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It's just 17 video with 30 second previews. I can do this.
This is doable. No it is not!
Can we discuss how Beyonce fully sneak attacked; she assaulted us!
Her and her team think it's cute to do something like this--create stomach ulcers, heart palpatations, light-headed dizziness--I can't, Beyonce, I can't.
Me and the rest of us can't handle; and you know this! You know this!
Me and my cousin did a transformation video in omage to you, because you came out with Grown Woman way back when.
We were like, yeah, she's back! Let's celebrate her arrival!
So we did that for you, Beyonce. And then you left.
And we were like, what the heck, where did she go?
Yes, you were on your tour, I get it. I get it.
And you couldn't have come back at a more perfect time!
We've got girls twerking non-stop, and then you have twerking on water.
And then Beyonce was doing her.
And I was like, okay. It's okay; she's married, she has a kid, I get it.
All hope was gone.
And then you come out of nowhere, and you fart and run!
You farted in the elevator, you walked out, and the doors closed and we were drowning in your fart, is what happened, Beyonce.
So I have questions that need answers. We have questions!
How long have you been working on this? I have a feeling it was on your tour.
Number 2, how did you keep this a secret?!
Did you make everyone sign some waiver that said if they said something, you would kill them?
How did you do that?!
At what point in this album creation process did you decide to sneak attack us?
Who does that?!
I know why you did it.
You wanted us to feel. You wanted us to die! Because I died several times over.
And not only did you drop 14 songs and 17 videos in one night, not only did you do that, you came correct.
You turned looks, with dances, with direction, with creativity, with storytelling, with concept, with all of it!
You did it all! You literally farted and ran!
And then--where are you? Are you on tour? Is that what you're doing?
Look at her--I wish I could play the footage so we can all appreciate it together. But copyrights.
And not only did you do all that, you came with some new-found swag.
Like, you've always been a diva, but this?
You've got girls turning tricks, they will be doing these looks!
I live here in New York City and I had no idea until the next day at 12 noon.
12 hours after, I found out that you had dropped some craziness and I died.
I just found out that Beyonce released--how many? 17 videos?
I have to record this at every possible angle!
She didn't send us the memo!
It's okay, I get it. Elements of surprise.
I respect it.
I took the train that afternoon, headed downtown in New York, and everybody has you playing on their headphones on the train, okay?
Then I went into a MAC store, and all the staff knew all the lyrics! And we all were dancing.
The previews were insane, so I went to iTunes and I downloaded the whole thing.
Yes!
So when you download the thing, the videos are on the album?
ILIANA: Yeah, all the videos. MAYA: Like, now, if I download it?
Why am I waiting? Where is iTunes?
So I can watch all the videos?
ILIANA: Yeah.
ILIANA: It's a visual album so you get the videos.
MAYA: With the song!
Holy--she's so smart!
This is how you do it, you game changer!
She is teaching, she is schooling!
She's a beast. She's a beast! Beyonce is a beast.
ILIANA: You're so excited.
Look at you!
Shock value, you delivered shock value without having to compromise.
I went through every emotion!
Shock, anger, happiness, rage.
I'm not even happy, this is beyond happiness. This is something else.
I had to pace myself. The next day, I woke up and you were the first thing on my mind.
How do I wake up and you're the first thing on my mind?
You knew what you were doing!
Jealous! I'm jealous.
So because I'm obsessed, because I'm crazy, and I love you, I'm going to hook my viewers up.
This is just on my own accord because I want to.
With 2 iTunes gift cards. You can do whatever with it, but obviously I want you to download Beyonce's songs.
So please enter this contest if you don't have a credit card.
Grown adults that have credit cards, let the kiddies have some fun.
Comment below. Let me know what your favorite Beyonce track is. It could be on any album, but I want to know what your favorite track is.
You can also tell me what your favorite look is in her video if you saw the previews.
Not if--You all saw the previews! I want to know what your favorite look in her preview was.
Also read the description box, I will have a giveaway on my facebook page.
I don't know what all you other recording artists intend to do with your career.
Thank you for saving us from ourselves.
And then you put Flawless, okay?
Chimamanda, TED Talks, in Flawless. Flawless? TED Talks?
The thinking is revolutionary! This is deeper on so many levels, and I just don't have time.
So this is a public service announcement to Beyonce.
I, the viewers would love to get some questions answered.
And since you are a revolutionary and you know, everyone goes on to Ellen and Oprah and does that whole circut.
I would love to meet with you, Beyonce, in person, and bring my camera.
I know you're a busy woman, so I won't ask you to take time off.
I know you don't even do groceries so I can't harrass you when you're doing groceries.
But backstage at your concert when you're getting your hair and makeup done, can I just ask you some questions?
Can we get some answers?
I think we would all love that.
Beyonce and Shameless teaming up? Hello!
Can we make that happen? Can somebody make it happen for us?
Anyway, if you guys would like to enter, read the description box.
And make sure to do you, be you, and stay true.
Beyonce is doing her, that's all I know.