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- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY...
- LITTLE TOWN, NEW JERSEY.
LOOK AT MY BABIES.
THE LITTLE TOWN RESTAURANT GIVES THEM
THE OPPORTUNITY TO DRAW A SALARY.
- ARE YOU WRITING ABOUT WHEN I WAS BORN?
- OF COURSE.
I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU WHEN YOU GET MARRIED.
- IN A NUTSHELL, THE BASIC PREMISE OF THE BOOK IS?
- IT'S THE BIBLE FOR MARRIAGE.
- WHY ISN'T IT WRITTEN YET?
- I HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN SIX [bleep] YEARS, BRO.
- SIX YEARS? - I SWEAR. YEAH.
- HOW ABOUT SOCIAL, LIKE, NETWORKING
FOR GAY AND LESBIANS?
- I WON'T GO ONLINE. THEY'RE ALL FREAKS.
- NO.
- I LOVE YOU.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR I FEEL HOPEFUL
THAT MY BROTHER AND I COULD WORK THINGS OUT.
OKAY.
- THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.
- YOU GUYS SHOULD HUG EACH OTHER MORE.
YOU'RE ITALIAN.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
- I THINK SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM
BEFORE IT GETS BETTER.
IT WAS ALL ABOUT JACQUELINE YESTERDAY.
- YOU NEED TO STOP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR FAMILY ISSUES.
- I CAME FOR YOUR FAMILY, AND I CAN'T LEAVE MINE BEHIND.
- I DON'T WANT THEM IN OUR LIFE. - I--
- LISTEN, END THE BULL[bleep].
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- JACQUELINE REALLY HURT ME BAD.
- LOVE ME OR HATE ME, I ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH.
- SEXY LIFE, LOYAL WIFE.
TAKE A PAGE FROM MY BOOK.
- HATERS ARE GONNA HATE.
BUT I JUST LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
- I'VE FACED MY SHARE OF CHALLENGES,
BUT I'M TOUGHER THAN I LOOK.
- IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT, GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN.
- GONNA GO SEE DADDY.
OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THE MUD.
REALLY?
- GOOD.
PUT THAT BACK THERE!
ALL RIGHT?
- DON'T GO IN THE BIG MUD-- NO, NO, NO, JOEY, NO!
LET ME--OH, NO! NO.
AAH!
NOW THAT WE'RE BACK FROM THE RETREAT,
EVERYTHING'S GOING SO WELL.
BUSINESS-WISE, JOE IS JUST ABOUT DONE WITH HIS THIRD BUILDING,
AND I'M FINISHING UP MY BOOK THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON.
STAY BY ME.
- DON'T GIVE HIM THE CLEAN DIRT.
GIVE THEM THE BAD DIRT.
[phone rings]
LEAVE THE GOOD DIRT.
HELLO?
YEAH, ROB.
YEAH, I WANT TO--I'LL DO IT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME IN?
JUST NORMAL SHORTS?
- HE'S GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
JOE!
- OKAY, ROB, YOU GOT IT.
- IS IT ALWAYS THIS DIRTY HERE?
- NO. THANK YOU.
I NEEDED THI--YOU'RE MY SAVIOR. [children yell]
THANKS FOR THE PLANS.
ROB FROM SIZZLE TAN JUST CALLED ME.
- TO DO THE BILLBOARD?
- YEAH. - GOOD.
- YOU IN? - NO, BABY.
THAT'S YOUR THING.
- MELISSA AND I HAVE A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO BE ON
A BILLBOARD ON A HIGHWAY FOR A TANNING SALON.
I'M REALLY NOT A BRAGGER, BUT I AM PERFECT.
- I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS TO YOURSELF.
- WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO DO IT? - BECAUSE I JUST--
- YOU NORMALLY WOULD DO IT WITH ME.
IS IT BECAUSE TERESA DID IT AND YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT?
- YOU KNOW WHAT? YEAH.
I DON'T WANT YOUR SISTER THINKING
I'M DOING ANYTHING TO SPITE HER.
I DON'T NEED ANY MORE DRAMA.
- WHO CARES WHO DID SOMETHING BEFORE?
I WANT YOU TO DO IT WITH ME.
- I KNOW, BABY DOLL, BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.
THE SIZZLE TAN BILLBOARD IS GREAT,
BUT AT THE SAME TIME,
I KNOW HIS SISTER DID AN AD FOR THEM.
- I TAN.
I SPRAY.
AND I BRING THE HEAT TO JERSEY AT SIZZLE TAN.
- TERESA LIKES TO IMPLANT
THAT I DO THINGS AFTER SHE DOES.
I MEAN, IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT
I DON'T WANT TO DIP MY HANDS INTO.
WE'RE IN A GOOD PLACE.
PLUS, I HAVE MY OWN PHOTO SHOOT COMING UP FOR MY BOOK,
SO I'D RATHER JUST NOT DO IT.
- ALL RIGHT, SO LISTEN, I NEED SOME HELP.
YOU GONNA COME WORK OR WHAT?
- I CAN DO ANYTHING, BABE.
- ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING?
LET ME SEE IF YOU CAN RIDE THIS MACHINE.
GO AHEAD. - OW, OW, OW.
- OKAY. WATCH OUT.
- GINO, LOOK AT MOMMY.
- OKAY, NOW, GO AHEAD.
PLAY WITH IT.
- WHOO-HOO!
[whooping, shrieking]
- NO, NO, HEY, HEY, WATCH THE WALL!
- [shrieks]
MAKE IT STOP.
[shrieks] GET ME OUT.
- YEAH, YOU THINK THIS [bleep]'S EASY?
STICK TO MAKING ME DINNER.
- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OH, MY GOD, I AM COOKING RIGHT NOW.
YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRESS YOUR OWN BARBIES.
- I CAN'T.
- MOMMY.
- LET'S SEE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.
THREE, FOUR, FIVE.
THERE'S 11 OF US.
FOUR ADULTS.
- I LOVE HAVING FAMILY OVER.
- ARE YOU EXCITED ANTONIA'S COMING OVER?
AND GINO AND JOEY?
- I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU.
YOU PLAY WITH JOEY.
JOEY'S SO CUTE!
- IT'S BEEN A REALLY LONG TIME
SINCE MY BROTHER'S BEEN OVER AT MY HOUSE FOR DINNER.
BUT WE WORKED THROUGH A LOT ON THE RETREAT.
MY KIDS ARE SUPER EXCITED TO SEE THEIR COUSINS
AND FOR IT TO BE LIKE OLD TIMES.
ARE YOU GONNA COOK FOR YOUR HUSBAND WHEN YOU GET MARRIED?
- REAL-- [laughs]
I LIKE THAT.
- SO TERESA CALLED YOU FROM THE RETREAT.
- YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
FOR TERESA TO CALL ME IS LIKE A MAYDAY.
- NO, SHE TRUSTS YOUR OPINION AND--
- BUT IT WASN'T MY INTENTION TO GO AND HEAL THE WORLD.
