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>>> IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR
PARENTS: IS IT OKAY TO SPY
ON YOUR KIDS?
WE LOOK AT BOTH SIDES OF THE
QUESTION WITH THE NEXT
GUEST, CRIMINAL
INVESTIGATOR, MOTHER OF TWO
TEENAGERS AND THE AUTHOR OF
"THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL."
WELCOME BACK.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> HI.
>> BEFORE WE EVEN ASK YOU
WHAT SIDE OF THE QUESTION
YOU COME DOWN ON, TELL US
BRIEFLY WHAT THE PROS AND
CONS ARE OF SPYING ON YOUR
KIDS?
>> TWO SCHOOLS OF THOUGHT.
SCHOOL OF THOUGHT THAT
BELIEVES THAT SPYING ON YOUR
KIDS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA,
BECAUSE IT'S NOT A GOOD WAY
TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM.
YOU SHOULD TRUST THEM AND
HAVE OPEN DIALOGUE.
IT JUST BUILDS RESENTMENT
AND MAKES IT MORE DIFFICULT
TO FIND OUT INFORMATION DOWN
THE ROAD.
THE OTHER SCHOOL OF THOUGHT
FEELS AS THOUGH, YOU KNOW,
THESE ARE MY KIDS.
THE HUMAN RAIN IS NOT EVEN
FULLY DEVELOPEDL IN YOU'RE
25.
THEREFORE, I NEED TO KNOW
WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY KID'S
LIFE AT ALL TIME AND AWARE
OF THE DECISION-MAKING
PROCESS AND WHAT IS
HAPPENING.
>> YOU'RE THE MOTHER OF TWO
TEENAGERS.
>> YES.
>> WHAT SIDE DO YOU COME
DOWN ON?
>> SIDE OF MONITORING.
I DON'T CALL IT SPYING.
IT CALL IT MONITORING AND
PARENTING.
>> DO THEY KNOW THAT?
THAT YOU'RE MONITORING THEM?
>> YES.
ABSOLUTELY.
THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE.
THE DIFFERENCE IS IF YOU'RE
SNEAKING AROUND OR THEY'RE
FULLY AWARE OF THE FACT THAT
MOM IS GOING TO CHECK IN ON
THINGS AND THEY EAR
COMPLETELY AWARE OF THAT.
NO SECRETS.
>> YOU STARTED THAT
CONVERSATION I BET AT AN
EARLY AGE.
>> YES, I DID.
THEY'RE AWARE I'M GOING TO
CHECK UP ON THINGS.
I'LL MAKE SURE I KNOW THEIR
FRIEND'S PARENTS AND I MAKE
SURE I MONITOR THEIR ONLINE
ACTIVITIES.
I'M OBTOP OF THINGS AT ALL
TIMES.
>> TALK ABOUT COMPUTERS
BECAUSE KIDS ARE ON IT ALL
THE TIME, DOING HOMEWORK OR
JUST DOING SOCIAL NETWORKING
AND CHATTING OR LOOKING AT
WEBSITES.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WHEN IT
COMES TO THE COMPUTER.
ONE THING IS PUT IN A PUBLIC
PLACE.
>> EASY, RIGHT OFF THE TOP.
MAKE SURE THE COMPUTER IS
SOMEWHERE VISIBLE.
KIDS ARE LESS LIKELY TO
ACCESS INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT
IF THEY KNOW MOM IS LOOKING
OVER THE SIDE WHILE COOKING
DINNER SAYING HEY, WHAT IS
THAT SITE YOU'RE LOOKING AT?
THAT SELF-MONITORING THING
KICKS IN.
THEY BECOME MORE AWARE OF
THE FACT THAT THEY'RE BEING
WATCHED, JUST LIKE IN THE
WORKPLACE.
PEOPLE KNOW THEY'RE WATCHED.
YOU'RE NOT RESENTFUL ABOUT
YOUR BOSS WATCHING YOU, BUT
YOU'RE BEING WATCHED.
