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(trolley bell dings)
WHAT IS SAN FRANCISCO'S STYLE, COOKING-WISE?
(Anthony) THE STEREOTYPE LEADS YOU TO BELIEVE
THAT IT'S REALLY CRUNCHY OUT HERE.
YOU'RE GONNA SEE A LOT OF VEGETABLES, HIPPIE CHEESES,
ARTISANAL SALUMI,
AND THAT'S TRUE.
BUT THERE IS A STRONG, POWERFUL, DEEP,
TRADITIONAL UNDERCURRENT OF, LIKE, LIQUOR AND MEAT
AND JUST DIRTY, NASTY BEHAVIOR.
TO SAN FRANCISCO.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I WENT FOR SOMETHING SO TOURISTY AND CHEESY
AND I REALLY WENT FOR IT.
♪ 24 HOURS TO GET BACK TO YOU ♪
YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE THE CLAM CHOWDER BOWL
DOWN AT FISHERMAN'S WHARF.
THERE'S A LOT MORE TO SEE AND DO IN SAN FRANCISCO,
AND YOU CAN REALLY GET A FEEL FOR THE NEIGHBORHOODS
PRETTY EASILY, AND I THINK ONE OF THE BEST THINGS YOU CAN DO
IN SAN FRANCISCO IS EAT AND DRINK.
SO WELCOME, TOURISTS, BUT, UH, TRY SOMETHING ELSE
BESIDES THE GUIDE BOOK OF RECOMMENDATIONS.
♪♪
♪ WHOA ♪
(Anthony) IF LOS ANGELES IS THE KING OF LOW-END EATERIES
AND NEW YORK DOMINATES WITH ITS SHEER NUMBER OF HIGH-END,
THEN SAN FRANCISCO IS UNDISPUTED CHAMPION
OF THE MIDDLE.
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
IT SEEMS LIKE ANYWHERE YOU WALK IN OFF THE STREET
IN SAN FRANCISCO,
THEY'RE DOING PROUD, CREDITABLE, CAREFUL WORK
AT REASONABLE PRICES.
(woman) THANK YOU.
THERE ARE TWO MAJOR AIRPORTS--
SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL AND OAKLAND INTERNATIONAL.
THEY'RE BOTH AROUND 30 MINUTES OUT
FROM THE CENTER OF THE CITY.
I TOOK A CAB, BUT YOU CAN TAKE THE BART,
BAY AREA RAPID TRANSIT, IF YOU WANT--
FAST, EASY, AND INEXPENSIVE.
GOOD MORNING.
HELLO. CHECKING IN FOR BOURDAIN.
WELL, I'VE MADE IT TO SAN FRANCISCO...
AND THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME CONFUSION ABOUT MY RESERVATION.
CHECKING IN FOR BOURDAIN, PLEASE.
WELCOME, MR. BOURDAIN.
B-O-U-R-D-A-I-N.
LOOKS LIKE YOUR ROOM IS READY.
GREAT.
WELL DONE. THANK YOU.
ENJOY YOUR STAY.
ALL RIGHTY.
A MOMENTARY LAPSE BY MY PRODUCERS, NO DOUBT.
IN THE END, I FIND MYSELF COMFORTABLY INSTALLED
WITH GREAT DIGS TO SLEEP IN.
HOTEL *** THAT I AM,
I'M FOND OF THE FAIRMONT ON *** HILL--
BIG, OLD,
BUILT IN 1907 WITH LOADS OF HISTORY,
LOTS OF CHARACTER, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
A TIKI BAR IN THE CELLAR.
CHEAPER BY FAR IS THE HOTEL DES ARTES
IN SAN FRANCISCO'S MINI FRENCH QUARTER--
INDIVIDUALLY PAINTED AND DECORATED ROOMS
FROM UP-AND-COMING LOCAL ARTISTS.
STAY THE NIGHT IN THE UNABOMBER SUITE.
THE SMALL, WINDOWLESS WORKS-OF-ART ROOMS
ARE CURATED BY A NEARBY GALLERY.
BATHROOMS ARE SHARED,
WHICH MIGHT EXPLAIN THE LOW, LOW PRICES,
BEGINNING AT 59 BUCKS.
DAY ONE, AND I DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO DAY ONE IN SAN FRANCISCO--
STRAIGHT OFF, I'M THINKING SHELLFISH
AT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES ANYWHERE.
ALSO, I'M CATCHING UP WITH AN OLD FRIEND--
CHEF, RESTAURATEUR, LEGEND, ROLAND PASSOT,
OWNER/CHEF OF LA FOLIE
AND MORE CASUAL GROUP OF BRASSERIES
THE LEFT BANK.
CAN I SLICE...
A MASTER OF ALL THINGS FRENCH,
HE'S BEEN LIVING AND WORKING HERE FOR 24 YEARS.
(chuckles) CHEF.
(chuckles) HEY. HEY.
HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
READY FOR BREAKFAST?
READY FOR BREAKFAST. I LIKE GOOD BREAKFAST LIKE THIS.
ARE WE GRABBING A TAXI?
I THINK WE WALK.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN SAN FRANCISCO.
SAN FRANCISCO AT ITS BEST IN THE SUMMER.
HEY, MAN, HOW ARE YOU?
MORNIN'.
WATCH THE SHOW ALL THE TIME.
THANK YOU.
(woman) MR. MAN.
WHAT'S UP?
YOU SHOULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT.
THAT'S THE WORST JOB IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.
NO KIDDING, HUH?
PLUS, I WOULDN'T STAND UP TO THE INVESTIGATION.
(laughs)
LOOK AT THIS.
HERE WE ARE.
IT'S ALL ABOUT FRESH.
SWEET.
JUST A FEW BLOCKS FROM MY HOTEL,
SWAN OYSTER DEPOT IS BOTH LOCAL LANDMARK
AND A PERSONAL ONE,
SERVING UP RAW AND COOKED AWESOMENESS
FOR ALMOST 100 YEARS.
IT'S CASUAL WITH ONLY ABOUT 20 STOOLS AT THE COUNTER
AND A "FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED" SEATING POLICY,
MEANING GET THERE EARLY,
'CAUSE THERE'S, LIKE, ALWAYS A LINE.
(Roland) GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.
HEY, GOOD TO SEE YOU. GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
GOOD SEEING YOU.
GOOD TO SEE YOU. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
HOW YOU DOING, NEIGHBOR?
OH, I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
THIS IS REALLY ONE--LIKE, A STATION OF THE CROSS FOR ME.
EVERY TIME I COME TO SAN FRANCISCO,
EVEN IF I'M EATING ON CAMERA, LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES,
I TRY TO FIND A MOMENT TO SNEAK IN HERE
AND SHOVE FOOD IN MY FACE.
IT'S ALL ABOUT FRESH HERE. EVERYTHING IS SO FRESH.
IT'S--IN A LOT OF WAYS,
FOR ME, IT'S THE PERFECT RESTAURANT.
YOU EAT AT A COUNTER. IT'S TOTALLY DEVOID OF (bleep).
THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES TO EAT IN AMERICA.
WE DO NOT HAVE THE PERCENTAGE
OF GOOD MIDRANGE RESTAURANTS THAT YOU GUYS DO.
YOU'RE MUCH MORE LIKELY, I THINK,
IF YOU JUST STAGGER IN BLINDLY INTO A PLACE IN SAN FRANCISCO
TO GET A REALLY GOOD MEAL.
(man speaking indistinctly)
OH, THAT IS JUST-- THAT'S PERFECTION.
THIS IS ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREAT THINGS.
FIRST UP THIS STUFF-- CRAB FAT,
THE RICH, DELICIOUS MIX OF CRAB FAT AND CRAB ROE
THAT COLLECTS IN THE CARAPACE.
MOP THAT (bleep) UP WITH FRESH SOURDOUGH BREAD,
AND LET ME TELL YOU, IF GOD MADE ANYTHING BETTER,
HE KEPT IT FOR HIMSELF.
IT'S JUST THE NECTAR OF THE GODS.
IT IS THE NECTAR OF THE GODS.
MMM. MMM.
WHY DO YOU THINK
MOST RESTAURANTS GET RID OF THAT?
