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Philip Johnson talking about relationships.
and the kind of things that might have influence on your relationship--- the crowded bed
definitely has some influence on your relationship
every relationship has this influence...
You come into the relationship as an individual ... the "I" statement
I refer to this as the "I"
.. and you come in with all the influences feeding into you ... your education
your family
... society your friends
and when you start the relationship quite often it's more sense of "we" than "I"
the "I" is diminished... we do things for a partner because we're going to be in a
relationship and because we love them...
this is usually a six-month period
round about six months and it's a sometimes referred to as the honeymoon
period
and this is where this is the
"getting to know your stage"
uh... eventually though we want to be in a relationship that has its boundaries
Boundaries as a starting to be formed here as you can see
eventually we're going to relationship where we are individuals within the
relationship really connected - both ways of course
and they may be uh... different interests of the individuals have
or your will need to have... your work
for both of you of course... your interests to separate interests
your work or what ever things you are doing on the side...
as well as
the common things... the things that you guys have in common and do together
this is a balance
relationship
What I've started to do is draw up this diagram roughly the same as it was before... but I've added some things
here
in other words this person
has has got a whole lot of extra work profile
so the energy but that would normally be putting in here
is not being put in like the other partner is still putting in... but for this partner
the energy is dissipated becasue so much extra work here...
This partner therefore, is going to have do something to compensate
to balance
this energy is not coming in here
They are going to have to do their own stuff find extracurricular activities or maybe take
on that little bit of extra work themselves
go out with one of these people by themselves
In other words it's gotta be balance within this relationship on
otherwise this present is going to feel neglected when this person here ends up
doing a whole lot of extra work
so there we have
the little bit of an example of the work that I would do with you if you come in
couple as an individual
Talking about relationships we have a conversation finding out what's going on
for you what's working what's not working what you'd like to have work better
... and see if we can find ways to help you do that.
Of course you do all the work
I simply will be the facilitator
It's good to come in to come together
If you can't come in together we do "couple counselling for one"
that could be very effective of course you will you have to do a lot of work with that
and very patient with it...
so it please
met some contact, give me a call, send me an email
and we can have a chat about what's going on for you.
I look forward to hearing from
you can call me on 1300 667 996
or go to the choosing change website www.choosingchange.com.au