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*general crowd noise*
Attention!
The Santa Barbara Film Festival, screening of local films...
...is sold out!
*complaints from crowd*
The theatre is full.
If you do not have a platinum pass, please move along.
I can't afford a platinum pass!
Man, you hardly let anybody in!
Yeah!
Yeah!
I repeat...
...if you do not have a platinum pass, you will not be getting into the theatre.
I came from Buellton, man...
I have been here for hours, sir!
Who made you in charge? That's what I wanna know!
*buzz*
I've. Got. A.
Megaphone!
Pointin' in your face!
I've got a megaphone!
'cause I run the place!
I've got a megaphone!
You're standin' in the street
Admit defeat,
'cause you've got no seat.
I'm the director's girlfriend!
And you ain't getting in!
I'm an actor. I'm the star!
Sign an autograph on the way to your car!
I came from Goleta, man I'm kicked!
Back to your trailer, you *** hick!
I don't like the way we're being treated.
Let me repeat it: you've got no seat!
It's a megaphone!
And it's super loud!
It's a megaphone!
And I'll disperse the crowd!
It's a megaphone!
You're not getting past,
No platinum pass, you can kiss my ***!
I bought a ticket, it cost ten bucks!
You're shZZZT out of luck, go back to your truck.
My son's the director, I came from out of state!
Jerk should've bought you a laminate.
It was four o' clock when I got here.
Thank you. Come again next year.
I'm friends with Roger, he and I are down.
You and every bull in town!
It's a megaphone!
You didn't make the cut!
It's a megaphone!
So I'm up your butt,
With my megaphone!
You don't stand a chance!
Now watch me dance in my tacky pants!
Dang dang a-ding-a-ding-a-ding ***!
*** dang a-dingadong dingadong!
Ding dang a-*** dang a ding dang!
Ding dang ding dang diddly-ding dang! (This is terrible!)
*** dang a-ding dang a-ding ***!
*** *** a-long a dang ding-a-dang!
Ding dang a-ding *** a-ding dang!
*** dang *** dang diddly ding dang!
*instrumental*
Hey there ladies in the candy stand!
Megaphone, megaphone! He's our man!
You want some pepsi and some Red Vines?
No I'm too busy shouting at these fools in line!
Megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
*crowd shouting*
I've got a megaphone!
*crowd shouting*
I've got a megaphone!
*crowd shouting*
I've got a megaphone!
*crowd shouting*
I've got a megaphone!
*crowd shouting*
I've got a megaphone!
*crowd shouting fades out*