MADNESS.
BEST BREAKFAST IN TOWN.
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
BUT LET'S SAY YOU'RE A COFFEE NERD, AN AFICIONADO.
THE BEST IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
WELL, JAVA JUNKIE, BLUE BOTTLE COFFEE
AT MINT PLAZA IS FOR YOU.
HANDCRAFTED, ARTISANALLY PRODUCED,
A $20,000 MACHINE
THAT MAKES THE SIPHON-STYLE COFFEE
YOU CAN MOSTLY FIND ONLY IN TOKYO.
OH, AND THERE'S FOOD, TOO,
LIKE MOREL-POACHED EGGS
AND EURO-STYLE SANDWICHES.
ME, I'M HITTING THE OYSTERS HARD.
THEY HAVE A SELECTION.
(man) BLUEPOINT FROM MASSACHUSETTS.
KUMAMOTO FROM HUMBOLDT BAY, CALIFORNIA.
*** BAY MIYAGI-- BRITISH COLUMBIA.
AND A LOCAL FROM, UH, DRAKES.
LOOK AT THOSE SEA URCHINS.
AND FINALLY, ANOTHER PASSION OF MINE--
SEA URCHIN.
OH, WOW.
(Roland) YEAH, THERE IS-- I WANT TO--
LOOK AT THAT. NO, PLEASE, HAVE SOME.
I DON'T KNOW WHY SO MANY PEOPLE ARE SO AFRAID OF SEA URCHIN.
MMM.
WHOA.
THIS IS REALLY ONE OF THE-- JUST THE--
THE GREAT INGREDIENTS.
THE FRESHEST. I MEAN, THIS IS SO CLEAN AND SO FRESH.
LOOK HOW BIG THEY ARE.
YOU DON'T WANT TO WALK ON THAT SUCKER. (laughs)
BAD.
SO WHAT ARE THE EVERYDAY THINGS IN SAN FRANCISCO
THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, YOU KNOW, THAT MAKE YOU SAY,
"YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GLAD I LIVE IN THIS CITY"?
MANY PEOPLE TAKE IT FOR GRANTED, BUT CROSSING EVERY DAY
THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.
YOU KNOW, AND SOMETIMES IT'S FOGGY.
SOMETIMES IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
SOMETIMES THERE'S JUST THE FOG ROLLING OVER THE BRIDGE.
IT'S JUST LIKE, WOW,
I LIVE HERE IN SAN FRANCISCO.
I LIVE IN A PLACE WHICH IS FULL OF MAGIC.
I GO TO THE FARMERS' MARKET ON THURSDAYS,
AND I GET MY STRAWBERRIES
FROM A BEAUTIFUL GIRL CALLED, UH, BRIANNA--
GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS STRAWBERRIES,
I MEAN, SOME OF THE BEST STRAWBERRIES I'VE TASTED.
OR EDDIE, THE BIG MEXICAN FARMER
WHO GIVES ME HUGS WHEN I COME TO THE MARKET.
AND, UH, "OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TODAY?
"YOU KNOW, I HAVE THAT TYPE OF PEACHES
OR THAT TYPE OF NECTARINES."
YOU KNOW, THAT IS PART OF THE HAPPINESS OF LIVING HERE,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THERE-- THERE'S A CONNECTION.
THERE'S A CONTACT.
TO SAN FRANCISCO...
TO SAN FRANCISCO.
GREAT AND NOBLE CITY,
AND TO, UH, SWAN OYSTER DEPOT.
TO SWAN OYSTER DEPOT.
(man) THANK YOU, GUYS.
BYE-BYE TO ROLAND
AND INTO A CAB AND OFF TO TWIN PEAKS.
THIS LOOKOUT AT THE GEOGRAPHICAL CENTER OF TOWN
IS WHERE THE BEST VIEW IS.
AS IF I REALLY GIVE A (bleep) ABOUT VIEWS, RIGHT?
'CAUSE I DON'T.
B-MOVIE REVIVALS WOULD BE MORE OF MY THING,
IF I WASN'T STANDING AROUND UP ON A FREAKIN' HILLTOP,
LOOKING AT THE (bleep) VIEW.
THE CASTRO THEATRE HOSTS REVIVALS,
FOREIGN, AND INDIE FILMS
AND, I'M TOLD, THE OCCASIONAL SING-ALONG.
I WON'T BE GOING TO THAT ONE.
I'M HEADED DOWN TO THE LOWER HAIGHT.
THE HAIGHT DISTRICT IS MADE UP OF TWO PARTS--
UPPER HAIGHT STARTS AT GOLDEN GATE PARK
AND INCLUDES THE INFAMOUS CROSSROADS
OF HAIGHT-ASHBURY.
AS YOU MAKE YOUR WAY EASTBOUND ON HAIGHT STREET,
YOU EVENTUALLY START HEADING DOWNHILL
AND END UP AT, YOU GUESSED IT, THE LOWER HAIGHT.
DAYTIME DRINKING IS A TRADITION HERE,
AS IT IS IN ANY GREAT CITY.
MY BIGGEST ADVICE TO YOU
WHEN YOU COME TO DRINK IN SAN FRANCISCO,
IS WHEN YOU ORDER A DRINK AT THE BAR, HAVE YOUR MONEY READY.
KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DRINKING. AND WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T TURN AROUND OR WAVE MONEY. WE DON'T LIKE THAT.
THE TORONADO BAR IS A GOOD PLACE
FOR ME TO START MY DAY,
KNOWN MOSTLY FOR BEER,
OF WHICH THEY STOCK 50-PLUS MICROBREWS
AND ABOUT 100 BOTTLE BEERS.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
THEY BOAST A "NO GRATEFUL DEAD" POLICY ON THE JUKEBOX,
WHICH ENSURES ME THE PEACE OF MIND AND SPIRIT
I NEED TO GET A LATE-MORNING BUZZ.
MAN, THIS PLACE IS (bleep) BUSY FOR THIS TIME OF DAY.
WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE DO FOR A LIVING,
THAT YOU CAN DRINK BEER HERE AT, UH,
WHAT--WHAT DAY OF THE WEEK IS IT?
TUESDAY.
IT'S TUESDAY AT-- COMING UP ON 1:00.
A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE RIGHT NOW ARE INDUSTRY PEOPLE,
SO THEY WORK LATER ON, YOU KNOW...
(speaking indistinctly)
OH, SO IT'S LIKE RESTAURANT--
YEAH, TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY IS MY WEEKEND.
WELL, THAT SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU
WHEN IT'S INDUSTRY PEOPLE WHO MAKE UP
A SIGNIFICANT PART OF YOUR CROWD.
THERE ARE TWO OTHER PLACES YOU COULD CHECK OUT--
ZEITGEIST BAR AND PIER 23 CAFé.
THE ZEITGEIST IS A BEER GARDEN WITH A JUKE LOADED
WITH WORK FROM LOCAL BANDS,
HUGE BACK PATIO FILLED WITH PICNIC TABLES.
THE REGULARS ARE OFTEN BIKE MESSENGERS
AND LOCALS ONLY.
IF THE WEATHER'S NICE,
PIER 23 MIGHT BE WHAT YOU NEED.
AVOID THE TOURISTAS AND SLOW-MOVERS
AT FISHERMAN'S WHARF
AND GET YOUR VIEW HERE.
WHEN YOU TRAVEL AROUND,
YOU DON'T LIKE TO DO, IT SEEMS LIKE, THE TOURISTY THING.
SO, LIKE, SAN FRANCISCO'S A TOURISTY CITY.
WHEN YOU COME HERE, WHAT-- WHAT ELSE WOULD INTEREST YOU,
IF YOU WERE TRAVELING HERE AS A TOURIST?
UM, I WOULD GO TO THE ZAM ZAM ROOM.
I WOULD GO TO HOUSE OF PRIME RIB.
I WOULD GO TO SWAN OYSTER DEPOT.
SWAN.
YEAH.
OH, THOSE DUDES--
OH, YOU GOTTA POST UP THERE EARLY,
OR YOU'RE WAITING IN LINE, THOUGH.
WHERE WOULD-- WHERE WOULD YOU GO SEE?
