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Oh !
OH ! WHOA ! WHOA !
BOUNCY UP HERE.
( glass shattering )
WE GOT TO DO A COMMERCIAL HERE, BOYS AND GIRLS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE SANDRA BERNHARD.
ng )
♪( band playing )
I'M HAVIN' A BLAST,
THANKS FOR HAVING ME BACK ON, DAVE.
HOW YOU DOING ?
WHAT DO YOU WANT, THE NUMBER OF MY THERAPIST ?
YOU SHOULD BE THRILLED WITH YOUR LIFE.
THERE YOU GO.
IT WASN'T THAT BAD, DAVE.
OK, WE HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE,
BUT SANDRA WAS GOOD AND YOU WERE GOOD WITH HER.
NO, I SUCKED, MORTY.
AND THE WHOLE SHOW SUCKED BECAUSE I SUCKED.
I DON'T-- I DON'T BELONG IN NETWORK TELEVISION.
I DRI
YOU GOT GREAT LAUGHS.
OH, ***. IF THAT AUDIENCE WERE ANY DEADER,
THERE'D BE GUYS IN LAB COATS
GOING THROUGH HARVESTING ORGANS.
THOSE DORKS AT N.B.C. PROBABLY STEERED UP THE CROWD
WAITING IN LINE FOR DONAHUE BY MISTAKE.
IT OF
WHAT MESSAGE ?
THE MESSAGE. LIKE GIVING JAY THE JOB
AS PERMANENT GUEST HOST FOR JOHNNY.
THEY DIDN'T DO THAT TO MESS WITH YOU.
THEY DO EVERYTHING TO MESS WITH ME.
LIKE RENTING OUT OUR STUDIO IN THE MORNING TO MAURY POVICH.
LAURIE, I NEED SOME COFFEE.
GREAT SHOW.
YEAH.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WH-WH-WHEN ARE-- WHEN ARE SUPPOSED TO REHEARSE ?
SHOULD I MOVE MY CAMERA AROUND
SOME BALD WOMEN WITH EATING DISORDERS ?
WE WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN, DAVE. WE'LL DO SOMETHING.
.
THEY'LL PROBABLY USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO FIRE ME.
OH, COME ON, DAVE.
I *** UP NUMBER 6--
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
IT WAS THE ONLY DECENT JOKE IN THE WHOLE *** SHOW--
IT WAS FUNNY.
IT WAS FUNNY,
LET ME SEE THE TAPE.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BREATHER ?
GIVE ME THE *** TAPE.
( sighing )
***.
( David ) OH, MAN.
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
JESUS, DO I SUCK !
OH, OH, THAT'S GOOD.