologizes for this clearly broken test chamber.
Once again, the Enrichment Center offers its most sincere apologies on the occasion of this unsolvable test environment.
Frankly, this chamber was a mistake. If we were you, we would quit now.
No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response.
Quit now and [cake] will be served immediately.
Fantastic! You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.
Hello again. To reiterate our previous warning: This test [garbled] momentum [garbled].
Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not.
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment.
In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.
For instance, the floor here will kill you- try to avoid it.
The Device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once.
As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact:
The Device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [Subject Hometown Here].
Through no fault of the Enrichment Center, you have managed to trap yourself in this room. An escape hatch will open in three, two, one.