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ADAM: Now, on Top Gear...
Here we go!
I hijack the show and drive my dream car.
This car is loud!
We play a little football.
-Hut, hut, hut! -TANNER: Good God! (BLEEP)
Oh!
And finally teach Raceboy a lesson.
Oh, God!
(LAUGHING)
ADAM: Right from the start, Top Gear has given us the opportunity to do
some incredible things in amazing vehicles.
But for some reason...
No brakes!
...they've been less than enthusiastic about a few of my ideas.
However, due to a few compromising photos I found,
they suddenly agreed to turn the whole show over to me.
Now, Tanner usually gets to drive the expensive cars,
but not today.
This was my show,
so I got to drive the car of my dreams,
one that has been an obsession since I was a kid.
When I was a little boy, my father bought me a model car and told me a story.
The car was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen,
a sexy, low-slung, aggressive speed machine.
Then he told me why that car was built.
It was a story of vengeance that epitomized America's "can-do" spirit.
My father taught me a very valuable lesson that day.
Don't get mad, get even.
And that revenge was a beautiful thing.
This is the 1966 Ford GT40,
the car that made the world take notice of American engineering,
beating the then-dominant Ferrari at the legendary 24 Hours of Le Mans.
Look at it. It's all power and might.
It was built for one purpose,
victory.
In 1962, Enzo Ferrari pulled out of a deal
to sell his company to Ford at the last minute.
This infuriated Henry Ford, II,
so to get his revenge, the Deuce made a call to Carroll Shelby,
who dropped in a massive 427 into the GT40,
and let slip the dogs of war.
The GT40 crushed Ferrari, and went on to win
four consecutive victories from 1966 to 1969.
And during the 1966 24-hour race,
it racked up over 3000 miles.
It's valued at over eight million dollars.
Eight million dollars!
And they're gonna let me drive it.
This is it.
This is the actual car that beat Ferrari at Le Mans in 1966.
Oh, this is so cool.
Easy.
I don't wanna break anything.
There we go. Get the door shut.
This isn't just any Ford GT40.
This is the GT40.
Probably one of the most important cars in American automotive history.
This is a little intimidating.
I'm actually gonna drive this car.
I know what you're thinking.
Clearly they don't watch the show.
Here we go.
My palms are all sweaty.
(EXHALES DEEPLY) All right. Power on.
Fuel pump on.
Fire it up.
(ENGINE ROARING)
Listen to that!
That's history, baby!
Oh, man!
If my father could see me now.
(LAUGHING)
All right. First gear.
Here we go!
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
(SWITCHES ENGINE OFF)
That's it.
That's it. I'm only allowed to drive it six feet.
And not just me. Anyone's only allowed to drive it six feet.
I signed in as Tanner Foust.
They didn't care about that, either.
It's depreciation. That little trip?
Probably cost around 10 grand.
I'm gonna have to come up with something else.
So what do you do when your childhood dream
of driving a legend comes up short?
Luckily, there was a solution.
For a mere $135,000,
you can buy a hand-built replica that is so like the original
over two-thirds of its rolling chassis parts are interchangeable.
And the good thing about this one is,
I can actually drive it.
It might be a replica, but it's got teeth.
In fact, it has 65 more horsepower
and can reach 60 miles an hour half a second faster.
And it's a bit of a handful.
This car is loud!
This has no safety in it whatsoever.
There's no traction control, no stability!
This is a friggin' race car!
(LAUGHING)
It's times like this I wish I was a better driver,
'cause I get the distinct feeling that I could kill myself.
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
See?
You know, when you were a kid,
and you thought it would be really cool to be a race car driver?
You were right!
This is friggin' cool.
Oh, now that's a car.
(EXHALES)
Look at that. (LAUGHING)
I was fulfilling my childhood dream.
(CAR HONKING)
And to make it even better, I'd arranged a race against Rutledge.
I told him to pick up a Ferrari GT, and meet me at the track.
A GT40!
Hell, yes!
Which I can only assume is a kit car.
