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Next !
Excuse me, sir ?
Sir ?
Allo ?
Next !
Excuse me ? Excuse me ? 7 00:00:57,340 --> 00:00:58,940 Look, I don't get a damn about what's hapenning,
I'm kinda in a rush and...
Well, of course! It's your first time
First time ?
Gabriel is expected at office number B12 for an orientation issue,
Gabriel, office number B12, orientation issue.
What orientation issue ?
M'aham ?
Excellent, is that you ?
Come on, follow me.
Next !
Alright, working ?
Look, we got a little issue with the spiders.
Oh yeah ?
Not enough applies.
Well let's just do it South America style, with frogs.
Hum ? Let's release a colorful edition, it'll rock the house, okay ?
Anyway.
[Newcomers greetings conference]
Come on, you're the last one.
Move, move, move !
Hi everyone,
so, as some of you has already understood : You're dead.
Oi oi, no need to panic
That happens to anybody. The proof is there.
I've noticed many of you were chirstians,
nice job !
Some others Jewishs,
the right answer was Buddhist.
You may have also noticed a little "1" is standing above your head,
that means it's your first time here.
Speaking of which.
Let's explain this :
Each day we create new souls.
We're around 3000 at this point.
Those souls are sent on Earth within bodies.
When we started 4 billion years ago
we went straight to easy :
Unicellular beings, bacterias, nothing really imaginative.
Then we recruited plenty of creative minded,
those guys are awesome.
Mammals, oviparous, crustaceans ;
it was really promising.
Our biggest mistake...
Dinosaurs.
What's that idea ? 30 meters long lizards.
I told Karl it has no use
but, well, Karl, when he decides: "Yeah, let's make dinosaurs !"
Anyway.
And some day, fortunately
Patrick's master piece :
human kind
It was so obvious, so simple that
even us started it.
[匽 Which leads to your next reincarnation.
We made this out pretty fast seeing people
annoyed by living as insects or others creatures of the same kind.
So now it's simple.
You stack along your whole life
negative points by doing evil :
***, violence, manipulation
material degradation, I mean deforestation, grounds and water pollution.
You also can earn some points with your acts :
share, love of course, art
are many things among others which let you earn karma points.
So a little detail :
Karma points can't be bought or sold, no !
If someone offers you some on black market
be aware that it's stricly illegal and roughly punished.
I catched one earlier this morning
he was immediatly judged
his sentence was to reincarnate fifteen thousand times in phasme
You know the stick insect
So don't mess around kids, alright ?
Well, I can see your files incoming
those files summarize your acts, your life.
So read them, at the bottom of each file your personal score is detailed
and the reincarnation kind you may choose.
Well we can now start distribution
I'm going to call you one by one.
Xavier Hollaind
Karen Moreau, where is little Karen ?
Manon Champier... Champier
Camille Taillfer
Boris Petitou
You again ?
Well you gotta go now !
Where ?
At reincarnation office with your file.
But I don't have any file.
Didn't I give it to you ?
No.
Come here, come here.
It can't be, what's your name young man ?
Antoine Azar
A-Z-A-R
Damn ! Impossible, I don't have you We would have lost your file ?
What a mess ! What a mess.
Look, I'll bring you to Veronique, follow me.
[Office of crisis management, holocaust, manifest mistake, elusive souls, undeads]
Don't you come with me ?
Oh no ! No no no no.
Please, sit down.
Look, since I'm here it feels like a nightmare.
You think I'll be back in time for the ceremony ?
What ceremony are you talking about ?
I'm getting maried today.
You didn't get it.
you are dead !
Real dead, it's over.
So it's very sad, I know, but no one can help you.
Look, it's really strange I can't find you in any record.
Antoine Azar ?
Gender ... male
Born from father and mother ? No medicaly assisted procreation,
not a clone, no parthenogenesis ?
Parthe what ? No, no.
mum, dad, basic.
It's really weird that we lost your file but we'll figure it out.
The main issue is that we can't know your score
to your karma of course.
but we're gonna make it manual
Have you been mostly good or evil during your life ?
What was your job ?
I was working, I'm working as a real-estate agent.
Ich !
So, on a hundred scale
how many good do you think you were ?
one, not at all, hundred, very very nice.
Sixty... I don't know...
sixty... fifty... sixty-nine.
Have you ever made a genocide, yes/no ?
No
Make a child cry is, in your opinion :
a need / funny / not interesting
mean / gross ?
funny
a little bit...
but no, mean.
Among those singers
which one do you prefere ?
Marylin Manson...
Marylin Manson !
[ZERO]
Hum no no ! I wanna change that !
No sir, don't touch
don't you see it's decrepit ?
Damnit.
Among those singers, which one do you prefere ?
Marylin Manson
the Rolling Stones, the Beatles...
Laurent Voulzy ?
Laurent Voulzy.
According to you, Hitler is ... ?
Not good.
A genius / A nice guy / Some contractor
Yes but...
A jerk of Satan ?
Satan.
Ah here it is : 32.
32 ?
is 32 good ?
It's okay, not as good as Gandhi
but it's hard to do as good as Gandhi
That's...
So here's the list of reincarnations
you can subscribe to
So : Bee, not the queen
Antelope, yeah it's pretty cool you can see some beautiful places
bumblebee, a little bit like bee
hum... wale
wale is annoying as ***
Bonobo, oh ! Bonobo!
Or chinese but I wouldn't...
You're kidding ?
Don't take it this way sir.
I wanna see the boss.
The ?
The boss, the guy who run this place
the guy who gives you your checks
I don't know...
You mean hum...
God ?
Yes, God, exactly
I wanna see God
now
please
ma'ham.
[Francis God]
Mister God ?
God ?
Good evening ? hum, good morning.
Hi, I'm looking for God.
That's me.
Ah ! Hi God.
Hello Antoine.
Oh you know my...
my name ?
That said, you're God, you know everything.
Anyway yoy should know why I'm here ?
No, I just have this, they wrote your name on it.
So what can I do for you ?
Well it's pretty simple, no way I reincarnate.
So I know : it's the process but I think it's abject.
Then no one asked my opinion, it's no.
We can't let you in this kind of situation you know.
We have to find a solution.
I could resurrect you.
You would ?
Well of course it's been 2000 years since I've done it last
but you know those kind of things is like bike
it sticks forever.
Won't be a problem ?
You may get famous
of course.
Then ok, let's do this.
Well, I'm just gonna ask you to fulfill this resurection form
by the book
and in the last frame
you'll write your valid reason
to ask for resurrection
Valid reason ?
Indeed, we don't resurect just to resurect.
you must have some motivations, some circunstances
some goals yet to reach
or anything that justify for us to resurrect you.
I gotta get maried today !
A wedding in the eyes of God ?
Yeah
In the eyes of me ?
it can help
but I gotta admit it's not enough to hope a resurrection
If every future husband had to resurrect...
You were not about to save a part of humanity, were you ?
No.
What must be done is looking your file.
But that's the point, I don't have any file !
Oh... It's you ?
Yes.
Look, I want to get crazy
What if we resurrect you without any file.
Well if you can it's wonderful !
I'm God, everything is possible.
We finally found your file.
Guess what ? You were among war victims from Mali.
It looks like you have a namesake at Bamako.
Anyway.
No way you can ask for reincarnation with such a file
And I see you're not faithful
Excuse me ?
Oh excuse me, I missread.
it's your future wife that...
Anyway
What ? Who what ?
no no no no, wait.
Then I don't want to resurrect !
I may have a solution
Next !