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Synced and correctedy by: Katniss Everdeen
Listen, Tyler, I got a call from
your teacher, Mrs. Brockman,
and apparently, you are getting
a "D" in your English class.
Yes, I've been trying
to get on the D's list.
I think you mean Dean's list.
That's for people who get A's.
I know. I'm talking
about the list I started
for people who feel left out
because they don't get A's.
What good is school if you
can't feel good about yourself?
Okay.
Look, Mrs. Brockman and I discussed it,
and we came up with a way for
you to bring up your grade.
Please don't say homework.
I like to keep my home life
and my work life separate.
Can't you respect that?
After years of acting in the
Shakespeare in the park festival,
they asked me to direct the play othello.
- They couldn't get anyone else, could they?
- No, they could not.
The point is, Mrs. Brockman said
that if you perform in my play,
she'll bring your grade up.
Come on, Tyler, it'll be good for
ya, and a chance for us to bond.
- You couldn't get any guys to be in your play, could you?
- No, I could not.
And if you don't do this, I may be forced
to play all the male roles myself.
Hang posters all over your school
of me in tights saying, "Come see
Tyler's dad " - Okay, I'll do it.
- Couldn't think of a way out, could you?
- No, I could not.
Okay, I think these street racing movies
have pretty much run out of vehicles to use
when they start doing
hot air balloon chases.
I don't know. That last
crash was pretty exciting.
No!
Bonk.
What does Avery see in this guy?
Charming, unassuming personality, kind
eyes and smile that lights up a room.
Blah! Blah!
Come on, Stan. Every time
Wes and I are together,
you try to wedge yourself between us.
You're right. He's in the way.
Let's do with him what we
did with last week's trash,
up until the point where
I ate last week's trash.
I'm not eating him.
I can't wait till we go to
Shakespeare in the park together.
Me, too.
Finally someone smart I can talk
about the plays with afterward.
Totally. But just so you know,
I love Shakespeare so much,
it leaves me speechless,
so you'll be doing most of the talking.
I should be going.
Oh. Parting is such sweet sorrow.
I was trying to think of a way to
say good-bye and you just nailed it.
Oh, wait, that was Shakespeare, right?
- Of course.
- Look at us.
Talkin' about him already.
- See ya.
- See ya.
Ugh! That display between
the two of you was disgusting.
I just threw up a little in my mouth,
which I enjoyed, so thank you.
Stan, what's up with you? You've
been down on Wes for weeks.
There's just something off about that guy.
I can't quite put my finger on it.
That's because nothing is off with
him, and you don't have any fingers.
Don't I?
I've been keepin' this foam finger close by
for over a year waiting for that moment.
Totally worth it.
Avery's so crazy about that guy,
but Wes really rubs me the wrong way.
Literally. Believe it or not,
there are incorrect ways to pet dogs.
That's not petting. That's just
What is that?
Why would you do that?
I did it! I did it, mommy.
I made my own bed every day for a month.
So now I get my own rock star
rabbit game on your tablet
just like you promised.
I don't remember promising that.
If you make your bed every day for a month,
you'll get your own rock star rabbit
game on my tablet. I promise.
That's not my voice.
"I will not deny that that's
my voice. Ellen Jennings."
You can't keep track of anything.
How did you hold onto that for a month?
I taped it to my person.
- Your body?
- No, my person.
As soon as this bar loads, you can play.
Yes! Rock star rabbit and I are
gonna collect so many carrots.
Lucky, you just do what you want.
I wish I could just work on my novel
that's right, I'm secretly writing a novel
about a woman who's an
average housewife by day,
but a secret novelist by night.
Her name is Helen.
- Perhaps I've said too much.
- No, don't stop.
Thanks, hon, I love your
enthusiasm for the concept.
But I'm not gonna have
time to work on my novel
once your father asks me
to help him with his play.
He always asks me, and I always say yes.
- You know why?
- 14 carrots!
Ha, I wish!
I help him because I love him.
I just hope this year, he
decides he doesn't need my help.
I just hope this year, she
doesn't insist on helping.
This play is my thing,
but she always wants to
get in on the action, and then I gotta
find some busywork to keep her happy.
- You know what she needs?
- Another life!
I wouldn't go that far, Chloe.
No, I just have to offer her some small
task and hopefully, she'll say no.
So you wanna fluff the ruffles
on the costumes for the play?
Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?
This is a crazy game.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hey, Stan, what's going on?