I WAS JUST GOING--YOU KNOW, SO THEY DON'T KILL EACH OTHER.
- YEAH.
[doorbell rings]
- SIT.
COME ON, YOU CAN SIT NEXT TO ME.
- HI. - HEY.
- YOU LOOK GOOD. - THANK YOU.
- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD.
COME IN. WE'RE SITTING DOWN IN HERE
TALKING ABOUT THE WEEKEND.
- YOU PROBABLY WOULD HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO HANDLE IT.
YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN UPSET
BECAUSE THE SECOND THAT WE OPENED THE DOOR,
SHE WAS UPSET ABOUT YOUR TWEET.
- JACQUELINE'S BEEN HAVING A HARD TIME WITH NICK TOO,
SO SHE JUST WANTED TO STAY HOME. - REALLY?
REALLY? A HARD TIME WITH NICK?
AND SHE WAS TWEETING TWO DAYS AGO ABOUT ME.
- WHY DOES SHE BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING
AND HATE ME SO MUCH?
YOU KNOW, LIKE, SHE CAN'T LET IT GO.
- I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT WENT WRONG WITH YOU GUYS,
BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT WE ALL MADE UP
AND THAT THINGS ARE BETTER.
AND WE'RE BACK TO SUNDAY DINNERS.
ISN'T THAT GOOD?
- SO DID YOU GUYS GET TO THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM?
- I THINK SO. - LIKE, WHERE DID IT START?
- DR. V THOUGHT THAT NONE OF US COMMUNICATE,
WHERE IT'S ALL HE SAID, SHE SAID, HE SAID, SHE SAID.
SO I SAID IT RIGHT TO TERESA'S FACE.
I SAID, "LISTEN, I WANT TO TRUST YOU,
BUT IT'S GONNA TAKE ME A LITTLE WHILE,"
AND SHE UNDERSTOOD THAT AND WE HUGGED AND--
- OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS HUGGED? - WE HUGGED.
- SO AT THE END OF THE NIGHT, ROSIE COMES UP WITH THIS THING--
THIS TRUST FALL, AND TERESA'S LIKE,
"CAROLINE, I HAVE TO CATCH YOU."
SO I SAID, UM, "ALL RIGHT, UNDER A CONDITION.
YOU HAVE TO MAKE AMENDS WITH JACQUELINE."
I MADE IT VERY CLEAR.
I SAID, "YOU HAVE TO CALL JACQUELINE.
"ADMIT TO YOUR WRONGS AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
THAT'S MY TERMS."
SHE SAID YES.
- SHE'S GONNA FREAKING CALL ME?
OH, NO, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.
- JACQUELINE SAYS SHE'S OVER TERESA.
THAT'S PARTIALLY TRUE.
BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT LITTLE THING MIGHT SET HER OFF.
- YOU REALLY ARE A MORON.
- ARE WE GONNA GET INTO THIS RIGHT NOW?
STOP IT. GIMME THAT PHONE.
- JACQUELINE IS A COMPLETE TIME BOMB RIGHT NOW,
AND FOR HER SENSE OF SANITY, SHE NEEDS CLOSURE.
BECAUSE SHE CANNOT GIVE THE BEST OF HERSELF TO NICHOLAS
IF SHE HAS TO WORRY ABOUT TERESA.
- IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE EVERYONE ON GOOD TERMS.
- I DON'T THINK WE CAN EVEN ASK JACQUELINE FOR THAT.
I THINK IF JACQUELINE CAN GET IN THE PLACE WITH TERESA
WHERE I AM, LIKE, HEY, HOW YOU DOING?
HAVE A NICE LIFE... - CIVIL.
- THAT'S IT. - RIGHT.
- THAT'S IT. - YOU CAN'T ASK
FOR MORE THAN THAT.
- AS LONG AS SHE'S READY NOW TO, LIKE, LET GO
OF HATE AND EVERYTHING, FINE.
BUT IF YOU'RE NOT SINCERE, JUST DON'T BOTHER.
I'VE "MADE UP" WITH TERESA BEFORE.
I BELIEVED THAT SHE WAS BEING SINCERE.
- YOU KNOW, I'D LIKE FOR IT TO GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS.
- DO YOU MEAN IT?
- I MEAN IT.
- LATER THAT NIGHT, I OVERHEARD YOU SAYING, "I HATE JACQUELINE.
I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT HER EFFIN' FACE."
I REALIZE NOW MY FRIENDSHIP WITH TERESA WAS NOT REAL,
AND I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD EVER BELIEVE
THAT SHE'S BEING SINCERE AGAIN.
- IF SHE REACHES OUT TO YOU, GO WITH IT.
SEE WHAT HAPPENS, ALL RIGHT?
YOU HAVE TO GIVE YOURSELF AND HER THE OPPORTUNITY
TO, YOU KNOW, RIGHT THE WRONGS.
AND IF IT DOESN'T WORK, THAT'S IT.
- OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS A CRAZY WORLD.
- MOM!
- YEAH?
- THEY'RE COMING. - [whines]
- HOLD YOUR HORSES.
- [screams]
- HI! - HI, GABRIELLA.
- HEY. - HI, HONEY.
- [screams] - I MISSED YOU.
HOW ARE YOU?
I MISSED YOU. - HI, CUTIE PIE.
- OH, THOSE ARE YOUR COUSINS? [laughs]
- YOU. - HI, CUTIE PIE.
- SHE GOT SO TALL, TERESA.
- GIA? - OH, MY GOD.
- YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME IN, LIKE, A YEAR.
- YOU'RE LIKE A LITTLE TEENAGER.
I WANT TO TAKE YOU OUT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
WHERE WE GOING? - I DON'T KNOW.
- WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE DOING?
I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FUN WITH YOU.
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU.
GIA'S MY GODDAUGHTER.
BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION OF THE PARENTS,
I AM NOT AS CLOSE TO GIA AS I SHOULD BE.
AND I'M GONNA ADMIT THAT.
- COME ON, EVERYBODY.
SIT DOWN IN THE DINING ROOM.
COME AND EAT.
[all scream]
- I'M SURE--THEY PROBABLY WANT TO MAKE SURE
THAT WE'RE ALL GOOD BEFORE THEY COME INTO THIS--
- DON'T YOU WANT THIS FOR OUR CHILDREN?
- OF COURSE I DO.
KEEP BEING A GOOD LITTLE GIRL,
AND THEN WE COULD ALL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS.
- LOOK WHO'S TALKING.
IN ORDER TO BE A FAMILY,
YOU NEED TO LET THINGS ROLL OFF YOUR BACK.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GONNA BE A GOOD SISTER-IN-LAW
AND KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT SO WE CAN BE A FAMILY.
- YOU WANT PASTA WITH BUTTER? - I DON'T WANT THAT.
- YOU WANT THE OTHER ONE?
GIVE ME YOUR PLATE.
