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Welcome back to oh my god that white guy is so street. Take 5008.
Come one, come all - entry starts this fall We want you - that's why we're giving you
the call You've got the smarts, charm and know how
Oh - and did we mention you're a cash cow You're parents bank accounts are even bigger
than your damn boat That's why we're giving you the academic deep
throat Please come we're at the top of the top of
the table We've got more history than Ross, Rachel,
Cain and Abel Just sign, on the dotted line,
I don't care if you're disinclined. Gotta make mum and daddy proud,
Imagine if you didn't go to college now - how They'd cry your life would be done,
Then if you asked them 'they wouldn't have a son'
So pack your things and get out the door, Let's watch your budget dying on the floor...
Till we bleed you, Then we'll cut some more.
Oh so your scholarship paid your fees? That's fine we'll get you on amenities.
Fifty for a book, the pages lined with gold? Of course not, they'd be impossible to fold.
At least your professors are on your side. Oh wait, no sorry I have lied.
How much you paying a guy to read a slideshow? Or tell me stuff I don't need to know.
But you work your *** off to get through exams, Every year you show up like them little lambs...
To the slaughter, though you make it through, So? - Well *** well done you.
Right about now you'll be getting bored with your major,
In fact I'd probably stage a wager... That you're questioning - why you're here,
And more importantly -- why's it so damn dear? But hey you've made a lot of friends,
At least now, being here you can defend You're certain, that it's worth it in the
end, It's okay -- sometimes we all pretend.
Let's go for a walk around campus, I'd drive - but they've gone and clamped us,
Just there, by the top Profs car The swankiest in the lot by far
Just look, we've got the buildings to match Brand spanking new baby not a scratch,
Sorry these facilities aren't for you, They're for research - and the million dollar
breakthrough One day - you'll be just as rich as they are,
Then again, you might be sleeping in your own car,
Nah I'm sure there's plenty jobs for you In uhhh ... [insert whatever it's you do]
Graduation day and you're full of hope Who wouldn't - dressed like the *** pope
Got your hat, your potter gown and piece of paper
Was it worth it - now it's four years later? Time to apply for jobs in your specialty,
There's more chance of a quadruple amputee... Winning in a swimming competition
Now there's, an unfavourable position. Surely you'll impress with your higher education,
Guaranteed to get a job pumping gas at a station, Turns out in the real world that ain't true,
That *** in the bushes is more appealing than you.
Why not go back to do your masters? Spend some more money and return to pastures...
Old, waste some more of your time Maybe contemplate a life in organized crime
Or maybe you teach, inspire the youth To follow their dreams and spend a fortune
like you Why not - keep this conveyor belt rolling
The promise of dream jobs, academic trolling Time's now to face the reality,
You're back at the bottom -- having learned life's brutality
Hey you can still be happy, Record a dumb song even if it's crappy
You don't even have to be any good As long as it rhymes and you are misunderstood.
Watch - I'll prove there's hope for you. From a point of view, you're tried and true,
wandering jew, tree kangaroo, giant bamboo, yabadabadoo, - which only goes to show your
dreams will come true.
NONSENSE