Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
(Anthony) WHOEVER'S IN CHARGE OF PROMOTING CANADA ABROAD
COMPLETELY HAVE THEIR HEADS UP THEIR ***.
IT'S ALL, LIKE, BEARS AND SWATTING SALMON.
(Anthony) TORONTO, CANADA.
MISREPRESENTED?
WOULD CELINE DION BE WELCOME HERE OR MOCKED?
I COULD LIVE HERE.
THERE'S A LITTLE VOICE IN MY HEAD ALL THE TIME
SAYING, "YOU MUST HAVE ALL OF THESE."
I'M GONNA, YOU KNOW, WAKE UP TOMORROW ALL, LIKE, DRUNK
AND HUNG OVER AND COVERED WITH FAT AGAIN.
IF YOU'VE EVER TRIED VOMITING IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM...
WAIT A MINUTE,
IN 1812 THE CANADIANS BURNED DOWN THE WHITE HOUSE?
WE'RE GONNA BE RUN OUT OF CANADA ON A RAIL. OH, MY GOD.
ALL RIGHT, TONY.
♪ 24 HOURS TO GET BACK TO YOU ♪
Closed Captions provided by Scripps Networks, LLC.
Captions by VITAC.
(Anthony) TORONTO-- LARGEST CITY IN CANADA,
FIFTH LARGEST IN NORTH AMERICA.
NEVER BEEN. JUST PASSED THROUGH.
DIDN'T MAKE MUCH OF AN IMPRESSION.
YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ITS REPUTATION.
AND THE WISEACRES OF VANCOUVER AND MONTREAL
WHO SEEM TO GET ALL THE ATTENTION, THEY DON'T HELP,
TALKING (bleep) ABOUT THE PLACE AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY.
IT SEEMS THE REST OF CANADA LOVES TO HATE TORONTO.
IT'S A HICK TOWN.
IT COULD NEVER BE AS EXCITING AS A NEW YORK,
AS A LONDON, AS A PARIS.
WE'RE A COLD PEOPLE.
JUST TALL BUILDINGS AND--AND BUSY, BUSY, BUSY
AND MAKING MONEY.
I DON'T GIVE A (bleep). I THINK IT'S ABSOLUTE (bleep).
BUT THIS MAN, SCOTT VIVIAN
OF TORONTO RESTAURANT BEAST,
ON MY LAST BOOK TOUR FED ME WONDERFUL THINGS
AND CONVINCED ME THAT TORONTO WAS A SUBJECT
I NEEDED TO INVESTIGATE FURTHER AND DEEPER,
SO I DID.
TORONTO IS LOCATED IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. IT'S ON A LAKE.
ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT EITHER.
LAKE ONTARIO. OKAY, I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT.
YOUR PLANE WILL PROBABLY LAND
AT PEARSON INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT,
ABOUT 27 KILOMETERS NORTHWEST OF DOWNTOWN.
EVEN HERE ON THE CURB,
YOU MAY NOTICE IT'S, LIKE, DIFFERENT HERE.
WE'RE A REALLY POLITE CULTURE. SO "THANK YOU,"
"YOU'RE WELCOME," "EXCUSE ME,"
"I'M SORRY" GOES A LONG WAY.
YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE BUS-TO-SUBWAY SAFARI
IF YOU'RE LIGHT ON MONEY
AND DON'T HAVE A LOT OF LUGGAGE.
THE TORONTO TRANSIT COMMISSION COSTS YOU ONLY $2.75
AND A COUPLE HOURS OF YOUR TIME.
THERE'S A SHUTTLE-- NOT THAT MUCH FASTER,
BUT A LITTLE EASIER WITH LUGGAGE
AND WILL SET YOU BACK AROUND $30--
CANADIAN DOLLARS, THAT IS-- FOR A ROUND TRIP.
TAKE A TAXI IF YOU CAN.
ABOUT 50 BUCKS A POP, BUT IT WILL GET YOU
INTO THE CITY IN AROUND 45 MINUTES
RELATIVELY STRESS-FREE.
IT'S NOT A GOOD-LOOKIN' CITY.
NOT A GOOD-LOOKIN' TOWN. THEY SORT OF GOT THE WORST
OF THE ARCHITECTURAL FADS OF THE 20th CENTURY.
THAT'S CRYPTO-FASCIST BAUHAUS. YOU KNOW, MUSSOLINI
WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECTLY AT HOME IN THAT ONE.
AND YOU KNOW, IT LOOKS LIKE EVERY PUBLIC SCHOOL IN AMERICA
AND EVERY THIRD-TIER CITY LIBRARY.
SOVIET CHIC. BUTT-UGLY.
GLASS BOX. WE'VE GOT A ROACH MOTEL.
BUT TORONTO'S STEEL-BOX EXTERIOR CONCEALS, IN FACT,
A UNIQUELY WONDERFUL AND WEIRD INTERIOR.
IF YOU'RE TRAVELING FOR WORK
AND WANT TO STICK YOUR ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT
WITH UNPAID BILLS FOR YOUR SWANK ACCOMMODATION,
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STAY AT THE EXCELLENT RITZ-CARLTON--
COMFORTABLE BEDS AND A GOOD STEAK ON PREMISES.
IF YOU'RE YOUNG, CAREFREE,
STILL GETTING THE OCCASIONAL CHECK FROM MOM,
THEN THE DRAKE HOTEL IN QUEEN WEST
IS EXCELLENT, TOO-- A ROOFTOP LOUNGE SPACE,
AN UNDERGROUND PERFORMANCE SPACE, GOOD FOOD,
A WHOLE LOT OF SCENE AT PRICES MOM CAN AFFORD.
THE DRAKE IS ONE OF TORONTO'S MOST POPULAR SPOTS.
IT'S REALLY CHIC, REALLY TRENDY,
THE PLACE TO BE SEEN IF YOU'RE IN TORONTO, FOR SURE.
IF YOU'RE IN TOWN TO WATCH AN ATHLETIC EVENT,
BASEBALL OR UFC OR HOCKEY OR WHATEVER,
THE RENAISSANCE AT ROGERS CENTRE
IS, WELL, CLOSE,
THOUGH SOME LOCALS WOULD WONDER WHY YOU'D CARE.
YOU CAN GO TO A BLUE JAYS GAME,
BUT IF YOU WANT TO WATCH CRAPPY BASEBALL,
JUST WATCH YOUR KID PLAY IN LITTLE LEAGUE.
THIS IS DAVID SAX,
NATIVE TORONTONIAN, JOURNALIST,
AND AUTHOR OF THE BOOK "SAVE THE DELI."
HIS IDEA OF A WORTHWHILE PASTIME, LIKE MINE,
IS TUCKING IN TO A GREAT SANDWICH.
UNLIKE MONTREAL OR VANCOUVER,
WHICH YOU LAND AT AND YOU'RE LIKE,
OH, MOUNTAINS, SEA,
BEAUTIFUL FRENCH COLONIAL ARCHITECTURE,
YOU KNOW, TORONTO'S CHARMS ARE KIND OF HIDDEN.
YOU GOTTA DIG AROUND IN THE CORNERS.
YOU GOTTA DIG IN THE DIRT A BIT.
AND--AND YOU KNOW, IT OFFERS THOSE LIMITLESS CHARMS.
DAVID AND I ARE WALKING ACROSS TOWN FOR WHAT IS
THE ORIGINAL OLD-SCHOOL TORONTONIAN SANDWICH.
THEY CALL IT HOGTOWN, 'CAUSE IT WAS A CENTER
FOR PORK PROCESSING.
THERE WERE SLAUGHTERHOUSES ALL OVER THE CITY.
YEAH, YEAH, THE SWINE WERE JUST, YOU KNOW,
SQUEALING TO SEND THEIR KIDS TO BED.
IF YOU LISTEN, YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR THEM
SCREAMING THROUGH THE AGES.