- THAT'S IT. NOT TOO MUCH.
I HAVE THIS PHOTO SHOOT COMING UP WITH, YOU KNOW, SIZZLE TANS.
- OH, REALLY?
I DID, RIGHT.
[laughs]
THAT'S COOL, JOEY.
- THINGS HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER BETWEEN TERESA AND I.
AND I DON'T WANT HER TO SEE SIZZLE TAN AS I WAS COPYING.
SO I WANTED TO TELL HER.
AND IT SEEMS LIKE SHE CAN BE PROUD OF HER LITTLE BROTHER
SHOWING THOSE PECS. [laughs]
- SHOW HIM YOUR MUSCLES.
SHOW ZIO JOE YOUR MUSCLES.
- WOW!
- COMING UP NEXT...
- I STOPPED BY JACQUELINE'S HOUSE,
TOLD HER THAT YOU MADE THAT PROMISE TO CAROLINE.
- ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY HOLD UP THEIR GLASSES, OR--
I JUST WANT TO SAY I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH.
ALL RIGHT, SALUD. - TO FAMILY.
- CHEERS, GUYS. CIN-CIN. CIN-CIN.
LOVE YOU GUYS. [kiss noises]
[children scream]
- THEY'RE, LIKE, DONE EATING ALREADY.
ALL RIGHT, LOVE YOU.
- YOU GUYS WANT ANY MORE WINE OR ANYTHING?
- YEAH, I'LL HAVE A LITTLE BIT MORE.
SO THEN I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I STOPPED BY JACQUELINE'S HOUSE.
I TOLD HER THAT, YOU KNOW, WE HAD MADE UP AND EVERYTHING,
AND THEN I JUST TOLD HER THAT
YOU MADE THAT PROMISE TO CAROLINE.
- YOU TOLD HER THAT?
- CAROLINE TOLD HER.
- I'M JUST OVER IT NOW.
- HOW LONG WERE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER?
- OVER TEN YEARS.
- TEN YEARS, SO THAT MEANS SOMETHING.
- LISTEN, SHE HAD SAID THAT MY HUSBAND CHEATED.
- HONEY, YOU WALKED IN ON YOUR HUSBAND
WHEN HE HAD SOMEONE ON THE DESK IN HIS OFFICE.
YOU TOLD ME THAT. - OH, REALLY?
- OH, MY GOD! - YEAH. AND YOUR BABYSITTER?
HER TOO. - OH, MY GOD!
SEEING WHAT SHE DID TO OTHER PEOPLE, I GET IT.
YOU KNOW, WHEN SHE GETS TO THAT DARK PLACE, RIGHT AWAY,
YOU KNOW, SHE STARTS TWITTERING.
YOU KNOW, I'VE SEEN THE PATTERN.
I'VE SEEN HER DO IT TO HER OWN SISTER-IN-LAW DINA.
- I SAVED YOUR *** AND DID NOT EVEN TELL HER IT WAS YOU
UNTIL THIS MOMENT. YOU'RE LYING.
- JACQUELINE-- - I'M GONNA TELL THE TRUTH.
- OKAY. - I'M NOT SURE WHERE DINA'S AT
QUITE FRANKLY, BECAUSE I DON'T
HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER RIGHT NOW.
- I'VE SEEN HER DO IT TO DANIELLE.
JACQUELINE, SHE, LIKE, PLAYS, LIKE, THE QUIET MOUSE.
MEANWHILE, OH, MADONNA MIA, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
SHE GOT 800 PAGES FAXED TO HER
TO FIND OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT DANIELLE STAUB.
- I READ YOUR COURT RECORDS, DANIELLE.
AND LEFT HER FOR DEAD!
- WHO HAS THAT MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS?
I'M HER THIRD VICTIM AND NOW I REALIZE IT NOW.
- ALL RIGHT, COME ON, MOVE ON, MOVE ON.
- I NEED TO TELL THEM. - I DON'T WANNA [bleep] HEAR
NO *** [bleep]. IT'S BORING.
JUST MOVE ON TO THE NEXT THING.
I CAN'T HEAR THIS CRAP.
- TA-DA! - WHOO!
[both laugh] - THERE YOU GO.
- LOOK, SHE'S-- - SHE'S TRYING TO TAP.
- SHE'S TAP-- - [laughs]
- WE'RE ALL IN A GOOD PLACE AS A FAMILY,
AND I'M ENJOYING THIS MOMENT.
TERESA AND JACQUELINE, THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LITTLE ISSUES,
BUT IT'S GOT TO STOP.
THEY WERE GOOD FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME.
IT'S A SHAME.
SALUD, MAN.
THAT'S GOOD. VERY NICE.
IT WAS A NICE NIGHT.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING US OVER.
- SALUD.
[drill whirs]
- MR. HAYES? - SIR?
- WHAT DO YOU GOT WORKING HERE, BRO?
- REMEMBER THE OLD STYLE PAILS? - YEAH.
- THE SHOVEL, OBVIOUSLY A LITTLE BIGGER,
BUT WE'RE THINKING OF DOING A HUMONGOUS ICE CREAM SUNDAE
WITH A BIG SPARKLER CANDLE OUT OF IT
AND LITERALLY THE SHOVEL STICKING RIGHT OUT THE TOP.
- THE SHOVEL? - KIND OF A DUMB QUESTION.
GETTING IT FROM, LIKE, THE SERVER TRAY TO THE TABLE,
I FEEL LIKE IS GONNA MESS IT UP A LITTLE BIT.
- WE GOT TO PLAY AROUND WITH IT.
- BUT DEFINITELY KEEP WORKING ON BALLS.
- WHEN DO YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA OPEN?
- WE'RE WITHIN A 30-DAY WINDOW.
- THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE I'M STARVING.
THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH LITTLE TOWN RIGHT NOW IS OPENING.
YOU KNOW, EVERY DAY THAT GOES BY,
IT BECOMES TOUGHER AND TOUGHER,
BECAUSE ULTIMATELY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
IS START PAYING THAT RENT,
AND IT'S NOT ALL THAT EASY
WHEN YOU'RE NOT OPEN.
- THAT'S GOOD. THAT'LL BE COOL
BECAUSE WE'LL DO BANDS AND STUFF.
AND GOT TO HAVE A BIG OPENING PARTY.
- I THINK DAD'S GONNA BE, LIKE, THE NUMBER ONE CUSTOMER,
BECAUSE HE'S ALL INTO THIS KIND OF [bleep].
- THIS PLACE IS SO NOT BROWNSTONE.
- EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK HERE.
THE WHOLE BROWNSTONE STAFF IS CALLING...
- [laughs] - TO JUMP SHIP.
- YOU TAKE ANYBODY YET?
- MAYBE ONE BARTENDER.
- I WOULDN'T LOOK AT IT AS TAKING ANYBODY FROM THERE
AS MUCH AS IT IS-- - FREEING SOMEBODY FROM THERE.