Technically.
Because who in their right mind would loan you an original?
Excuse me. I drove an original.
Oh, really?
Six feet, but I drove it.
-Bet it was great. -Yeah!
This is real nice. When did you marry a plastic surgeon?
Are you kidding me? A Ferrari 550 Maranello, you're gonna make fun of that?
"Maranello," isn't that your dancing name?
ADAM: Clearly, Rut couldn't get a hold
of the actual Ferrari that the GT40 beat,
but that didn't matter. I still had a point to prove.
This car was made to beat Ferrari. And it did.
-That little prancing horse, when it reared up? -Yeah.
The cobra bit it in the balls.
What?
Four times.
I'm just gonna have to teach you a lesson.
-What have you got in mind? -Mount up.
ADAM: This was the perfect chance
to wipe the beard off of Rut's face.
It was Le Mans all over again.
American muscle versus Italian panache.
And what better way to prove the point than a quarter-mile drag race?
(ENGINE REVVING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
This is a beast,
and I'm gonna eat that prancing stallion for lunch.
It's so wrong that someone loaned him that car.
It's like handing a rocket launcher to an insane person.
All right. You count it off.
(SIGHS) Here we go.
Three.
Two.
One.
Go!
ADAM: Coming up, we battle it out.
I'm hot on his tail! Look out!
And later, I finally find a way to slow Tanner down.
Oh, God!
ADAM: I used a little blackmail to take control of the show.
My first move was to drive my dream car.
Listen to that!
The Le Mans-winning GT40.
Now, I was taking on Rut in a drag race,
reliving the 50-year-old rivalry between Ford and Ferrari.
Three.
Two.
One.
Go!
Oh, that thing is fast! Look at it go!
Come on, baby!
That's it!
Oh, he's leaving me!
(ADAM LAUGHING)
Oh, come on, it's a replica!
Really? Real Ferrari, fake GT40.
Just got smoked!
(ADAM LAUGHING)
I think, in Italian,
the word is,
"You lost."
That was a drag race, okay?
-That didn't prove anything. -Sure it did.
-You've got a monstrous engine. -Yeah.
You know what? That's not what Le Mans was about.
It was about endurance.
I'm enduring you right now.
No, you know what?
We're gonna settle this with an endurance race.
We don't have all day.
Well we can do something a little bit shorter.
Follow me.
ADAM: It was great beating Lady Maranello.
And even if it was my show,
it felt like the right thing to do
to let him come up with another way to lose.
All right, Rut. What the hell are we doing here?
This, my friend, is an endurance race.
How do you figure this is an endurance race?
This is a tiny, tiny track. It's maybe 200 yards long,
and it's an oval.
I say whoever gets the most laps in 24 minutes, wins.
This was your big idea?
RUTLEDGE: We'd start on opposite sides of a tight oval and try to catch each other.
Adam's casual relationship with safe cornering was bound to favour me.
Let's do this. The 24 Minutes of Le Mans.
All right, Adam, in three,
two, one. Don't puke!
(CAROUSEL MUSIC PLAYING)
This is the dumbest thing!
Look out! Oh, that thing's too loud.
I gotta roll my window up.
I can't even get out of first gear!
Wow, you can get dizzy on this.
RUTLEDGE: Oh, look at that.
I'm on his tail. I'm hot on his tail! Look out!
This is ridiculous.
We're just going around in a circle. Nowhere.
I'm going on the outside!
Oh, I took him! On the outside!
I'm gonna... (COUGHING)
I'm choking on carbon monoxide in this thing.
Between the exhaust and going in a circle.
And lunch.
This isn't going so good.
Oh, is he stopping? Is he stopping?
He does not look good.
(HONKS)
(EXHALES)
-Nice horn. -Whoo!
That's how you endure, my friend.
Clearly, this proved the Ferrari's superiority over the GT40.
No it doesn't. It just proves you can go in a circle.
You're used to that. NASCAR's conditioned you.
I would've been okay if I didn't have lunch before we did this.
