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Hey Internets.
Amazing news.
You know what I got now?
A sidekick!
Yeah!
This is great. See, my Ma qualified for some program where she gets a helper
monkey, right? Yeah!
Wow! This guy could be a sidekick.
She's callin' him Mr. Tibbles, right? But I think a good name for him would be
somethin' more like Monkey Wrench. Or Monkey Shines.
You know, I really gotta find a way to get him away from Ma, 'cause she keeps
monopolizing his time!
I mean she's always making him you know, get the remote for her. Or wipe her
mouth. Or...
or do that little hula dance that he does.
>> PLUMBER'S MA UPSTAIRS Good monkey! Who's mamma's little boy?
[monkey screeches] Now bring it here.
[monkey screeches] That's right. Pack it good! Now light it!
[monkey screeches] Light it. Good boy!
That's right.
He can light smokes.
But he can do so much more.
He also came with this Jack-in-the-box. She's always makin' him wind it up, right?
And he does that, and then it pops, right? And then he screams!
She also calls him Mr. Tibbles. Did I mention that?
He's got powers I'm pretty sure.
'Cause I think he's puh-sychic.
'Cause um, sometimes, he'll like stop his screaming and throwing the poo, and he'll
just stare off into space.
Like he's seeing something no one else can see.
Yeah.
So you know what? You know what? I'm gonna make him my sidekick.
And we're gonna go on our first patrol tonight.
We are gonna patrol the yard.
[laughs]
Yeah, I got a sidekick.
[little bell jingle]
Hi, I'm Adam Swimmer. I'm one of the writers for Tights and Fights: Ashes.
You know, I fought really hard against having a monkey sidekick. Because it's
really just a lame form of comic relief.
Much like Barry the missile was for Evil Trojan Borscht.
And we all know how that turned out.
I spent weeks vacuuming the ceilings to get the colour to come back.
But no, the producer overruled me. He said the monkey stays.
So, the monkey's here.
But, I have another idea.
Why not let you, the viewer, decide the fate of the monkey?
You can vote, now, on whether the monkey lives or dies.
So please.
Vote now, on the monkey's fate.
You sick, inebriated ***.