>> MOM CAN'T ALWAYS PEEK
AROUND THE CORNER, THOUGH.
SO HOW DO YOU MONITOR THE
SITES THEY VISIT AND HOW DO
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING?
>> YOU ALWAYS DO A HISTORY
CHECK.
MAKE YOURSELF THE
ADMINISTRATOR ON THE
COMPUTER TO ADD WHATEVER
SOFTWARE IS NECESSARY.
IF YOU FEEL AS THOUGH THERE
ARE A LOT OF THINGS GOING ON
YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT,
THERE ARE ALL TYPE OF WEB
PROGRAMS.
E-BLASTER AND WEB WATCHER TO
GIVE YOU REAL-TIME SNAPSHOTS
OF WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE
COMPUTER YOU INSTALLED THE
SOFTWARE ON.
AND NET NANNY THAT KEEP
YOU -- KEEP THE COMPUTER
FROM ACCESSING CERTAIN SITES
YOU DEEMED INAPPROPRIATE FOR
THE COMPUTER.
>> WHAT ABOUT THEIR MySpace,
FACEBOOK PAGE?
HOW DO YOU MONITOR THAT?
>> I'M A FRIEND ON BOTH OF
MY KID'S PLACES.
OLDER SON, FRIEND OSHIS
MySpace AND MY YOUNGER SON'S
FACEBOOK FRIEND.
I DON'T MAKE ANY NOISE
THERE, BUT IT ALLOW MESS TO
KEEP AN EYE ON WHAT THE
CONVERSATION IS AND WHAT IS
GOING ON.
THEY KNOW I'M NOT GOING TO
GO BACK AND MAKE ALL KIND OF
NOISE AND CAUSE PROBLEMS,
BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I NEED
TO MONITOR WHAT IS GOING ON.
>> THE KIDS HAVE YOU LISTED
AS A FRIEND.
SOME KIDS MIGHT SAY TO THE
PARENTS DON'T YOU TRUST ME?
WHY ARE YOU SPYING ON ME?
DON'T YOU THINK I'LL DO THE
RIGHT THING?
>> IT'S NOT ABOUT TRUST.
IT'S ABOUT THE FACT WE'RE IN
A NEW WORLD NOW.
IT'S A NEW SOCIETY.
EVERY TIME YOU TURN ON THE
COMPUTER, YOU OPEN UP YOUR
HOME TO MILLIONS OF
STRANGERS.
IT'S JUST ABOUT MONITORING
AND BEING AWARE OF WITH AN
IS GOING ON.
THIS IS A NEW VOYEURISTIC
ERA, WHERE IT'S NOT
IMPORTANT TO DO UNLESS
YOU'RE BEING WATCHED DOING
IT.
TWITTER AND WEB CAMS.
AND YOU'VE GOT TO BE
VIGILANT PAYING ATTENTION
WHAT ABOUT IS GOING ON.
>> KIDS ARE SO NAIVE
SOMETIMES.
>> THEY ARE.
>> THEY DON'T REALIZE --
THEY'RE NOT FEARFUL AT ALL
THAT SOMEONE COULD BE
FINDING THEM.
BUT PEOPLE CAN GET ONLINE
AND LOOK FOR ANYBODY
NOWADAYS.
>> YOU HAVE 1,000 FRIENDS
ONLINE.
DO YOU REALLY KNOW 1,000
PEOPLE BY NAME?
YOU DON'T.
IT'S BEING ABLE TO MONITOR
THEM CLOSELY.
>> WHAT ABOUT THE VIDEO
GAMES?
A LOT OF THOSE OF
INTERACTIVE.
YOU PLAY WITH SOMEBODY
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
>> I DON'T THINK IT'S GOOD
IDEA TO OPEN UP ONLINE
GAMING OPTIONS FOR YOUR
CHILD UNLESS THEY -- ORL IN
THEY COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY
UNDERSTAND INTERNET SAFETY
GUIDELINES.