Well, that sounds like your problem.
This was a test of endurance, and I won.
All right, look, well, I won one and you won one.
Yeah.
So basically, it's just time for you to admit that that is a great car.
It's a cool car, but this is a much better car.
It is not a better car.
ADAM: Rut and I fight a lot, but we've always agreed
never to fight in front of the children.
Wow. These are beautiful cars.
Huh? What'd I tell you?
Who's winning?
Well, we've actually each won something...
You need a tiebreaker, is what you're saying.
BOTH: Yeah.
Just arrived.
I'll lap 'em on the real track. How about that?
Both cars, all right. You know what? Yeah.
Fine. Tiebreaker.
Give me the keys, Dad.
Prancing horse first?
Don't get him started. He's gonna... See?
(WHISPERING) Yeah!
RUTLEDGE: (OVER RADIO) Okay, Tanner, are you ready?
Yes, sir.
All right, here we go.
Ferrari is a lot cooler and faster than a GT40 on
three, two, one...
Go!
Go, go, go, go!
RUTLEDGE: All right, a little wheel spin off the line, there.
ADAM: It's gonna cost you.
All right. Tucking it in tight.
This is a decreasing radius. Just gotta really be patient.
Wow, way more front-end grip than I thought there'd be.
All right, I'm gonna be able to push this car.
RUTLEDGE: Don't you see how sleek that car is when it's out there?
ADAM: Yeah, but it's nowhere near as cool-looking as the GT40.
Look at that. You can see that running around Beverly Hills any day of the week.
Oh, my God, it's so quiet.
It's hard to tell if it's even working or not,
and the grip in the front is really spectacular, actually.
Good God!
You have to really throw it to make it angry, but once it gets angry, it will bite.
Flat through this, maybe?
Yes. Now braking hard.
RUTLEDGE: Nine times Ferrari won at Le Mans. Nine times.
Yeah, until the GT40 beat it four times in a row.
And guess what?
It's gonna beat it again today.
No, that's not true.
-ADAM: Here he comes. -Don't late-click it, just...
-ADAM: I'm not, I'm not. -Come on, come on.
ADAM: There he goes, there he goes.
RUTLEDGE: Yeah, all the way up. There it is, he's coming.
Oh, that was fast, what was it?
1:54 flat.
Somehow it achieves seemingly impossible performance,
with absolute Italian dignity.
There's no way the GT40 can go faster than that.
You're kidding? It's gonna crush that thing.
It's a race car.
That's something you buy your wife if you have a lot of money
'cause she caught you cheating with the babysitter.
-RUTLEDGE: That is not a nice thing to say. -(ADAM CHUCKLING)
There's some guy watching right now who just looked over at his wife
-and he's like, "What? What? -(LAUGHING)
"I just thought you would like it.
"It doesn't have anything to do with Katie."
ADAM: The time to beat was one minute, 54 seconds.
I knew my GT40 was fast,
but with its old-school handling and lack of technology,
would it be fast enough?
It all comes down to this, my friend.
It all comes down to this.
This, and that little man is going to tell the story.
I've got faith. I've got faith in the Ferrari.
All right. You ready, Tanner?
Yeah, ready.
Three, two, one. Go!
Listen to that! Listen to that!
-I can't hear anything! -Yeah! (LAUGHING)
ADAM: Since grabbing control of Top Gear,
I had driven the car of my dreams.
That's history, baby!
Oh, that thing is fast! Look at it go!
I had beaten Rut in a drag race.
Just got smoked.
Now I was using Raceboy to settle the argument once and for all.
Oh, that was fast, what was it?
He had lapped Rut's 550 Maranello in one minute and 54 seconds.
Now it was time to unleash the beast.
(ENGINE SNARLING)
ADAM: Three, two, one. Go!
Come on!
(LAUGHING) Listen to that! Listen to that!
RUTLEDGE: I can't hear anything!
ADAM: Yeah! (LAUGHING)
My ears are bleeding.
