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Sakura: Master! Welcome back!
When I get home Sakura is there, smiling and greeting me at the door.
Sakura: Eheehee~ Dear, are you hungry? Do you want a bath? Or...Perhaps me?
Sakura stands there looking odd and asking that corny phrase.
Reiji: What the heck. Did you watch some strange TV show today or something?
Sakura: Muu! Master, you're so cold! When the husband comes back, the wife is supposed to greet him like this!
Reiji: (Just when the hell did we become husband and wife...)
Though I want to complain about her habits, I don't really want to drag Sakura down when she's in such high spirits, so while
I'm reluctant to do so I decide to play along.
Reiji: I got it...Go ahead and say it again.
Sakura: Nn!
Sakura: Eheehee~ Welcome home, dear. Are you hungry? Do you want a bath? Or...Perhaps me?
Reiji: Just when the hell did we become husband and wife?
Sakura: JEEZ! MASTER!!
Reiji: M-My bad. It's just too odd...I just can't imagine you saying something like that.
I can't help it. When I see her with that kind of smile, I just want to tease her.
Sakura: Muuuu...If you interrupt next time, I'm not going to keep protecting you...
Reiji: I'm sorry to be so troublesome...I apologize, so can you please ask again?
Sakura: I guess it can't be helped...You really don't like my special service.
Even though she says that, Sakura still seems glad as she clears her throat again.
Sakura: Ahem.
Sakura: Welcome home, dear. Are you hungry? Do you want a bath? Or...Perhaps me?
Reiji: (I see...)
Top: Dinner.
Middle: Bath.
Bottom: You. (I know you all want this choice :D)
===Top===
Reiji: Than...Dinner.
Sakura: Ok, Dear!
With that, Sakura turns around and hurries off to the kitchen.
Sakura: Actually, I've already got it ready~.
Reiji: Huh? But, you don't know how to cook, right?
Sakura: Nn. Therefore, today's special will be this: Cup Ramen!
Reiji: (Note to self: Do NOT go along with this girl's stupid ideas...)
Sakura disappears back into the kitchen, holding a large bag of groceries that shakes under it's own weight.
It looks like she wasn't kidding when she said she was going to prepare cup ramen.
Sakura: Huh?
Reiji: What's wrong, Sakura?
When I hear her say something strange from the kitchen, Sakura pokes her head back into the living room.
Sakura: It's strange, Master. There's no hot water coming out of the faucet.
Reiji: Heh? Are you sure you turned the hot water tap on?
Honestly, even though the water doesn't have to be hot initially for cup ramen...At any rate, the problem is that now it seems
we have no hot water.
Sakura: Nn. It's very odd...
Reiji: Maybe the water heater broke or something. I'll tell Ichigo-san when she gets back.
Reiji: In the meantime, I guess I'll take a bath.
Sakura: Ah, Nn!
Sakura: Eheehee. Perhaps I should take one as well?
Sakura looks really happy and empty-headed, but I ignore her and start to head towards the bathroom.
===Middle===
Reiji: Than...A bath.
Sakura: Eheeheee...Master really is perverted after all.
Reiji: ...You surely didn't think I meant for you to join me did you?
As my weapon struggles not to laugh, I decide to just ignore her and head towards the bathroom.
===Bottom===
Reiji: Than...I'll have you.
Sakura: Fweh?!
Sakura's eyes open wide at my answer.
Reiji: No good?
Sakura: I-It's not that, I just didn't expect that answer!
Sakura shakes her head in a panic.
Sakura: B-But still, that answer was really unexpected~
Sakura: W-W-W, What should I do...Master seems to really want to do that....Hawawawawawawa...
Sakura: Hauuu...B-But, it's still REALLY embarrassing...
Sakura mutters quietly to herself as she pushes her fingers together.
Sakura: Huu...I-I've prepared myself!
Finally seeming to have settled down, Sakura looks back up at me.
Sakura: If you ask for it Master, I can't refuse as a maiden.
Reiji: I see, so you understand than.
Sakura: Eheehee...Master really wants to be one with me.
Sakura stands there with a stupid grin on her face, unable to hide her joy.
Sakura: But, this will be my first time, so please be gentle with me...
Reiji: Good, I'm glad you're prepared. Let's get started immediately.
Sakura: Fweh?
Saying that, I take Sakura's hand.
Sakura: Y-You mean, go straight to your room, Master?! S-Shouldn't we get a bath first?!
Reiji: Hm? Didn't you hear what I said just now?
Sakura: Fweh?
Sakura's head tilts in confusion.
Sakura: Master...You chose me, right?
Reiji: That's right. I threw away dinner and a bath, and chose you, my weapon.
Sakura: Eh?!
Reiji: What, are you that surprised? I'm a magi, and you're my magical weapon. We need to start training immediately.
Sakura: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhh?!?!
Sakura tries to shake off my hand in a panic, but she's too late.
Sakura: I don't wanna!! I just wanted to pretend like we were newlyweds, I don't want to go train!!
Reiji: That's what I'm saying now. That's why I chose you.
Sakura: B-But I told you to treat me like a girl!! Why do you always treat me like a weapon?!
Reiji: What are you saying? We've got to work together on our teamwork and everything. Isn't that the most basic thing?
Reiji: So than, we should go and patrol the island...We can do push-ups instead if you don't want to.
Sakura: I-If we do such a hard training, I'll die you know?!
Reiji: You'll be fine. You won't die from a little bit of training like that.
Sakura: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
In the end, I finally run out of patience and give up on the training, since Sakura wouldn't let go of the post she had latched
onto no matter how hard I pulled.
Thanks to that much strain on it, that post has begun to make a strange sound...I think I'll keep what happened a secret from
Ichigo-san.
Reiji: Jeez...I think I'm more tired than if we had actually DONE the training.
Sakura: Uuuu...It's your fault for pulling on me so hard, Master...
Sakura says that critically as she shoots me a hateful glance.
Reiji: Well, thanks to that I worked up quite a sweat...I guess I'll get a bath before Ichigo-san gets back.
Sakura: Ah, The bath's actually ready. After Master finishes, I'll get a bath too.
Reiji: Is that so? Good, than at least I don't have to prepare it.
Sakura: Muu! I can't believe you turned down dinner and the bath for training, Master! You really hurt my delicate heart!!
I ignore Sakura's protesting and grab a towel and head for the bathroom.
At that time...
???: (Scream)
Reiji: (Gasp)