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[front door opens and closes]
(Friend, down the hall) Hey, man!
Sup?
What the hell are you playing?!
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
for the Game Cube.
I know. What the hell?
What?
They might as well have called it...
The Legend of Zelda: Propaganda of the Reich
-What's that supposed to mean? -It means that this whole game's a call for a Nazi uprising.
It's a Nintendo game, man; how could you possibly think that?
Just look at it! You play as Link, your typical ***...
...blonde hair and blue eyes.
He's advertising the race as Hitler would have them: strong, smart and courageous.
Are you saying that Zelda's implying that Aryans are the best race?
I don't know. You tell me. Who else in the game has position of the Lens of Truth?
Huh? Who else is not hindered by the lies of the world?
-Only Link is the one with the perfect vision. He's the only one who sees the world for what it really is.
Dude, Link is no a Nazi; his motives are good.
-Oh yeah?
Let me ask you this: What's the biggest thing the Nazis did?
Ah ha! You see, there's no actual war in this game.
I'm not talking about war. I'm talking about the worst thing the Nazis ever did.
So you're talking about them attempting to kill off the Jews?
Exactly! And where did the Jews originally come from?
Uh, I don't know. Middle East?
A desert-like environment, right?
Link's primary goal is to keep the dark-skinned man from bettering his life...
...just like the Nazis did less than a century ago.
Yeah, but Ganon isn't actually a human; he's a monster.
That just strengthens my point.
[awful Hitler impression] Duh, beware of the Jews. They appear to be human, but they are no better than beasts of the world.
That's not all the game's about. You're really trying to save Hyrule.
Oh yeah, of course! Of course, you'd want to restore Germany back to its former glory; perhaps to its "Golden Age"?
You just said, "Germany".
Oh, did I? I must have gotten confused because the storylines are exactly the same!
How 'bout this? Hitler and Eva Braun. Link and Zelda aren't shaking up.
Hitler and Eva were able to keep it a secret. Why shouldn't Link be able to?
Alright, and what about the castle? The white castle stands for the purity in Zelda's bloodline?
-Doesn't it, though?
Doesn't it?
And I'll bet the world in Link's adulthood was just created to show people how the world would be...
...if the Aryans weren't there to protect people from the power-hungry Jews?
Without Nazism, the planet is lost?
Is that what you want to tell me next?
Hey, man, don't try to put the controller in my hands. You thought of that one on your own. So, what does that say about you?
I'm not a Nazi!
Okay, okay! But you're the one still playing Zelda. I'm outta here. Call me when you've learned not to hate.
Yeah, I'm starting to hate you right now.
(Friend, down the hall) That's the first step!
[front door opens and closes]
Son of a ***.
He ruined my game!
[cellphone rings]
(Gamer) Hello?
(Friend, on phone) Did you ever notice how Ganon's nose is huge?
(Gamer) Damnit!