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The following program is
a production of Truth For The World.
íMU "Day by day, and with each passing moment,
"strength I find to meet my trials here.
"Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
I've no cause for worry or for fear." íMU
What does the Bible really teach on marriage,
divorce and remarriage?
Hello and welcome to the program Words To Live By.
In this series of programs,
we are examining the home and the family.
And while this topic is too broad and vast for us to be able
to cover every scenario or potential idea for discussion,
we do hope to give you God's instructions for the home
and family and thus give you Words To Live By.
You can then take these words and use them as your rules
and guidelines to follow when making decisions
about your own situations regarding the home and family.
In reality, the home and family are under attack today.
As we have begun to see in our previous programs,
there are those who would dismantle the home and family
by breaking down God's plan for marriage
and God's appointed roles for us in the family and home.
We continue looking at threats to the home and family
with our next lesson called Marriage,
Divorce and Remarriage.
This lesson will be broken up over two programs.
Cliff Goodwin will be looking at five questions from God's Word
about Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage.
The questions will be, "What is the Law?,"
"What is the Problem?," "What is the Solution?,"
"What about the Children?," and "What are we trying to do?"
In the first program, Cliff will be looking at what the law
of God is on marriage, divorce and remarriage.
Then he will begin to look at what the problem is.
Next, he will begin to look at what the solution is.
Part of his talk on the solution will be in this first program,
and then he will be able to finish it in the next program.
Then in our next program, he will also cover the questions
"What about the children?"
and "What are we trying to do?"
The first text we invite you to turn to is the book
of Matthew chapter 19 starting with verse 3.
Here the Pharisees come to Jesus,
and they are tempting him.
They ask Him if it is lawful to put away
or divorce a woman for every cause.
In America today, you don't even have to have a good cause.
You can obtain what is called a no-fault divorce,
where two parties may divorce for no fault
but their own desires to divorce.
But Jesus went to the Scripture to see what God had
to say about the issue.
That is so important for us today.
We must not get sidetracked into thinking and sorting
through what the laws of the land say about divorce.
Besides, different geographical locations have different rules
for divorce.
But God's laws apply to all men all over the world.
Yes, the Bible teaches we are to obey the laws of the land
and be good citizens, but only
if those laws do not contradict His laws.
So when it comes to divorce,
the laws of our land may give us a different set of options
and rules than what the Bible may say.
When Jesus was asked about the question of divorce,
He did not look to Roman law for a final answer,
even though He was living
under the jurisdiction of the Roman Empire.
He went directly to the words of Scripture
and stated, "Have ye not read?"
Again, Cliff Goodwin will be taking us through what the law
of God is regarding marriage, divorce and remarriage.
Then he will look at what the problem is.
And then he will be starting to look
at what the solution is in today's program.
We invite you to open your Bibles and study along
with us during the program today.
Let's continue our next lesson in the category
of lessons dealing with threats to the home and the family.
Open your Bibles with us now as Cliff Goodwin leads us
in our study called Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage.
What the Bible teaches on marriage, divorce
and remarriage, Brothers and Sisters, is not really difficult
to understand, but at times it may be extremely difficult
to honor and to put into practice
in our daily lives on this earth.
So tonight, we are going to pursue this matter
by asking ourselves five questions.
I want you to ask yourself these five questions as we proceed.
And my hope and prayer is as we answer these five questions
from God's word that we can dismiss here in a little while
and leave this place, having studied together
and having realized afresh God's will regarding marriage,
divorce and remarriage.
These are the five questions we're going to ask.
Number one, we're going to ask, "What is the law?"
Number two, then, we're going to ask, "What is the problem?"
Number three we are going to ask, "What is the solution?,"
meaning the solution to the problem.
Number four, and this is probably the most heart rending
of all these questions, "What about the children?,"
and you'll see what we mean when we get to question number four.
And then finally, number five, we are going
to ask the question,"What are we really trying to do?"
What is the law?
What is the problem?
What is the solution?
What about the children?
