Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Hello, I'm Dr. Diggins.
I'm here to talk to you about a serious mental illness that has spread recently.
After seeing "The Hobbit",
did you feel the sense of dissatisfaction?
Did you feel as if you could have stayed for three more hours?
Did you feel as if
you could have seen the movie countless times?
Did you even go as far as to post something on Facebook that said that you would
create a time machine that would take you to December 13th, 2013
to see "The Desolation Of Smaug"?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you may be suffering from
H.E.D.:
Hobbit Emptiness Disorder.
But don't be embarrassed. Many fanboys and fangirls are victims of this
predicament.
Um... it all started at the premiere...
When, um--me and my friends
w--we waited
for 8 hours (shaky breath)
We were all buzzed on energy drinks; like, 10 for each of us.
I don't know what to do with myself.
(Between sobs): I can't eat.
I can't sleep. Oh, my God.
So, I was like
watching the movie, right? And I was like:
"Where's Orlando Bloom?"
I was looking for him and he didn't show up with his little bow and arrow and I was like: "Ermahgerd!"
I really wanted to see him... I love him...
But Kili and Fili were so hot though!
Baggins from Bag End (snickers)
How bout a game of riddles? (laughs)
The eagles are coming!
Adventure makes me late for breakfast!
I do believe the worst is behind us, now (laughs)
Shh...
What is the cure, you ask?
Sadly...
there is no cure.
You're pretty much screwed until December 13th, 2013.
Until then;
keep working on that time machine.
And please,
take care of yourselves and remember the worst is not yet behind you.