Actually, I need you to say, "what's up?"
I had this whole thing
worked out where you say,
"what's up?" And I say, "something big."
So go ahead.
Okay. Fine. What's up?
Nothin' much. Ah, dang it.
Anyway, I just spent the day
following Wes around. Don't
worry, he didn't recognize me.
I was in disguise.
Nothin' to see here, folks.
Just a dog at the park lookin'
for a little pickup game.
Played some college
ball, came off the bench.
Don't wanna intimidate anybody.
In retrospect, the b-ball duds may have
attracted more attention than I wanted.
Or maybe it was this.
Maall day, Avery, d more
attenall day.N I wanted.
Anyhoo, I think you'll find
everything you need to know in here.
I can't believe you spied on Wes.
What were you thinking, Stan?
There's nothing even incriminating
about these photos. - Oh, yeah?
What about that one of
him ordering a sandwich?
What about it?
He mispronounced mayonnaise.
You'll have to take my word on that.
You know what, Stan,
you're wasting my time.
When are you gonna realize
that Wes is a really good guy?
Wait a minute. Who's
this he's sitting next to?
Just some attractive mystery girl
he was talking to for a few hours.
Now check out the next one.
He's steppin' on a crack.
Does he not even care
about his mother's back?
What is going on here?
He can't be with another girl.
He's my boyfriend. I'm
gonna go talk to him.
Good. And while you're there,
please tell him there's no
such thing as "maynnaise."
If you don't know, just say Mayo, dude.
If you are, like, so
fond over her iniquity,
give her patent to offend, for
if it, you know, touch not you,
it comes near nobody, yo.
Don't normally take a bow
in the middle of the scene
among many other unique choices, yo.
I kind of like this acting thing.
I know. Isn't it exhilarating,
connecting across the centuries
with the mind of a brilliant author?
No, I just meant it combines
my two best skills looking
good and being outside.
Hey, Wes.
What you been up to all day?
Just reading some Shakespeare.
So you've just been sitting here alone?
All alone. Just me and
my boy, Billy shakes.
Oh, really? Then who's this?
How did you get these?
Never mind that. Who's
this handsy little strumpet?
Okay, fine.
She was teaching me about Shakespeare.
I was embarrassed to tell you that I
don't know as much about this as you do.
I didn't want you to think I was
stupid when we saw the plays together.
Listen, I have fake tutored to get
close to a guy I like don't ask
so I know how these things go.
Why did she have her hands on your heart?
She was just showing me how the
iambic pentameter rhyming scheme
mimics the heartbeat.
It does do that.
Wait, this all makes sense now.
You went through all of this
trouble just to impress me?
Aw, that is so romantic.
Shall we talk about what you learned?
Avery, you spied on me.
I don't think I can be with
someone who doesn't trust me.
Stop telling me what to do.
You're not the boss of me.
Stan, wake up.
Oh! Hey, Avery.
I was just having that dream
where you were the boss of me,
and I was totally cool with it.
Do you have any idea what just happened
between Wes and me at the park?
Yes, I was sort of there.
I didn't wanna make the
same mistake as last time,
so this time, I went as a golfer.
You completely ruined
things with Wes for me.
I don't know if you're jealous,
or what your problem is.
My problem is, if I keep splitting
my time between basketball and golf,
I'll never get good at either one.
Robert, grab my clubs.
We're going to the driving range.
I'll tell you why I bother practicing.
Because someday, I'm gonna
have a drink named after me
that's half lemonade, half toilet water.
Now come on!
So, getting your lines down?
Yep, I got 'em all down,
on the back of this kid
who stands in front of me in act two.
Is that why instead of going
where I directed you to,
you just kept following
him around the stage?
That, and he smells like waffles.
Look, Tyler, acting is not
just about learning the lines,
or writing them down on people.
It's about understanding how
the character thinks and feels.
Your character, lago, succumbs to jealousy.
Or, as Shakespeare called
it, the green-eyed monster.
You see, he used words
in new and inventive ways.
I get it.
It's like how I call
tacos crunchy meat boats.
Yes, son, you are the
Shakespeare of your generation.
The point here is that
lago was jealous of othello
which led him down a very dark path.
Avery said I was jealous.
See, it's jealousy that causes people
to hurt those that they care about.
I care about Avery, and I hurt her.
But I would've known if I had done that.
But they often don't
know they've done that.
That's me!
I'm jealous of Avery's
relationship with Wes.
Gotta make things right.