YEAH, WHEN--WHEN MY FRIENDS COME OUT HERE,
IF THEY WANT TO GO TO FISHERMAN'S WHARF OR WHATEVER,
THEY CAN DO THAT ON THEIR OWN.
BUT I TRY TO TAKE 'EM TO THE OFFBEAT PLACES.
YOU KNOW, EVEN JUST TAKING A DRIVE OUT OF THE CITY
A HALF-HOUR UP NORTH INTO MARIN OR SONOMA,
YOU GOT A WHOLE NOTHER WORLD OF NORTHERN CALIFORNIA.
AFTER A FEW BEVERAGES,
IT'S OFF TO MEET CHRIS COSENTINO,
CHEF/OWNER OF INCANTO,
THE PIONEERING OFFAL-CENTRIC RESTAURANT
IN THE NOE VALLEY NEIGHBORHOOD.
CHRIS AND I MEET AT TO HYANG IN THE INNER RICHMOND.
THIS IS A SUPER-FUN SPOT.
I MEAN, WE COME HERE 2:00 IN THE MORNING.
IT STAYS OPEN LATE.
HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT IT?
I USED TO LIVE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
I USED TO LIVE TWO BLOCKS DOWN.
AH.
HWA-SOON IM IS A KOREAN WOMAN FROM SEOUL
WHO GATHERS HER OWN HERBS, MAKES HER OWN BASE SAUCES,
AND PUTS UP HER OWN KIMCHI AND PICKLES
IN A FERMENTATION SHED OUT BACK OF HER RESTAURANT.
AND WE THOUGHT WE WERE DOING COOL STUFF?
THIS WOMAN'S GOT US, HANDS DOWN, DONE.
SHE'S, LIKE--SHE'S TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
WHAT IS--WHAT ARE THESE? THEY'RE CHEWY AND DELICIOUS.
OH, IT'S CLAMS.
WOW.
AND YOU SHOULD SEE, SHE FERMENTS HER OWN FISH IN THE BACK, TOO.
THAT'S CRAZY.
IT'S NOT--YOU DON'T SEE THIS ANYWHERE.
IS THAT LEGAL?
I DON'T KNOW. (laughs) I HOPE NOT.
IT'S SOMETHING THAT--
WHOA.
WHOA.
IT'S A LOT BIGGER TODAY THAN USUAL.
OH, MY GOD, YOUR MOM WENT FOR--
YOUR MOM WENT FOR THE GUSTO. HOLY COW. (laughs)
FIRST UP, FISH HEAD CURRY.
OKAY.
OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS THING.
IT'S JUST COMPLETELY AMAZING.
SHE'S--
SHE DOES NOT HOLD BACK.
I COULD, OF COURSE, HAVE GONE TO, SAY,
THE KING OF NOODLES
OR THE OFF THE GRID FOOD TRUCKS.
AT KING OF NOODLES, THE THING TO EAT IS THE WONTONS
AND OF COURSE, NOODLES MADE FRESH IN HOUSE.
OFF THE GRID TRUCKS ARE A ROAMING TRIBE
OF DELICIOUS FOOD OPTIONS.
UNLIKE MANY UNENLIGHTENED CITIES WHO CRACK DOWN BRUTALLY
ON THEIR MOBILE ENTREPRENEURS AND FOOD TRUCKS,
SAN FRANCISCO HAS CREATED AN ENVIRONMENT
WHERE SMALL, INDIVIDUALLY OWNED AND OPERATED BUSINESSES
SERVING HEALTHY, DELICIOUS, FAST,
AND AFFORDABLE FOOD CAN THRIVE,
THEREBY PROVIDING AN AFFORDABLE ALTERNATIVE
TO THE SCOURGE OF TRADITIONAL FAST-FOOD CHAINS.
BUT I'M HITTING THE HOMEMADE GINSENG SOJU HARD
AT TO HYANG
AND THE FISH HEAD.
(Chris) WHEN SHE BROUGHT THIS OUT TO ME THE FIRST TIME,
I-I MEAN, YOU-- IT'S, LIKE,
SUPER ROCKET FUEL.
WHOO.
THAT'LL DO YA.
(laughing)
WHAT IS SAN FRANCISCO'S STYLE COOKING-WISE?
WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHAT DOES IT IMPLY
WHEN YOU COME OUT HERE?
BECAUSE I MEAN, THERE'S THE CLICHé,
AND THEN THERE'S THE REALITY.
I MEAN, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW,
SAN FRANCISCO MAY BE CHEZ PANISSE,
BUT IT'S ALSO HOUSE OF PRIME RIB.
THAT'S TRUE.
PEOPLE ARE ALL ABOUT LETTING YOU BE WHAT YOU ARE,
WHO YOU ARE, AND NOT REALLY--
NOT JUDGING YOU FOR IT.
RIGHT.
AND I THINK FOOD-WISE, IT GAVE YOU THE OPPORTUNITY
TO REALLY--I-I TREATED THAT MENTALITY
WHEN I CAME HERE IN THAT SAME WAY.
COME ON,
IT'S A 35-MINUTE RIDE TO BRILLIANT WINE.
LISTEN, YOU--
YOU HAVE OYSTERS 20 MINUTES AWAY.
THAT'S MAGIC.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAD 11 MILLION MORE PEOPLE HERE,
EVERY CHEF IN NEW YORK WOULD BE OUT HERE.
THAT'S IT.
THEY'D ALL BE BANGING ON THE DOOR,
BEGGING TO LIVE HERE. OH, MY GOD LOOK AT THAT.
YEP. THIS IS THE PORK BELLY.
THAT IS PRETTY, TOO, ISN'T IT?
HOLY CRAP, LOOK AT THAT.
OH, WOW.
UNBELIEVABLE.
MMM.
WOW.
YOU KNOW, JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT PORK BELLY WAS OVER.
OH, YOU KNOW, IT IS NEVER OVER.
OH, MY GOODNESS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO US NOW?
HUH! OOH.
WHAT IS THIS?
(woman) THIS ONE IS DATE.
MMM, SO IT'LL BE A LITTLE SWEETER?
YEAH.
THANK YOU.
IT'S GONNA BE A ROUGH NIGHT.
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
IF I HAD ONE OTHER TIP FOR TOURISTS HERE
OTHER THAN NEVER TO SAY "FRISCO" OR "SAN FRAN,"
I WOULD SUGGEST THAT PEOPLE DEFINITELY DRESS IN LAYERS
WHEN THEY COME HERE.
THE WEATHER CAN CHANGE FROM ONE MINUTE TO THE NEXT.
AND WEAR GOOD WALKING SHOES, 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE DOING
A WHOLE LOT OF WALKING IN THE CITY.
CHRIS AND I CONTINUE OUR JOURNEY
INTO A TAXI BACK TO THE HOTEL.
AHH, TO THE TONGA ROOM, MY GOOD MAN.
(man) HOW COME YOU DON'T MAKE AN EPISODE
OF FOOD FOR THE GAY PEOPLE?
(Anthony) FOOD FOR GAY PEOPLE-- JUST FOR GAY PEOPLE?
GAY PEOPLE.
LIKE, UH, LIKE--LIKE WE HAVE THE CASTRO DISTRICT, YOU KNOW?
YEAH, BUT I MEAN,
DO GAY PEOPLE EAT DIFFERENTLY THAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE?
LIKE, UM...
WELL, THEY HAVE SOME... YOU KNOW,
LIKE, SOME--SOME-- SOME RESTAURANTS,
SOME BARS, LIKE...
JUST--JUST GAY.
JUST GAYS, YOU KNOW? SO I THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA...
AH, DO THE GAY SHOW.
FOR MOST OF THEM. YEAH, THAT'D BE NICE.
(Chris) THE BIG GAY--
I LIKE IT. IT'S CREATIVE.
YEAH.
IT COULD BE CRAZY, COULD BE FUN,
AND IT WOULD REALLY FREAK OUT THE NETWORK. IT WOULD BE--
OH, HUGE.
AND THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
NO, BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE CONSIDERED UN-P.C.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? THERE'S--RIGHT.
SO IT WOULD BE PERFECT.
PART OF SOMEONE'S...
RIGHT. I'D HAVE TO GET WARDROBE FOR THIS SHOW, THOUGH.
