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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
- BEEN PICKING APPLES ALL MONTH?
HERE ARE SOME "MAD" MOMENTS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED.
MONDAY, 8:00 AM--
RECENT FATHER KANYE WEST NAMES HIS FALL TOUR
THE "ANYTHING TO AVOID CHANGING DIAPERS" TOUR.
FRIDAY, 3:00 PM--
NASA JOINS SOCIAL MEDIA
AND POSTS AMAZING PHOTOS OF THEIR PIZZA PARTY.
MONDAY, 7:00 PM--
SIMON COWELL CELEBRATES HIS BIRTHDAY
BY JUDGING THIS--
[LAUGHTER]
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
- MAD!
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
- MAD!
- WE ALWAYS THOUGHT ALIEN LIFE WOULD COME FROM THE STARS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY. IT DIDN'T IN "BATTLESHIP,"
"BATTLE L.A.," "CLOVERFIELD," OR "GODZILLA."
[BEACH MUSIC PLAYING]
JUST LIKE THOSE MOVIES,
THESE MONSTERS CAME FROM THE SEA, TOO.
IN ORDER TO FIGHT MONSTERS,
WE CREATED MONSTERS OF OUR OWN.
OR SHOULD I SAY WRESTLER ROBOTS WITH MONSTER EGOS?
[BELL DINGS] - THE ROBO CHAMP IS HERE.
- I'M TOO COOL FOR CATCHPHRASES.
- ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
WE'VE GOT TO DEFEAT THESE MONSTERS.
NOW EACH JAEGER IS OPERATED BY TWO PILOTS
IN PERFECT SYNC WITH A ROBOT.
CM PUNK, KOFI KINGSTON, YOU'RE THE FIRST ROBOT.
MAN AND MACHINE BECOME ONE IN THE ULTIMATE TAG TEAM.
- IF IT'S THE PERFECT TAG TEAM,
THEN HOW COME THE ROBOT ONLY LOOKS LIKE HIM?
- UH, HE TESTED BETTER WITH KIDS.
- OH, MAN, FORGET THIS. I'M OUT OF HERE.
- NO, WAIT. COME BACK.
[WHIRRING]
- HA! YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR FOOT FELL ASLEEP.
THIS IS NO TIME TO BE PICKY ABOUT PARTNERS.
WE NEED ALL THE WRESTLERS WE CAN--THE TRADEMARK?
AW! WE RECORDED ONE ALBUM TOGETHER.
YOU COULDN'T TEAM ME WITH A WRESTLER?
- THAT'S YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR RECORDING AN ALBUM.
- I THINK THIS IS COOL.
[WHIRRING]
- NO TIME FOR DANCING. LOOK!
[MONSTERS GROWL]
- LET'S DO THIS.
- [GROWLS]
- WELCOME BACK, FANS. I'M MICHAEL COLE
HERE WITH JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER.
TONIGHT, IT'S THE FATE OF HUMANITY.
KING, WHAT YOU MAKE OF THIS?
- DOES IT MATTER? - NOPE.
BUT HOLD ONTO THAT NON-THOUGHT,
'CAUSE IF I KNOW CM PUNK,
HE'S NOT ABOUT TO LET THE EARTH TAKE A BEATING.
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
- OH, COME ON, THE CLUTCH IS ALL THE WAY ON KOFI'S SIDE.
[AUDIENCE GROANS]
[AUDIENCE BOOS]
- OOH! CM PUNK WAS FAKING IT!
- THANK GOODNESS YOU CAN'T SEE ME.
WONDER HOW CENA'S DOING.
- OH, MY GOD! - DID YOU SEE THAT?
- THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
- I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M SEEING.
- WOW! WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT MOVE?
- THAT HAD TO HURT.
- WONDER WHAT CENA WILL DO.
- [GRUNTS]
- CM PUNK? BUT WE'RE ON THE SAME SIDE.
- IT'S WRESTLING. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
- WHAT IN THE WORLD JUST HAPPENED?
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
NO, SERIOUSLY, I WAS READING THIS BOOK.
CM PUNK HAS TURNED ON JOHN CENA?
HUMANITY AS WE KNOW IT IS OVER.
- IT'S ALL OVER, COLE. IT'S ALL OVER.
THERE ARE NO WINNERS ON EARTH TODAY.