And what are we really trying to do?
Now let's all open our Bibles together to Matthew chapter 19,
and let's begin by examining the first of these questions.
Dear friends, regarding marriage and regarding the home
and as regards the specifics of divorce and remarriage also,
God has a very specific law.
It is recorded in his Word, the Holy Bible,
the book which was given by inspiration of God,
Second Timothy 3:16 and 17.
Therefore this law is authoritative,
amenable to all mankind.
You and I are subject to that law, in other words,
and this law is perfect.
This law of God is not mistaken, it is not something
about which man could have done a better job.
God's law is divine, and therefore all sufficient,
authoritative, and perfect.
And let's notice this in Matthew chapter 19 beginning in verse 3,
"The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him
and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man
to put away his wife for every cause?"
Now, that brief question
in verse 3 basically encapsulates what is the
American mentality today.
And that is, the prevalent American mentality seems to be,
at least, that you can basically put away your wife
or put away your husband, whichever the case may be,
for virtually any cause.
She burned the bread - divorce her.
You didn't like the way he looked at you
or talked to you - divorce him.
Get rid of that spouse.
You know, that seems to be the American mentality.
And as I mentioned earlier today, in my first sermon,
whatever is prevalent in the society sooner or later is going
to affect the church, and that negatively.
Sooner or later, it will crop up within the church when members
and brothers and sisters and elderships
and preachers let their guard down.
If it's in the society long enough,
sooner or later it's going to affect the church.
And so this idea here, that it is lawful to put away his wife,
for a man to put away his wife for every cause,
there were some, not all, but there were some
in the Jewish culture of the New Testament times
who believed that, essentially.
And obviously, there are some in our country
who must believe that today.
But notice our Lord's reply, "And he answered
and said unto them, Have ye not read?"
And friends, when questions come to us about marriage,
about the home, or for that matter,
about any spiritual concern, our first response needs to be,
"Well, what does the Bible say?"
Let's get back to the Bible,
and here that's all that Jesus was doing.
He is asking these Jews, "Have ye not read your Bible?
Have ye not read that he which made them
at the beginning made them male and female, and said,
For this cause shall a man leave father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife:
and they twain shall be one flesh?"
Now look at verse 6.
"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together let not man
put asunder."
Now, good friends, and brothers and sisters in verses 4
through 6, we have read God's law on the matter,
the matter of marriage, divorce and remarriage.
Now we'll read more about divorce and remarriage
down in verse 9, but through verse 6 we've already read
about God's law pertaining to marriage.
Now I'm almost certain Brother Cates used this wording last
hour, I'm thinking Brother Elkins earlier today used this
phraseology, but I am still going to use it again.
If we want to summarize God's teaching on marriage, divorce
and remarriage, we see right here from Matthew 19:4
through 6 it can be summarized as this - God's law is one man
with one woman for a lifetime.
In verse 6, it says,
"What therefore God hath joined together let not man
put asunder."
In keeping with that sentiment expressed by our Lord,
it is common in our vows in modern America to say,
until death do us part.
What's the law?
One man, one woman for a lifetime.
But then we add to that from verse 9,
as we move down to verse 9, with one exception.
Notice what the Lord says, "And I say unto you,
whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be
for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:
and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Now friends, really and truly, verse 9 is much simpler
than what many have made it out to be.
Verse 9, Our Lord is simply saying
that if a man divorces his wife on any grounds
for any cause rather than for fornication
and he marries another person he commits adultery.
If he does not divorce his first, and rightful,
spouse because of fornication,
then if he marries another, he commits adultery.
Now if the spouse is sexually unfaithful,
she commits fornication against her husband,
or he commits fornication against his wife, well,
then that husband or that wife can put away that guilty party,
that offending party, the fornicator, and can marry again
without it necessarily being adultery.
It would depend on the marital eligibility or status
of the one they marry in the second occurrence.
But they could do it if they found an eligible partner.
So God's law on the matter, what is it?