I WOULD DEFINITELY HAVE TO DRESS FOR THIS SHOW.
DO YOU WANT A BALL GAG?
(scoffs) I'D DEFINITELY-- I'D WANT A--
I WON'T EVEN ASK.
I'D WANT A GOOD JACKET AT LEAST, YOU KNOW?
THIS IS A BEGINNING FOR YOU. WE'LL FIND SOME.
I MIGHT HAVE ONE OF THOSE ACTUALLY IN MY CLOSET SOMEWHERE,
YOU KNOW, '70s.
THE--THE LINE WAS A LITTLE FUZZIER.
CHRIS AND I ARE HEADED TO A SPECIAL PLACE,
A MAGICAL PLACE--
THE TONGA ROOM, THE GENUINELY FABULOUS
TIKI BAR *** POLYNESIAN RESTAURANT
IN THE CELLAR OF THE FAIRMONT HOTEL,
CONVENIENTLY CLOSE TO MY ROOM.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN--
HOLY CRAP.
(laughs) I TOLD YOU.
IT'S...
I-I WASN'T KIDDING.
LIKE, THIS IS IT.
I MEAN, THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL POOL FOR THE HOTEL,
AND THEY TURNED IT INTO THIS BAR.
THEY'RE HITTING THE BUFFET?
THEY'RE NOT (bleep) AROUND.
THE SHIP'S MAST AND SAIL.
MM-HMM.
THIS IS--
THIS IS COMPLETELY, COMPLETELY AWESOME.
WE NEED--
HERE YOU GO.
(thunder rumbles)
IT'S RAINING.
WHA--WHA--WHA--
(laughing)
WHAT'S GOING ON?
(thunder rumbles)
OH, YEAH.
(laughing)
YOU KNOW, THAT'S STRANGELY SOOTHING.
YOU KNOW, I HEAR THE RAIN. I HEAR THE THUNDER.
I-I KINDA NEED A HUG, CHRIS.
(laughing)
(laughing)
THE INDOOR RAIN SHOWERS AND THUNDER--
AWESOME, RIGHT?
THE STAGE THAT FLOATS OVER THE POOL,
JUST WAITING FOR, LIKE, DON HO TO SING "TINY BUBBLES."
THIS IS, LIKE, THE GREATEST PLACE
IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
AND THEY POUR A STIFF DRINK.
YOU DON'T DRINK, LIKE, SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS HERE, MAN.
IT'S GIRL DRINKS WITH UMBRELLAS AND (bleep),
AND YOU DRINK THEM PROUD.
I NEED THE SKULL.
IT'S THE BORA BORA HORROR.
I NEED--I ABSOLUTELY GOTTA DRINK OUT OF A SKULL.
YEAH, I DON'T WANT TO DRINK OUT OF A COCONUT.
IT'S REALLY ALL ABOUT WHAT GLASS YOU'RE DRINKING IT OUT OF,
FOR ME.
YEAH.
GOOD EVENING, GUYS.
WE'VE GOT A BIT OF A SURPRISE FOR YOU FIRST.
(laughing)
WE HAVE A LAVA BOWL FOR FOUR,
EVEN THOUGH THERE'S ONLY TWO OF YOU.
(bleep)
(Chris) OH (bleep).
YEAH.
OKAY, TONY...
ENJOY.
THANK YOU, SIR.
(Chris) IS THIS SO WE DON'T, LIKE,
UH, CONNECT PHYSICALLY?
RIGHT. YOU DON'T WANT TO-- WHAT'S THE--CROSS SWORDS,
I BELIEVE THEY CALL IT?
(slurping)
OH, YEAH.
I THINK I'M GOING BLIND AS WE SPEAK.
I HAVE REALLY--ONLY ONE WORD CAN SUM UP THIS EXPERIENCE--
COWABUNGA.
(laughs)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER ANOTHER DRINK?
HOW ARE WE DOING ON THE LAVA BOWL?
IN--IN--
IN SPITE OF ALL ESTABLISHED NOTIONS
OF GOOD SENSE,
I WOULD LIKE A BORA BORA HORROR...
MM-HMM.
AND A ZOMBIE, IF YOU PLEASE.
AND A ZOMBIE? OH, MY GOD.
I THINK I'M GONNA DO A SINGAPORE SLING.
PERFECT.
IMMUNE TO THE CHARMS OF A NONEXISTENT SOUTH PACIFIC?
YOU COULD GO TO ALEMBIC BAR INSTEAD,
WHERE OFF-DUTY OR PRE-SHIFT BARTENDERS AND SERVERS,
CHEFS, BEER LOVERS OF ALL STRIPES
HEAD FOR A HIGH-QUALITY DRUNK.
THERE'S A TINY MENU WITH ESOTERIC BUT DELICIOUS CHOICES,
LIKE PICKLED QUAIL EGGS
AND JERK-SPICED DUCK HEARTS.
(Chris) I MEAN, TO ME, THIS IS THE ORIGINAL,
IT'S THE QUINTESSENTIAL, IT'S THE PERFECT--
I TELL EVERYBODY THAT COMES TO SAN FRANCISCO
THEY HAVE TO (bleep) GO HERE.
RIGHT.
YOU--YOU DON'T EXPERIENCE THE UNIQUENESS
OF SAN FRANCISCO...
YOU KNOW WHAT?
BECAUSE ALL THE G.I.'s THAT CAME BACK
CAME THROUGH HERE.
I MEAN, I GREW UP WANTING TO SEE THE SOUTH PACIFIC.
I BOUGHT THIS BIG-TIME-- EVERY CHINESE RESTAURANT,
EVERY CHINESE, POLYNESIAN--
I-I--TO ME, IT MADE ME WANT TO GO TO THOSE PLACES.
SO IN A LOT OF WAYS, PLACES THAT LOOKED LIKE THIS
BACK IN THE '60s WHEN I GREW UP
LED DIRECTLY TO WHATEVER THE HELL I AM--
I'M DOING FOR A LIVING NOW.
IT MADE ME WANT TO TRAVEL.
OH, YEAH.
A SINGAPORE SLING, SIR.
THEY DON'T DRINK 'EM IN SINGAPORE, BY THE WAY.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
TO DON HO.
TO DON HO.
MAY HE REST IN PEACE.
(laughing) CHEERS TO THAT.
YOU WILL BE MISSED,
GENTLE WARRIOR,
HAWAIIAN ELVIS.
(glasses clink)
(laughing)
OH, THAT'S LETHAL.
EVERY AMERICAN NEEDS THIS.
I-I SEND EVERYBODY HERE.
BECAUSE IF YOU'VE GOT NO LOVE IN YOUR HEART FOR THIS PLACE,
YOU ARE A SICK, TWISTED, LONELY (bleep)
WITH TOO MANY CATS.
BY THE TIME I LEFT THE TONGA ROOM,
IT WAS DARK.
I'M DRUNK AND STICKY,
REEKING OF COCONUT AND MARASCHINO CHERRY JUICE.
(blows whistle)
THOUGH SIZZLED ON MAI TAIS
AND GOD KNOWS WHAT OTHER KIND OF TROPICAL SKULL DRINKS,
I HAVE PLANS TO MEET MY OLD FRIEND OSCAR
AT A POP-UP CALLED RICE PAPER SCISSORS.
HOW ARE YOU, BROTHER?
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? AH, GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.
I'M GOOD, MAN.
"POP-UP" MEANS JUST WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE...
SO WE'RE RIGHT HERE.
A JOINT THAT POPS UP
ANYWHERE IT CAN
FOR A FEW HOURS OR DAYS, THEN MOVES ON.
WHEN THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT POP-UP, THEY'RE NOT KIDDING.
NO, THEY'RE NOT.
KATIE KWAN AND VALERIE LUU
ARE THE DUO KNOWN AS RICE PAPER SCISSORS.
AND THEY'RE DOING A GOOD AND HEARTFELT JOB
TRYING TO RE-CREATE THE STREET FOOD OF VIETNAM
IN SAN FRANCISCO.
WOW, THIS--
IS THIS AN APPROVED FOOD PREPARATION FACILITY?
(woman) IT'S A METAL WORKSHOP.
THIS IS NOT EASY. I KNOW FROM MY CATERING DAYS.