I'M HUNGRY.
WELL, THE ST. LAWRENCE MARKET, I MEAN,
IT IS, YOU KNOW, THAT TOP SCHLOCKY,
KIND OF TOURIST DESTINATION.
IT'S THE OLDEST MARKET IN THE CITY,
AND IT'S LIKE OTHER BIG COVERED MARKETS IN OTHER PLACES.
I MEAN, IT'S A GOOD PLACE TO GO GET MEAT OR FISH OR SOMETHING.
BUT WHAT THEY HAVE HERE IS THE PEAMEAL BACON SANDWICH.
AND THIS IS A GREAT SANDWICH.
THE CLASSIC PEAMEAL BACON SANDWICH
AT THE CAROUSEL BAKERY.
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES.
I THINK THEY USED TO BE A LOT MORE WIDESPREAD,
AND SO THIS IS, LIKE, THE LAST--
THIS IS THE TEMPLE HOLDING THE TORCH FOR THEM.
YOU KNOW, IT GOES BACK TO WHEN THE CITY WAS HOGTOWN,
WHEN THIS CITY WAS, LIKE, A LITTLE BASTION
RIGHT.
WITH YOUR ALE YOU WOULD HAVE A SLICE OF PORK LOIN
THAT WAS JUST GRIDDLE-FRIED AND THROWN ON A BUN.
BASICALLY PORK LOIN
THAT'S BEEN ROLLED IN, UM, CORNMEAL.
SO IT USED TO BE PEAMEAL.
AND THAT'S IT. IT'S CURED,
BUT NOT INTENSELY SALTY, LIKE, UM, YOU KNOW, BELLY BACON.
THE PEAMEAL COATING HAD ITS ROOTS, THEY SAY,
IN THE NEED FOR PRESERVATION PRE-REFRIGERATION,
BUT SURVIVED BECAUSE IT WAS TASTY AND CRISPY.
HOUSE MUSTARD CONTAINS MAPLE SYRUP
THAT'S REALLY GOOD WITH THE MUSTARD.
I'M LOVE--I LIKE IT.
OH, OUI. YEAH.
YEAH.
A LIGHT BREAKFAST OF PORK AND REFINED SUGAR.
OF COURSE, THERE ARE OTHER BREAKFAST OPTIONS.
OVER AT EVERGREEN BRICK WORKS MARKET,
A RECLAIMED INDUSTRIAL SITE, THERE'S CHEZVOUS CATERING,
WHERE CHEF/OWNER EZRA TITLE AND CREW
WHIP UP SANDWICHES LIKE GRILLED CHEESE
WITH CARAMELIZED ONIONS AND MAPLE BACON
OR SCRAMBLED EGGS WITH AGED CHEDDAR
AND MAPLE-SMOKED BACON.
DID I MENTION BACON?
ON THE OTHER HAND, AT THE BELLEVUE AT KENSINGTON MARKET,
YOU'D HAVE LOX AND GUACAMOLE ON A BAGEL,
THOUGH WHY YOU WOULD DO THAT I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY.
BUT THE FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST I DO UNDERSTAND,
AND IT'S GOOD.
DAVID AND I ARE HAPPY HERE.
WHO WOULD NOT LOVE THAT?
I THINK THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I SEE TOURISTS MAKE
(all) THE DOWNTOWN CORE.
THERE'S A LOT TO SEE ON THE SMALLER STREETS,
THESE LITTLE POCKETS OF BUSINESSES.
THERE'S LIFE BETWEEN THE STREETS OF TORONTO.
YOU'VE GOTTA DIG IN AND WALK THE RESIDENTIAL STREETS
AND ASK THE LOCALS.
TORONTO'S SUBWAY SYSTEM WORKS.
I URGE YOU TO AVAIL YOURSELF OF IT,
MOSTLY SO THAT YOU CAN GET HERE,
AN AWESOME SHOP UNLIKE ANY OTHER.
TOSHO KNIFE ARTS IN PALMERSTON--
THE KIND OF TORONTO HIDDEN GEM
THAT'S THERE FOR THE TAKING IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK.
I FIND THIS EXPERIENCE VERY FRUSTRATING,
BECAUSE THERE'S A LITTLE VOICE IN MY HEAD ALL THE TIME,
SAYING, "YOU MUST HAVE ALL OF THESE."
YOU KNOW, YOUR LIVING ROOM SHOULD LOOK LIKE THIS.
YOUR 5-YEAR-OLD GIRL WILL LEARN TO RESPECT KNIVES EARLY.
THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN GET YOURSELF A REAL KNIFE
WORTHY OF RESPECT
AND WHERE YOU CAN ALSO LEARN
TO RESPECT IT.
SOMEDAY YOU WILL BE MINE.
OWNERS IVAN FONSECA AND OLIVIA GO
KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT KNIVES,
LIKE WHERE IN THE WORLD TO FIND THE BEST ONES
FOR SALE IN YOUR STORE OR WHICH ONES TO USE FOR WHAT.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR OCTOPUS. THIS ONE FOR NOODLES.
IF YOU WANT TO BUTCHER A FULL CHICKEN.
NOW GIVEN THAT I'M NOT CUTTING
A LOT OF SUSHI AND SASHIMI AT HOME,
IF I'M LOOKING FOR A GOOD ALL-PURPOSE...
YOU WOULD WANT A GYUTO. IT'S THE ONE DOWN HERE.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, THEY KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF,
MAINTAIN, LOVE,
AND KEEP SHARPENED YOUR PURCHASES...
IT TAKES A WHILE. YOU BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KNIFE.
IMPORTANT IF YOU'RE GONNA DROP WHAT YOU CAN ON A BLADE HERE,
ANYWHERE FROM SEVERAL HUNDRED LIKE ME
UP TO MANY, MANY THOUSANDS.
BELIEVE ME, YOU WANT THIS STUFF,
AND YOU NEED THIS KNOWLEDGE.
THEY EVEN KNOW THINGS THEY CAN'T SHARE.
IT'S A SECRET.
IT'S A--OH.
YOU COULD TELL ME, BUT YOU'D HAVE TO KILL ME.
(Ivan) BEST YOU CAN GET ON THE PLANET.
THESE ARE THE BEST YOU CAN GET ON THE PLANET?
THEY'RE THE MOST EXPENSIVE AS WELL
IN TACTICAL KNIVES. AND BY "TACTICAL,"
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT-- THESE ARE PEOPLE KNIVES.
OR LARGE-- LARGE MAMMALS.
LET'S PUT IT THAT WAY.
WHAT'S THAT LITTLE CLIP THERE IN THE CENTER?
IT'S THE BLOOD HOLE
TO ALLOW FOR,
UM, THE KNIFE TO COME OUT OF THE PER--OR THE... (laughs)
YES.
'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT IT TO, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU'RE PULLING IT OUT,
YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE THAT... (smacks lips) EFFECT.
I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS.
EVEN IF I COULD AFFORD THAT, I SHOULDN'T OWN THAT.
THAT--THAT'S A PERSONALITY-ALTERING KNIFE.
THAT'S--MOVIES ARE MADE ABOUT-- KNIVES LIKE THAT TALK TO YOU.
"DON'T LEAVE ME IN THE DRAWER, TONY.
"USE ME. THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU, TONY.
"THEY DON'T RESPECT YOU.
TEACH THEM A LESSON, TONY." (laughs)
OH, MAN, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH.
THE LESS I GET TO KNOW YOU, THE BETTER.
IF THE COLD, BLUE GLEAM OF ARTISAN STEEL
DOESN'T WARM THE COCKLES OF YOUR HEART,
MAYBE SOME BEACH TIME ON LAKE ONTARIO WILL.
TORONTO'S GOT THESE, UH, THESE GREAT KIND OF CHAIN OF ISLANDS,
UH, RIGHT AT THE BASE OF THE CITY.