- YEAH. [both laugh]
- AL AND I ARE PARTNERS IN THE RESTAURANT,
SO WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH GETTING LICENSES, GETTING PERMITS,
AND STAFFING FOR THE FIRST TIME.
YOU'RE STARTING SOMETHING BRAND NEW,
SO IT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE TO HAVE,
BUT I DON'T SEE IT AS STRESSFUL.
IT'S JUST OUR BABY.
THE LAST THING WE NEED IS STORIES GETTING OUT
THAT IT'S MORE FUN HERE.
DAD WILL BE HERE WITH AN APRON IN TWO DAYS.
- SO WHAT'S UP? YOU LOOK TIRED A LITTLE BIT.
- TIRED, JUST BEEN A LOT GOING ON, YOU KNOW?
JUST IS FUNNY HOW--YOU KNOW, THE WAY THINGS TURNED OUT.
- YEAH, WELL, LOOK HOW FAR WE'VE COME.
- SO AFTER THE RETREAT,
SEEING THE HURT BETWEEN TERESA AND JOE,
BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T APPROVE OF EACH OTHER'S PARTNER,
I DON'T EVER WANT THAT TO BE AN ISSUE FOR ME AND ROSIE.
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WERE DATING THAT GIRL,
AND YOU KNEW I DIDN'T LIKE HER-- - MM.
- I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING,
AND AFTER TERESA SAID
THAT I NEVER APPROVED OF YOU BEING GAY...
- I FELT LIKE I DIDN'T FIT IN.
- NO, YOU DID FIT IN.
- WHEN ROSIE SAID SHE FELT LEFT OUT,
THAT'S BECAUSE KATHY LEFT HER OUT.
SHE HATED THE FACT THAT HER SISTER WAS GAY.
- I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU BEING GAY
HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW I FELT.
- LISTEN, I DIDN'T THINK THAT YOU HAD A PROBLEM
WITH ME BEING GAY, BUT YOU KNEW I LOVED HER.
EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE HER,
YOU JUST SHOULD HAVE JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT.
- I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET HURT.
- JUST, IT'S HARD, KATH, REALLY, TO TRY TO GET SOMEBODY.
I'M 45 YEARS OLD AND VERY ALONE.
AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING THROUGH THIS LIFE
WITH NO ONE BY MY SIDE.
WHEN IS IT GONNA HAPPEN FOR ME?
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH FIVE OR TEN OF THEM
BEFORE YOU FIND THE RIGHT ONE.
AND I NEED TO HAVE SOME FUN.
- RIGHT.
- [laughs]
- I HATE IT.
- NICE ATTITUDE.
AL'S NOT EXCITED ABOUT THE HOBOKEN APARTMENT YET,
BECAUSE EVERY TIME WE GO, WE GOT TO MAKE SURE
YOU BRING YOUR CLOTHES, BECAUSE IT'S NOT HOME YET.
IT'S NOT HOME FOR A REASON.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT IT TO BE HOME.
- GOOD EVENING.
- HELLO.
- YO!
ALBIE.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- THIS IS NICE, WHAT WE GOT GOING ON HERE.
- GOT IT FROM VITO'S DELI.
SO WHAT'S GOING ON?
HOW WAS WORK TODAY?
- WE HAVE A BIG TRIP COMING UP
TO FLORIDA FOR B.L.K.
AND WE'RE DOING EVERYTHING WE NEED TO DO
TO GET THIS LITTLE TOWN FINALLY OPEN.
IT'S GONNA BE NUTS.
- WORKAHOLIC.
DOESN'T ENJOY HIMSELF.
I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU'RE DRIVEN
TO WANT TO DO SOMETHING,
BUT YOU CANNOT BE SO FOCUSED AND DRIVEN
ON ONE ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE
THAT YOU LET ANOTHER ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE GO.
- I'LL WORRY ABOUT ME AND MY HAPPINESS
AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF WHEN I'M READY TO BE HAPPY.
RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT READY TO BE HAPPY.
B.L.K. IS STILL NOT IN A POSITION
WHERE WE CAN TAKE MONEY FROM IT.
AND LITTLE TOWN IS BASICALLY A CONSTRUCTION SITE AT THIS POINT.
AND IF WE SCREW THIS UP, I'M GONNA BE 26, 27 YEARS OLD
WITH A RESUME OF WHAT?
A COMPANY THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT?
I MEAN, I DON'T WANT THAT.
PUSHING UP A BRICK WALL EVERY FREAKIN' DAY,
AND IT'S NOT MOVING, YOU GET TIRED.
- YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF.
WE LIVE TO THE MINUTE THE EXACT SAME LIFE.
SO IF I'M NOT TIRED AND I'M NOT NERVOUS,
THEN WHY ARE YOU?
BAT[bleep] CRAZY.
AL WAS ALWAYS THE MODEL FAMILY MEMBER IN OUR FAMILY.
LAUREN AND I ARE A LITTLE BIT MORE UNDER THE RADAR.
IN SOME WAYS THAT MAKES THINGS MUCH EASIER FOR US.
I'VE WANTED TO BE ALBIE MY ENTIRE LIFE
AND NOW IT JUST DOESN'T APPEAL TO ME.
- WELL, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
ONCE IN A WHILE, YOU GOT TO SIT DOWN,
FOLD YOUR FEET, AND HAVE A SANDWICH
WITH YOUR BACK AGAINST THE WALL AND RELAX.
- OKAY, AND YOU SAID THAT.
YOU SAID THAT-- - ONCE IN A WHILE.
- AND NOW YOU'RE DONE.
HE'S GONNA DO IT HIS WAY IN HIS OWN TIME.
YOU CAN'T TELL HIM WHEN TO SLOW DOWN,
NO MORE THAN YOU COULD TELL ME TO SLOW DOWN 20 YEARS AGO.
OKAY?
I DON'T WANT TO GET MY BALLS BROKE
BECAUSE I'M MOTIVATED.
I DON'T THINK HE WANTS TO GET HIS BALLS BROKE
FROM HEARING PEOPLE TELL HIM,
"YOU'RE OBSESSED. YOU'RE CRAZY."
YOU KNOW, "YOU GOT TO GET A LIFE.
YOU GOT TO"-- JUST SHUT THE EFF UP.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GONNA GO TURN THE TELEVISION ON NOW.
- COMING UP NEXT...
- JACQUELINE?
- YES.
- IT'S KIND OF LIKE A MOMENT IN TIME WE NEED TO REMEMBER.
MY FIRST BOOK COVER SHOOT. - MM-HMM. I KNOW.
IT'S, LIKE, SURREAL, A LITTLE BIT.
- HI. - HEY.
WE'RE JUST ABOUT READY FOR YOU.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK OF THIS,
BUT I WANTED TO DO, LIKE, A BIG MAN'S WHITE SHIRT.
I'M DONE WRITING MY BOOK AND MY GOAL FOR THE COVER
IS FOR IT TO BE FRESH WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SEXINESS.