WHAT DROVE YOU TO DO THIS?
I DON'T KNOW, I FIND IT REALLY GRATIFYING.
I FIND THAT BRINGING VIETNAM TO SAN FRANCISCO
IS SOMETHING THAT HASN'T BEEN DONE BEFORE.
I'M A FIRST GENERATION VIETNAMESE-AMERICAN.
MM-HMM.
SO I WAS BORN HERE, BUT MY WHOLE FAMILY--
MY GRANDMA, MOM, DAD, EVERYONE IS FROM VIETNAM.
AND, UM, THIS IS MY WAY TO CONNECT WITH MY CULTURE.
THIS WOULD NEVER--IN NEW YORK, THEY'D SHUT YOU DOWN...
REALLY?
SO FAST.
BECAUSE THE LADY ACROSS THE STREET
WOULD--WOULD COMPLAIN.
BUT THE THING ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO
IS THAT IT IS COMPLETELY ABOUT
OPTIMISM AND OPPORTUNITY.
IT'S--IT KIND OF ASKS, "WHY NOT?"
YOU WANT A TABLE TO SIT DOWN AT AND STUFF,
MAYBE A MORE CONVENTIONAL OPTION FOR YOUR DINNER,
YOU SHOULD CERTAINLY GO TO ROLAND'S PLACE LA FOLIE
OR THE SOMEWHAT LESS TRADITIONAL
MISSION CHINESE FOOD.
MISSION CHINESE FOOD IS THE BRAINCHILD
OF DANNY BOWIEN AND ANTHONY MYINT
AND IS ANOTHER PLAY ON THE POP-UP.
BUT THIS ONE IS SITUATED IN AN ACTUAL EXISTING RESTAURANT.
LUNG SHAN IS AN UNREMARKABLE CHINESE JOINT IN THE MISSION,
BUT IT BECOMES MISSION CHINESE FOOD
FOR MUCH OF THE WEEK.
THIS IS DANNY'S HOME RESTAURANT,
WHERE HE SERVES UP HIS TAKE ON CLASSIC CHINESE RECIPES
AS WELL AS SOME OF HIS OWN.
HIGHER END? SOME MIGHT SAY LUXURIOUS?
LA FOLIE. SOME CALL IT THE HOUSE OF FOIE GRAS,
SINCE NEARLY EVERY DISH SEEMS TO CONTAIN
SOME OF THIS LUSHLY FATTY, DELICIOUS ORGAN OF THE GODS.
DECIDEDLY UNSTUFFY, BUT STILL FINE DINING
SERVING THE GOOD FRENCH STUFF YOU WANT AND NEED.
TONIGHT, THOUGH, I'M DOING SHRIMP CHIPS
AND BANH MI SANDWICHES.
LOOK AT THAT.
'CAUSE THE BREAD FOR BANH MIS--
YOU KNOW, IT'S A MAJOR THING.
AND JUST ABOUT EVERYBODY GETS THAT WRONG.
THIS IS JUST RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
THIS IS LIKE IN VIETNAM.
YOU SEEM TO HAVE DRAGOONED OTHER PEOPLE
INTO DOING A LOT OF THE HEAVY LIFTING.
AND WE ALSO HAVE VOLUNTEERS HELP US PREP, TOO.
WAIT A MINUTE,
THEY VOLUNTEER?
YEAH, THEY VOLUNTEER THEIR TIME.
YOU DON'T PAY 'EM?
WE DON'T PAY THEM.
IS THIS--IS THIS A BUSINESS OR A PERFORMANCE ART?
BOTH.
I VOLUNTEER WITH A LOT OF MY FRIENDS.
ARE YOU SERVING YOUR COMMUNITY,
OR ARE YOU IN BUSINESS?
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE CREATING A COMMUNITY.
YEAH.
I WOULD BE LOOKING AT THIS FROM THE GET-GO
AS I'M BUSTING MY ***,
*** (bleep) AROUND IN MILK CRATES AND CARS,
DRIVING OUT TO BUY THIS STUFF, WORKING ALL MONTH...
U-HAUL VANS.
I AM GOUGING THESE (bleep) HIPSTERS
FOR EVERY DOLLAR I CAN SQUEEZE OUT OF 'EM.
BUT DID YOU THINK...
PAY UP, SOCK-HEAD.
YOU WERE GONNA HAVE YOUR BOOK--
DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GONNA HAVE YOUR BOOK PUBLISHED
WHEN YOU WERE WRITING IT?
NO, UH...
DID YOU?
I WROTE A SHORT ARTICLE-- NO, BASICALLY. NO.
NO. SO WHAT, WERE YOU DOING PERFORMANCE ART,
OR WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
I WAS LOOKING TO MAKE MONEY.
SO WERE YOU LOOKING TO MAKE MONEY?
WHAT WERE YOU DOING IT FOR?
HEY, YOU GOT A POINT. YEAH, YOU GOT A POINT.
UH-OH.
SEE?
I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD READ IT.
I READ IT. I READ IT.
I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD READ IT.
I-I WROTE IT, AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE IT
BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WAS GONNA READ THE DAMN THING.
SO YOU'VE MANAGED TO PUT THIS IN A PERSPECTIVE
THAT EVEN I CAN UNDERSTAND. THANK YOU.
YEAH.
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA,
IS THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD.
WE ARE TREATED SO GREAT HERE.
WE HAVE THE HIGHEST MINIMUM WAGE IN THE COUNTRY.
IT'S A GAY-FRIENDLY TOWN.
SO IF, UM, YOU'RE INTO THAT, THAT'S FINE.
BUT YOU KNOW, NO ONE BOTHERS YOU ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
I, UM, WAS NOT BORN HERE,
BUT I WILL CERTAINLY DIE HERE,
BECAUSE I AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE ELSE.
IT GETS UGLY FROM HERE IN A GOOD WAY,
'CAUSE SAN FRANCISCO IS TRULY
ONE OF THE COUNTRY'S BEST DRINKING TOWNS,
MAYBE THE BEST.
WHY? 'CAUSE OF PLACES LIKE THIS--
LI PO IN CHINATOWN.
AND NAMED AFTER LI PO, THE FAMOUS CHINESE POET
WHO DROWNED WHILE ATTEMPTING
TO EMBRACE THE RAYS OF THE MOON AS REFLECTED IN THE WATER.
IS THAT CORRECT?
YES.
YOU DID THE RESEARCH BEFORE YOU COME HERE?
OH, I'M WELL-ACQUAINTED WITH THE WORKS OF LI PO.
SAN FRANCISCO'S CHINATOWN IS THE LARGEST
IN NORTH AMERICA, WHICH IS A GOOD THING.
PLACES LIKE LI PO JUST WOULDN'T EXIST
WITHOUT A LARGE BUFFER ZONE ON ALL SIDES.
THE SPECIAL MAI TAIS ARE NOTORIOUSLY LETHAL HERE.
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
I COULD HAVE GONE TO BENDER'S FOR LATE DRINKS,
BUT THEY HAVE LIVE ROCK 'N' ROLL THERE,
AND THIS SHOW IS SO CHEAP-***
THAT WE COULDN'T AFFORD TO PAY THE MUSIC RIGHTS.
SO I MEET UP WITH AUTHOR/CHEF DANNY BOWIEN.
HEY, HOW ARE YA?
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? I'M DANNY.
DANNY, HAVE A SEAT, MAN.
COOL. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
HOW MANY OF THOSE HAVE YOU HAD? THAT'S THE QUESTION.
UH, NO, THIS IS MY FIRST.
OKAY. IS THAT A MAI TAI?
YEAH, IT'S THE...
THE INFAMOUS?
IS--IS IT?
SO TELL--TELL ME ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
MISSION CHINESE?
IT WAS THE FIRST POP-UP EVER.
IT WAS THE FIRST POP-UP IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD?
I WILL GO ON RECORD. I THINK ACTUALLY IT WAS.
AND THE PLAN WAS, "WE'RE GONNA TAKE OVER YOUR--
WE'RE GONNA TAKE OVER YOUR RESTAURANT..."
YEAH. YEAH.
"FOR ONE NIGHT..."
RIGHT.