Pick up my ball, Robert.
Guess you won't be teaching me life
lessons using golf as a metaphor today.
It all makes so much more sense now.
It's not just a bunch of words
I'm reading off waffle's back.
You're really taking this seriously.
Proud of you, son.
Thanks, dad.
I didn't know working
with you would be so cool.
I don't know if I can express
how much that means to me.
We both know you can, so
let's get it over with.
Get it in here.
Well, I got all the ruffles
fluffed for your father's play.
Jump through the hoop.
Exactly. You get it.
I need to get back to my secret novel.
Helen's found the hidden chamber
inside the heart of the public library.
And she's not alone.
Let's hope your father doesn't
dump any more work on me.
I'm gonna have to dump more work on her.
She fluffed all the ruffles.
That was supposed to keep her
busy for the rest of the week.
- Now I'm gonna have to find something else for her to do.
- You can do it, rock star.
Well, I do what I can to make her happy.
So I finished the ruffle fluffing.
Thank you so much.
So I don't suppose you
want something else to do.
Sure, if you want.
Print the programs?
Age them, roll them all into scrolls?
That's the perfect use of my time.
Ugh, trapped in a maze and can't get out.
What do you want?
Avery, I realize that Wes is a
good guy, and I was just jealous.
I'm really sorry, but I
think I may have fixed it.
Hi, Wes, it's Avery's cousin.
Uh Iago.
Yeah, that's my name.
Iago?
It's Gaelic.
It means nothin' weird goin' on here.
So anyhoo, I'm calling to tell you Avery
had nothing to do with those photos.
I took them because I'm
very protective of her.
And just so there's no hard feelings,
I can cut you a deal on a couple of 8x10's,
some wallet-sized, maybe a button.
The holidays are coming up.
Did he believe you?
At first, yes.
And then you kept talking.
Avery, please, I'm telling this story.
So anyway, then I kept talking.
So I'll take three buttons, the 8x10,
and a picture of me on the cover
of sports hero magazine.
That's one of my biggest sellers.
So I'll get all those to you
next time you're over here.
Over where?
You know, at Avery's.
You're staying at Avery's?
I'm over there all the time,
and she never mentioned you.
What's going on here?
So you made him suspicious?
Don't worry. I invited him over
so we can talk it out in person.
- Stan, why would you
- Shh.
Trust your dog.
So when I come over, I can't see you
'cause you're gonna be in a full-body
cast from a hot air balloon chase
just like the one Avery and
I recently saw in a movie.
Yes. That is exactly what I just said.
Full-body cast from head to tail toe.
Toe to tail. Head to tail.
Whoa, how'd it get back there?
For some reason, that last thing
made him even more
suspicious. But don't worry.
We'll clear it all up
when he's over here tonight
to see me in my full-body cast.
What?! Why would you invite
him to come over tonight?
I couldn't have him come over now.
I'm not in a full-body cast yet.
Use your head, Avery.
- Stan, I
- Shh.
Well, that's 300 scrolls.
They'll be lucky if 60 people
show up, but it's fine, it's fine.
Up, down, up, down.
You're right, I'm like
a puppet on a string.
Dance, Pinocchio, dance.
Left, right, left, right, left, right.
All right, Chloe, you made your point.
No need to belabor it.
I'm just gonna tell your father
that I can't help him anymore.
I need to get back to my novel.
When we last left Helen, she was encaged
in the zoo after having been mistaken
for a panda and I need to rewrite that,
because it's incredibly stupid.
I can't believe your
mother finished all these.
This has gotta be like, 300.
We'll be lucky if 60 people show up.
If another musical note drops from
the sky, the drawbridge will open.
You're right, Chloe. I should just
tell her I don't need her help.
- I can't help you anymore.
- I don't need your help anymore.
You really get
me. I love you so much.
Ew, gross!
Chloe, that's not a very nice thing to say.
I think she's talking to the game.
No. No, I am not.
When Wes comes to meet lago hey,
that's the name of my character
not important.
We'll need a full-body
cast laying on the bed
while Stan talks from under the bed.
So to make the plaster cast, I just
need to use your body as a mold.
Only if I can fill it
with grape juice after,
and put it in the freezer to make a
life-sized Tyler pop. Yeah, that'll work.
Oh, and I have to be at the play in the
park tonight, or I'll let dad down.
Not a problem. I'll cut you out in
plenty of time to make it to the play.
And do I still get the
life-sized Tyler pop?
