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I got this mole, right…
It's the Paul Ryan Video Diary! Woo! Party Time --
You ever have a butt cheek problem in the morning?
And you're going to vomit?
I swear there was this black Cinderella who rushed into my room
She wanted to jump me!
I'm in a band called Steak Baby, which is, like, the best band I've ever been in
We have a guitar and a song that's about my favorite color:
"Orange Space Monkey, don't break the couch much…"
I went into a Starbucks building
And everyone started collapsing
And I went to Steve-o, and he said, "okay, you slipped into the future"
He said, "Ask about the special…"
"'Cause it's Donut Day."
This was before the tattoo
Jethro got me more grapes
'Cause pears *** me off less.
Plus bananas kind of suck.
Seriously, they're not the best present.
This is my band's first single
And right now, you're getting a sneak preview.
It's "Quench Your Heartbeat".
I don't wanna move my food
I don't wanna move the cat
I'll make a sandwich, I'll help a moose
Hop on the pickle for your parents.
The Seventies are gone, baby
And it's hard for your friends who like gummy bears.
I want an extra donut for the lonely French family.
I'll give them 40 pieces while they're sipping their soda.
And we'll sing Chicago!
(door opens) What are you doing?
Get out of here, Mitt! I'm filming my video diary!
You're messing it up!
I'm telling Janna you're on the internet…
No no! Wait, just hold --
I hate it when that happens
Mitt's brain stops.
Let me tell you how the man's been going on for two years about a plastic bench.
Okay, we've been told not to use the name Steak Baby anymore
So here are some other names we're considering