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Yo, football.
Take a seat.
Thanks.
You know, I have never seen one inmate
Just walk in here
And be unanimously hated by the entire population.
I ain't never seen it.
How'd I get so lucky?
You could have robbed banks. You could have sold crack.
You could have stole your grandmama's pension
And nobody would have cared.
But shavin' points off a football game?
Man, that's just un-american.
You play football?
Me? Nah.
I suck so bad,
They used to pick me after the white kids.
Used to be mad too.
It's like, "I can't believe
I picked a *** that can't play."
Caretaker.
Paul crewe.
Whatever your pleasure,
I can facilitate.
You need weed, you need ***--
Hey, you need prozac, I'm your man.
I know how you white boys
Always deal with that depression.
I mean, me personally, I don't understand
What you white boys all depressed about.
Hey, you're white. Smile.
And for a small fee,
I can even get you mcdonalds.
Really? Yeah, that's right. Mickey d's.
My man cheeseburger eddy got the hookup.
Paul: Cheeseburger eddy? Caretaker: That's right.
We can get our mcflurry on.
Cheeseburger eddy: Enjoy it, fat man.
What about the love of a beautiful woman?
Well, you're gonna have to lower your standards
On the beautiful part and on the woman part.
Hey. Hey. Hey.
Let's just stick with the cheeseburgers.
Oh, they ugly now,
But in eight months, he gonna look like beyoncĂŠ.
No, thanks.
Now, here's the most important part.
You can't let these guys scare you.
You can't let 'em punk you.
'cause if you do that,
You gonna end up bein' somebody's ***.
Don't want that.
Thanks for the advice.
Hey. Let me take that tray out for you.
I ain't done eating yet.
Oh, you're not? I'll give it back to you, then.
You're dead!
( inmates shouting )
Hornet's nest!
( trays clattering )