I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY IT'S YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION
OF WHAT'S TO COME IN THE BOOK,
SO I NEED TO MELISSA-NIZE THE SHOOT.
WELL, THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR BEST COVER, RIGHT, GUYS?
- YOU'RE GONNA LOOK GREAT.
DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT. - THANK YOU.
- HERE HE COMES.
- YEAH, BABY. - YEAH.
[laughter]
- DID YOU OIL UP ALREADY?
- I PUT SOME LOTION ON. NO GOOD?
WHAT, YOU GOT BETTER OIL? - [laughs]
- YOU DID PUSH-UPS OR SOMETHING.
- YOU KNOW, SHAME ON MELISSA
FOR NOT TAKING THE OPPORTUNITY
TO BE ON A PHOTO SHOOT WITH ME
BECAUSE TERESA HAD A COMMERCIAL
OR SHE DID SOMETHING WITH SIZZLE TANS.
I DON'T CARE.
[laughter]
- THAT'S GOOD.
- NOW HE'S GOING. LOOK AT HIM. - HE PRACTICED.
- WHOO. - ALL RIGHT.
- FEELING IT, MAN, YOU KNOW?
PUMPED.
I'M LOOKING GOOD.
I COULD BE, LIKE, THE NEXT CALVIN KLEIN MODEL.
- HE WAS BORN TO TAN.
- SIZZLE. SIZZLE.
- MELISSA, YOU LOOK GREAT.
- THANK YOU. - [laughs]
JUST ONE STEP AT A TIME, VERY INTENTIONAL.
- YOU CAN PUT--PUT A LOT OF FAN FOR THIS.
- HERE, GO AHEAD. - BLAST THE FAN AT ME.
- BAM. - [laughs]
THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO.
IN THIS BOOK, I WANT TO SHOW PEOPLE
WHY OUR MARRIAGE IS SO HOT AND SEXY.
THIS IS WHY IT'S WORKING FOR US.
- SHOW A LITTLE ATTITUDE.
- MORE FAN. - YES.
- UH-OH, IS THAT MELISSA?
- HOLD UP, HOLD UP, JOE.
HOLD UP. - HERE WE GO.
- MY GOD.
THIS IS TOUGH, YOU KNOW?
IT'S NOTHING LIKE MY FILET MIGNON.
BUT ONCE IN A WHILE, YOU NEED A HOT DOG, DIRTY DOG.
- [laughter]
- HE'S GONNA GET IN TROUBLE.
- YEAH.
- GO AHEAD, FAN, PLEASE?
THANK YOU.
THIS ISN'T REALLY BLOWING ME ENOUGH YET.
GIVE IT TO ME.
I WILL SUFFER.
- PLEASE! - WHOA!
- LOOK AT HIM. - WHOA!
- LOOK AT HIM. [laughs]
- THAT'S A WRAP.
- OH, I LIKE THAT.
THAT'S MY FAVORITE SHOT IN THE WORLD.
THAT'S MY COVER SHOT.
I WANT TO BUY THAT BOOK.
[laser gun noise]
- [laughs] - PLEASE DON'T GET THAT.
WITH ALL THE ATTENTION THAT NICK GETS,
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR US
TO SPEND A LOT OF QUALITY TIME WITH C.J.
BARBIES?
I DON'T THINK YOU WANT THIS.
- YEAH, I DON'T THINK I WANT IT.
- USUALLY WHEN NICK'S IN THERAPY,
HIM AND I WILL SPEND TIME TOGETHER.
HI, C.J.
DO YOU LIKE HAVING A LITTLE BROTHER?
- MM-HMM.
- YOU'RE REALLY TEACHING HIM A LOT, YOU KNOW THAT?
YOU'RE A BRIGHT KID.
ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT DOES THIS DO?
[toy beeps] - OH, MOM.
- [laughs]
COME ON, MOM, STOP, STOP, JUST PUT IT DOWN.
- CONTROL FREAK.
YOU'RE THE BRAIN.
YOU FIGURE THIS OUT.
[phone rings] LET ME SEE.
WILL YOU EXCUSE ME FOR ONE MOMENT?
- OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
- HELLO?
- JACQUELINE? - YES?
- I HAVE A WAY OF ATTRACTING TOXIC PEOPLE.
AND I'M REALLY BAD AT LETTING GO.
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION A LITTLE MORE.
THERE'S A POINT WHERE IT GETS TO BE TOO MUCH.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
- YOU KNOW, I JUST WANT THE HATE TO STOP.
- NOW THAT THINGS ARE GOOD WITH MY BROTHER AND MELISSA,
I WANT THINGS TO BE CIVIL WITH JACQUELINE AND I
BECAUSE I JUST DON'T WANT HER TO STIR UP ANY MORE TROUBLE.
SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE,
BUT KEEP YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER.
- IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT YOU WANTED TO GET OFF YOUR CHEST,
YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE BOTH WELCOME TO COME OVER
AND TALK TO CHRIS AND I.
IT'S, LIKE, SNEAKY.
I'M LIKE, WHO ARE YOU?
- JACQUELINE, I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT!
I-I CAN'T.
- WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?
- I FEEL, LIKE, AMBUSHED TODAY.
- YOU KNOW, AS LONG AS IT STAYS CIVIL.
- THAT'S TRUE.
- ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
APPRECIATE YOU CALLING. - ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT, BYE.
THIS IS NOT LIKE THE LAST CONVERSATION
WE HAD ON THE PHONE.
MAYBE SHE HAD LEARNED SOMETHING
WHILE SHE WAS AWAY ON THIS RETREAT.
I DON'T LIKE HAVING NEGATIVE FEELINGS
FOR ANYBODY OR ANYTHING.
SO IF WE CAN GET TO A PLACE OF PEACE, I'D LIKE THAT.
YOU REMEMBER TERESA?
- YEAH. - YEAH, HER.
- YEAH.
- NO ISSUES? NOTHING? - NOPE.
- NOTHING IN THE FOURTH GRADE TO WORRY ABOUT?
- NOPE.
- I LOVE YOU. - I LOVE YOU TOO.
- [laughs]
- SO WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS LESBIAN BAR?
THE CLAM HUT?
- THE THINGS THAT COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
- WHAT? [laughs]
- I DON'T EVER WANT ROSIE'S CHOICE OF PARTNER
TO GET IN BETWEEN US EVER AGAIN.
SO TONIGHT I WOULD LOVE FOR HER TO MEET SOMEBODY SPECIAL.
- HELLO.
- OH, THANKS.
- WHAT DOES D.T.F. STAND FOR?
OH, OH. - ALL RIGHT, HOOK ME UP.
- I AM NOT D.T.F. AT THIS POINT.
I'M NOT D.T.F.
I'M A GOOD GIRL.
WITH A LITTLE BAD GIRL IN ME. [laughs]
- WE'RE IN SOHO. WE WANT FIND A HO.
