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Welcome to the Daily Slog News Review
In our headlines, this week saw a further step on the road to celebritization of
Israeli politics
with the announced candidacies of Yair Lapid and Noam Shalit.
Commentators immediately noted that a veto block
Lapid-Deri-Barack-Kadima-Yisrael Beitenu-Haridim Parties
– Arab Parties and the right wing parties
would succeed in besting Netanyahu in the coming elections
Lapid's responses to the standard Knesset questionnaire provoked interest
"If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?", he responded
"Political Animal"
When asked: "What frightens you?", he said "All the changes on facebook."
His party's first initiative was to propose a new parliamentary eligibility
law that requires at least two weeks to pass after Lapid's announcement before an
announcement of someone else.
Nevertheless two days under the slogans: "נועם עדיין חי"
and "האבא של הילד של כולנו" (The father of everyone's child)
Noam Shalit announced his entrance into politics. He remarked to friends that he
understood that to be a Labor MK is the "best way to return to anonymity".
Friends said the move was planned well in advance but he was waiting for the video
tape to arrive that documented that the Labor party was still alive.
The move was now without criticism and even Gilad Shalit
set up a protest tent outside his home. At the celebratory announcing press
conference, an empty chair was set aside for Gilad.
Photographers were once again summoned up to Mitzpe Hila. Shalit
claimed he would have no trouble driving down to Jerusalem and sitting around for
hours on end while doing nothing.
Psychologista noted this was a rare variation of the Stockholm Syndrome
where fathers of kidnapped hostages identify with the politicians who freed
them.
In response to his participation, the Labor party has begun granting the right to vote
in primaries to freed Palestinian prisoners.
Under a new formula, Shalit is to receive one mandate for every one
1,027 primary voters.
Labor analysts were already comparing his vote-getting ability among former
prisoners to that of Aryeh Deri.
In desperation Kadima was considering drafting Elhanan
Tannenbaum for its party list.
Anastasia Michaeli of Yisrael Beitenu threw a cup of water on fellow
Knesset member Raleb Majadle.
But she did apologize for it being only one cup with: "I subsequently
remembered that to prepare majadle you need two cups of water.
Her party officially disavowed her actions with the statement: "We maintain
that Arabs should becovered with earth, not drenched in water." The party elders have
now begun considering emptying the entire sea onto the Arabs.
She was reprimanded with confinement to her home for one month
without the assistance of a nanny.
Finally, in Israel's never-ending battle with racism, Kiryat Malachi landlords who were
accused of discriminating against Ethiopians, claimed they were misunderstood. When
they said they were against "blacks", they meant "DOSim".
Thanks for watching!