Yes! That's a race car.
Oh, there's lots of power! The noise is awesome!
Go baby, go baby, go!
Woah. Slow it down, slow it down.
It's not the easiest car to drive.
No power-assist anything.
No power-assist brakes.
No power-assist steering.
And I'm not sure if this seat has me or not.
And we've got a huge amount of smoke.
Coming in.
RUTLEDGE: Ooh. Ooh. Look at the smoke. That feels good for me.
Hang on, car. Don't burn me up.
Come on, baby.
It's not like... It's a trailbreaker.
Come on, babe. I know you don't like turning left.
ADAM: There he comes. Look at that.
That's it, you run, you sexy best, you run!
Come on, come on, come on, come on!
RUTLEDGE: Oh, my gosh!
Whoo!
That was a workout! (LAUGHING)
How do you feel?
I feel fine. I just think...
How'd that go?
You tell me. What did it feel like? What was faster?
(SIGHS) I hate to say it, but I think the Ferrari.
Because the Ferrari, you could do the exact same lap
and get exactly what you wanted, power steering...
BOTH: Mmm-hmm.
You had, like, (SING-SONG) Mi Amore or whatever playing on the radio,
it was so easy, where the Ford, I was lucky to stay on the track.
-That thing is a death trap the way that it is. -Yes, it is.
It was scary. Sounded awesome!
-Yeah! -Should've adjusted the belts.
-Yeah. -They were up around my neck halfway through the lap.
What was the time? Come on. Which was faster?
The Ferrari, you did it in 1:54 flat.
-I guess. -Good time.
Impressive, respectable, we all agree.
Yeah, burn the tyres off, it was fun.
Now, the GT40 you did in 1:49:66.
-No way! -Yes!
Are you kidding me? It felt so much scarier than that.
What was impartial about that high five?
He just did it, he survived that car!
I'm celebrating that I survived the track and the car.
I get it. I've been hoodwinked. I've been bamboozled.
-No! -This is chicanery, right here. This is tomfoolery.
You don't know what any of those words mean.
Did he pay you? Did he tell you to sandbag the Ferrari?
Listen to me. There was no skulduggery going on here, okay?
Cheaters. You're both cheaters.
How are we cheating? That's what you're gonna go with?
Cheaters.
-That's what you... -Into the sunset he goes.
-Swing your arms. -He can't accept...
I'm going where cheaters don't hang out.
Okay. Walk like a human being.
TANNER: Less arm swing.
ADAM: You know what that is? That's the Bigfoot film from the '70s.
Can I drive that car again?
-Yeah. -All right. Let's go.
That thing is terrifying.
What a bunch of crap.
ADAM: As always, Rut was gracious in defeat.
Hoodwinked!
But I was just getting started,
so after Rut emerged from his five-minute time-out,
I took him and Tanner across town, to a dirt football field.
Tanner can drift anything, and Rut is actually part Honda,
but neither one of them know anything about America's favourite sport.
So I brought them here for an education.
TANNER: So what are we doing here?
We're gonna play football.
RUTLEDGE: Football as the world knows it. Soccer here.
No, not soccer. We're playing football.
Ah, football Americano.
Don't make it sound like a cup of coffee.
You know, I liked football, but then they just started changing cities and stuff.
I can't keep up with it any more.
-You can't keep up? -No.
-Ever since the Oilers left Houston, you were out. -Yeah.
Gentlemen, do not worry. I made it so even you two can understand it.
Football.
With cars.
RUTLEDGE: How is that possibly gonna work?
This is gonna be great!
-Is that my Saab? -Yeah!
-That you ruined? -Yeah!
ADAM: I was gonna play quarterback,
with a football-launching air cannon
mounted on my old Trans Am.
Rut and Tanner would be my running backs and receivers,
and would have to drive into position and catch the ball.
And to make sure Tanner and Rut got a real taste of football,
we'd compete in a game against a local demolition derby crew,
on a standard 100-yard football field, complete with uprights.