- DO YOU LIKE 'EM A LITTLE BUTCHY OR...
- LONG-HAIRED... - OR A LITTLE PRETTY?
- NO, NO. - PRETTY GIRL, OKAY.
- CAITLYN AND ALLISON.
NOW, ARE YOU GUYS A COUPLE?
- NO, WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE WE WERE 13.
- YES-- - HOW IS THAT?
- I JUST-- - I'M MOSEYING ON.
- YES!
- OH, MY GOD, I FOUND SWINGERS! - YOU GUYS ARE A COUPLE?
- JOE, I FOUND SWINGERS!
- WHAT THE [bleep]?
EITHER THEY'RE TOO YOUNG, THEY'RE BISEXUAL,
OR THEY'RE [bleep]ING SWINGERS.
I ONLY SWING ONE [bleep] WAY AND THAT'S WITH WOMEN.
- COME HERE, ROSIE, OH, RIGHT HERE.
I WANT YOU TO TALK TO THESE LADIES.
- I WANTED THEM.
HOW ARE YOU? - HI, ROSIE.
- YOU GUYS TOGETHER OR WHAT?
OH, YOU'RE DRINKING TEQUILA, ALL RIGHT.
OH, YOU'RE DRINKING TEQUILA, ALL RIGHT.
- ROSIE'S SO DAMN NERVOUS, SHE'S GETTING DRUNK,
BUT I UNDERSTAND THAT.
I ALWAYS TOLD ROSIE, I'M A LESBIAN TRAPPED IN A MAN'S BODY.
- YOU KNOW, AND--
- ROSIE'S GOT GAME.
- SO I'VE PUT MY TOES IN THE WATER A BIT.
MAYBE SHE'LL CALL, MAYBE SHE WON'T.
IF ANYTHING, I COULD GAIN A GREAT FRIENDSHIP.
WHO KNOWS?
- HI.
- WHY AREN'T YOU OUT WITH CHRIS? - I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU LOOK SAD.
- NOTHING'S THE MATTER, I JUST--
I--THE LAST TIME WE ALL TALKED,
IT WAS LIKE A BIG SHOUTING-- - WHAT, DINNER?
- YEAH.
I FEEL LIKE EVERY TIME I SEE YOU AND DAD,
IT'S A CONVERSATION ABOUT WORK
AND WHERE IT'S GOING AND HOW I'M FEELING
AND WHERE MY HEAD'S AT.
YOU GUYS ALWAYS LOOK A LITTLE BIT CONCERNED
EVERY TIME WE TALK.
- FIRST OF ALL, IF YOU THINK FOR A SECOND
THAT DADDY AND I ARE GONNA SAY, "GOOD JOB."
- NO. - SEE YOU LATER.
- I KNOW. - THAT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.
- I KNOW THAT. - YOU'RE STUCK WITH US.
- I WILL BE DEAD, BURIED IN MY GRAVE,
AND I'M GONNA BE LIKE THIS, WATCHING.
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT'S MY ROLE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, SOMETIMES-- - THAT'S DADDY'S ROLE.
- I DON'T THINK MOM IS OVERBEARING, PER SE.
BUT I DEFINITELY THINK THAT
MY PARENTS PUT PRESSURE ON ME TO WORK HARD.
I'M THE OLDEST SON AND THERE IS DEFINITELY
A FEELING OF STEP YOUR GAME UP BECAUSE IF SOMETHING WERE TO,
GOD FORBID, HAPPEN, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT'S GOT TO STEP
INTO YOUR DAD'S SHOES.
YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME WE TALK,
IT'S LIKE YOU GUYS ARE ALL WORRIED ABOUT ME.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU TOO. - [laughs]
- IT'S TRUE. - WHAT, YOU WORRIED ABOUT ME?
- I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU AND DAD, YEAH.
- WE LIKE EACH OTHER.
- NO--WELL, I DON'T KNOW-- - I STILL LIKE HIM.
- DO YOU KNOW EACH OTHER? - WE DEFINITELY LIKE EACH OTHER.
- DO YOU KNOW EACH OTHER AT ALL? - VERY WELL.
- YOU ONLY SEEING EACH OTHER ONCE A WEEK
FOR THE LAST, WHAT, 30 YEARS? - IN YOUR EYES.
- LIKE, DO YOU GUYS EVEN HAVE HOBBIES AND [bleep]?
- YOU KNOW, WE HAVE OUR BUMPS.
AND WITHOUT BUMPS, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THEN LIFE AIN'T LIVING, MAN.
ALBIE, LIVE YOUR LIFE AND STOP WORRYING ABOUT ME.
OUR MARRIAGE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THERE'S YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER.
- MM-HMM.
- AND THERE'S ALBERT AND CAROLINE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW ALBERT AND CAROLINE.
WE'RE NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
- I JUST WISH THAT--
- YOU CAN'T WISH AND FIX EVERYBODY'S PROBLEMS AWAY.
THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.
GET USED TO IT.
- COMING UP NEXT...
- I REALIZE THERE'S EVIL PEOPLE OUT THERE.
AND I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ONE OF THEM.
- [bleep] HER.
- YOU LIKE MY NEW SONG?
♪ MY NAME IS ROSIE AND I AM SEXY ♪
♪ I LIKE TO PUT LIPSTICK ON WHEN I'M LOOKING FOR THE POO- ♪
TANGY.
[both laugh]
- YOU'RE SO DUMB.
- ♪ MY NAME IS RICHIE AND I'M SO *** ♪
♪ I LIKE TO *** ALL DAY AND TELL KATHY TO GET ON IT ♪
♪ MY NAME'S GIUSEPPE ♪
♪ THEY CALL ME JOEY ♪
♪ I WEAR THE HAT, THE HAT, THE HAT, HAT, HAT ♪
♪ I WAS A STRIPPER ♪
♪ HE WAS A STRIPPER ♪
♪ HE'S PROUD OF IT ♪
♪ HE'S GOT A BIG ONE ♪
♪ HE'S GOT A BIG ONE ♪
[all laugh] WHOO!
[doorbell ringing]
- HEY. - HEY.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU, STRANGER.
- HOW ARE YOU DOING? - EXCELLENT.
HOW ARE YOU? - GREAT.
THAT DOG'S GETTING FAT.
COME ON, SANTINO, COME IN HERE.
- IT'S LIKE AN OBSTACLE COURSE.
- OH, BOY.
- HEY. - HELLO.
- HELLO.
- GOD, WHAT'S GOING ON?
- THAT'S A CUTE JACKET.
I LIKE THAT. - THANKS.
SO TERESA CALLED ME,
AND WE DECIDED TO MEET AND TRY TO WORK THINGS OUT.
BUT HOW DO I MAKE IT WORK?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- LISTEN, IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE HER.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO OUT FOR COFFEE WITH HER.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO, YOU KNOW, ON VACATIONS TOGETHER,
BUT WHEN SHE WALKS IN A ROOM, YOU RESPECT HER.
