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Zombie Skape is the kind of game things like the 3DS eShop and DSiWare could use more of.
It has that straightforward simplicity that used to be associated with hardcore games.
Remember the arcades? Easy to play, insanely hard to master...that’s an idea that seems
to appear more on mobile games these days. So it’s nice to see Zombie Skape doing the
same kind of thing on DSiWare.
It’s just too bad Zombie Skape isn’t better.
So this game was released to DSiWare in late 2012. It’s also available in the 3DS eShop,
but no matter where you get it, the controls will frustrate you just the same. Which sucks,
because...in concept, I like what Zombie Skape is trying to do.
Emphasis on “trying.”
It’s like zombie skateboard molasses.
You play as a dude named Ethan. Dude because, well...anatomy...but also because Ethan skateboards.
Dude. Anyway, his town is overrun by zombies, which is at least an original premise for
a video game, and of course...he has to save all the chicks. Ethan evidently lives in Stepford,
by the way, because they’re all identical.
Freaking Nicole Kidman.
Joking aside, though...I love everything about the concept. Crush your enemies, see them
driven before you, hear the lamentation of the women. Actually, you’re saving the women,
so...not quite. Nonetheless, I dig it. Ethan moves forward automatically, it’s an old-school
arcade vibe, all you have to do is steer. Easier said than done.
See, there’s one problem with Zombie Skape. And that’s the controls. I mean, all you
have to do is turn left and right. You can jump and brake, too...but that’s it. And
yet the controls are somehow kind of a mess. They’re just so slow and unresponsive. It’s
like you’re steering a cargo ship instead of a rad dude with a skateboard.
And you know, that’s the only thing that really bothered me about this game. I mean,
there are only eight levels, but...who cares? If it played well, I’d tear through them
about a million times. And yes, the gameplay could use some variety—some powerups, some
offense of some kind—but hey, if I could avoid the zombies, I wouldn’t need them.
But I can’t. That’s hardly rad, dude.
Zombie Skape isn’t a bad game. It’s a decent little game with bad controls. Sadly,
in video games, controls are kind of a big deal. It’s a fun idea, but...the lack of
precision and polish makes the horror of Zombie Skape more horrific than it should be.