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PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
CHAPTER VI.
Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; the manner of
educating their children. The author's way of living in that country.
His vindication of a great lady.
Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a particular treatise,
yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify the curious reader with some
general ideas.
As the common size of the natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is
an exact proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees: for instance,
the tallest horses and oxen are between
four and five inches in height, the sheep an inch and half, more or less: their geese
about the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards till you come
to the smallest, which to my sight, were
almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects
proper for their view: they see with great exactness, but at no great distance.
And, to show the sharpness of their sight towards objects that are near, I have been
much pleased with observing a cook pulling a lark, which was not so large as a common
fly; and a young girl threading an invisible needle with invisible silk.
Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean some of those in the great
royal park, the tops whereof I could but just reach with my fist clenched.
The other vegetables are in the same proportion; but this I leave to the
reader's imagination.
I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many ages, has
flourished in all its branches among them: but their manner of writing is very
peculiar, being neither from the left to
the right, like the Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians, nor
from up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from one corner of the paper to the
other, like ladies in England.
They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because they hold an
opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rise again; in which period the
earth (which they conceive to be flat) will
turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection, be found
ready standing on their feet.
The learned among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine; but the
practice still continues, in compliance to the vulgar.
There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if they were not
so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I should be tempted to say a
little in their justification.
It is only to be wished they were as well executed.
The first I shall mention, relates to informers.
All crimes against the state, are punished here with the utmost severity; but, if the
person accused makes his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is
immediately put to an ignominious death;
and out of his goods or lands the innocent person is quadruply recompensed for the
loss of his time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardship of his
imprisonment, and for all the charges he
has been at in making his defence; or, if that fund be deficient, it is largely
supplied by the crown.
The emperor also confers on him some public mark of his favour, and proclamation is
made of his innocence through the whole city.
They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail to
punish it with death; for they allege, that care and vigilance, with a very common
understanding, may preserve a man's goods
from thieves, but honesty has no defence against superior cunning; and, since it is
necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of buying and selling, and
dealing upon credit, where fraud is
permitted and connived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is always
undone, and the knave gets the advantage.
I remember, when I was once interceding with the emperor for a criminal who had
wronged his master of a great sum of money, which he had received by order and ran away
with; and happening to tell his majesty, by
way of extenuation, that it was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it
monstrous in me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and
truly I had little to say in return,
farther than the common answer, that different nations had different customs;
for, I confess, I was heartily ashamed.
Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon which all
government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be put in practice by any
nation except that of Lilliput.
Whoever can there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of
his country for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges, according to
his quality or condition of life, with a
proportionable sum of money out of a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise
acquires the title of snilpall, or legal, which is added to his name, but does not
descend to his posterity.
And these people thought it a prodigious defect of policy among us, when I told them
that our laws were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward.
It is upon this account that the image of Justice, in their courts of judicature, is
formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind, and on each side one, to signify
circumspection; with a bag of gold open in
her right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to show she is more disposed to
reward than to punish.
In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to good morals than
to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to mankind, they believe, that
the common size of human understanding is
fitted to some station or other; and that Providence never intended to make the
management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended only by a few persons of
sublime genius, of which there seldom are
three born in an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the like,
to be in every man's power; the practice of which virtues, assisted by experience and a
good intention, would qualify any man for
the service of his country, except where a course of study is required.
But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being supplied by superior
endowments of the mind, that employments could never be put into such dangerous
hands as those of persons so qualified;
and, at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in a virtuous disposition,
would never be of such fatal consequence to the public weal, as the practices of a man,
whose inclinations led him to be corrupt,
and who had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and defend his corruptions.
In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man incapable of
holding any public station; for, since kings avow themselves to be the deputies of
Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing
can be more absurd than for a prince to employ such men as disown the authority
under which he acts.
In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood to mean the
original institutions, and not the most scandalous corruptions, into which these
people are fallen by the degenerate nature of man.