"AND WE'RE GONNA DO REALLY (bleep) GOOD FOOD."
EXACTLY.
WHEN YOU WENT IN FOR TWO NIGHTS,
WHO WAS DOING THE FOOD FOR THE REST?
SO THEIR CHEF WAS STILL HERE.
THIS GUY MADE 140 ITEMS OFF THIS MENU.
BUT WAIT A MINUTE.
WHILE YOU'RE DOING THE POP-UP...
YEAH.
THE OLD CHINESE DUDE...
STILL MAKES DISHES FOR DELIVERY.
THAT IS COMPLETELY (bleep) AWESOME.
AND THAT WAS THE--
SEE, THAT IS REVOLUTIONARY...
AND THAT'S--RIGHT.
BECAUSE I WORKED IN A CHINESE KITCHEN
FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF. IT IS HUMBLING.
IT'S VERY HUMBLING.
IT IS HUMBLING.
HOLY (bleep), THESE THINGS ARE (bleep) LETHAL.
I TOLD YOU. WELL, I'M--I'M SLOW.
YOU WARNED ME.
YOU'RE--YEAH, I'M--I'M STOP-- I'M MOVING TO BEER.
HOW HAS CHINESE FOOD, UH, CHANGED--
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THIS WAS THE HOME OF--
OF SORT OF GLUEY, COMPROMISED...
YEAH.
I LOVE--
I-I ABSOLUTELY LOVE CHINESE FOOD,
BE IT GOOD OR BAD.
I MEAN, ON MY DAY OFF, I EAT AT, LIKE, PANDA EXPRESS.
BUT--BUT ARE YOU--
A SOGGY EGGROLL?
I KNOW. I KNOW. I DON'T CARE. I'LL EAT IT COLD.
WE BOTH KNOW THAT COLD CHINESE FOOD
IS SOMETIMES BETTER THAN, I THINK, HOT CHINESE FOOD.
NO, NO, NO, NO...
IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR. IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR.
COLD PORK FRIED RICE?
NOT GETTING IT COLD-- YEAH, OF COURSE, IT'S--
WHEN YOU'RE HUNG OVER? PLEASE.
YEAH, OR YOU'RE NOT EVEN GETTING A PLATE.
YOU'RE OPENING THE THING, AND YOU'RE EATING IT OUT OF THE--
GENERAL--
"GENERAL TSO'S" CHICKEN.
"GENERAL TSO'S." IT'S BETTER COLD,
BECAUSE THE-- SOMETHING HAPPENS.
YEAH.
IT GETS CRUNCHY AGAIN.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CRAPPY CHINESE DISH?
LIKE, REALLY, REALLY--
THE BEST--NO, THE BEST, LIKE--YOUR GO-TO
IF YOU'RE GOING TO, LIKE--
GO-TO.
THE ONE THAT YOU--
OH, I REALLY LOVE THIS QUESTION.
THERE'S A TON. THERE'S, LIKE, A LOT, THOUGH, RIGHT?
YEAH. UM...
IT'S COLD PORK FRIED RICE.
YEAH.
NO, BUT WHEN YOU ORDER IT.
OF THE--OF THE MAINS.
OKAY, SO OF THE MAINS, THE GENERAL--ALWAYS, RIGHT?
GENERAL TSO.
AND I DON'T CARE IF IT'S BAD GENERAL TSO.
IT DOESN'T MATTER. NO, OF COURSE.
I DON'T CARE HOW BAD IT IS.
I SUPPOSE I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED IT
IN A PLACE LIKE THIS.
THE PROPRIETOR TEMPTS US WITH A BAR GAME.
TOLD YOU, SEE?
WHAT IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW. YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.
(speaking indistinctly)
I SAW THIS IN-- IN MANY FILMS,
AND THE HERO ALWAYS LOSES WHEN HE PLAYS THIS.
THE NAME OF THIS GAME IS LIAR'S DICE.
NOW IF YOU'VE EVER PLAYED LIAR'S POKER,
YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH GUESS HOW THIS GOES.
FIRST, EACH PERSON SHUFFLES THEIR DICE
AND LOOKS AT THEIR ROLL.
THEN YOU PICK A HAND, SAY SIX 6s OR EIGHT 2s.
SIX 6s.
SIX 6s.
SEVEN DEUCES.
SEVEN DEUCES?
THE ACTION GOES AROUND, EACH PERSON EITHER CALLING
OR RAISING THE HAND.
I'LL GO SEVEN 6s.
IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE ON YOUR ROLL.
YOU'RE BASICALLY BETTING THAT YOUR OPPONENT
IS A LYING SACK OF (bleep), SO YOU NEED TO ACT ACCORDINGLY.
I'LL CALL.
ONCE EVERYONE HAS CALLED, THE DICE ARE REVEALED.
WHOEVER GUESSED THE HAND CORRECTLY WINS.
OH, I'M IN TROUBLE.
THE LOSER?
WELL, THEY'RE GROUND INTO DUST.
(laughs)
(woman) SEE?
I'M REALLY GLAD I DON'T LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO,
BECAUSE I WOULD BE HERE EVERY (bleep) NIGHT.
REALLY?
YEAH. YEAH.
WOW.
I WOULD BE HERE DRINKING AND DOING THIS.
♪♪
NEWLY SCHOOLED ON GAMES OF CHANCE,
WE HEAD TO THE NEXT BAR A FEW BLOCKS OVER.
DANNY SUGGESTS THE COMSTOCK SALOON.
COMSTOCK SALOON, EH? WHY ARE WE HERE?
WELL, THAT'S--I MEAN, IT'S A REALLY AWESOME PLACE.
NAMED AFTER SILVER MINING MAGNATE HENRY COMSTOCK
OF THE FAMOUS COMSTOCK LODE--
I SAW THAT FILM, I THINK.
ANCHOR STEAMS THERE.
THANK YOU, SIR.
OWNERS JEFF HOLLINGER AND JONNY RAGLIN
CAREFULLY CRAFT THEIR COCKTAILS,
BUT COMSTOCK IS AT ROOT A NO-NONSENSE OLD-SCHOOL BAR.
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
YES, SIR.
IT'S KIND OF AWESOME.
YOU ARE WEARING A TIE, SIR.
ABSOLUTELY.
WELL, WHERE IT'S BASED-- IT'S A HUNDRED YEARS OLD THAT
THAT WAS THE TRADITION IS THE BARMAN DRESSED UP.
SO COMSTOCK-- BUT THERE'S MR. BING'S
ACROSS THE WAY.
MR. BING'S IS CRAZY.
THAT'S--AND WHAT-- WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
DANNY, YOU KNOW-- SECOND-BEST BAR IN CHINATOWN.
YEAH.
THIS IS THE BEST RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS THE BEST.
TO SAN FRANCISCO.
(glasses clink)
FROM MY FIRST GLANCE AT ITS SIGN,
BECKONING ME FROM ACROSS THE STREET,
I KNEW THAT BETWEEN ME AND MR. BING'S,
IT WOULD BE LOVE.
OH, YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, SO, UH,
BEERS FOR MY FRIENDS.
HERE'S MY PROBLEM WITH SAN FRANCISCO.
(Danny) OH, WHAT'S THAT?
WHEN WE-- WHEN THIS SHOW AIRS,
YOU'RE GONNA--YOU'RE GONNA GET A LOT OF ANNOYING FOODIE
(bleep) BLOGGERS...
OF COURSE.
YEAH.
SURE, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
SAYING, "WHY DID YOU GO TO MR. BING'S?
YOU COULD HAVE GONE TO A MUCH..." YOU KNOW?
YEAH, RIGHT.
WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOTIC (bleep) FREAK
WOULD NOT LOVE THIS PLACE?
RIGHT, RIGHT.
THAT'S THE THING IS--
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. AND IF YOU CANNOT--
IF YOU CANNOT FIND IT IN YOUR HEART
TO--TO-- TO IMMEDIATELY RECOGNIZE
THAT THIS IS A FINE DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT...
YEAH, OF COURSE,
AS YOURS IS, AS LI PO IS,
THEN YOU KNOW WHAT? THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU.
YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT. YOU KNOW, I COME TO YOUR BAR.