RUTLEDGE: Why do you get to be the quarterback?
ADAM: Because you throw like a girl.
You completely destroyed a perfectly good Saab.
That was a 150-mile-an-hour car.
I made it better, don't worry about it.
So you're gonna fire footballs with an air cannon at us in cars with no windows.
And a fishnet on the roof.
Brilliant, isn't it? Let's just practise, okay?
Do we have to wear a cup?
-You don't need one. -Okay. Then I'm just gonna get in my car.
I'm wearing one anyway.
ADAM: It was time to go through some plays,
and get used to playing football from behind the wheel.
All right, fellas. We'll start easy with a couple of pass plays, all right?
We'll keep everything nice and simple.
Rut, you're gonna line up slot left, give me a crossing pattern,
I'm gonna pump-fake it, look the safety off.
Tanner, you go straight up the sideline,
I'm gonna hit you with a back-shoulder fade about 10 yards up.
How do you start these things? What do you say?
Do you say "hike" or something?
I work with morons.
Okay, we're gonna go on three. When I say "Hut-hut-hut," the third "hut," you guys go.
-All right? -Okay.
ADAM: All right. You ready?
RUTLEDGE: I guess so.
(GROANS)
Blue 38! Blue 38! Kill, kill, kill!
-Hut-hut-hut! -That's it!
Well, they got that right.
Now all that was left to do was to launch the ball into one of their nets.
I'm open! Throw it!
Did it go? Where did it go?
It was a little tricky, but we'd get the hang of it.
Omaha! Kill, kill, kill!
Hut, hut, hut!
There we go. That's it.
Shoot it!
And, now!
TANNER: Get in there!
Aww.
Hut-hut!
TANNER: Get in there.
I can't see anything!
Is this ever gonna work?
It doesn't feel like it.
I saw it shoot, and I thought it might even come to the net.
Pick up the ball and bring it back here.
I can't reach it. Hold on.
This play is called "retriever."
This is where you pick up the ball and bring it back.
RUTLEDGE: Oh, come on.
They're idiots.
But they're my idiots.
I got it! I got the ball! Yay, sports!
Gimme the ball.
I see why people love sports so much. This is exhilarating.
Are you excited? You're gonna play.
Put me in, coach. I'm ready.
ADAM: Practise didn't go as well as I'd hoped,
but the opposition was ready and it was time to play.
Our opponents lined up, a team of Utah's finest demolition derby drivers.
And they turned up hungry.
For blood.
There were five of them, so to even the sides
we recruited two locals to be our offensive line.
It's game time. Put your game faces on.
That's not your game face. Looks like you're passing a stone.
Grr. What should a game face look like?
Anything but that.
Let's do it!
Are you ready for some football?
They take the field!
This was it. The coming-together
of two of the greatest inventions in human history.
Cars and football.
Our gametime would be 30 minutes.
We'd won the coin-toss and would get the ball first.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
Even though we had failed to complete a pass in practise,
I wasn't gonna let that discourage me,
so I told Rut to block, and Tanner to go long.
Blue Pontiac! Blue Pontiac! Hut, hut, hut!
Oh! Oh!
RUTLEDGE: Tanner started to showboat with a 360.
It confused the opposition, but it blinded me.
Oh, I can't see it. Where is it?
But, he managed to clear a way and race toward the end zone.
ADAM: Okay, gotta line it up.
I'm open! I'm open!
ADAM: I had a clear shot to Tanner.
But he cut right, instead of left.
(GROANING)
How did we do? Did we score?
Incomplete.
It was second and ten.
All right, fellas. On three.
Since completing a pass was clearly beyond us,
it was time to try something different.
Ten-thirty! Ten-thirty!
Hut, hut, hut!
Tanner ran some interference.
And Rut was off.
Go, Rut, go!
I'm blocking! I'm blocking! Get over here, Rut! Come on, Rut!
RUTLEDGE: All right. Okay. Yeah, block that guy for me.
Block... Oh!
Oh!
ADAM: Coming up, I get Tanner's attention.