God's law is one man and one woman
for a lifetime with one exception.
Some scratch their head and say, "Well, preacher,
you've just over-simplified that."
No, I really haven't, friends.
God has given us his word in a simple format.
God has given us his word
so that we can read and understand it.
God didn't give us his word to mystify us and to puzzle us
and bewilder us to where we could never come a knowledge
of the truth.
What kind of a God would that be?
If he gave us a word, purposefully,
only to mislead and perplex us?
God hasn't done that.
I have not oversimplified it.
I've simply stated it the way Jesus did.
It is that simple.
Now, is it always easy to honor?
Not in our culture, not in our society.
But it is that simple to understand.
So we've answered the first question tonight.
What is the law?
Now, our second question tonight
which we must answer: what is the problem?
You might be wondering where we are going with this question,
but, friends, when I answer it,
you will see exactly where we are going.
What is the problem?
Dear friends, the problem is always - not most of the time -
always - 110 percent of the time - the problem is
when man goes counter to God's law.
Now that's the problem.
Ok? Now to give you a real life example of that,
not a real life example, but to give you a hypothetical example:
if John and Jane are married,
neither has been sexually unfaithful to the other,
neither has committed fornication, in other words.
And John decides one day that he is tired of living with Jane.
And so he divorces Jane without any scriptural grounds
of fornication.
Then a month later, he goes out and marries Susie.
Guess what?
John is living in adultery.
He has committed adultery, and he continues to commit adultery
as long as he maintains that adulterous union with Susie.
Ok. Now that's the problem.
The problem is always when man goes counter
to what God has legislated as His divine law.
Now for this, I want you to turn over with me
to the book of Romans.
Turn over to Romans chapter 7 and I want us
to note together verses 2 and 3.
Romans 7 verses 2 and 3.
Notice here the apostle Paul penned, "For the woman
which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband
so long as he liveth: but if the husband be dead, she is loosed
from the law of her husband."
Well, how could there be a problem?
Read verse 3, and you'll find the problem.
"So then, if while her husband liveth, she be married
to another man, she shall be called an adulteress."
Now here, it is understood, or presumed,
that she did not put away her first and rightful husband
on the grounds of fornication.
That's just understood in the text.
Paul is not contradicting what Jesus gave as the exception
in Matthew 19 and verse 9.
He's simply not dealing with that in this illustration.
So here is a woman who is married to another man,
while she has a living husband.
She did not put him away for fornication,
and the Bible says she shall be called an adulteress.
It is interesting to realize here -
the word "called" is a form of the word "chrematizo,"
the same word which occurs in Acts 11 and verse 26,
of which it is said, "And the disciples were called Christians
first in Antioch."
I do not subscribe to that school
of thought wherein people have said the name Christian was
given only in derision.
I don't believe that.
Acts 11:26, the word "chrematizo",
that word can mean, "divinely called."
I understand Acts 11:26 to mean
that the name Christian was the divinely given name,
probably even in fulfillment of passages in Isaiah.
I think one was Isaiah 62 and verse 2.
God looked down at his disciples in Antioch
and divinely called them Christians.
They were called Christians first in Antioch.
And friends, when God looks down from his throne room in heaven,
and he looks down on a man who is joined to a woman or a woman
who is joined to a man, in either case,
they do not have the scriptural right to be together,
God divinely calls that adultery.
"She shall be called an adulteress."
Now I didn't say that.
The Holy Spirit said
that through the pen of the apostle Paul.
That's what the Bible says,
and that gives you God's divine viewpoint.
"She shall be called an adulteress."
Now that's the problem.
The problem is when we go contrary or counter to God's law
of one man, and one woman for a lifetime with one exception.
That is the law.
When we go counter to that,
we are in adultery, Romans 7 and verse 3.
But now, let's move to our next consideration,
our third question in this series.
We have answered the question, "What is the law?"
We have summarized it in a simplistic form.
We have answered the question, "What is the problem?"
The problem is when we go counter to that.
Now, number three.
What is the solution?