UH, SO THEY'RE REALLY EASY TO GET TO.
IT'S A 15-MINUTE FERRY RIDE
RIGHT FROM KIND OF THE BOTTOM OF THE DOWNTOWN CORE.
THERE ARE NO CARS ALLOWED.
FERRY RIDE IS LIKE, UH, LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND.
AND AS SOON AS YOU STEP OFF ON THIS END,
YOU CAN RELAX.
THE BEST VIEW OF TORONTO IS FROM THE ISLAND.
THE SKYLINE'S GORGEOUS. THE C.N. TOWER.
THE FERRY IS LESS THAN $10
AND RUNS SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, BUT DO BE ADVISED...
DON'T WANDER AROUND TOO FAR OR YOU'LL HIT HANLAN'S POINT,
WHICH IS THE NAKED BEACH.
OR WANDER AROUND.
ME, I'LL STICK TO NAKED STEEL.
(Anthony) THIS IS AN EXTRAORDINARILY COOL STORE.
YOU KNOW, THE CUSTOMS PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE SO CONFUSED BY ME,
BECAUSE I'VE GOT, LIKE, WINX DOLLS FOR MY DAUGHTER,
YOU KNOW, COMIC BOOKS, AND, YOU KNOW, KNIVES.
♪♪
UH, VANCOUVER'S KNOWN FOR BEING KIND OF A HIPPIE TOWN.
MONTREAL IS KNOWN FOR BEING KIND OF EUROPEAN.
BUT WHAT REALLY SUMS UP THE QUINTESSENCE OF TORONTO
IS THAT IT'S NOT REALLY ONE UNIFIED CITY.
IT'S JUST MADE UP OF LOTS OF LITTLE NEIGHBORHOODS
ALL CONGLOMERATED TOGETHER.
♪ HEY, WORLD ♪
WE HAVE LITTLE PORTUGAL. WE HAVE LITTLE ITALY.
WE HAVE LITTLE INDIA. WE HAVE A FEW CHINATOWNS, TOO.
TORONTO IS AN AMALGAM OF PEOPLE
FROM ALL DIFFERENT PARTS OF--OF CANADA,
FROM THE U.S., FROM GLOBALLY.
♪ HEY, WORLD ♪
DIFFERENT PEOPLE, DIFFERENT CULTURES, DIFFERENT FOOD.
WHEN PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, YOU GET INTO THAT CONVERSATION
AT A PARTY, LIKE, "OH, YOU WERE ACTUALLY BORN HERE?
WOW, I DON'T MEET A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE FROM HERE."
WHENEVER I GO TO THE STATES, THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, TORONTO.
SO THEY SPEAK FRENCH THERE."
THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE SPEAKING SOME DISTINCT,
YOU KNOW, PUNJABI AFGHAN DIALECT IN TORONTO
RIGHT.
IN KENSINGTON MARKET YOU CAN FIND A JOINT
CALLED RONNIE'S LOCAL 069.
I MEET UP WITH DAVID AGAIN FOR A BEER.
ONE THING THIS CITY DOES LOVE IS ITS PATIOS.
AND IT-- IT'S A WINTER CITY.
WE'VE GOT PEOPLE OUT HERE IN NOVEMBER IN HATS AND JACKETS,
DRINKING TO KIND OF SUCK THE LIFE
OUT OF THE LAST TRENCHES OF HEAT.
THERE'S A WILLIAMSBURG-INESS TO THIS.
THINGS ARE JUST HAPPENING.
THINGS JUST KIND OF CRASH UP AGAINST EACH OTHER,
AND THEY MAKE THIS CRAZY-*** MIX AND YOU GET A PLACE LIKE THIS--
CRACK HOUSE NEXT TO A COOL, AWESOME BAR
NEXT TO A PLACE THAT'S SELLING JAMAICAN BEEF PATTIES
ALL WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE.
GENERALLY, THIS SHOW IS PART OF, REGARDLESS OF OUR INTENTIONS,
WE'RE PART OF A DESTRUCTIVE PROCESS.
SO, UH, DON'T COME HERE.
YEAH. (laughing) DON'T INSTAGRAM.
YES, DO NOT INSTAGRAM THIS PLACE.
GIVEN THAT OVER 50% OF THE POPULATION
ARE FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE,
WHAT MIGHT BE THE-- THE VIRTUES
OF YOUR IDEAL TORONTONIAN?
WELL, I THINK IT'S, YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU GET
IS KIND OF THIS MIX OF THE FOUNDATIONAL CULTURE,
WHICH WAS THIS KIND OF MODEST SCOTTISH PRESBYTERIANISM.
UM, YOU KNOW,
VERY PRO-PROHIBITION AND CHURCH ON SUNDAY...
AND A STRONG MODESTY,
BUT WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE THAT CAME FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD,
THEY KIND OF BROUGHT A LITTLE MORE FLAVOR,
A LITTLE MORE FLAIR, A LITTLE MORE, YOU KNOW, ABRASIVENESS.
AND YET YOU STILL GET THAT POLITENESS.
THIS AREA, KENSINGTON MARKET,
PRESBYTERIANS. 'CAUSE YOU...
YOU SLAUGHTERED ALL THE CATHOLICS OR DEPORT THEM
WELL, THEY JUST WENT TO QUEBEC.
YEAH.
YOU SEEM TO HAVE REVERTED TO CENTURIES OF NICENESS.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, WE'VE LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.
WALKING AROUND KENSINGTON IS A GREAT WAY
TO SPEND A COUPLE OF HOURS.
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN KENSINGTON MARKET.
YOU KNOW? AND THAT'S THE FUN PART.
PEOPLE COME TO PEOPLE-WATCH.
AND THERE'S THIS ORGANIZED CHAOS ON THE STREET.
♪ ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME ♪
KENSINGTON MARKET, BE QUIET FOR A SECOND.
YEAH, THIS IS...
A GREAT AREA FOR JUST HITTING UP, LIKE, RANDOM SMALL EATS.
EVERYONE'S LIKE, "OH, IT'S A MULTICULTURAL CITY.
IT'S A MULTICULTURAL CITY."
BUT THIS IS WHERE THEY ALL COME TOGETHER.
THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF OUR LOWER EAST SIDE.
THIS IS IT.
HIDDEN INSIDE THIS MINI FOOD COURT
IS AGAVE & AGUACATE.
SO THERE'S A MEXICAN CHURRO PLACE.
THERE'S A--THERE WAS A VENEZUELAN AREPA PLACE.
AND THIS GUY HERE...
THIS GUY, FRANCISCO ALEJANDRI, AND ANITA HERE
ARE MAKING SOME OF THE MOST AMAZING MEXICAN TAKEOUT
NORTH OF THE BORDER-- ANY BORDER.
THEY HAVE THE BEEF TONGUE, THE LENGUA.
PIPIáN LOOKS INTERESTING.
TENDER BEEF TONGUE WITH MOLE SAUCE
FLAVORED WITH ANCHOS, PASILLA, AND GUAJILLO CHILIES
JACKED WITH CLOVES AND BLACK PEPPER,
GARNISHED WITH SWEET PLANTAIN.
WHAT'S THE ANITA TOSTADA?
ANITA WAS STARVING, MAN, AND SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EAT.
LAYERED ON AVOCADO,
PINTO BEANS WITH CHORIZO,
PECORINO FRESCO, HOMEMADE CREMA FRESCA,
HABANERO, AND PUYA SAUCE.
AND MAYBE A, UH, AGUACHILE AS WELL.
AGUACHILE IS A HOLLOWED-OUT CUCUMBER
SPICED WITH PEQUIN PEPPERS, FILLED WITH TOMATO,
LIME JUICE, AND SHRIMP WITH CHIMICHURRI.
MMM.
SEE, THE SMARTEST THING I EVER DID WAS ORDER THIS.
IT'S COMPLETELY AWESOME.