Tugboat style.
(AIR HORN BLASTING)
Holy...
ADAM: Due to some creative blackmail,
Top Gear had given me control of the show.
How is that possibly gonna work?
This is gonna be great!
I was taking advantage of it to prove to Tanner and Rut
that cars could be used for more things than burnouts and drag races.
Are you ready for some football?
Go, Rut, go!
Now, Rut was trying to smash his way towards the goal line...
Block that guy for me!
...through one of Utah's finest demolition derby teams.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, here it goes!
That's it, Rut, first down! Good running!
First down! Yeah!
Our team's offence was coming together,
and we made it to the red team's 45-yard line.
F-430! F-430!
RUTLEDGE: Adam started shouting random things.
Hut, hut, hut!
Oh yeah! Yeah!
ADAM: It was time to try a screen pass.
That should pass it.
Good God! What the (BLEEP)?
Go! Go! Go!
TANNER: I got it!
It fooled everyone, and Raceboy was off,
with some fancy wheelwork...
Oh (BLEEP) Oh, he shoots it!
...and some blind luck, Tanner took it to the house.
TANNER: Yeah! Touchdown!
Yeah, baby!
Oh yeah! Touchdown celebration!
Line up for the extra point.
To enable us to kick an extra point,
I had constructed a genius catapult,
based loosely on what I saw in the movie Spartacus.
Adam, you got this. Let's go team, go team!
On first. Hut, hut, hut!
Oh, he missed it!
ADAM: But, we were still in the lead, 6-0.
Now it was time for some defence, and Tanner seemed to like the idea.
Let's crash into some (BLEEP)!
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 17's moving. Oh, God!
17, Tanner, 17!
Get him, get him, get him, get him!
Watch the fake. Don't buy the fake.
RUTLEDGE: I got 17. I got 17.
ADAM: Damn it. 17 doesn't have the ball. 82's got it.
Oh. Oh, there it is!
I got him!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(SPITS) Yeah!
The red team managed a first down with ease,
and now they were inside the 20.
Keep them from scoring a goal.
Going for the sack.
Don't take that the wrong way.
RUTLEDGE: Oh. Oh, oh. Oh! Oh, hey!
Hey! Why are they coming after me?
It's a sweep.
RUTLEDGE: We're not even on the field!
ADAM: While Rut was on the receiving end of what seemed like unnecessary roughness...
What are you guys doing?
...the red team's quarterback sneak worked.
ADAM: Rut, what happened?
RUTLEDGE: I don't know. I got thrown into next week!
Damn it.
Now the red team could take the lead by making the extra point.
But not if I could help it.
(GRUNTING)
I couldn't help it.
They made that.
We were down by one, and it was time to get serious.
Hut, hut, hut!
As the seconds ticked away...
Yes!
Hut, hut, hut!
...our cars were falling apart.
Oh, look at that!
Hut, hut, hut! Run your route, baby!
I'm ready!
We marched downfield for another touchdown...
Touchdown! Who the man? Who the man? I'm the man!
...but missed the extra point again.
Our opponents pushed back hard...
(LAUGHING)
Come on! Come on! Come on!
...scoring another touchdown.
Ah, damn it!
And making their extra point.
ADAM: You guys suck!
So with two minutes left, we were down 14-12.
Damn it!
We had time for one last drive,
so we called a time out, and huddled up.
Here's what we're gonna do. Rut, this is you.
-Okay. -All right. Tanner, this is you.
This is me. We're gonna go right up the A-gap.
You're gonna push your guy this way. You're gonna push your guy this way.
And I'm gonna blow right through the A-gap.
When you say push, you mean just crash from that direction?
Yeah. Yeah, you push your man that way, you push your man that way,
and I'm gonna go right up the middle. And break.
ADAM: This was it. Death or glory.
All right, Adam, I'm ready to smash stuff. Let's do it!
ADAM: Ten-thirty! Ten-thirty!
Hut, hut, hut!
ADAM: Come on, make a gap!
