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Ok, so, um
So when you invaded the Falklands you *** wankers.
So Diego, um, you took on the whole England team
you scored a goal it was with your hand, you jumped over Peter Shilton, what would you like to say about that?
Sí, i like it very much, you know the time that i went into the box, it was all my doing
but it was not the hand of God, it was the hand of the Martian priest
that came down from the other planet, that is in alignment of the same time
i did not put my hand, my hand, my hand was not part of what we are know saying
OK, OK
What? What? What?
Let me stop you there, let me stop you there, Peter Shilton, what is your thoughts on this?
Um, well i tried my best but, um, ah, to be fair i was ***.
No I like-a Peter, I like-a Peter, he's very nice man, he's a very nice man, but to me
like the most honest thing that i have to say is that I scored the goal, i scored the goal and we go through to the next phase
I wonder what Terry Butcher would say about that after having his head smacked in. Terry, what would you say about that?
*** ***, that's what i say about it, you know.
I like to say that i take the ball past Terry Butcher, you know, and i take it past him very quickly, very very quickly
and all he say is like "Hey, where is your Mother? Eh" you know
so i turn to him and i say "My Mother is with your Mother, and your Mother is with..."
OK, we're going to have to cut now 'cause he's starting taking too much ***.
So er, you managed to get round Terry Butcher and you took on the whole England team and you scored a goal
and then you scored a goal with your hand as well, er, this was in 1984 at the World Cup, so um, er, what would you like to say about that?
Diego?
I enjoyed it very much, i like very much when i go to the side of the people and everything
and it's very very good, so the people that enjoy like the goal of the hand of God, really what it means to me is, the hand of,
*** hell man that's not right at all is it quite frankly? Is it? No not at all.
Are you from Kazakhstan?
Yeah exactly, *** hell, i thought we'd got Borat on, can we like re-take? Snap, snap, go, go.