EXCEPT FOR MICHAEL BAY WHO IS STEALING ALL OF THIS
FOR HIS NEXT TRANSFORMERS MOVIE.
- TAPE CENA TO OPTIMUS PRIME,
AND DONE.
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
- HI. CAN YOU SIGN HERE?
I JUST NEED AN ADULT SIGNATURE.
THANKS.
- WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT'D I SIGN FOR?
- WELL, THANKS TO YOU, MY PARENTS DON'T NEED TO KNOW
I FAILED CHEMISTRY CLASS.
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
- OH, REALLY?
- DAD?!
- BUSTED!
- DADS. ON TOP OF THINGS
SINCE 2004.
- MAD!
- UGH, THESE FLIGHTS ARE SO EXPENSIVE.
- AND I CAN'T FIND A ROOM AT ANY HOTEL ANYWHERE.
- NEED A HAND BOOKING THE BEST DEALS ON YOUR VACATION?
- [ROAR]
- OH, MY GOSH, IT'S A VELOCIRAPTOR.
- HELP US!
- AHH!
- THEN TRY TRAVELOCIRAPTOR.
STAND IN LINE AT THE AIRPORT?
I DON'T THINK SO.
- [ROAR]
- UH, LET ME GET YOUR TICKETS.
I SEE YOU'RE IN COACH.
- [ROAR]
- I MEAN FIRST CLASS. YOU'RE IN FIRST CLASS!
- I'M SORRY, WE'RE COMPLETELY SOLD OUT.
- [ROAR]
- FOR EVERYONE EXCEPT 75 MILLION YEAR OLD DINOSAURS.
- [ROAR]
- AND WITH TRAVELOCIRAPTOR,
YOU NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MAKING RESERVATIONS.
- I'M SORRY, WE ONLY TAKE RESERVATIONS.
- OH, I WISH YOU HADN'T SAID THAT.
- [ROAR]
[ALL SCREAMING]
- TRAVELOCIRAPTOR.
DON'T ARGUE, IT'S A VELOCIRAPTOR, YOU DOLTS.
- BILBO, THESE ARE THE DWARVES YOU'LL BE TRAVELING WITH.
THIS IS THORIN, GLOIN,
HAPPY, GRUMPY, SLEEPY.
WAIT A SECOND.
THESE AREN'T MY DWARVES.
THESE ARE DIFFERENT, SLIGHTLY SILLIER DWARVES.
- WELL, THEN WHERE'D YOUR DWARVES END UP?
- HMM?
- I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HER AN APPLE.
- YEAH, A POISON APPLE.
TELL IT TO THE BOOT.
- OW! OW! OW!
- [SNORING]
- HONEY. HONEY!
- [SNORING]
BAH! WHAT'S WRONG?
- YOU'RE SNORING.
GET THOSE BREATHING STRIPS.
- THESE THINGS NEVER WORK.
[CHOMPING]
AH, THEY TASTE LIKE TAPE.
UGH.
- YOU'RE EATING THEM BACKWARDS, YOU DUMMY.
- YOU LOVED LAURA INGALLS WILDER
IN "LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE."
- AHH! [LAUGHTER]
- BUT THIS SUMMER, THINGS GET EVEN WILDER.
- GET DOWN!
- WHAT?
- "LITTLE HOUSE DOWN."
- WHAT'S GOING ON? - WE'RE UNDER ATTACK.
- BY WHO?
- TECHNICALLY, THE QUESTION IS "BY WHOM"?
BUT THE ANSWER IS NELLIE.
- WHY DON'T YOU CRY TO YOUR PA ABOUT THIS?
- FROM DIRECTOR ROLAND EMMERICH,
THE MAN WHO DESTROYED THE WORLD IN "INDEPENDENCE DAY,"
"THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW," AND "2012 DAY."
- HOLY COW, THE ENTIRE PRAIRIE IS ON FIRE.
- [CACKLES]
- "LITTLE HOUSE DOWN."
WE USED A OUIJA BOARD TO ASK LAURA INGALLS WILDER
IF WE COULD DO THIS,
AND SHE SAID IT WAS OK.
AND THEN SHE SAID JUST A BUNCH OF RANDOM NUMBERS
AND LETTERS AND THINGS.
- MAD!
- SCALPEL.