TANNER: Go, Adam!
Somehow, Rut and Tanner had got it right.
ADAM: Yes!
It looked like this might actually work.
TANNER: He's through the hole!
(STRAINING)
TANNER: Get in there! Go on! Go on! Go!
I was out of bounds, just short of the goal line,
but at least, I'd got the first down.
Yes!
With 45 seconds left on the clock, it was first and goal.
Hut, hut, hut!
RUTLEDGE: I was the designated receiver,
and this play had "hero" written all over it.
Get open, baby. Get open.
RUTLEDGE: All right, Adam! Hit it!
ADAM: There it is!
Oh! Aww.
Unbelievable, he overshot it.
ADAM: I still believed.
It was second and goal, and I was gonna send Rut on the same route.
Hut, hut, hut!
I'll block for you! Do it.
Come on, Rut. Come on, Rut!
That's it.
Go left! I'm in the end zone!
Hit me, I'm open! I'm open!
Oh!
It was now third and goal, with 15 seconds left on the clock.
No one would ever expect us to run the same play again.
Hut, hut, hut!
Come on, Rut. That's it, get open.
Throw it! I'm open! I'm open!
Oh, my God!
Our passing game was non-existent.
With only two seconds left on the clock, it was decision time.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
As team captain, I decided our best chance to win
was to kick a long field goal.
But, I had a problem.
ADAM: Tanner?
-Yo. -My front end is shot.
It's dangling in front. You're gonna have to kick this.
Yeah!
-All right? -I'm on it.
Put it right through the uprights. I'll keep 'em off your back.
Let's do this.
Let's go.
What happened to your car, man?
My front end is shot. Tanner's gotta kick this field goal.
I was nervous.
Tanner's instinct is to drift sideways wherever he goes,
but here, he had to line up straight, and split the uprights.
Blue 42!
Blue 42!
Yellow team rocks! Hut, hut, hut!
Come on!
Coming up, I pile the misery on Tanner...
-(HONKING) -Out of the way!
Fire!
Oh, God!
...as I test my brand new concept car.
(LAUGHING)
ADAM: I had seized control of Top Gear,
and the first thing I did was drive my dream car.
This is a friggin' race car!
The Ford GT40.
Blue 42!
Now, we were in the final seconds of a game I invented,
car football.
Blue 42!
Since my car was falling apart,
Tanner had to kick the game-winning field goal.
Hut, hut, hut!
Come on!
-Yeah! I got it in! -Yes! Yes!
Yeah! In your face!
In your face! Not in our house!
Uh-huh! Uh-huh! That's what's up!
High five! High five!
That was a high five.
-(ADAM LAUGHING) -That's what I'm talking about!
How great was that?
Oh, that was so good!
-Do we... Do we have to hug? -Yes we do.
-Oh, good. -Come on!
That's why you like crashing cars so much.
-Yes! -That was honestly the best part.
Yeah, I felt like I channelled you through whatever that was.
Did you have fun?
-(SIGHING) Yeah. -Did you have fun?
I did.
Gentlemen, that is car football.
After football, what do you usually do?
-Beer. -Yes, indeed. You're buying!
ADAM: Okay. I'll get the first round.
-Really? -Yes.
ADAM: Driving the GT40 and playing car football
may have been two of my most epic ideas,
but they certainly weren't my only ones.
For decades, automakers all over the world
have been designing amazing concept cars,
but the main problem with them is that most never make it into production,
and they fail to address the biggest issue facing drivers today.
Other drivers.
Let's be honest. Everyone else on the road besides you is a moron.
So I have made a concept car that is all function.
No flash whatsoever.
It's sole purpose is to use cutting-edge technology
to deal with all these morons.
And I took it to Long Beach, California to test it out.
Every automotive innovator needs a laboratory.
And every laboratory needs a monkey.
Oh. Here's mine now.
(TANNER WHOOPING)
Nice spot you've got picked out here.
Yeah, I figured you needed the room.
(SIGHS) So what am I doing here?