I ORDER AN OLD FASHIONED. YOU'RE MAKING IT OLD-SCHOOL.
IT'S ALSO RESPECTING THIS, AS WELL,
BECAUSE THIS IS PART OF THE SAME TRADITION.
IT REALLY IS. IT'S A PART OF THAT DRINKING TRADITION,
THAT BAR TRADITION.
IT'S NOT JUST, "I'M SERVING YOU ALCOHOL."
THAT'S ALREADY A VERY INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP...
YEAH.
ALREADY. DEEPLY INTIMATE.
YEP.
THE BARKEEP/DRINKER RELATIONSHIP
IS A SACRED ONE,
LIKE WITH A DOCTOR OR A PRIEST.
SO I-IS A BARMAN LIKE A PRIEST OR A PSYCHIATRIST?
IF I BEHAVE BADLY AT YOUR BAR,
ARE MY SECRETS, UH, SAFE WITH YOU?
ABSOLUTELY.
ABSOLUTELY.
REALLY?
YEAH. THAT'S--
REALLY? REALLY?
SERIOUSLY, I MEAN, TO ME, THAT'S--
CAN I CHECK MY TWITTER FEED?
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
GOD, WHAT TO DO IN SAN FRANCISCO FOR 24 HOURS?
MOMA--LIKE, THE ART MUSEUM IS A GREAT PLACE TO START.
THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.
BASEBALL GAME IF THE GIANTS ARE IN TOWN.
GO AND GET SOME GARLIC FRIES.
YOU CAN ACTUALLY RENT A KAYAK
AND PADDLE OUT BEHIND THE BASEBALL FIELD.
UH, THAT'S SOMETHING THAT IS A ONE-TIME EXPERIENCE
THAT YOU'LL REMEMBER FOREVER IF YOU'RE IN SAN FRANCISCO.
♪♪
LATER, HOW MUCH LATER I DON'T KNOW,
ME AND DANNY STUMBLE OUT OF MR. BING'S
IN SEARCH OF SOMETHING TO SOAK UP
THE CHURNING CAULDRONS OF ALCOHOL IN OUR GUTS.
(Anthony) BURGER.
I NEED A BIG, GREASY (bleep) SLAB OF GROUND MEAT.
OH, OH, THIS IS A GREAT BOOKSTORE--
CITY LIGHTS BOOKSTORE.
THIS IS ONE OF THE GREAT INDEPENDENT BOOKSTORES
IN AMERICA.
RIGHT THERE. BUT WE'RE GOING FOR A BURGER.
(man) YEAH.
"OPEN."
I NEED MEAT.
SAM'S BURGERS IS THERE FOR US,
JUST THREE BLOCKS AWAY,
ONE OF THE FEW PLACES OPEN LATE
AND SERVING FOOD AROUND HERE.
YOU CAN COUNT ON ONE HAND THE PLACES
STILL SERVING FOOD AFTER BARS CLOSE.
"PIZZA, BEER, HAMBURGERS"--
I NEVER THOUGHT A HAMBURGER COULD BE GOOD
IN A PLACE THAT ALSO SERVES PIZZA.
ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW, DUDE?
SOMETIMES IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT, LIKE, YOU KNOW...
I'M IN LOVE.
THIS AND THAT.
IT'S ABOUT, LIKE, AN AWESOME BURGER.
LOOK AT THAT. OH, GOD, LOOK AT THAT.
THE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER
IS THE THING TO GET.
IT ALWAYS IS, ISN'T IT?
THIS PLACE IS AWESOME ALREADY.
IT'S (bleep) AWESOME, DUDE.
IS ANYONE EATING PIZZA HERE, BY THE WAY?
I NEVER HAD PIZZA. I NEVER HAD PIZZA.
SO WHY THE (bleep) EVEN HAVE THE PIZZA SIGN?
WH-WH-WHAT--HOW LONG HAS THAT THING SAT THERE?
(laughter)
OKAY, THE BURGERS ARE THE--
THE BURGERS ARE THE SICKEST, THOUGH, RIGHT?
LIKE, THE BURGERS--
RIGHT. OH, AND THERE'S (bleep) BEER WITH IT.
IT'S SO AWESOME.
HOW LATE DO YOU GUYS STAY OPEN HERE?
(man) 4:00.
4:00. THAT'S THE THING. 'CAUSE YOU AT LI--
4:00 IN THE MORNING.
(man speaking indistinctly)
YOU ARE A GOOD MAN.
YOU ARE A PATRON (bleep) SAINT OF SAN FRANCISCO.
WHAT--THE BARS CLOSE AT, WHAT, 1:30?
(speaking indistinctly)
AND YOU'RE STILL OPEN TO 4:00?
YEAH.
SO IF I COME HERE AT 3:59...
NO!
(Danny) NO.
3:30 IS THE LAST-- THE LAST CALL.
THAT'S IT. ALL IN. ALL IN.
ALL IN.
ALL IN. THEY'RE ALL IN.
(laughter)
YOU COULD SEEK LATE-NIGHT HELP AT YUET LEE CHINESE FOOD
OR THE BACON-WRAPPED DOGS OVER AT LUCERO MUNOZ'S,
SET UP ON THE CORNER--
DELICIOUS AND SINISTER AND WORTH TRAVELING FOR.
YUET LEE, ON THE OTHER HAND, IN NORTH BEACH
HAS REMAINED ONE OF SAN FRANCISCO'S
MOST POPULAR AFTER-HOURS OPTIONS FOR 30 YEARS,
OPEN TILL 3:00 A.M.,
CASH ONLY, AND GLORIOUSLY UN-REMODELED.
SALT AND PEPPER PRAWNS ARE TO BE RECOMMENDED.
THE OWNER FISHES THEM OUT OF THE TANK
WITH A RETROFITTED TENNIS RACKET.
TONIGHT, HOWEVER, I'M GOING WITH THE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER.
IT'S WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR BURGER, TONY?
YOU KNOW, MAYBE SOME KETCHUP,
MAYBE SOME MAYONNAISE, NEVER MUSTARD.
YOU WANT NO MUSTARD?
NO, NO, I'M GOOD.
THIS THING'S--
OH, (bleep), SORRY.
(man) OHH. (chuckles)
OH, MAN, THIS BRINGS ME BACK.
LISTEN, WE MADE PETER NORTH FILMS
BEFORE WE, YOU KNOW...
(laughs)
CHEERS ON THE, UH,
DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER, YEAH.
(indistinct conversation)
(man) WHO IS SAM?
(man) ORIGINAL OWNER.
HOLY CRAP,
LOOK AT THAT (bleep) MOUNTAIN OF MEAT.
LOOK AT THIS THING.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK YOU ARE MY WALKING BUDDHA, SIR.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
THE NIGHT PASSES IN A BLEARY,
GREASE AND MUSTARD-SOAKED HAZE.
I MADE IT BACK TO MY HOTEL
ONLY TO LIVE ON TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY.
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
WHEN TOURISTS COME TO SAN FRANCISCO,
I THINK, UH, ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES RIGHT OFF THE BAT
IS JUST GOING TO THE TOURIST LOCATIONS,
GOING RIGHT WHERE EVERYBODY-- ALL THE TOURIST BOOKS SAY TO GO,
YOU KNOW, MAYBE GO TO THE WHARF OR PIER 39.
BUT YOU KNOW, THE GREAT THING ABOUT IT IS--
IS THERE'S SO MANY LITTLE, UH, NEIGHBORHOODS
AND DIFFERENT ETHNICITIES,
AND YOU CAN FIND ALL THESE LITTLE CULINARY TREASURES,
REALLY, AT ANY BUDGET.
♪♪
MORNING IN SAN FRANCISCO,
FULL OF LIFE, FRESH AIR, POSSIBILITIES FOR MOST PEOPLE.
(music winds down)
(snoring)
ME? I HAD A ROUGH NIGHT.
OVER IN MISSION DOLORES PARK,
I MEET CALEB ZIGAS, DIRECTOR OF LA COCINA.
I MEAN, I'VE BEEN HEARING ABOUT LA COCINA FOR A LONG TIME.
IF YOU COULD TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS IT?
WHAT IS IT YOU'RE DOING?
SURE. WE'RE A NONPROFIT INCUBATOR KITCHEN.