HE'S, LIKE, SUPER PRECISE, YOU KNOW.
WHEN THERE'S A LINE OF 20 PEOPLE THERE,
MM-HMM.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL FOOD.
IT'S REALLY DELICIOUS AND MAKING ME REALLY HAPPY. THANK YOU.
THEY'RE MOVING LOCATION,
BUT CATCH THEM WHEREVER THEY GO.
MEXICAN NOT ON YOUR TO-DO LIST?
I'M NOT SURE WHY AFTER THAT, BUT OKAY,
YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT CITY, AT LEAST, FOR OPTIONS.
YOU CAN, UH, EAT EVERY DAY IN A DIFFERENT RESTAURANT
YEAR-ROUND AND KEEP GOING FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS.
LIKE KABOB? I DO.
ALTONA KABOB IN PERSIAN PLAZA HAS GOT THIS.
KOOBIDEH KABOB-- SIZZLING, SMOKY, MEATY,
GRILLED FRESH TO ORDER
AND SERVED WITH THE USUAL GARNISHES.
BUT PERHAPS YOU REQUIRE SOMETHING MORE PORCINE...
LIKE, SAY, THIS?
YEAH. IF YOU'RE NEAR TORONTO'S LITTLE ITALY, YOU MIGHT--
YOU SHOULD GET YOUR SORRY *** OVER TO BAIRRADA CHURRASQUEIRA
ON COLLEGE STREET FOR PORTUGUESE.
LOCALS CONTEND THAT THE CHICKEN IS THE WAY TO GO,
BUT LOOK AT THIS... THIS.
IF GERMAN SAUSAGES ARE WHAT YOU NEED,
THINK CLASSIC GERMAN BEER HALL OR NOT.
WVRST IS NOT THAT. IT'S BETTER.
IN KING WEST, LOST SOULS CAN WHILE AWAY THE HOURS
WITH LOCALLY MADE SAUSAGES OF EVERY VARIETY--
DUCK, ELK, VENISON,
AND A CHOICE OF 32 BEERS,
ACCOMPANIED PERHAPS BY DIRTY DUCK FRIES,
BELGIAN-STYLE FRIES COOKED IN DUCK FAT
AND PILED WITH SAUTéED PEPPERS AND ONIONS,
JALAPEÑOS, AND A SPECIAL SAUCE.
I FIND THAT TORONTO IS A CITY
WHERE EVERYTHING IS AVAILABLE TO YOU AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR FOOD,
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ENTERTAINMENT,
YOU CAN ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT.
IT'S KIND OF AN INSTANT GRATIFICATION
KIND OF PLACE TO LIVE.
HITS AND MISSES RECORDS IS THIS LITTLE PLACE ON QUEEN WEST.
AND I USED TO WORK AT THE RECORD SHOP RIGHT BESIDE IT
CALLED ROTATE THIS. AND HITS AND MISSES IS GREAT.
IT'S THIS LITTLE PUNK RECORD SHOP.
THEY'VE GOT A MILLION 7-INCHES,
STUFF THAT YOU'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF BEFORE.
YEP. NICE TO MEET YOU.
THE GUY, PETE, IS THIS GRUMPY OLD DUDE
WHO'S TOTALLY AWESOME, LIKE THIS OLD PUNK.
AND IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT,
HE'LL TALK WITH YOU FOR HOURS ON THIS.
AND MY OLD BOSS AT ROTATE IS GONNA KILL ME WHEN HE SEES THIS.
(Pete) YES.
YOU ARE. YEAH, CDs ARE JUST DONE.
THEY'RE GOING TO GO THE WAY OF THE 8-TRACK.
YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU LOSING WHEN YOU MOVE TO, UH, CD?
WARMTH AND, I THINK, BOTTOM END.
YOU KNOW, FOR ME, YOU'D GET THE ALBUM,
WHICH YOU--CHANCES ARE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
YOU'D BEEN HEARING ABOUT IT. AND BEFORE YOU PLAYED IT,
YOU'D SIT THERE AND LOOK AT IT, FIRST OF ALL.
YOU'D SAY, WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO TELL ME WITH THIS--
THIS PICTURE? YOU'D STARE AT THIS THING FOR A LONG TIME.
THEN YOU'D CAREFULLY TURN IT AROUND,
AND YOU'D READ THE LINER NOTES.
YOU'D LOOK AT ALL THE OTHER PICTURES.
I MEAN, YOU'D DISCUSS WITH YOUR FRIENDS WHAT CLUES--
WHAT COULD THEY HAVE MEANT BY THIS?
IT WAS AN ENTIRE STORY IN THE COVER ART.
THERE WERE, LIKE, THREE OR FOUR ALBUMS I SOLD
YEAH.
THE TIME THAT I READ IN YOUR BOOK?
YEAH, THAT I-- THAT I REALLY REGRET.
I WANT TO START REBUILDING MY COLLECTION.
SO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR KIND OF MAYBE SOME MORE OLDER STUFF?
POKING AROUND?
YEAH.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED THIS ALBUM, BUT YOU DO.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS DANGEROUS STUFF, THOUGH,
'CAUSE IF YOU GET INTO THIS TOO--TOO HARD...
YOU KNOW THAT'S GOOD.
OOH, THE BUTTSHAKERS.
WOW, THIS IS A REAL CULT ITEM.
WHY AM I UNAWARE OF THIS?
OH, TED.
I'M OBVIOUSLY GONNA NEED SOME TIME.
(whispering) WE CAN GO DEEPER, MUCH DEEPER.
WHILE I BROWSE, CONSIDER THESE OTHER IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATIONS.
(woman) HELLO, AND WELCOME TO THE METRO TORONTO ZOO.
OH!
(gunshots)
YOU COULD GO OVER TO COMEDY BAR IN THE ANNEX.
CANADIANS ARE FUNNY, REALLY FUNNY.
IN FACT, MOST EVERYBODY FUNNY IN AMERICA
ACTUALLY CAME FROM CANADA.
NOTHING I LOVE MORE THAN SOME IMPROV--
ACTUALLY, NO, I-I HATE IMPROV.
HUMOR GOES A REALLY LONG WAY, AS DOES SARCASM.
I WOULD SAY THAT WOULD BE SORT OF WHAT IDENTIFIES US.
OR THERE'S THIS-- SPIN IN KING WEST--
1,200 FEET OF THIS.
RESERVE ME A TABLE-- A TURNTABLE THAT IS.
I'LL STICK TO SPINNING VINYL.
EVERYBODY'S DEAD. IT'S TROUBLING.
IT'S LIKE THE OLD COUPLE READING THE OBITUARIES EVERY SUNDAY.
"OH, I DIDN'T KNOW HE PASSED."
AFTER 20 YEARS BY THE WAY,
PETE HAS HAD TO CLOSE THE DOORS OF HITS AND MISSES,
WHICH MEANS I WASTED A WHOLE (bleep)-LOAD OF TIME
ON YET ANOTHER PLACE THAT ISN'T HERE ANYMORE BY AIR TIME.
I'M VERY PLEASED.
PETE PLANS ON FINDING OTHER VENUES
TO SELL HIS COLLECTION, SO CHECK INTO IT.
IN THE MEANTIME, EVENING APPROACHES
AND NIGHTLIFE IN TORONTO IS NOTHING CLOSE TO TAME.
TIME TO GET ***.
IF YOU'RE COMING HERE AS A TOURIST,
I THINK YOU HAD BEST WATCH YOURSELF
AND DEPOSIT YOUR RECYCLING IN THE RECYCLING BINS,
NOT IN THE LITTER.
WE'RE VERY JUDGY ABOUT WHO RECYCLES AND HOW MUCH AND WHERE.
GIVEAWAY IF YOU'RE FROM TORONTO IS THAT YOU SAY "T'RONTO,"
AND YOU DROP THE FIRST "O."
