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I just want to start off by saying it's geek week. So make it awesome.
This week's rant comes to you from a fracking gag order. Fracking gag order.
Now. You probably think I'm dropping some 7th-century Germanic smack-talk, or maybe
that I'm describing some fraternity hazing ritual that will most definitely lead to more
than one near-death experience, and probably a lawsuit. Which, as you'll see, leads us
right back to the fracking gag order.
Fracking!
Or hydraulic fracturing, is, in the briefest sense, a way for energy companies to get a
lot more natural gas from each drilling pad. I've included links for a lot more info because
this video was just becoming too long. But I want to pose the question, is fracking convenient?
Yes. But you know what would be even MORE convenient? If the people living next to the
drilling pads would just shut up already about their stupid water contamination!
Because while fracking seems like it should be a safe practice on paper, admittedly, a
couple things might have gone wrong in the past. Like, I don't know, maybe hydraulic
fluid, containing highly toxic chemicals spewed all over some grazing pastures, killing a
bunch of farm animals and soaking into the ground. And just maybe some of the natural
gas at other drill sites leached into aquifers, making people's drinking water...you know.
Flammable.
We'll get back to all that, but first: you know those rights you have that are protected
by law?
I ask because for a lot of people I've met, rights are kind of like your lateral malleoli.
You might not care that you have lateral malleoli. You might not know what they are. But if for
whatever reason some guy decided to surgically remove them in your sleep, you'd wake up to
discover that you suddenly care a lot about those bony lumps that used to be on the sides
of your ankles. And if you hobbled out of bed, you'd probably fall on your face...because,
I don't really wanna be the one to tell you this, but you've got no lateral malleoli.
Now let's bring it in. Last week in the news, a family that believed that their health problems
were the result of fracking activity around their house took the companies responsible
for the drilling to court.
And as part of the settlement, they were awarded $750,000—which is awesome, right? Yes! Except
for that little part where they had to sign a statement saying that the energy companies
were not responsible for their health problems. And also, where they had to literally sign
away their 1st Amendment Rights to freedom of speech regarding the issue. Which apparently
means that they will never be able to speak of it for as long as they live.
Woah. Hang on. So the energy companies paid money to a family for causing them health
problems, but would only give the money when the family said the companies didn't cause
the health problems—which, if true, would have precluded the necessity of these companies
forking out 750 grand to the family in the first place!
No, this is the good part.
Because the parents of this family only agreed to say that the fracking companies didn't
harm their health, just so they could get the settlement money they needed to move away
from the fracking sites to get their health back on track.
Growl. How can one person cope with this much irony!
But the final stroke of irony is the fact that the court order which demands the victims'
complete silence...is causing such a loud buzz. I mean, the part where companies effectively
bribed a family through a court order pretty much speaks for the family...and says a lot
about the companies. But I guess that's what you get when you cut off four people's constitutional
lateral malleoli, throw money at them, and tell their kids to forget that it ever happened.
But People of the Tube, now I want to hear from you. Should courts be allowed to give
gag orders about information that could potentially harm the public? And when should courts should
conceal information to protect businesses?
Comment! Subscribe!
And in a completely unrelated note, how do you, would you, or will you celebrate geek
week? Let everyone know in the comments for a chance to get a shout out in next week's
rant!