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>> SURAJ: Hello, welcome to Tapping Wellness TV at TappingWellness.com. I'm Suraj. I've
got two very special friends here, Mary and Tam. Mary and Tam are both highly qualified
therapists in the field of energy healing. And, today we are going to talk about their
experience of EFT mainly. So, let's start with you Mary. And, could you tell me how
you got into EFT, firstly, yes?
>> MARY: It was really quite by accident. Got a colleague who had a problem with one
of her clients with golf and she heard about EFT and she started using it. We were both
going to a conference together in London. Lot of respect for her. And, I asked her about
it and she showed me how to do it, in one of the gaps between this other conference
in the pub. And, I thought it was a little bit weird and I said, oh, I'm not keen on
this, I've spent years trying to become credible and this seems a bit weird. But she said,
Mary just try it on yourself.
>> SURAJ: Seemed too simple perhaps?
>> MARY: Yeah, probably. But new age kind of, you know it's not. And, so I thought I
will just do it on myself but I'm not going to do it with my clients. But what actually
happened was that when I was working with clients I realised that how well it had worked
for me that I owed it to my clients to teach them. So they became independent of me far
more quickly. That was very important to me. I love it when people ring up and say they
don't need me and EFT enables that to happen much more frequently.
>> SURAJ: And you are of course experienced in various other therapies as well. And, where
would you put EFT in that sort of box of therapies?
>> MARY: I think if somebody said I'm going to take away all your therapeutic tools and
I'm going to leave one, it would actually now be EFT. Even though I still love hypnosis.
I make a lot of CDs, personal CDs for my clients that after they have done EFT I'll make a
personal CD that, if you like, it consolidates the work of what we have done with EFT. And,
they can use that to teach themselves hypnosis. So, I do love hypnosis, it's my first love
anyway. But, EFT is, the versatility of it and the empowerment of it is what makes it
so simple...children can do it.
>> SURAJ: Yes, you were sort of telling me about your experience with children. Would
you like to share that story?
>> MARY: Yes, it was a grandson. He probably would have done it with his mum and he's maybe
two or three. And I had got my other little grandson on my knee and he was coughing and
the older grandson came up and said, "Bugs, bugs go away. Bugs, bugs go away". And I was
thinking then that you know that you are never too young to teach EFT, to learn EFT. So..great
for children.
>> SURAJ: Fascinating story and Tam, what about you? How did you get into EFT?
>> TAM: Much the same way really. I was trained as originally...a homeopath, and I worked
with homeopathy and Mary worked with Hypnotherapy. So when we went to the meetings we went apart.
We often both went to London together and Mary went off to a hypnotherapy meeting and
a few months later I would go to a homeopathy meeting and she would go into London and spend
all my money in the shops. [laughter] And the same time that Mary was talking about
her friend told her how to do EFT. And during that conference we were at a pub together
with a friend and a few other people. So we all sat around the table and we all learnt
EFT. We didn't actually get thrown out; I was surprised we didn't. So, we thought this
would be a good idea, we could both do EFT and we could travel together. We could go
to the same conferences together and we could be together a lot more and she wouldn't be
able to spend my money then, because she would be at the conference rather than in the shops.
[laughter] So, we went to the first EFT training session in the United Kingdom. Oh, this was
15 years ago now, thirteen fifteen years ago now. And I was a little bit sceptical. I'm
a scientist, a physicist and an engineer and I thought this is all very very strange, but
I'll go along with it anyway.
And, then to my horror I found that they were going to work on me! Infact everybody had
to work on their own problems and, I didn't have any problems. Except the fact that I
told lies about
>> SURAJ: or so you thought
[laughter]
>> TAM: the fact that I didn't have problems. But one problem I did have was a fear of water.
As far as I could remember right from my earliest days I was terrified of water. I didn't like
water on my face, if I went in a shower I held my breath the whole time I was showering.
When I went to the swimming...my daughter's, if the water was upto my knees that was allright,
any more I wasn't going to get involved.
I couldn't swim because I wouldn't go in water or at least that's what I thought. And of
course the sea, I would never go in the sea because the waves came up and splashed me,
and I wouldn't have anything to do with that. But, I was nearly forty then and it didn't
really matter. I didn't have to go in the sea and I didn't have to go to the swimming
baths. My daughters were grown up and I didn't really have to take them...that was all right.
So I decided I would volunteer I was afraid of water, because I had heard that EFT was
good for phobias. So, I was worked upon, not by a professional but by one of the girls
who had only learnt the day before. And then I found out that I could in fact shower without
holding my breath and I could lay in the bath with my head under the water. And it just
didn't matter. And one of the things we did which was very strange; the girl took me into
the gents toilets and filled the wash hand basin with water and stuck my head in while
one of the men who came in with us held me down under the water. And, I thought this
was fine. I had a beard and bubbles were coming out my of beard...this is funny... [laughter]
And, since then, I have never been afraid of water. We've been white water-rafting,
I loved it...completely! So, I was converted I think....And, I did remember I could, infact,
swim. I was born on a farm and the farm had a stream on one side which was very fast flowing,
very dangerous and the canal on the other side which was equally dangerous even though
it was still water and I was swimming there all the time. This was when I was less than
four, I swam like a little fish. And then, some sheep got drowned and I was told that
if I went in the water that's how I would end up. And if you have ever seen a wet sheep,
not a pretty sight! And after that I was terrified of going near water. But now, I love water.