I don't know about you, but I don't think very much
of preachers who only gives me the problems
and never give me the solutions.
You know, in congregations where that is going on,
and I don't have any particular in mind, but in congregations
where all a man does week in and week out were a man gets up
and brow beats the people
and he tells them all the things they are doing wrong and points
out all of the problems without ever sharing with them,
from God's word, the solutions -
that would get old pretty quick, wouldn't it?
So I'm glad to stand before you
and tell you there is a solution.
Yes, there is even a solution to the sin of adultery.
There is a solution.
You know, over the years some
of our brethren have almost adopted this idea
that adultery is some kind of unforgivable sin.
That once a man or woman enters into an adulterous union,
I don't even like calling an adulterous marriage,
it is also an adulterous union if it is not
in keeping with Matthew 19:9.
Well, they think, "There's just nothing they can do for them."
Well, in a sense, there is nothing we can do for them,
but there is something they can do for themselves.
There is a solution to the problem.
If we find ourselves having gone counter to God's law
and thereby, tonight, we are living in an adulterous union -
I've got good news for you dear friends: there is a solution.
And the solution to the sin of adultery is the same as it is
for the solution to any other sin, and that is repentance.
Repent. Peter wrote in Second Peter 3 and verse 9, he said,
"The Lord is not slack concerning his promise,
as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward,
not willing that any should perish,
but that all should come to repentance."
God's solution for every sin problem is
that all men come to repentance.
And He desires that, and not only does he desire that,
he has commanded that.
In Acts 17 and verse 30, Paul preached to the Athenians:
"And the times of this ignorance God winked at;
but now commandeth all men everywhere to repent."
Dear brother, dear sister, dear friend, if you're living
in adultery tonight or you know someone who is living
in adultery tonight, that command is still theirs.
That solution is still available to them, to repent,
to come out of sin and be saved by the grace of our loving God.
It's interesting in Matthew chapter 1
when the heavenly messenger was speaking to Joseph,
it's interesting what the heavenly messenger said
to Joseph about his soon-to-be-born earthly son,
Jesus, actually whom he did not father biologically,
we understand.
He said, "And thou shalt call his name Jesus:
for he shall save his people from their sins."
Friends, that's significant.
Jesus did not come to save his people in their sins.
He came to save his people from their sins.
That is very important, Matthew 1 and verse 21.
So, let's talk about repentance now, as being the solution
to this problem, the problem of adultery.
What does repentance mean?
It is translated from a compound Greek word,
a compound word derived from "meta," a prepositional,
meaning "to change", and "noea," a form of "nous,"
which means "the mind."
And so literally, when we speak of repentance,
we mean a changing of one's mind and in this vein,
we sometimes call it the changing of one's heart.
For biblically speaking, the heart of man is not right here,
for biblically speaking, the spiritual heart is right here.
It is the mind of man, Proverbs 4:23, "Keep thy heart
with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."
So, repentance has been accurately described,
and I am going to show you
from the scriptures why it is accurate,
but it has been accurately described as a change
of mind resulting in a reformation of life.
Brothers and sisters, contrary to whatever kind
of liberal theology there has come down the pike,
contrary to whatever you maybe have heard elsewhere,
the Word of God teaches that a person cannot repent
and continue living in the same sinful fashion.
That is not taught in God's word,
and I want to show you that.
In God's word, instead, when a person repents up here
between the ears, repentance occurs between the ears,
and when it has occurred up here between the ears,
evidence of it is manifested out in the life.
And I want to show you that.
Turn with me in your Bibles, to Matthew 21, Matthew chapter 21.
As you are turning there, another practical definition
that I like to use for repentance is
"a conscious decision of the will."
Repentance is a conscious decision of the will,
wherein a man or a woman says "I do not want
to live in sin any more.
I want to get out of the sinning business.
I'm turning away from sin, and I'm turning
to my God and to my Lord."
That's repentance.
Let's look at Matthew 21 and verse 28
at what our Lord taught along these lines.