AND YOU JUST KIND OF BLEND THE WORD ALL TOGETHER.
AND IF YOU'RE NOT FROM TORONTO, YOU SAY "TOE-RON-TOE"
EVERYONE THINKS WE LIVE IN A PLACE THAT'S REALLY COLD.
THEY THINK OF CANADA, THINK OR TORONTO,
THINK WE'RE SOMEWHERE IN THE ARCTIC.
IT'S NOT FREEZING AS IF WE LIVED UP WITH THE POLAR BEARS.
YOU'RE WELCOME TO COME HERE AND NOT BRING A WINTER COAT
IN THE SUMMERTIME.
EVENING APPROACHES
LIKE THE SLOW CRAWL OF A WOUNDED BONOBO
DRAGGING HIMSELF ACROSS THE JUNGLE FLOOR
WITH A KNIFE BETWEEN HIS TEETH AND A BAD ATTITUDE.
HOW YOU DOING?
NICE TO SEE YOU IN TORONTO.
THIS IS COCKTAIL BAR IN TORONTO'S LITTLE ITALY,
A PERFECT PLACE FOR A PRE-DINNER NEGRONI.
CHEERS.
THIS IS CHEZVOUS CATERING OWNER AND CHEF EZRA TITLE,
WHO YOU MAY REMEMBER FROM EARLIER.
AND THIS IS ROSE AND SONS CHEF ANTHONY ROSE.
BOTH ARE TAPPED INTO THE MAIN VEIN
OF TORONTO CULTURAL CULINARY LIFE.
AND AS PROUD CITIZENS,
THEY'VE OFFERED THEMSELVES UP AS AMBASSADORS
FOR THEIR FAIR, IF UNDERAPPRECIATED CITY.
I THINK FOR A LONG TIME,
WE SORT OF LOOKED AT OTHER PLACES.
LIKE, WE'VE ALWAYS KIND OF REDONE RATHER THAN REWORKED.
SO IN TERMS OF THE ARCHITECTURE,
WE DID HAVE GORGEOUS ARCHITECTURE,
BUT WE'VE ALWAYS GOTTA-- WHEN IT'S TIME TO GENTRIFY,
WE JUST BREAK THE BUILDING DOWN AND START AGAIN.
NO, BUT THE SAME THING WITH FOOD.
LIKE, FOR A LONG TIME IT WAS
LOOK AT WHAT THE TRENDS ARE HAPPENING IN THE FOOD WORLD,
AND THEN MIMIC THEM HERE.
FOR A LONG TIME.
BUT RECENTLY, YOU KNOW,
CHEFS ARE DEVELOPING THEIR OWN PERSONALITIES
AND PUTTING IT ON THE PLATES.
AND WE'VE GOT A REALLY GOOD FOOD SCENE NOW.
YOU SEEM TO HAVE CAUGHT THE BROOKLYN SPORE HERE.
THERE'S A LOT OF DO-IT-YOURSELF.
PEOPLE ARE HANGING UP A SHINGLE AND DOING THEIR OWN THING.
FRANKLY, IT'S PRETTY (bleep) EXCITING.
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
COCKTAIL BAR IS APPROPRIATELY PERFECTLY LOCATED
DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE BLACK HOOF--
SAME OWNER, IN FACT.
THE NUMBER ONE MOST RECOMMENDED RESTAURANT IN TORONTO
HAS EASILY BEEN THIS PLACE.
THE BLACK HOOF IS A FABULOUS RESTAURANT.
SOME PEOPLE REFER TO THEM AS A NOSE-TO-TAIL SORT OF PLACE,
BUT IN A VERY AFFECTIONATE WAY.
THE OWNER IS ONE OF THE GREATEST MIXOLOGISTS IN TORONTO.
WHEN YOU HAVE A DISH THERE, UH, I-I'M PRETTY SURE
YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING QUITE LIKE IT BEFORE,
AND YOU'RE GONNA REMEMBER IT.
A LOT OF CHEFS HAVE SORT OF LAUNCHED NEW RESTAURANTS
FROM THEIR TIME AT THE BLACK HOOF.
SO IT'S SORT OF A STAPLE IN TORONTO.
NOSE TO TAIL, EH?
YOUR LIVER AND ONION.
THE LIVER IS STUFFED WITH A MOUSSE.
THE ONIONS ARE CIPPOLINIS. THEY GET BRAISED AND ROASTED.
THERE'S ROASTED HEN-OF-THE-WOODS MUSHROOMS,
YOU KNOW THAT'S GOOD.
OH, NICE.
SLIGHTLY BRûLéED.
THERE'S COMPRESSED PEAR, FRESH PEAR, CRISPY ONIONS,
VERY EXCITING. THANK YOU.
MMM. THAT'S A GREAT DISH.
(Anthony R.) YEAH, IT'S VERY-- IT'S VERY APPROACHABLE, EH?
(man) HERE'S THE BEEF HEARTS
WITH MAYO-MARINATED MUSSELS, SAUTéED ASPARAGUS,
GREMOLATA, AND BROWN BUTTER BREAD CRUMBS.
KOOKY COMBINATION, BUT IT MAKES SENSE.
SO WE HAVE OUR SPICY HORSE TARTARE.
THIS IS BLACK HOOF OWNER JEN AGG.
AND, YES, YOU HEARD RIGHT.
THE DELIGHTFUL HORSE TARTARE,
THE ORIGINAL TARTARE, ACTUALLY.
MADE SPICY WITH ANDOUILLE, A CALABRIAN SALAMI,
CAPER HOLLANDAISE, HICKORY STICKS,
MINT AND FENNEL FRONDS ON TOP AND SOME PICKLED GREEN BEANS.
BEAUTIFUL, THANK YOU.
YEAH, SO MY DAUGHTER IS REACHING THAT AGE
WHERE SHE LIKES PONIES.
SO NOW I CAN, LIKE, BRING HER HERE.
HERE'S YOUR (bleep) PONY RIGHT HERE.
(Ezra) DADDY BOUGHT YOU A PONY.
DADDY DID BUY YOU A PONY AFTER ALL.
YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE'D BE COOL WITH THAT.
YEAH. THOROUGHLY AND COMPLETELY DELICIOUS.
(man) IT'S THE BEEF TONGUE ON BRIOCHE.
THIS IS WHERE IT ALL STARTED.
OVER TOP-- TARRAGON MAYONNAISE.
WOW.
YEAH.
HOLY GOD, LOOK AT THAT EVEREST
OF STEAMING TONGUE.
WAIT A MINUTE, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
IF THIS IS ONE OF THE HOTTEST RESTAURANTS IN TORONTO,
WHICH IT CLEARLY IS, THEN CLEARLY ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT IS IT'S VERY EXPERIMENTAL RIGHT NOW.
IF I WASN'T EATING HERE, BY THE WAY,
I'D BE OVER AT SCOTT VIVIAN'S BEAST IN KING WEST.
HE AND HIS FOOD GOT ME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, AFTER ALL,
AND IT IS DELICIOUS.
THERE ARE MANY TASTY CREATURES ON THE MENU AT BEAST.
AND IT'S SEASONAL AND LOCAL,
SO YOUR CONSCIENCE SHOULD BE CLEAR WHILE YOU EAT IT.
THE MAN KNOWS THE GOOD STUFF,
AND HE KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
ALSO IN KING WEST-- EDULIS,
NAMED AFTER CHEF MICHAEL CABALLO'S
FAVORITE WILD MUSHROOM.
HE HAS THE FORAGING BUG,
AND WHEN NOT GATHERING WILD STUFF FROM THE WOODS,
HE'S IN THE KITCHEN COOKING 'EM.
IF MUSHROOMS DON'T GIVE YOU A BIG ***, DON'T WORRY,
THERE'S LOTS OF OTHER GOOD STUFF ON THE MENU.
BUT I'M GUESSING YOU PROBABLY WON'T FIND THIS.