We are making history, my friend.
I have built a concept car to improve driver happiness,
and you are gonna help me test it.
-Really? -Yeah.
-You notice you're driving this? -Yeah.
You like your 5 Series? I picked it out personally,
because I wanted to keep it all scientific.
'Cause, you know, most BMW drivers are... Well, they're ***.
You know that I own a BMW.
-Finish your story. -Okay.
I have my top four things that this car is gonna combat, but we're gonna start with
people who think that their time is more important than yours.
At number four are people using their cell phones while driving.
You ready?
Right here.
Distracted drivers are four times more likely
to get into accidents than anyone else.
My solution?
All right, Tanner. Now you drive away,
and make a phone call to someone in your harem or something.
I don't have a harem, and okay,
I do actually need to make a phone call, so I'll make one.
All right. Go ahead.
He's got a harem.
(AIR HORN BLASTING)
Holy... Good God, Adam.
-I'm... -(AIR HORN BLASTING)
Be careful! You're gonna hit an iceberg!
Ow! I'll call you back.
-(AIR HORN BLASTING) -I'll call you back.
ADAM: Land ho!
(LAUGHING)
Look at him cackling back there.
TANNER: Adam's first invention had been effective.
Highly dangerous and illegal, but effective.
You know, you could blow out an eardrum with that.
ADAM: As soon as Tanner could hear again,
we moved on to the third most annoying thing other drivers do.
Cutting in on the right.
Here he comes. Here he comes.
Here he comes.
Driving along, having a good time, and...
I'm gonna pass.
Really? A friggin' sign?
What an idiot.
(LAUGHING)
A sign's not gonna do anything.
What Tanner didn't realise was the sign wasn't my only deterrent.
I also had a paintbomb.
Woah!
Holy (BLEEP)!
(ADAM LAUGHING)
I can't see a friggin' thing, Adam! That's your idea?
(LAUGHING)
TANNER: I was starting to see that Adam's way of dealing with other drivers
was to eliminate them from the road...
(LAUGHING)
...so he could hog it all to himself.
-You're gonna kill somebody! -No, I'm not.
I couldn't see anything, I've got paint all over my clothes,
my car's completely freaking toast now.
That's what's supposed to happen.
ADAM: My anti-cut-in avoidance device was a triumph.
Next in, at number two on my list of other things annoying drivers do...
All right, Tanner. Let's go.
Tailgating.
That's it. There you go. Try and get closer.
And for this, I had created a very special, one-of-a-kind...
Out of the way!
...squid gun.
Go ahead. A little closer.
TANNER: Yeah, get outta the road!
Fire!
Oh, God!
What the...
(LAUGHING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING) It's friggin' squid.
It's a squid!
Yes! Yes!
He's completely lost it.
He's officially lost his mind.
TANNER: (GROANS) Oh, do you smell that?
-No. -It's so nasty.
Yes.
-Oh, my God. -(LAUGHING)
Oh, my gosh.
Let me ask you a question. Will you ever tailgate me again?
-No. -Science!
We were now at my number one annoyance.
People who drive slow in the left lane.
There he goes. Look at him.
He's got no care in the world. Nothing.
As much fun as it was to watch Tanner drive slowly,
there was more to come.
Now, these people must be branded.
So he passed me.
Okay, big deal.
(LAUGHING)
It works!
I don't get it.
I mean, so, you passed the slow guy.
Big deal.
It is a big deal.
You've been branded, so you will not affect others in the same way.
TANNER: ***? What's an ***?
It's a rally driver that drives a 5 Series BMW
and doesn't know anything about pop culture since 1992.
It's not a bad idea.
Out of all your ideas, this one's the best one.
ADAM: Yeah!
I wonder if I can get one of these on a Porsche.
(ADAM LAUGHING)
ADAM: My time in charge of the show had come to an end,
and I had gotten to do exactly what I wanted.
-Yeah! -Yes!
Tanner and Rut could rest assured that those compromising photos
would never be revealed.