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Hello DKM here with another Guide To Wimmin
Joining me again today is Gabby
Hello Gabby
That's Gabriella. Hello everyone
Last week you said it was Gabby
Well you were mean to me so now it's Gabriella
By 'mean to you' do you mean I disagreed with you?
It's Gabriella
Okay hello Gabriella
Thanks for coming by
Anyway this week I will be talking about sexless, loveless marriages,
and how men can avoid getting trapped in one
So do I get more lines this week?
Yes you get to read out a letter from a lying cheating woman which I then dissect
in order to point out how dumb and selfish she is
oh.. Yay!
Okay Gabriella could you now read her letter from the autocue please
Hello
I'm a thirty nine-year old mother with two children
I met my husband in my early twenties
I kind of had to learn to love him as he's a great husband an excellent father
two years ago I began an affair with a co-worker
Even though he frequently treated me badly I still enjoyed the passion and excitement
Okay...
Well she really seems to feel ashamed of what she has done and the pain she has caused her husband
.. Oh wait no she doesn't...
A husband she admits she wasn't in love with when she married him by the way... Anyway carry on please
My husband discovered the affair and was devastated
but was willing to work on our marriage because he still loves me and wanted our children
to have the best life possible
Sounds like a decent caring guy
I bet she regretted her mistake and made sure she never put her need for drama
and illicit sex ahead of her loving family again. Am I right?
She says she continued seeing the other man until the affair ended this year...
(meaning he dumped her)
leaving me heartbroken and depressed
Oh the poor little flower!
So does this Jezebel have anything else to say?
I don't love my husband
We haven't had sex since the affair started and I still won't let him touch me
He says he wants to be a hero for the kids
so he won't go out with other women as I've encouraged him to do
I don't know what to do
It's very sad how things have worked out for this irresponsible, blame-dodging love-rat-cheaty-pants
Okay but this is just one letter
More husbands cheat on their wives than vice Versa.
That's a documented fact
No I am afraid it's not. but you are right that neither sex is better than the other
I was saying women are better actually
I know
As I was saying no sex is better
but one sex does initiate 70-80% of all divorces
Yes, women. Because so many men turn out to be so useless
Or have outlived their usefulness perhaps?
I don't know what you mean
The situation in that letter is so common and one I'm keen to help more men avoid
as it is they who pay the higher price, both financially and often emotionally
when their wife suddenly decides she's not'fulfilled' or needs to 'find herself'
find herself some new *** more like
Let me make this simple. To avoid finding yourself in a sexless,
loveless, often emotionally abusive sham of a marriage
with a potential side order of infidelity,
divorce with alimony and child support for kids you may be lucky to ever see
that is if they were even yours in the first place...
uh... i've kind of lost...
my thread... urm..
shall I start again?
Just be careful. Don't trust every dappy old bint who suddenly shows
a huge amount of interest in you and laughs at all your jokes
and is surprisingly interested in your comic book collection...
Sometimes you have to look that gift horse in the mouth
Maybe she's crazy about you...
...it happens
and maybe she didn't get hit by Cupid's arrow, maybe it's just her biological clock punching
her upside the uterus and you have the words'temporary help' written across your forehead
uh...
what she said
Quiet you. The thing is a woman like that she's doing what mothers do
looking out for her kids... she's not totally evil or selfish
It's more a primal maternal instinct
Her kids are going to always matter more than some stupid *** donor...
Turn off her mike
See it may not seem so bad at first,
especially for a man who has not had much luck with the ladies
suddenly here is one offering everything he ever dreamed of
it's like a pig being offered its own space rocket
Except all too often it's not real... and it's not forever
In fact you'll be lucky if it out-lives a house plant
Once the kids reach a certain age or she can't take your lame jokes anymore it's game over
and it's all 'it's not you, it's me' or 'it totally is you and I faked every ***'
and you're probably cry a lot and suggest counselling or some totally doomed *** and it'll be really really
really really really really sad
And then you will possibly turn into a genuine misogynist
Not a pretend one like me
So DKM, what is your secret for men to avoid being tricked into these sham marriages?
Is there any way to spot these fakey flakers?
No. Not really
You see men are more romantic than women
Also more naive and trusting
They are no match for the crafty ways of a woman
It's like lambs to the slaughter for most of them
True. So what do you suggest?
NEVER. GET. MARRIED.
Or at least be very very very careful.
You won't be reminded of the nature of most modern marriages in the media
or on the news or in the movies
So just be aware of the angles before thinking of getting hitched
because you have a lot to lose if you bet on the wrong one
Very true
Although I would just like to say that to all the guys watching
that you can all totally trust innocent little Gabsy-Wabsy-Doodle here...
I've been unlucky with men in the past, it's very sad actually
Why don't we go out for a drink sometime and I will tell you about it? You seem really nice...
Do you like children? How much do you earn?
Someone turn off that *** microphone...
Bye everyone!