THEY DO SOMETHING HERE
BACK AT BLACK HOOF,
IT'S TIME FOR SOME TASTY, TASTY BONE MARROW.
I AM AWARE OF THIS PRACTICE, BY THE WAY.
IT IS EXTREMELY ANTISOCIAL
AND AGAINST ALL STANDARDS OF DECENCY,
ALL RIGHT.
BONE LUGE-- START WITH A BONE.
YEAH.
YOU GOT A BIG ONE.
AFTER REMOVING ALL THE DELICIOUS MARROW
BY SLURPING AND SUCKING IT OUT...
CAN WE LIGHT IT ON FIRE WHILE IT GOES IN OR...
I JUST--I FEEL LIKE A SHOOTER GIRL,
AND IT'S ACTUALLY JUST A LITTLE APPEALING, I THINK.
RIGHT, WE SHOULD PUT ON MUSIC FOR THIS.
YES, EZ, GO, GO.
ADD BOURBON-- LOTS OF BOURBON--
TILL YOU CAN'T TAKE NO MORE. REPEAT.
MMM. I'VE BEEN ***.
I'M GONNA, YOU KNOW, WAKE UP TOMORROW
ALL, LIKE, DRUNK AND HUNG OVER AND COVERED WITH FAT...
AGAIN.
I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS.
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED VOMITING IN A--IN A--
IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM, AND YOU'RE 6'4"?
TRUST ME, IT'S AN EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE EXPERIENCE,
BECAUSE YOU HAVE TWO VERY UNATTRACTIVE OPTIONS.
YOU EITHER LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN WITH YOUR *** HANGING OUT
IN THE--IN THE AISLE,
OR YOU CAN CURL YOURSELF INTO AN "S" SHAPE WHERE--
WHICH IS REALLY NOT CONDUCIVE TO THE SORT OF FREE EXPRESSION
OF WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.
♪♪
I THINK, UH, WHAT UNITES TORONTONIANS
IS ENJOYING COMPLAINING ABOUT POLITICS,
ENJOYING COMPLAINING ABOUT THE WEATHER,
ENJOYING COMPLAINING ABOUT TRANSIT,
ALL OF THESE THINGS THAT SORT OF UNITE US.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT HOSERS.
WE DON'T DRINK MAPLE SYRUP. WE DON'T SAY "EH."
ACTUALLY, NO, WE DO SAY "EH" A LOT.
TORONTONIANS ARE PROUD OF THEIR CITY, YEAH.
THAT'S HOW YOU CAN TELL WHO'S A TORONTONIAN.
NOTHING BEATS TORONTO IN CANADA.
SORRY FOR THE REST OF CANADA, BUT IT'S TRUE.
YOU WANT TO COME HERE. YOU KNOW YOU DO.
TORONTO--YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE THEY HAVE? GREAT FOOD.
YOU KNOW THAT. COMEDY? CHECK.
BARS? ROGER THAT. BUT ALSO MUSIC.
GREAT BANDS, BANDS LIKE (bleep) UP.
ACTUALLY, THERE AREN'T ANY BANDS LIKE (bleep) UP.
THEY STAND ALONE IN THEIR AWESOMENESS.
MAYBE YOU'VE SEEN THEM ON SUCH SHOWS AS MINE
OR THE COVER OF "SPIN" MAGAZINE
OR--OH, LOOK, HERE THEY ARE.
WE'RE ALL BORN HERE.
WE'RE LIKE A--WE'RE A BAND THAT'S ALL BORN AND RAISED.
WE'RE A BAND FROM TORONTO THAT EVERYBODY'S KIND OF
FROM THE DOWNTOWN CORE.
YOU'VE GOTTEN A LOT OF ATTENTION.
UH, MOST--MOST PEOPLE WOULD BE, YOU KNOW, IN L.A. BY NOW
OR WHEREVER. WHY ARE YOU-- WHY ARE YOU HERE?
'CAUSE TORONTO IS--IT'S FIERCELY LOYAL TO ITSELF.
EVERYBODY FROM TORONTO DEFENDS TORONTO TILL THE END,
RIGHT.
WE'RE CALLED (bleep) UP.
I'M 300 POUNDS. THIS IS THE CEILING.
THIS IS IT. WE MADE IT! TOP OF THE WORLD!
(laughing)
YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU CLEARLY MADE
SOME IMPORTANT CAREER DECISIONS EARLY ON.
LIKE HIGHLY DISCRIMINATING TASTE
IN DRINKING ESTABLISHMENTS,
SUCH AS COLD TEA IN KENSINGTON MARKET,
AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF A REFINED
AND WONDERFUL BAR
DISCRETELY TUCKED AWAY FROM THE HERD.
ENTER THROUGH AN UNMARKED DOOR,
PASS BY THE LADY SELLING AUTHENTIC DIM SUM,
CONTINUE ON YOUR WAY TO FIND BEVERAGES.
WOULD CELINE DION BE WELCOME HERE OR MOCKED?
SHE WOULD BE MOCKED.
THIS IS A SIGNIFICANT ARGUMENT RIGHT AWAY
(laughs)
WHAT ARE THE VIRTUES-- THE IDEAL TORONTONIAN?
IF WE CAN TIE THIS INTO WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW,
I THINK RESOURCEFULNESS IS THE NUMBER ONE VALUE
OF TORONTO, BECAUSE THIS PLACE, COLD TEA,
COMES FROM GET DRUNK--TRYING TO BUY DRINKS AFTER HOURS.
AFTER--AFTER LAST CALL YOU GO TO A RESTAURANT,
YOU ORDER COLD TEA, AND YOU GET A TEAPOT FULL OF BEER.
THERE'S BEER CANS HERE.
I THINK--WELL, THAT'S THE THING.
UNDER, LIKE, ANY REGIME THAT KIND OF RESTRICTS FUN,
FUN HAPPENS, YOU KNOW?
SO MacGYVER WOULD BE THE ULTIMATE TORONTONIAN.
MacGYVER--PROBABLY IN EVERY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.
ONE THING THAT TORONTO DOESN'T LIKE IS THE NIGHTLIFE.
WE'RE KIND OF KNOWN FOR THAT IN CANADA.
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE TEND TO SHOW UP AT BARS AROUND MIDNIGHT,
AND THAT'S USUALLY WHEN THINGS SORT OF GET HAPPENING.
YOU DON'T GO TO ONE BAR IN ONE NIGHT.
YOU GO TO AS MANY BARS AS YOUR LEGS
CAN TAKE YOU IN ONE NIGHT AND THEN SOME.
YOU MIGHT SEE PUNK BANDS LIKE, WELL, THIS ONE
AT SNEAKY DEE'S, BUT THEY'RE HANGIN' WITH ME, SO...
MOVING ON, WE COULD HAVE GONE
TO THE HORSESHOE TAVERN IN QUEEN WEST.
IT'S AN OLD ***-TONK TURNED ROCK 'N' ROLL VENUE
THAT SORT OF NEVER BOTHERED TO REDECORATE.
THE DAKOTA TAVERN ON THE OSSINGTON STRIP
WOULD HAVE, COULD HAVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION.
OLD- AND NEW-STYLE MUSIC BUT WITH OLD-STYLE DRINKS
AND OLD-STYLE GRIME.
BUT WE CHOOSE THIRSTY & MISERABLE.
THIS IS ACTUALLY WHERE WE PLAYED OUR FIRST SHOW WITH ME SINGING.
THE FIRST TIME I EVER BROKE A BOTTLE ON MY HEAD
WHAT'S THE BEST SINGLE THING ABOUT THIS TOWN?
THE FACT THAT IT'S A BIG CITY WITH A SMALL-TOWN HEART.
YOU KNOW? IT'S LIKE EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE,
BUT IT'S ALSO LIKE YOU'VE GOT THE, UH,
TRADITIONAL FOODS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.
