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DeWolfe: I need to do something substantial to get the attention of girls.
Like what?
DeWolfe: Build a website. Be in a mediocre band.
Build a website for mediocre bands.
Grow a mustache.
DeWolfe: People want to go on the internet to check out ***.
So why not build a website that offers the illusion of free ***?
The chance to see underage girls in bikinis...
...stalk them and find out they're fat middle-aged men...
...with mustaches.
DeWolfe: I'm talking about taking the desires of ***, lonely men...
...and putting them online.
Greenspan: Dude, you've gotten 37 fake friend requests in an hour?
DeWolfe: Thousand. 37 thousand.
DeWolfe: And Tom.
Greenspan: This idea is worth at least a hundred bucks.
And maybe even some free concert tickets!
DeWolfe: Tom's gone missing.
Greenspan: They're saying Tom's not real.
I know what it says.
Greenspan: So is he?
Greenspan: A hundred dollars isn't cool.
You know who has two thumbs and is cool?
This guy.
DeWolfe: We don't want to get left behind. We have to stay fresh.
Greenspan: We change our design every week!
DeWolfe: Be more like Facebook.
Greenspan: Add more glitter!
DeWolfe: And applications.
Greenspan: Difficult navigation!
DeWolfe: It's like a challenge.
Berman: I'm so going to take him out of my top eight.
Greenspan: I can't wait to stand over your shoulder and screw up your mirror pic.
DeWolfe: We're the inventors of MySpace...
...and we still prefer Facebook.
DeWolfe: Is there anything that you need to tell me?
Greenspan: I killed Tom.
DeWolfe: You didn't comment on any of the blogs I've been working on!
I left a picture of a cat!
DeWolfe: Is that your idea of a joke? Do you actually like lol cats?
DeWolfe!
This is my new profile song!
Board Lady: You're being accused of intentionally ripping off Facebook...
...posting inane survey bulletins...
...violating virgins...
Guy: Your best friend wants to buy you on MySpace for 500 dollars.
DeWolfe: As for the charges, I think this board should blame Tom.
I'm sorry?
Blame Tom.
I... don't understand.
TOM.