For, as to that infamous practice of acquiring great employments by dancing on
the ropes, or badges of favour and distinction by leaping over sticks and
creeping under them, the reader is to
observe, that they were first introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now
reigning, and grew to the present height by the gradual increase of party and faction.
Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some other
countries: for they reason thus; that whoever makes ill returns to his
benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to
the rest of mankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such
a man is not fit to live.
Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ extremely from
ours.
For, since the conjunction of male and female is founded upon the great law of
nature, in order to propagate and continue the species, the Lilliputians will needs
have it, that men and women are joined
together, like other animals, by the motives of concupiscence; and that their
tenderness towards their young proceeds from the like natural principle: for which
reason they will never allow that a child
is under any obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his mother for
bringing him into the world; which, considering the miseries of human life, was
neither a benefit in itself, nor intended
so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters, were otherwise employed.
Upon these, and the like reasonings, their opinion is, that parents are the last of
all others to be trusted with the education of their own children; and therefore they
have in every town public nurseries, where
all parents, except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to send their
infants of both sexes to be reared and educated, when they come to the age of
twenty moons, at which time they are
supposed to have some rudiments of docility.
These schools are of several kinds, suited to different qualities, and both sexes.
They have certain professors well skilled in preparing children for such a condition
of life as befits the rank of their parents, and their own capacities, as well
as inclinations.
I shall first say something of the male nurseries, and then of the female.
The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided with grave and learned
professors, and their several deputies.
The clothes and food of the children are plain and simple.
They are bred up in the principles of honour, justice, courage, modesty,
clemency, religion, and love of their country; they are always employed in some
business, except in the times of eating and
sleeping, which are very short, and two hours for diversions consisting of bodily
exercises.
They are dressed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged to dress
themselves, although their quality be ever so great; and the women attendant, who are
aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial offices.
They are never suffered to converse with servants, but go together in smaller or
greater numbers to take their diversions, and always in the presence of a professor,
or one of his deputies; whereby they avoid
those early bad impressions of folly and vice, to which our children are subject.
Their parents are suffered to see them only twice a year; the visit is to last but an
hour; they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting and parting; but a professor, who
always stands by on those occasions, will
not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling expressions, or bring any presents
of toys, sweetmeats, and the like.
The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of a child,
upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's officers.
The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders, and
handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only those designed
for trades are put out apprentices at
eleven years old, whereas those of persons of quality continue in their exercises till
fifteen, which answers to twenty-one with us: but the confinement is gradually
lessened for the last three years.
In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated much like the males,
only they are dressed by orderly servants of their own sex; but always in the
presence of a professor or deputy, till
they come to dress themselves, which is at five years old.
And if it be found that these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with
frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practised by chambermaids among us,
they are publicly whipped thrice about the
city, imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the most desolate part of the
Thus the young ladies are as much ashamed of being cowards and fools as the men, and
despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency and cleanliness: neither did I
perceive any difference in their education
made by their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the females were not
altogether so robust; and that some rules were given them relating to domestic life,
and a smaller compass of learning was
enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among peoples of quality, a wife should be
always a reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always be
young.
When the girls are twelve years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their
parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions of gratitude to the
professors, and seldom without tears of the young lady and her companions.
In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are instructed in all
kinds of works proper for their sex, and their several degrees: those intended for
apprentices are dismissed at seven years old, the rest are kept to eleven.
The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are obliged, besides their
annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return to the steward of the
nursery a small monthly share of their
gettings, to be a portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in
their expenses by the law.
For the Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust, than for people, in
subservience to their own appetites, to bring children into the world, and leave
the burthen of supporting them on the public.
As to persons of quality, they give security to appropriate a certain sum for
each child, suitable to their condition; and these funds are always managed with
good husbandry and the most exact justice.
The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their business being only
to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their education is of little
consequence to the public: but the old and
diseased among them, are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade unknown
in this empire.
And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some account of my
domestics, and my manner of living in this country, during a residence of nine months,
and thirteen days.