When I was in Malaysia, I actually went in the water for the first time into the sea
and I was amused because the waves were bumping me up and down. This, for a 40 year old was quite
unusual. And then I was stuck on it, and I thought if you could do that there must be
something in it somewhere.
>> SURAJ: and it's often something as..something that could be as simple as somebody saying
you'll end up like the sheep..
>> TAM: Yes, yes I was only 4. Because I left the farm by the time I was 4, so I was younger
than 4 and they told me not to go down to the river. I think they had always told me
not to swim in the river but I always did. But one day they said don't go down to the
river today and I saw all the farm hands in their wet gear going down to the river. And
so, 4 year old, the first thing I did - down to the river to see what's going on; and,
I was hiding in the trees and one of the farm hands said you'll look like this.
The sheep had fallen into the river higher up in the ground and they were pulling them
out of the river. It was frightening!
>> SURAJ: You can understand why that would create a phobic situation I suppose...
>> TAM: A wet sheep is a very strange looking animal
>> MARY: A big trauma...
>> SURAJ: absolutely. And in your line of work Mary, what sort of benefits have you
seen in your clients and people you have worked with?
>> MARY: It's such a wide scope. You can really use EFT on..everything. The only time I would
be particularly cautious would be if somebody's got severe pain; I would want to have made
sure that they have had their checks done. Wouldn't want to mask something that had something
more serious, so..Nearly always people had been to their doctors and had MRI scans and
things like that. So they know that there is nothing organically wrong and EFT is useful
for so many things. Personally, myself, four years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer
and EFT was such a tremendous help; it's like a friend, you know when I was waiting for..waiting
for results, which would be very stressful time, you know I was able to do EFT - really
really helpful. Or if I was waiting in the doctors' or, even when I got better that was
the time when people with cancer often feel much more anxious because they are not going
through the process of treatment and they start worrying what if it comes back. So,
so many times that EFT is extremely helpful. I've worked a lot with people with cancer
before than but, now, you know I've got a lot more knowledge and experience and I know
how really helpful it is. It's like your best friend, you take it around with you. You can
do it anytime, you can do it with your fingers - nobody need to know. You don't have to make
it obvious, you can do it on your gamut and your karate chop point. All of these things
could be done very surreptitiously - so it's...it's wonderful.
So, when I first found a lump in my breast, I was lying in bed and I don't know why I
noticed - it was sort of intuition and I would just touch, take a breath because I was anxious
even then thinking what's that. And, I just did that...without saying anything, just touched..take
a breath...go around the points, silently doing it in bed and, you know, it's really
so helpful..every step of the way.
>> TAM: That's a very important point about pain, particularly. EFT can get rid of pain,
completely, very quickly indeed. And I've always got this fear that somebody will come
to me with a headache and I'll get rid of...tap, tap, tap...I'll get rid of the headache, then they'll die of
a brain tumour. So the first thing I always ask somebody when they come to see me for
EFT is - what did your GP say? And often they say I haven't been to see my GP. Well now
you know you can start suggesting that perhaps it's a good idea. But, if they have been to
see their GP and the GP gave them painkillers, well this is a painkiller.
>> MARY: So, we've worked a lot with hospices in the past and they noticed that actually
they the clients and the therapy centre needed far less morphine and they were much more
present with their families.
>> SURAJ: ...because pain is such a common problem and EFT can work with complex conditions
such as cancer where you go through phases of...different cancer presentations and a
roller-coaster of...
>> TAM: It is not so much that it will cure the cancer, but it will make the person happier
and safer and that itself will...will cure the cancer.
>> SURAJ: ..helps them cope better
>> TAM: helps them cope. Often they will get over the cancer because they themselves are
more relaxed.
>> MARY: And, often the diagnosis of any..sort of..serious illness can be so devastating
to somebody, and it takes away the hope. And although we accept the diagnosis, we could
defy the verdict by doing the tapping because we know that within us we have this tremendous
healing ability - this inner wisdom to heal, we've got..cascade of pharmacy within our
body that can be activated by the right thoughts and processes. So, we are doing the very best
to help ourselves.
>> SURAJ: Is it quite important to deal with your own issues when you enter into the world
of EFT?
>> TAM: Yes, as with any therapy, heal yourself first.
>> SURAJ: absolutely..
>> MARY: It's been noticed that therapists are having less burnout...psychologists and
people like this who are working may be with really heavy issues and they are not getting
as tired. Because while they are teaching their clients to tap, it's actually helping
them. It doesn't mean they are working on their issues but they are clearing themselves.