UM, JEEZ, THIS IS REALLY EMBARRASSING,
'CAUSE THEY PROBABLY WATCH THIS SHOW.
I DO KNOW--I DO KNOW THEM, THOUGH. WE DO TALK.
MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR'S NAME IS ED KUNTZ, BY THE WAY.
YEAH.
PHONY PHONE CALL.
YEAH, PHONY PHONE CALL.
IT'S A PLACE THAT HAS MANY SECRETS IN A LOT OF WAYS.
THERE ISN'T A LOT OF, LIKE, FREE-FLOWING INFORMATION
UNLESS YOU'RE HERE FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME.
AND THEN YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.
AND THAT'S KIND OF THE BEST PART.
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THIS?
ALL THE BEST PEOPLE COME TO TORONTO,
AND THEY DO THEIR THING AND...
WE'RE GONNA BE--
WE'RE GONNA BE RUN OUT OF CANADA ON A RAIL.
(indistinct conversation)
CAN YOU--CAN WE PUBLICLY, LIKE, ABSOLUTELY DECRY THE C.N. TOWER?
THE C.N. TOWER IS TERRIBLE. IT'S A LONG LINEUP
WITH (bleep) FOOD, A HIGH PRICE, AND A GLASS FLOOR.
LOOK IF YOU'RE IN TOWN FOR A LAYOVER OF ONLY 36 HOURS,
DO YOU WANT TO SPEND AN HOUR AND A HALF OF IT
WAITING IN LINE TO GO UP A (bleep) TOWER?
WELL, LIKE, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A ROTATING RESTAURANT
NO. IT'S NEVER EXISTED IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
WHAT WE'RE DOING IS--
AND I FIND THIS AN INTERESTING CHOICE ON YOUR PART--
YEAH.
WHICH WE'RE--YOU'RE-- YOU'RE TAKING ON THE ENEMY
(laughs)
SATURDAY NIGHT, 3:00 A.M., YOU JUST CAME OUT OF THE CLUB
AND YOU'RE STARVING.
WHERE DO YOU GO? POUTINI'S.
THIS IS POUTINI'S IN QUEEN WEST.
AND, YES, QUEBEC, WE KNOW YOU DO IT BEST.
THAT'S THE PROVINCE NEXT DOOR TO ONTARIO HERE,
CONTAINING SUCH CITIES AS MONTREAL.
WE KNOW IT'S, LIKE, YOUR THING. BUT SHOW A LITTLE LOVE
FOR THE EXCELLENT POUTINI'S, PLEASE.
JUST WHAT YOUR DRUNK MONTREAL *** NEEDS
WHEN YOU'VE BEEN AWAY TOO LONG AND FIND YOURSELF
OUT LATE IN TORONTO. DELICIOUS.
THE CHEESE AND THE GRAVY ARE OOZING,
AND YOUR STOMACH IS JUST SCREAMING FOR IT.
ALL RIGHT, GO.
HOLY JEBUS, THAT IS A TOWER OF STUFF.
GOOD GOD, LOOK AT THAT.
OOH, THAT'S GOOD--
MORALLY WRONG, BUT GOOD.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, COME ON.
WHO--WHO WOULDN'T LOVE THIS?
THESE ARE HAND-CUT, CORRECTLY BLANCHED,
AND THEN FRIED AGAIN FRIES.
SO NO COMPLAINT WITH THE FRIES. THEY'RE PERFECT.
AS THE CLASSIC RECIPE DEMANDS,
ARE THEN RUINED BY THE APPLICATION
OF A DELICIOUS GRAVY,
LAYERED WITH PERFECTLY EXCELLENT CHEESE CURDS.
UH, I'M SORRY, WHAT'S--
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE.
THIS IS LIKE A SOLID LEADER POUTINE, I THINK.
THIS--THIS IS EXCELLENT POUTINE.
I KNOW I'M GONNA GET A LOT OF (bleep) FROM MY--
MY, UH, FRIENDS IN MONTREAL.
YES.
I'M NOT GETTING INVOLVED IN THAT.
PICK A SIDE, SON.
YOU GOTTA MAKE-- YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
FRENCH FRIES DROWNED IN ALL SORTS OF SINISTER SAUCES
AND CONDIMENTS NOT WHAT YOU LOVE?
OKAY, HOW ABOUT SPENCE'S WEST INDIAN BAKERY
IN LITTLE JAMAICA FOR SOME JERK CHICKEN?
THAT (bleep) WILL SOBER YOU UP,
AND YOUR BURNING *** TOMORROW MORNING
WILL SERVE AS A WARNING TO NEVER GET SO DRUNK AGAIN.
IN KOREATOWN, OWL OF MINERVA IS OPEN 24 HOURS,
SERVING KOREAN COMFORT CLASSICS
LIKE HOT BOWLS OF BONE SOUP,
SLOW-SIMMER PORK BONES IN A SPICY BROTH,
WHICH I CAN TELL YOU FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
WILL DEFINITELY SET YOU RIGHT.
BUT THE BAND AND I HAVE MADE OUR CHOICE.
WELL, I THINK WE'VE LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.
IT'S AMAZING, EH?
THIS--BEFORE IT LOOKED LIKE AN INSURMOUNTABLE EVEREST.
BUT NOW IT LOOKS DOABLE.
THEY SAY IN QUEBEC THAT THIS CURES HANGOVERS.
THAT'S WHAT-- THAT'S WHAT I HEAR.
YEAH, I HEAR IT, LIKE, GREASES YOU DOWN.
I HAVE TO SAY THAT BACON WAS KIND OF A GOOD CHOICE.
BACON'S AN AMAZING CHOICE. THIS PLACE IS AMAZING.
WE SHOULD PROBABLY COME BACK HERE FOR BREAKFAST, THEN.
♪♪
WHAT'S A FUN THING TO KNOW ABOUT CANADIANS
IS THAT WE'RE NOT AMERICANS,
ALTHOUGH WE DO HAVE A SPECIAL AFFINITY
AND A STRANGE RELATIONSHIP, BUT A GOOD ONE ALL THE SAME.
WE'RE VERY HUMBLE. WHEN WE'RE QUIET,
IT DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE WEAK.
WE'RE PROBABLY JUST, UH, MAKING FUN OF YOU IN FRENCH
BEHIND YOUR BACK.
TO ME ANYWAY, IT SEEMS LIKE OUR ATTITUDES
ARE A LITTLE KINDER, A LITTLE GENTLER,
A LITTLE LESS ABRUPT WITH THE THINGS
THAT WE SORT OF PUT OUT THERE.
THEY SAY THAT CANADA COULD HAVE BEEN
THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD,
'CAUSE IT COULD HAVE HAD AMERICAN TECHNOLOGY,
FRENCH CUISINE, AND BRITISH CULTURE,
BUT INSTEAD WE GOT AMERICAN CULTURE,
FRENCH TECHNOLOGY, AND BRITISH CUISINE.
BREAKFAST, DAY TWO, TORONTO.
THE HANGOVER SCENE. SO HERE WE GO.
LET'S PLAY OUT THIS DREARY SHAM OF SCENARIO
ONE MORE TIME,
JUST IN CASE WE HAVEN'T BEATEN IT TO DEATH
FOR, LIKE, EIGHT YEARS.
OOH, I'M SO HUNG OVER. WHAT WILL I DO TO MITIGATE
THE RESULTS OF MY HILARIOUS CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM?
HOW ABOUT ROTI?
BACCHUS ROTI IN PARKDALE BEING AN EXCELLENT OPTION.
ROTI IS A FLAT, UNLEAVENED BREAD
POPULAR IN SOUTHEAST ASIA AND PARTS OF INDIA.
I HEAR THE JERK CHICKEN ROTI IS THE WAY TO GO.
OH, YEAH.
ROTI IS ALSO POPULAR IN THE CARIBBEAN,
BROUGHT OVER BY INDIAN TRADERS AND MERCHANTS, NO DOUBT.
