Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Hi! Welcome to The Silver Spleen. My name is Chuck Whiteman
and this is my review of THE CHILD'S EYE
3D. The 2010 film CHILD'S EYE 3D
tells the story of a group of young people vacationing in Thailand.
their return home is interrupted by a political coup,
forcing them to find lodging wherever they can. Hmmm...
this hotel seems nice... or maybe not.
Cue the thrills, the chills, and the supernatural weirdness...
in 3D. Or not depends on your disc player.
It was 3D when I saw it in the cinema: Dumb,
Dumber, and 'Damn this movie sucks.' This movie might
easily be called RAIN OF THE DUMB or BANGKOK TEDIOUS.
The plot (what little of it there is) is told in such an incompetent manner
that you find yourself being presented with situations that are obviously
intended to terrify you,
but you've been given no narrative or dramatic preparation,
much less any explanation. It's as though you're supposed to be terrified just
because you're supposed to be terrified. I didn't know that
the CCP has gone into film-making. I didn't expect much from this film
mostly because I had seen the trailer. And I was still disappointed.
To be fair, THE CHILD'S EYE 3D looks pretty nice.
Because Kuk Cho Lam is in it. It was at least well-shot;
the cinematography was pretty good, but what little acting there was
was often laughable. You want proof? The most interesting, engaging character in
the film
is a dog. Now the dog kicks all the humans' ***
in the screen charisma and believability category. You want proof of the
narrative incompetence?
Not only can the dog understand human language, to an extent that puts Lassie to
shame, the dog understands both Cantonese and Mandarin.
What an amazing dog! More proof? Rainie Yang's character,
whose name is Rainy for f@#$'s sake, points out that the worst thing she as a
pregnant woman could do
is to kill something. This concept is central to the plot of the film.
Then she kills a cockroach, and this act is never
referenced again. Not even as a teaser for a sequel.
All I can really tell you about THE CHILD'S EYE 3D is that the
titular eye is definitely brown. And not 'cause the kid's Chinese.
I can't really recommend this film in good conscience, but if you want to watch it,
don't download it.
Doesn't matter how bad the movie is, it doesn't make it okay to steal it.
In the description, there are links to where you can buy this disc
on DVD or Blu ray. I guess a 3D Blu ray would look pretty nice, but I'm not gonna
find out. I've already seen this film once. If you enjoy this review,
please leave me a comment and tell me. If you didn't enjoy it, leave me a comment and
tell me. If you enjoy these comments in general I would greatly appreciate a
subscription.
It lets me know that people are actually listening... torrent of stupidity comes out
my face.