I like it to be called 'complimentary...I was very helped by the treatment I received
for cancer and the combination of an integrated therapy worked so well.
>> SURAJ: And that's the sort of new world we are entering into, isn't it...and I think
the energy therapies and meridian therapies are entering the mainstream, otherwise...Rani
and I wouldn't be talking about it.
>> TAM: we teach many conventional medics at all levels - from doctors, psychologists,
psychiatrists right down to nurses and general first-aiders.
>> MARY: even consultants...
>> SURAJ: ..it kind of sits nicely with our belief that often you can get in the way of...nature..healing
you from within..and so, I suppose that's how emotions can either help or hinder the
process of healing...
...how important are..on the topic of using the right words, so if somebody's doing trying
to do it at home by themselves...so, people can often get into an anxious situation thinking
- I'm not saying the right thing...lot of people worry about it
>> TAM: People often ring me up..and this..you know, people I've worked with and had success.
And they say, "I've got this terrible sore knee. What shall I say?" And well you know
the answer, you can see why - this "terrible sore knee"..that's all you need to do. So
I say well, think about you are talking to your friend over the telephone and say what's
wrong with you - I've got this sore knee, I've got this terrible sore knee, I've got
this aching knee; whatever you would say to your friend, that's what you say during EFT.
>> SURAJ: Don't use the doctor's language [laughter]
>> TAM: Unless you understand it
>> SURAJ: Unless you understand it
>> TAM: If I was talking to you about something wrong you had, I might well use the doctor's
language even if I couldn't understand it, as long as you could! That's what matters.
>> MARY: and it's important to have an emotional connection with words..so, you actually resonate
with the idea of the strain and that's very very important....Tam had an experience he
might talk to you about a bit.
>> TAM: Have I? [laughter]
>> MARY: It was with Gout...we went to..we taught 70 hypnotherapists in Dublin, very
early, it was one of the first courses we did and Tam usually gets a group of people
at the front..and we run through them...and they are all physical complaints...perhaps
difficulty bending or stiff neck or shoulder or something like that...and somebody there
had gout...we tapped through all of them and all of them experienced quite good results
but the guy with gout didn't...he just said I think it's nine and a half now, he's being
kind to us, instead of ten. But Tam said that when he was going along, he thought...can't
sort of sort that out!
>> TAM: As soon as I said - well, what's your problem? ..and he said, I've got gout..I said
I can't fix that
>> MARY: ..he didn't say it out loud
>> TAM: ..that's what my mind said. Well, I can't fix gout..I know what gout is - it's
a problem in your foot where crystals forming...and, I can't (change that process)...tap, tap,
tap..
But the chap himself didn't say that, because he had seen me solve all these other people's
problems and they were nothing to do with gout - one chap was frightened of spiders,
and somebody else had a stiff neck and there were all sorts of things...so, he knew I could
anything or at least EFT could do anything.
So to take over the story - it was a 2 day course; so I got out of it quite easily...saying
We'll show you what to do while it's difficult, on the second day; which we would have done.
And so we all went home and of course the second day he didn't turn up. So I [sense
of relief]...got away with that one, didn't I. And, suddenly the door burst open and this
chap came running down the front aisle...luckily it's all on video, climbed up on the stage
and it was in Ireland...and he did an Irish gig..
[laughter]
So Why could he do it...what he had done..he'd gone home, he practised all night. And he
didn't know you couldn't fix gout, whereas I did know you couldn't fix gout. So, when
he as working on it, he fixed it!
>> MARY: The emotion is very important, negative positive..whatever.
>> TAM: We often try to wind our clients up for that reason, which isn't a very nice thing...
>> MARY: If you say, la di da di da and you are not even focussing on your problem, it's
not going to help. That's the reason you talk about it, you don't really need to talk about
it. If the problem is right there, just tapping, thinking about it will be enough.
>> SURAJ: It is the emotional memory associated...
>> TAM: That's why it is easy to do with pain, because if you've got a headache...
>> SURAJ: ..there's always an emotion isn't there...of feeling rough, yes..
>> TAM: I haven't got to bring that up. But, if you were assaulted when you were a little
boy, and you spend your whole life holding that down, you are not going to bring it up...because
that's how we survive. So you've got to work quite a lot...and obviously, there's a whole...between
the two. You got to talk about it..
>> SURAJ: I suppose in conditions such as post-traumatic stress and so on..
>> TAM: it's ideal for that..
>> SURAJ: ...people have developed ways of avoiding the situation, isn't it..unconsciously
>> MARY:Lot of work needs to be done in that case, actually on the idea of even doing work
on it. You've got to be really really gentle and make sure that it's not at an intense
level. It's about trust as well, trust for the therapist. You know, they've learnt not
to trust anybody.
>> TAM: There's an awful lot of work in America being done with post-Vietnamese war post-traumatic
stress and...it's working very well.
>> SURAJ: OK, that's that was a fascinating conversation. We'd love to have you again
on our show. And, I know we are doing a piece of work together later in the year...
>> TAM: We look forward to our visit to India..
[End Music]