SO WE WORK WITH LOW-INCOME AND IMMIGRANT ENTREPRENEURS,
WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS WHO ARE LAUNCHING, GROWING,
AND FORMALIZING FOOD BUSINESSES.
SO WHAT IS THIS PLACE WE'RE GOING?
IT'S CHAAC MOOL.
IT'S MARIA DE LA LUZ VáSQUEZ AND LUIS VáSQUEZ.
THEY BEGAN COOKING YUCATECAN FOOD OUT OF THEIR HOMES.
THEY WERE DOING COCHINITA PIBIL, WHICH IS A SLOW-ROASTED PORK.
OH, YEAH? THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
AND, UH--YEAH, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
THE FARE IS REGIONAL, INDIGENOUS,
PRE-HISPANIC MEXICAN.
OH, THAT'S GREAT. THEY ARE JUST NOT--
THEY'RE NOT--THEY'RE NOT KIDDING AROUND, ARE THEY?
NO, IT'S REAL. THAT'S--YOU KNOW.
YOU--HERE IT'S A TRUCK, AND YOU GET A HOMEMADE TORTILLA.
RIGHT.
THAT'S CRAZY.
WHAT HAPPENED WITH MEXICAN FOOD, LIKE, ON ITS JOURNEY HERE?
I MEAN, WHERE DID FAKE-*** MEXICAN FOOD COME FROM,
WHEN IT'S EASIER TO MAKE, LIKE, THE REAL THING...
RIGHT.
CHEAPER TO MAKE THE REAL THING?
RIGHT.
WE'RE NOT SHORT OF MEXICANS.
HMM.
WHAT--WHAT HAPPENED?
I THINK ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO MEXICAN FOOD
IS THAT A LOT OF OUR CLIENTS DON'T HAVE CONFIDENCE
IN THE AMERICAN CONSUMER TO EAT THE FOOD THEY WOULD EAT AT HOME.
AH, INTERESTING POINT.
SO WE'LL DO, LIKE, AN OFFAL TOUR OF SAN FRANCISCO
IN A COUPLE WEEKS WITH OUR CLIENTS
TO PROVE THAT PEOPLE WILL EAT CHICHARRONES.
RIGHT.
THEY'LL EAT TRIPE IF YOU MAKE IT RIGHT.
THIS TORTILLA IS AWESOME.
MM-HMM.
YOU COULD, OF COURSE, GO TO BOCCALONE SALUMERIA
OR ROSAMUNDE SAUSAGE GRILL.
BOCCALONE IS IN THE FERRY BUILDING.
AND THE ONLY PLACE TO EXPERIENCE
THE FULL LINE OF CHRIS COSENTINO
AND MARK PASTORE'S
INCREDIBLE HANDMADE ARTISANAL CURED MEATS.
ROSAMUNDE SAUSAGE GRILL IS A SMALL RESTAURANT
WITH A CULT FOLLOWING--
GRILLED MEAT IN TUBE FORM ON FRENCH ROLLS,
UP TO TWO FREE ACCOMPANIMENTS LIKE ***,
ONIONS, PEPPERS, OR SPICY BEEF CHILI.
HELL, YES.
FOR ME, SAN FRANCISCO IS-- IT'S THE BEST CITY--
IT'S THE BEST CITY TO EAT IN IN THE COUNTRY.
AND THAT'S HARD FOR ME TO SAY, 'CAUSE I'M, LIKE,
AN EAST COAST-BIASED KIND OF PERSON,
BUT I THINK YOU GET LOW, MIDDLE, AND HIGH HERE
LIKE YOU DON'T GET IN-- IN OTHER PLACES.
AND I THINK YOU GET THAT REAL SINCERE MIDDLE
WHERE CREATIVITY, LIKE, HAS A SPACE.
YEAH.
CABLE CAR-- KINDA HAVE TO DO IT, RIGHT?
AND, YES, IT LOOKS AT FIRST
KINDA BOGUS AND TOURISTY.
BUT THEN YOU GET ON AND REALIZE RIGHT AWAY
THAT, NO, IT'S KINDA COOL.
(trolley bell dings)
YOU JUST LOOK AT THE FACES, HOW MUCH PEOPLE ARE DIGGING IT,
THIS INSANE, ABSURD, YET WONDERFUL INSTITUTION,
PRESERVED STILL IN ALL ITS DYSFUNCTIONAL GLORY.
YOU BUY IN. I DID.
THAT WAS, LIKE, THE MOST MAGNIFICENTLY (bleep) UP,
DYSFUNCTIONALLY WONDERFUL MEANS OF TRANSPORT EVER.
IT MAKES NO (bleep) SENSE AT ALL
IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I WENT FOR SOMETHING SO TOURISTY
AND CHEESY, AND I REALLY WENT FOR IT.
LIKE, I GOTTA BRING MY DAUGHTER ON THIS.
I'M SUCH A SAP.
NOW THAT I'M BACK AT THE FAIRMONT IN *** HILL...
*** HILL. IT ALMOST BEGS FOR A JOKE, DOESN'T IT?
IT'S TIME TO PACK UP AND GET READY TO HEAD HOME.
(clock ticking)
(indistinct conversation)
FISHERMAN'S WHARF IS A DEFINITE TOURIST AREA.
BUT IT'S SUCH A FABULOUS PLACE. IT'S WHERE I LIVE.
AND I GO ALONG, CHECK OUT THE FISHERMAN'S WHARF,
AND I GET A BIG KICK OUT OF ALL THE ENTERTAINMENT
THAT'S ALONG THE STREET.
AND THEN I END UP AT AQUATIC PARK,
AND WE LOCALS SWIM AND ROW IN THE BAY
AND HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.
THE BAY IS FREEZING COLD, AND WE ALL LOVE IT.
(sighs) AND SO...
OUR SAN FRANCISCO SOJOURN
DRAWS TO A CLOSE.
TOUGH CALL WHERE I WANT TO STOP ON THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
(Anthony) WHEE!
THERE'S HUARCHES AT ALEMANY FARMER'S MARKET.
EL HUARCHE LOCO IS RUN BY VERONICA SALAZAR,
WHO MAKES HER FOOD TO THE TASTES
OF HER HOMETOWN MEXICO CITY.
THE HUARCHES AND CACTUS SALAD SHE SERVES UP EVERY SATURDAY
ARE SUPERB AND RIGHT ON THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
(Anthony) OH, MOLINARI. THERE WE GO.
BUT I GO WITH A FIERCE NEED
FOR A GREASY, MEATY ITALIAN SUB.
MOLINARI & SONS
IS THE RIGHT PLACE TO FIND ONE.
(man) OH, HI, ANTHONY BOURDAIN.
WHAT'S UP? HI.
WOW.
WHAT'S IN THE-- THE ITALIAN COMBO,
THE MOLINARI SPECIAL?
BASICALLY A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING.
WE HAVE MORTADELLA, SOME HEAD CHEESE,
SOME PINOT. A REALLY DRY SALAMI, HUH?
YEAH, OKAY, LET ME DO A MOLINARI SPECIAL
WITH, WHAT--IT COMES WITH, UH, LETTUCE, TOMATO...
(man) LETTUCE, TOMATO, ONIONS...
ONION, OIL, VINEGAR?
IF YOU WANT OIL AND VINEGAR, WE CAN DO OIL AND VINEGAR.
BEAUTIFUL THING.
IT'S GONNA BE $8.50 YOUR TOTAL, PLEASE.
OUT OF $20?
THANK YOU.
(sighs)
YEAH. IT'S THE DRIPPING THAT MAKES IT GOOD.
NOTHING LIKE A PILE OF GREASY CURED MEAT AND CHEESE
TO CHASE THE PAIN AWAY.
LET NO ONE SAY
I DON'T LOVE SAN FRANCISCO.
THERE'S GOOD FOOD,
GOOD BARS EVERYWHERE.
IT DEFIES EXPECTATIONS AT EVERY TURN.
IT IS MY KIND OF DIRTY OLD TOWN.
SEE YOU AT THE TIKI BAR.
♪♪
Closed Captions provided by Scripps Networks, LLC.
Captioned by Closed Captioning Services, Inc.