AND THAT'S ALL THE RELATIONSHIP HAS TO BE.
I'M HAPPY THAT JACQUELINE'S MEETING WITH TERESA.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE JACQUELINE GO BACK
TO THAT PLACE WHERE SHE WAS LAST YEAR.
- [sobbing] - JACQUELINE CALLED ME EARLIER.
SHE WAS CRYING HYSTERICAL.
SHE--IT DOESN'T EVEN SOUND
LIKE SHE CAN GET OUT OF BED.
- YOU KNOW JACQUELINE.
WHEN SOMEBODY CROSSES HER, SHE FREAKS OUT.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT.
- SHE WAS IN A DOWNWARD SPIRAL.
- I FIND IT CRAZY THAT SHE ALWAYS TRIES
TO DEFLECT EVERYTHING IN HER LIFE ON EVERYBODY ELSE, ALWAYS.
IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, THE DINA STUFF,
SHE'S TRYING TO TAKE THE LIGHT OFF OF HER FAMILY
AND PUT IT ONTO OURS, AND IT'S NOT THE SAME.
- FOR US, THE DINA THING IS LIKE A HUM,
BECAUSE WE JUST KNOW, OKAY, HERE'S YOUR SPACE.
- RIGHT. - TAKE IT NOW.
- LIKE, WITH TERESA, YOU COME AT ME WITH A KNIFE
AND YOUR B.S. AND YOUR LIES,
I'M GONNA COME AT YOU WITH A CANNON FULL OF TRUTHS.
SHE CAN'T KEEP BLAMING EVERYBODY ELSE FOR IT.
SHE'S--AT SOME POINT, SHE'S GOT TO
TAKE SOME ACCOUNTABILITY FOR HER PART.
- HOPE FOR THE BEST, BUT PREPARE FOR THE WORST.
- TERE, YOU LET GIA PUT ALL THAT LIPSTICK ON?
- LET ME SEE. - IT'S NOT A LOT.
- IT'S C--IT'S NOT THAT MUCH, HON.
- OH, WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE A LOT?
- SHE HAS BIG, JUICY LIPS.
- MOM, BE QUIET, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
- BUT SHE HAS BEAUTIFUL LIPS.
- [laughs] OH, MY--
- OH, REALLY?
- MILANIA, BE QUIET.
LIKE, NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU.
- YOU BETTER BE NICE, ALL RIGHT?
OTHERWISE NOBODY'S GOING TO THE MALL.
- SO, HON, I'M GLAD THAT JACQUELINE AND I ARE MEETING
AT, YOU KNOW, A MUTUAL TERRITORY AND THAT YOU'RE GONNA GO TOO.
MAYBE CHRIS WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.
- WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA SAY TO THIS [bleep] MOE-MOE.
- JOE, STOP IT.
MY HUSBAND AND CHRIS WERE GOOD FRIENDS.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS TO THE EXTENT OF JACQUELINE AND I,
BUT USUALLY IF THE WIFE DON'T GET ALONG,
THEN THE HUSBANDS STOP HANGING OUT.
- OH. - OH, GUYS.
LOOK AT ZIO JOE.
- WHAT? - RIGHT THERE.
- WHAT? - LOOK RIGHT THERE.
- EW, SOMEBODY HAS NO SHIRT ON!
- HE LOOKS GOOD.
I'M HAPPY FOR HIM.
HE DID A BILLBOARD, BUT I SHOT A COMMERCIAL FOR THEM.
YOU KNOW, I GUESS SIZZLE TAN WANTS TO KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY.
- I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN A GUY ON A TANNING THING
FOR, YOU KNOW--AS A GUY.
- WELL, JOE, GUYS TAN.
- YEAH, BUT THEY DON'T GO ON A BILLBOARD.
- EVERYBODY BEATS AT THEIR OWN DRUM.
- BIG SURPRISE COMING.
HUGE.
- WHERE IS IT?
- LOOK.
- [shrieks]
- THEY'RE COVERING YOUR CHEST! - laughs]
- OH, MY GOD, THAT IS SO GREAT.
- SIZZLE TAN'S SO LUCKY TO HAVE ME ON THEIR BILLBOARDS.
GUESS THEY WERE GONNA CALL JOE GIUDICE FIRST,
BUT WHAT WOULD HE GET?
A MEATBALL COMMERCIAL?
- SAY CONGRATULATIONS, DADDY.
- CONGRATULATIONS, STUPID.
- [gasps] GINO!
- THIS IS GONNA BE SO AWKWARD.
- DON'T LET HER PUSH YOUR BUTTONS
BECAUSE YOU KNOW SHE LIKES TO DO THAT.
- A LITTLE HARD TO GET IN AND OUT OF THESE THINGS.
- SO WHAT TIME ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO BE HERE?
- UM...NOW.
- YOU GUYS WILL BE FINE.
YOU WILL BE FINE.
- HI, GUYS.
- HOW YOU DOING, CHRIS? - HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU?
- TERESA. - HI.
- HI. - HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD.
- WHY DON'T WE GO AND HAVE A DRINK DOWNSTAIRS?
WE'LL GO TO THE CIGAR BAR, AND YOU GUYS--
- YOU GUYS GO THERE, WE'LL GO IN HERE,
AND THEN WE'LL MEET UP AFTER.
FOR THE FIRST TIME I SEE TERESA, AND I FEEL NOTHING.
SO I'M NOT LOOKING TO SAY ANYTHING TO PUSH HER BUTTONS.
I WANT TO LEAVE THERE IN PEACE.
ONE PIECE.
WOW.
- OUR OWN PRIVATE ROOM. - I KNOW.
I LIKE YOUR TOP. - THANKS.
UM, I'LL HAVE A CABERNET.
- OKAY. - BUT GIVE ME A GOOD ONE.
- I WILL. - I'M GOOD WITH THIS RIGHT NOW.
I JUST HAD A COFFEE. THANK YOU.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.
- LISTEN, IN NAPA, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
WHEN I MADE UP WITH YOU, I MEANT IT.
- I WAS SICK FOR, LIKE, A WEEK AFTER THAT.
- WHY?
- I HEARD YOU SAYING YOU HATED ME
AND YOU COULDN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF MY FACE.
THAT CRUSHED ME, CRUSHED ME.
- WHO WAS I TALKING TO? - I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK MELISSA.
- SO RIGHT THERE, I KNOW HOW YOU ARE.
YOU'RE LIKE, I'M GETTING-- TAKING THIS *** DOWN.
- NO, NO, YOU'RE WRONG. YOU'RE WRONG.
- I WISH YOU--I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR,
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE WHEN YOU SAID THAT TO MY BROTHER--
"YOUR SISTER WAS PART OF THIS"--
I DIDN'T TALK TO MY BROTHER YEAR AND A HALF LATER.
- MY FRIEND WAS TEXTING ME THAT THAT WAS A SETUP.
