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[ Eerie music plays ]
Science is an impartial force that when put to good use will soon solve all of our problems.
While certain unscrupulous governments are most certainly experimenting -
- with the naturally occurring zombie producing virus for economic and military gain -
- rest assured our country has it's top scientists working around the clock -
- to find better applications for the wondrous byproducts of the atomic age. [ Zombie moans ]
So remember kids, be good citizens and trust science to do it's job!
[ Eerie music swells and trails out ]