BANDAGE.
SUSPENDERS.
THE "MONA LISA."
MILK.
SKIM.
THE AUTOGRAPH OF EVERY CAST MEMBER FROM THE SHOW "GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE,"
BUT ON AN 8x10 GLOSSY OF THE CAST OF "MODERN FAMILY."
- CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU JUST PROVED YOU'RE THE NURSE OF THE YEAR.
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN'T DO?
[FLATLINE]
- UH, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
- [YAWNS]
[SNORING]
- HA HA HA!
- HEE HEE HEE!
[PEOPLE SHOUTING]
- AAH!
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
- "MAD" TESTS THE EXPRESSION TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE
BY HURLING EMMA STONE AT TWO BIRDS.
- WHAT? WHY?
WHY?
- CONCLUSION: CORRECT.
- THESE 4 PEOPLE ARE HERE TO PLAY A GAME.
BUT WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW
IS THE GAME IS NO ORDINARY GAME.
THE GAME IS ***.
MY NAME IS HORTON.
OH, AND SOMEONE MURDERED A WHO.
[ALL SCREAMING]
- AAH!
- THAT'S BETTER.
- AAH!
- DON, ADRIANA, DANTE, AND SASHA,
YOU ARE HERE TO SOLVE A ***.
- WHO DIED? - YES.
- WAIT, WE NEED TO FIND WHO?
- EXACTLY. - EXACTLY WHO?
- BINGO.
- OH, MY GOSH, I FOUND WHO DIED.
- WHAT? NO, HE'S NOT DEAD.
THAT'S STEVE. HE'S ON THE CREW OF THE SHOW.
STEVE! STEVE!
- HUH?
IS THIS THING OVER YET?
- NOT YET. - ALL RIGHT.
- CAN YOU JUST TELL US WHO DIED?
- YES, THAT WHO.
- I DON'T SEE ANYONE.
- AND YOU WON'T BECAUSE WHOS ARE IMPOSSIBLY,
MICROSCOPICALLY AND ADORABLY TINY BEINGS
WHO CAN'T BE SEEN WITHOUT A MAGNIFYING GLASS.
- WELL, GIVE US A MAGNIFYING GLASS.
- AS SOON AS YOU SOLVE THIS RIDDLE.
HILL WILL, WILL WENT UP HILL.
[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]
HAVE YOU SOLVED THE RIDDLE?
- YEP, WE HAVE.
SO YOU'RE NUTS,
AND WE'RE GONNA GO SEE IF IT'S TOO LATE
TO GET ON "THE VOICE."
SO, SO LONG, DUMBO.
- LOOK, SOMEONE'S ON THAT HILL.
- IS IT A FISH?
- A FISH? WHY WOULD IT BE A FISH?
- I DON'T KNOW, DON. I BARELY KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.
I THINK I NEED TO LAY DOWN WITH STEVE.
- LET'S GO.
- IS IT COOL IF-- - SURE.
- [SNORES]
- OH, MY GOSH, IT'S WILL SMITH.
- HEH. YES, IT IS.
AND YOU HAVE SOLVED THE RIDDLE.
YOU MAY NOW HAVE THIS MAGNIFYING GLASS
SO THAT--
MAN, YOU DO ONE M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN MOVIE
AND YOU END UP EXILED ON A MOUNTAIN.
SHYAMALAN!
- EXCELLENT WORK.
WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO SASHA?
- [SNORING]
- RIGHT. SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
ANYWAY, YOU MAY NOW USE THE MAGNIFYING GLASS.
- YEP, THERE'S THE WHO.
- LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE STEPPED ON HIM.
- HUH. IT LOOKS LIKE THERE ARE LOTS OF SQUASHED WHOS.
- VERY GOOD. BUT WHO STEPPED ON ALL THOSE WHOS?
- WELL, YOU'VE GOT THE BIGGEST FEET.
- BUT COMPARED TO A WHO, EVERYONE'S FEET ARE BIG.
- YEAH, BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S ALSO STEPPING ON EVERYONE.
- OOPS. FORGET THEY WERE THERE.
WELL, I GUESS THIS SOLVES THE MYSTERY.
YOU THINK IT'S TOO LATE TO GET ON "THE VOICE"?
- MAD!
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
- MAD!
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
- MAD!
- OH! OH! OH!