- SHE WANTS TO ACT LIKE FAMILY,
AND THEN SHE WANTS TO SET MY WIFE UP?
- UNBELIEVABLE.
- I WOULD FEEL SO GUILTY IF I BROKE UP A BROTHER AND SISTER.
- BUT I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I DID THAT.
I FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS HAD ISSUES BEFORE.
- I WAS FINE WITH MY BROTHER AND MELISSA.
- BUT YOU WEREN'T FINE, THAT'S THE POINT.
- BUT I WAS. I THOUGHT WE WERE FINE.
WE GOT ALONG GREAT IN NAPA.
- BUT IT--LIKE, ACCORDING TO YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR FAMILY,
THAT WASN'T THE REASON THEY DIDN'T TALK TO YOU FOR A YEAR.
AND I FEEL LIKE I'M STILL GETTING BLAMED FOR THIS,
AND, YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO BE BLAMED FOR THAT.
ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS IS SHE WILL NOT
TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR HER PART IN ANYTHING.
AND YET SHE STILL HAS THE BALLS
TO BLAME ME FOR HER FAMILY ISSUES?
[bleep] HER.
- EVEN WITH THE CHEATING WITH MY HUSBAND,
LIKE, JACQUELINE, THAT'S UNCALLED FOR.
AND IT'S [bleep]ING [bleep] UP.
MY HUSBAND WAS--IS NOT CHEATING ON ME.
THERE'S NO WOMAN THAT'S COME FORWARD.
- I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE.
I THINK WE SHOULD CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
I DON'T WANT TO SAY THINGS THAT ARE GONNA START THINGS UP AGAIN.
- NO, BUT YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
- IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME THERE, HAMSTER.
- GOOD SEEING YOU.
- IT IS.
A LOT OF [bleep] GONE ON, YOU KNOW?
- YOU KNOW, [bleep] HAPPENS.
- YOU KNOW, I NEVER, EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH YOU.
BUT YOU SAYING [bleep] IN NAPA, THAT'S WHEN I GOT PISSED OFF.
YOU TOLD SOME BOTTLING GUY THAT I WAS SHADY BECAUSE OF--
IF SOMEBODY TOLD ME YOU WERE SHADY,
I WOULD TELL THEM TO [bleep] OFF.
- I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER.
- BUT I COULD PUT [bleep] BEHIND ME, ESPECIALLY NOW
BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT MATTERS AND WHAT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU KNOW, I MISS MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JOE.
WE HAD A LOT OF GOOD TIMES TOGETHER.
I THINK IT'S A LOT EASIER FOR GUYS
TO FORGIVE AND FORGET.
WE CAN PUT IT BEHIND US.
- WELL, LISTEN.
THAT'S ALL [bleep] WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE NOW.
NO BIG DEAL.
- TERESA, IT WENT BOTH WAYS.
WE BOTH SAID VERY HURTFUL THINGS.
- WELL-- - THERE WERE THINGS--
BOUNDARIES THAT WERE DEFINITELY CROSSED WITH US.
- YEAH.
- LIKE THE PHONE CALL WITH KATHY.
LIKE, I FELT, LIKE, ATTACKED ON THE PHONE.
SO IT'S LIKE, OH, MY GOD, I THINK SHE'S A SOCIOPATH.
- WHAT THE [bleep] IS A SOCIOPATH?
LIKE A CRAZY PERSON?
I FEEL LIKE JACQUELINE'S CALLING ME A SOCIOPATH
BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T REALLY HAVE MUCH ON ME,
AND IT'S THE WORST WORD THAT SHE COULD THINK OF.
I'M A SOCIOPATH?
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TWEETS
AND YOU GO ON YOUR TWEET RAMPAGE.
- I KNOW. I'M IMPULSIVE ON TWITTER.
I'M NOT GONNA LIE.
- THIS IS MY THING, JACQUELINE.
I REALIZE THERE'S EVIL PEOPLE OUT THERE.
AND I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ONE OF THEM.
- THIS IS MY THING, JACQUELINE.
I REALIZE THERE'S EVIL PEOPLE OUT THERE.
AND THEY'RE--AND--
AND I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ONE OF THEM.
JUST BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE YOU WANT--
- TERESA, I AM NOT AN EVIL PERSON.
- NO, I'M JUST TELLING YOU BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE--
- LIKE, THAT HURTS THAT YOU SAY THAT.
- WELL, BECAUSE-- - I'VE ALWAYS DONE
EVERYTHING TO HELP YOU.
I HAVE. I--
- WELL, WHEN YOU'RE AROUND EVERYONE,
YOU SAY YOU WANT THE PEACE OR WHATEVER,
BUT THEN BEHIND THE SCENES,
I FEEL LIKE THAT'S WHERE YOU GO AFTER PEOPLE.
LIKE FOR INSTANCE, DANIELLE. YOU WERE HER FRIEND,
BUT THEN WHEN YOU WERE DONE BEING FRIENDS WITH HER,
THEN YOU WANTED TO TRY TO TAKE HER DOWN.
THAT'S JUST EVIL.
- IMAGINE IF THEY'RE UP THERE
PULLING EACH OTHER'S HAIR OUT,
THROWING EACH OTHER AROUND THE ROOM,
AND WE'RE DOWN HERE DRINKING WINE
AND SMOKING CIGARS.
- YOU KEEP BRINGING [bleep] UP,
OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA START A [bleep] FIRE UP AGAIN.
YOU KNOW, IT'S THE SAME [bleep].
- YOU'RE CALLING ME AN EVIL PERSON
AND I FEEL LIKE YOU'VE KNOWN ME LONG ENOUGH
TO KNOW I'M NOT AN EVIL PERSON.
- YOU AND ME ARE DIFFERENT.
LIKE, YOU HIT BELOW THE BELT.
- WE ARE BOTH ANGRY.
I GET THAT. - DID I HURT YOU?
- YEAH. - OKAY, HOW DID I HURT YOU?
I FEEL LIKE YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING
BUT YOU'RE, LIKE, HOLDING BACK.
- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY...
- GET OUT OF THE WAY.
- WHO'S THE MAN?
I'M THE MAN!
- [laughs] - OH, HOW I MISS THE POLE.
- I'VE DECIDED I'M GONNA GET A TUMMY TUCK.
OH, I'M SORRY.
OH, THEY CAN FIX THAT HERE.
I LOVE THE RELATIONSHIP WE HAVE NOW.
IT'S NOT THE FIGHTING THAT IT USED TO BE.
- IT'S FUNNY HOW LIFE BRINGS YOU GIFTS.
[crying]
- YOU WERE, LIKE, MY SISTER.
I REALLY LOVED YOU.
- YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I GO THROUGH.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
- YOU AND MY MOM WERE *** FOR TAT.
THAT DISTANCED EVERYONE.
- THERE'S TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY, RIGHT?
- THE THING THAT STUCK IN MY HEAD THE MOST
WAS THE CHRIS THING.
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE REAL HOUSEWIVES,