Well, this whole plan is built on a
foundation of lies, so sure, why not?
Sweet.
What's taking so long? The
play's gonna start soon.
I thought these clippers would
be strong enough to cut it.
Avery, if you don't get me outta here
right now, I'll never forgive you.
Tyler, you let a 14-year-old girl
put you in a full-body cast.
Shouldn't you really
be more mad at yourself?
Well, I got all Wes' pictures.
He went for the
back-to-school package,
but I'm only charging
him for the value pack.
See, that's how you build repeat business.
Avery, that's my phone. It's probably
dad calling. Will you answer it?
I could, but I'm kind of
in the middle of something.
- Bigger fish.
- Sharks, tuna, grouper.
Why would you ask me that?
Don't we have more important
things to deal with?
Oh, cool, are you making Tyler pops?
I heard this might be happening.
Get me out of this stupid cast.
And someone please answer my phone.
You got Chloe.
That's how they talk on TV.
Chloe, where's Tyler?
He's one of the most
important people in the cast.
I think he's the only person in the cast.
Well, he may feel that
way. I need to talk to him.
He can't, he's trying
to get out of the cast.
Chloe, he's probably just nervous.
Tell Tyler he'll do fine in this cast,
and even better in the next one.
Tyler, daddy says when
you get out of this cast,
he's gonna put you in another one.
Oh, man, he's really mad
at me for not being there.
Tell him it's not my fault.
He should blame the person
who put me in this cast.
He said you should blame the
person who put him in the cast.
I thought it would be good for him.
I guess I see how it would
keep him out of trouble.
Just tell him I'm sorry.
I really thought he had the acting itch.
Daddy's sorry you had the itch.
I didn't have an itch before you said
it, but now it's all I can think about.
So itchy.
Your attention, please.
Tyler is not coming.
I will be playing lago.
Waffles, I need you to stay close to me
so I can read my lines off your back.
My gosh, Wes is here.
You have to stay in the
cast until he leaves.
I'm not playing along.
I'll make noise, I'll say things,
I'll tell him I'm not really lago.
If you blow this for me, Tyler
pops will never be fully realized.
They'll remain a beautiful, life-sized,
ice-cold purple apparition
that taunts you from afar.
Curse me for daring to dream big.
Wes, this is my cousin lago.
Wow, guess you weren't
lying about the body cast.
Of course I wasn't lying.
Who would lie about being in a body cast,
or being a photographer, or being human?
Not this guy.
Okay, so how did this really happen,
'cause I know it wasn't
in a hot air balloon chase.
No, of course not.
He just tells people that because what
really happened was too embarrassing.
You know how people slip
on banana peels in cartoons?
That is what he did.
I was watching one of those cartoons, and
I laughed so hard, I fell off my roof.
Well, there you have it.
You're probably wondering
why I was watching cartoons
- on the roof.
- Nobody's wondering that.
It's the only way I can
see my neighbor's TV.
And that explains everything.
You see, my TV broke in
a hot air balloon chase.
Really?
Okay, Avery, I think I
see what's going on here.
- You do?
- Your cousin is a loon.
No, I'm not.
A loon is a Canadian bird.
I'm an American human.
- Ow!
- Sorry.
Ow!
I think I just have to accept
if I'm gonna be with you,
that crazy things are gonna happen.
Would you? That would
make things so much easier.
So I'll meet you at the
park later for the play.
Ah, don't forget your pictures.
Tell your friends.
Your face on a throw pillow.
Perfect for grandma.
I'll see you at the park.
And I'll take two pillows.
I've got two grandmas.
I'm really sorry about everything, Avery.
I don't know how I let my
jealousy get the best of me.
Don't worry, Stan.
No boy is ever gonna replace you.
Yeah, that's real nice, but I've
got bigger problems right now.
I have no idea how to put photos on
pillows and two memas are counting on me.
You've got problems? The play
is gonna start any minute.
I have to get out of here.
Tyler, wait. We'll get
dad's tools from the garage.
That'll work, too.
When you care about someone,
you have to trust that person.
And if it's someone like Avery,
or in Bennett's case, Tyler,
they'll come through for you.
Yep, Tyler made it to the play in time.
And Bennett won rave reviews for
his radical reimagining of lago
as a ghost.
Tyler even got his Tyler pop.
Although someone ate the head.
And Chloe really came through for Ellen
When she needed help with her novel.
Helen is stuck on a
snow-covered island in Finland,