I DON'T THINK IT'S GOOD
IDEA.
>> CELL PHONE.
>> CELL PHONES?
>> SOMETHING IS JUST AS
SMALL AS MONITORING THE TIME
TEXT MESSAGES ARE COMING IN
OR GOING OUT.
IS IT DURING MATH OR SCIENCE
CLASS?
2:00 IN THE MORNING?
THAT'S SOMETHING YOU DEEM A
PROBLEM, THAT'S SOMETHING
YOU NEED TO MONITOR WITH
YOUR KIDS AND MAKE SURE
YOU'RE AWARE OF SOMETHING SO
SIMPLE.
THERE ARE PROGRAMS,
MYMOBILEWATCHDOG.COM OFFERS
A SERVICE FOR $9.99 PER
PHONE, PER EACH OF YOUR
KID'S PHONES AND IT WILL
GIVE YOU A COMPLETE
BREAKDOWN OF ALL TEXT
MESSAGES AND EVERYTHING
GOING, CONTENT OF MESSAGES
AND EVERYTHING.
IF YOU FEEL THAT'S SOMETHING
THAT YOU NEED TO BE AWARE OF
THAT,'S A RESOURCE.
>> DOES EXAMINE IT CAN CELL
PHONE BILL GIVE YOU USEFUL
INFORMATION?
>> IT DOES.
IT GIVES INFORMATION ABOUT
WHO THEY'RE TALKING TO, WHAT
TIMES THEY'RE TALKING TO THE
PEOPLE, FOR HOW LONG.
IF THERE IS A PARTICULAR
NUMBER THAT'S LONG DISTANCE
OR SOMEONE THEY MET ONLINE,
IT GIVES YOU A CLUE MAYBE
THERE IS COMMUNICATION GOING
ON THAT MAY BE
INAPPROPRIATE.
>> DO YOU SPEAK WITH YOUR
KID'S -- YOUR KID'S FRIEND'S
PARENTS AND KEEP OPEN
COMMUNICATION WITH THEM?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
THAT'S OLD FASHIONED
PARENTING.
THAT'S NOT TEXT MESSAGING
THEIR PARENTS OR FACEBOOKING
THEM.
THAT'S KNOCKING ON THE DOOR
AND SAYING HEY, THIS IS MY
KID.
I'M RYAN'S MOM.
CEDRIC'S MOM.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
THAT'S BEING ABLE TO HAVE A
CONVERSATION AND DIALOGUE
WITH THEM.
ESTABLISHING A PARENTAL
NETWORK.
JUST BECAUSE YOUR CHILD HAS
NOT TOLD YOU SOMETHING GOING
ON IN THEIR LIFE, IT DOESN'T
MEAN THAT THE FRIEND HAS NOT
TOLD THAT PARENT.
YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU
HAVE OPEN COMMUNICATION AND
DIALOGUE.
PARENTS SO BUSY WANTING TO
BE THE BEST FRIENDS WITH
THEIR CHILDREN, AND ARE
FORGETTING THE FACT THEY
NEED TO PARENT.
>> WE NEED TO POINT OUT TO
THE VIEWERS ALL THE TIPS YOU
GAVE, WEBSITES AND THE
SOFTWARE, SPYWARE, WHATEVER,
YOU CAN FIND IT ON THE
WEBSITE.
AS USUAL, GREAT INFORMATION.
>> THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
SEE YOU FOLKS NEXT WEEK.
>> ANYTIME.
>> TAKE CARE.
>> ON "THE VIEW FROM THE
BAY" --
>> LET US BE YOUR GUIDE.
>> MONDAY, INSIDE LOOK AT
NAPA VALLEY'S NEWLY RESTORED
WINE HOUSE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> GOOD TIMES.
>> WOMEN RULE.
>> OF COURSE, GOOD FOOD.
>> "THE VIEW FROM THE BAY"
MONDAY.