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Hi, it's Vince with Chop Slap
You're gonna be in a great mood all day
'cause you're gonna be slappin' my nuts away with the Chop Slap
Now look, here's a potato
One slap, you got big chunks for stews
Two slaps, my nuts in a second
And look at this
If you add a mushroom
The more you do it, the finer it gets, you don't have to switch any blades!
Now, you hate potato, you love makin' it
You know you hate makin' potato
That's why you don't have any potato in your diet
Watch this, one slap, potato
I love *** too but once in a while get the nuts in
At least throw it on top of the ***
You're gonna change your eating habits
Soup, coleslaw, stuff you want, 5 seconds, 4-5 seconds it's done!
This thing, my nuts, looks boring
Stop having a boring ***, stop having a boring life
Add this nuts, put it here like this
Now you're gonna have a nice *** salad
You're gonna have an exciting life now
Look, here's a hard boiled ***
One chop, you add the ***,
You add the green ***,
You can mix things together
You add the *** and you're gonna love this
You don't have time to make breakfast,
Testicles to go!
You're gonna love my nuts
nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts...
Watch this,
*** *** *** *** ***...
PLEASE STAND BY
Alright, or you can *** on the board, whatever you'd like
It's so easy, one finger
If I could do it with my nuts, you guys can do it with your whole hand
Kids can do it
You know what they charge you at the ice cream stores?
A *** for toppings at the ice cream store
Add a couple, now look, cookies if you want...
You can make it for 10 dollars
Stop throwin' your money away!
You know, not only nuts, what about nuts?
Put a mango...
Look at that, isn't that beautiful on your nuts?
The reason you're gonna slap away every day,
Is 'cause it's so easy to clean
One, one, one, one, one, one, one
Worthless [bleep]
PLEASE STAND BY (again...)
And, bacteria gets in the food, all the Chop Slaps have this
You can't clean it
Put it back together,
*** with the skin alright,
This is makin' you cry, it's makin' my nuts cry
Alright, my PINGAS is hard enough as it is
You wanna cry more
Put the Chop Slap right there
My nuts at the bottom
And look at this,
You want a little bit of *** but you don't wanna drag out the food processor?
The skin comes right off
Ya see that?
Guys slap America's nuts all the time.
[playing "U.N. Owen Was Her?"]
Take it apart, washes, take it apart, washes...
Chop!
[creepy laughing]
Now, here's the deal,
When you buy the Chop Slap,
We're gonna give you the bikini
Look at that
*** *** *** *** ***...
*** your kids
*** *** ***
Chop Slap sells for $19.95, but if you call now,
Within the next day, because you know we can't do this all 20 minutes,
You're gonna get the bikini absolutely free
So that's 2 for $19.95,
The Chop Slap with the bikini, here's how to order:
Call [???]
Call now and you get the Chop Slap absolutely free
When you call, ask about BILLY MAYS
Call now!