Having a head mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had
made for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of the largest trees
in the royal park.
Two hundred sempstresses were employed to make me shirts, and linen for my bed and
table, all of the strongest and coarsest kind they could get; which, however, they
were forced to quilt together in several
folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than lawn.
Their linen is usually three inches wide, and three feet make a piece.
The sempstresses took my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my neck, and
another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord extended, that each held by the end, while
a third measured the length of the cord with a rule of an inch long.
Then they measured my right thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical
computation, that twice round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the neck
and the waist, and by the help of my old
shirt, which I displayed on the ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me
exactly.
Three hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to make me clothes; but they
had another contrivance for taking my measure.
I kneeled down, and they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck; upon this
ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-line from my collar to the floor,
which just answered the length of my coat: but my waist and arms I measured myself.
When my clothes were finished, which was done in my house (for the largest of theirs
would not have been able to hold them), they looked like the patch-work made by the
ladies in England, only that mine were all of a colour.
I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient huts built
about my house, where they and their families lived, and prepared me two dishes
a-piece.
I took up twenty waiters in my hand, and placed them on the table: a hundred more
attended below on the ground, some with dishes of meat, and some with barrels of
wine and other liquors slung on their
shoulders; all which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious
manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well in Europe.
A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reasonable
draught. Their mutton yields to ours, but their beef
is excellent.
I have had a sirloin so large, that I have been forced to make three bites of it; but
this is rare.
My servants were astonished to see me eat it, bones and all, as in our country we do
the leg of a lark.
Their geese and turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceed
ours. Of their smaller fowl I could take up
twenty or thirty at the end of my knife.
One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living, desired "that
himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of the blood of both sexes,
might have the happiness," as he was
pleased to call it, "of dining with me." They came accordingly, and I placed them in
chairs of state, upon my table, just over against me, with their guards about them.
Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended there likewise with his white staff; and I
observed he often looked on me with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to
regard, but ate more than usual, in honour
to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with admiration.
I have some private reasons to believe, that this visit from his majesty gave
Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to his master.
That minister had always been my secret enemy, though he outwardly caressed me more
than was usual to the moroseness of his nature.
He represented to the emperor "the low condition of his treasury; that he was
forced to take up money at a great discount; that exchequer bills would not
circulate under nine per cent. below par;
that I had cost his majesty above a million and a half of sprugs" (their greatest gold
coin, about the bigness of a spangle) "and, upon the whole, that it would be advisable
in the emperor to take the first fair
occasion of dismissing me." I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an
excellent lady, who was an innocent sufferer upon my account.
The treasurer took a fancy to be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil
tongues, who informed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my
person; and the court scandal ran for some
time, that she once came privately to my lodging.
This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous falsehood, without any grounds,
further than that her grace was pleased to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom
and friendship.
I own she came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three
more in the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and some
particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other ladies of the court.
And I still appeal to my servants round, whether they at any time saw a coach at my
door, without knowing what persons were in it.
On those occasions, when a servant had given me notice, my custom was to go
immediately to the door, and, after paying my respects, to take up the coach and two
horses very carefully in my hands (for, if
there were six horses, the postillion always unharnessed four,) and place them on
a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of five inches high, to
prevent accidents.
And I have often had four coaches and horses at once on my table, full of
company, while I sat in my chair, leaning my face towards them; and when I was
engaged with one set, the coachmen would gently drive the others round my table.
I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations.
But I defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let them
make the best of it) Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever came to me
incognito, except the secretary Reldresal,
who was sent by express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before related.
I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not been a point
wherein the reputation of a great lady is so nearly concerned, to say nothing of my
own; though I then had the honour to be a
nardac, which the treasurer himself is not; for all the world knows, that he is only a
glumglum, a title inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in
England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post.
These false informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of by an
accident not proper to mention, made the treasurer show his lady for some time an
ill countenance, and me a worse; and
although he was at last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit
with him, and found my interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who
was, indeed, too much governed by that favourite.