ANYWAY, IT'S GOOD,
IF HEAVY AND SPICY.
(exhales deeply)
OOH, I'M TELLING YOU, THAT'S GONNA BURN LATER.
TIME FOR A POOP JOKE, DIARRHEA JOKE,
"MY *** IS BURNING" JOKE? NAH.
SO WHILE I'M ENJOYING MY ROTI,
LET'S SEE WHAT OTHER WONDERS OF TORONTO I MIGHT ENJOY.
IF YOU NEED A LESS SPICY SOLUTION
TO HANGOVER WOES, YOU MIGHT RUN OVER
TO BURGER'S PRIEST IN LESLIEVILLE,
BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T CRAVE
A MORNING (bleep) HAMBURGER WHEN HUNG OVER?
THERE'S A SECRET MENU
INVOLVING CRIMES AGAINST NATURE LIKE THIS,
A SPECIAL BURGER
THAT USES GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES FOR A BUN.
INSERT ARTERY-CLOGGING JOKE HERE, RIGHT?
YEP. HOW ABOUT "FINGERS AND TOES FALLING OFF" JOKES?
TOO HARSH? NOPE.
GOT GOUT?
OVER IN LITTLE ITALY YOU'VE GOT THE "SANGWICH" OPTION
AT THE STRANGELY NAMED FOR LITTLE ITALY
CALIFORNIA SANDWICHES.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I WANT, LIKE, AVOCADO ON MY VEAL PARM?
CALIFORNIA SANDWICHES MAKES THIS SANDWICH,
AND IT'S LIKE AN ITALIAN BOWLING BALL.
YOU CAN GET CHICKEN OR YOU CAN GET VEAL, AND IT'S INSANE.
YOU'LL SAY YOU'LL ONLY EAT HALF, BUT YOU'LL END UP
EATING THE WHOLE THING AND CAN'T WORK FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.
OR BEST OPTION, I THINK-- DIM SUM.
FORESTVIEW RESTAURANT IN CHINATOWN
IS A VERY, VERY SOLID CHOICE.
TORONTO DOES DIM SUM REALLY, REALLY WELL.
IT'S A STRENGTH, HAS BEEN FOR A LONG TIME.
"ACTOR PETER USTINOV SAID,
'TORONTO IS LIKE NEW YORK AS RUN BY THE SWISS.'"
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO YOU, PETER USTINOV?
"COMIC BOOKS WHICH DEPICT ANY ILLEGAL ACTS ARE BANNED."
I HAVE A VERY HARD TIME BELIEVING THAT.
WHAT KIND OF COMIC BOOK DOESN'T DEPICT ANY ILLEGAL ACTS?
WHAT WOULD THE SUPERHERO IN TIGHTS BE FIGHTING AGAINST?
BAD MANNERS?
"STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE, JOKER, OR ELSE."
A LOT OF HOCKEY-RELATED TRIVIA HERE.
"www.couldn'tcareless.com"?
I'M OF THE OPINION THAT HOCKEY WOULD BENEFIT GREATLY
FROM REMOVING THE PUCK FROM THE GAME.
WAIT A MINUTE.
IN 1812 THE CANADIANS BURNED DOWN THE WHITE HOUSE?
I DIDN'T KNOW THIS.
AND WE'RE BUILDING A WALL WITH MEXICO?
WELL, I THINK I'VE LEARNED ENOUGH
ABOUT THESE TORONTONIANS.
I THINK WE'VE SETTLED THIS MATTER.
HOW TO DESCRIBE TORONTO
IN A MARKETING SLOGAN OR IN ONE WORD?
UM...
UH...
WE'VE BEEN TRYING
FOR MANY, MANY YEARS IN THIS CITY
TO COME UP WITH A CATCHY SLOGAN.
UM, UM...
UGH, (bleep)!
I FEEL SO BAD.
HMM, PASS.
BUT WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO IT.
WE'VE NEVER SUCCEEDED. (laughs)
TORONTO ALMOST A MEMORY--
ONE MORE STOP TO MEET UP WITH MY FRIEND,
THE CHEF WHO MADE IT ALL POSSIBLE,
SCOTT VIVIAN OF BEAST.
YOU'RE A MAN OF YOUR WORD.
YOU ARE THE GUY WHO CONVINCED ME FINALLY TO COME TO TORONTO.
BUT YOU WERE RIGHT. I'M GLAD I CAME.
I'M GLAD YOU CAME, TOO.
SCOTT'S CHOICE--
PORCHETTA & COMPANY IN LITTLE ITALY.
IT'S HIS FINAL ARGUMENT FOR THE CITY.
THEY DO ONE THING HERE AND ONE THING ONLY--
PORCHETTA SANDWICHES.
SO IT'S NOT A TRADITIONAL PORCHETTA
IN THE SENSE OF A WHOLE PIG.
PROPRIETOR NICK auf der MAUER.
IT'S A MARINATED PORK SHOULDER BUTT
THAT'S WRAPPED IN PROSCIUTTO,
AND, UH, WE WRAP THAT IN CURED PORK BELLY WITH THE SKIN ON
NICE.
YEAH. WE REST THEM IN HERE, TAKE THE CRACKLING OFF.
AND THEN WE ACTUALLY DOUBLE-BAKE THE CRACKLING,
RIGHT.
MMM, JUICY AND DELICIOUS,
THE CRACKLING?
IT MAKES THE SANDWICH.
NICE THEY SERVE IT ON PAPER, TOO, HUH?
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THERE'S A GREAT CLASS RIGHT NOW OF YOUNG CHEFS
WHO ARE MAKING SOME NOISE IN THE CITY.
WHAT ABOUT THE-- THE DINING PUBLIC?
I FEEL LIKE IT'S A YOUNG DINING PUBLIC,
SO I THINK THEY'RE NOW STARTING TO REALLY GET USED
TO THE WHOLE FACT OF, LIKE,
TORONTO REALLY HAS AN OPPORTUNITY
TO BE ON THE--THE UPPER END OF--OF DINING,
NOT ONLY IN CANADA, BUT I THINK IN NORTH AMERICA.
RIGHT.
YEAH.
WHOEVER'S IN CHARGE OF PROMOTING CANADA ABROAD
ARE COMPLETELY-- HAVE THEIR HEADS UP THEIR ***.
YEAH.
CELINE DION.
(laughs)
SO ALL THOSE BORING SCOTS-IRISH-ENGLISH
PRESBYTERIAN CITY FATHERS
REALLY KIND OF SCREWED YOU UP
IN THE SENSE THAT THINGS CHANGED QUITE SOME TIME AGO.
I MEAN, THAT'S NOT WHO'S DOING BUSINESS ANYMORE.
THAT'S NOT WHO LIVES HERE ANYMORE.
I THINK TORONTO NEEDS A BIT OF A PUSH FROM--
FROM THE PEOPLE THAT CAN TAKE THE FOOD SCENE
OR MAYBE YOU JUST NEED A GOOD SLOGAN.
MAYBE YOU ALREADY HAD IT. HOGTOWN.
HOGTOWN, EH?
(bleep) YOUR TOWN AND MY TOWN AND FUNKY TOWN
AND FLAVOR TOWN FOR THAT MATTER, ***.
I WANT TO GO TO HOGTOWN,
A MAGICAL PLACE FOR MAGICAL ANIMALS,
WHERE A PIG IS ALWAYS TURNING SLOWLY,
SLOWLY ON A SPIT SOMEWHERE CLOSE,
AND THE SCENT OF BACON LINGERS
LIKE WILDFLOWERS IN THE AIR,
WHERE CRACKLINGS FALL FREELY FROM THE SKIES
AT INTERMITTENT INTERVALS
AND THE WOMENFOLK RUB LARDO IN THEIR HAIR.
OKAY, MAYBE NIX THAT LAST THING.