Jesus asked, "But what think ye?
A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said,
Son, go work today in my vineyard.
He answered and said, I will not:
but afterward he repented, and went."
Here, notice the son initially was very impudent,
very stubborn.
He rebels against his father.
He says, "I am not going to go work
in your vineyard today, Dad.
I will not."
But then the Bible says, "Afterward he said,"
but notice the two-fold progression,
they are both essential.
Number one, he repented, that occurred between his ears.
Number one, he repented.
Number two, he reformed his action - he went.
Now, friends, not 99 percent of the time, but 110 percent
of the time, as I like to say often, repentance will result
in reformation of life.
He repented and went, he did what he was told to do.
Did today's lesson clear up the issue of marriage, divorce
and remarriage a little bit for you?
If we can remember the three ones that Cliff mentioned,
then we should be able to remember God's laws on marriage,
divorce and remarriage.
God intended one man to be married to one woman for life
with only one exception, and that is adultery.
One man and woman are to leave father and mother and cleave
to each other for life.
The only exception that would allow them
to divorce each other would be if one party commits adultery.
The innocent party in the marriage may choose
to divorce the party guilty of adultery, if they wish to do so.
If that happens, the guilty party is released
from the marriage and is not allowed to remarry.
His or her chances to be married are through.
Only through reconciliation or return to that original marriage
that they defiled could they ever be married again.
On the other hand, the innocent party may choose
to divorce the guilty party if they wish and may even choose
to remarry if they wish.
But even though God allows one exception for divorce,
it does not mean that He likes it.
In the book of Malachi chapter 2 and verse 16, we read,
"For the LORD, the God of Israel,
saith that he hateth putting away."
Remember that even though divorce is allowed
under one exception,
that exception requires sin to be involved.
Adultery must be committed before
that exception is even available.
Well since God hates sin, He certainly would not approve
of someone committing adultery in order to get a divorce.
And if one gets a divorce for some reason other than adultery,
well, then he is not following God's laws regarding marriage
and he is abandoning his marriage
without an approved exception.
This is not pleasing to God either.
So no matter how it happens, divorce requires sin in order
to take place, and sin is something God does not like.
But even though we are looking at the physical home
and family during the course of these programs,
we want to mention the spiritual family.
The most important family
of which you can be a member is the spiritual family of God.
When we rebel against God's laws and do things our ways,
it's sin, and the punishment for that sin is death,
or separation from God.
In Romans chapter 6 and verse 23, we read,
"The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord."
It's because of Jesus Christ
that we can have eternal life instead
of the death that we deserve.
Jesus, who is God, came down to earth and lived a sinless life.
He then gave Himself as a perfect sacrifice of death
to pay the penalty of sins for all mankind.
If we accept that sacrifice on our behalf
and have our sins washed away, we can return to God's presence
after this life is over.
In fact, we can become one of God's children.
In Ephesians chapter 1 and verse 5,
we read that "God has predestinated us unto the
adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself."
It was because of Jesus that the adoption
into the family of God is possible.
In order to accept the sacrifice on our behalf
and wash away our sins, we need
to follow God's plan of salvation.
First, believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that He died
as a sacrifice for our sins.
Next, repent of sin, in other words, stop rebelling
against God and be willing to follow His ways.
Then we need to confess our belief in Christ before others,
simply stating that you believe that Jesus is the Son of God.
Next, be immersed in water, baptized,
to have your sins washed away.
And then finally, live faithfully, serving Christ.
In the meantime, continue reading the Bible, God's word,
and visit our website where you can find helpful material
to aid you in the study of God's word: www.truthfortheworld.org.
But for now, continue reading the Bible.
Make sure to join us next time as we examine the home
and the family here on Words To Live By.
Truth For The World is a work of the Duluth Church of Christ
in cooperation with Churches of Christ throughout the world.
íMU "Day by day, and with each passing moment,
"strength I find to meet my trials here.
"Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
I've no cause for worry or for fear." íMU