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For over three years,
the Aperture Science Portal Project
has been the cornerstone
of our aggressive recruitment program.
Thanks to Portal,
we can weed out test subjects
who
when confronted with science,
may exhibit any or all of
the following personality flaws;
cowardice
impaired motor skills
poor judgement
fear of heights
weights
depths
bullets
and fire.
Now,
our marketing engineers
have discovered a way
to offer consumers a home version
of the Portal Project
for free!
Use your free Portal kit
to measure the value of
those around you,
and find a companion
for the upcoming
Cooperative Portal Testing Initiative.
Good luck.