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There are some fun...
...almost fun russian words
but it’s 0+ for you
until you don’t understand it.
- Hey...
I didn't...
get...
I can’t use scope.
- mmm...
nope....
I would like 7.62
- Wait,
are you sleeping?
- The weather’s will..
- HUH!
What the hell?
- Godest teapot!
We under attack!
Holy gasmasks!
Holy gasmasks! - Oh...
Holy gasmasks! Nope...
This is just my phone.
- Bad joke, man...
Hey, There is...
- What?
- I can’t use my optic
and it is shaking
like I’m staying
on the boat
around Mariana Trench.
Oh... Playing ARMA...
Your cyber sportsman skills
from CS
will send you to
grandpas faster,
than isotope of uranium
in vacuum will decay.
Anyway...
Let’s make it clear.
The most surprising
and strange thing
shaking
minds of every player
is shooting button
bounded to the LMB.
AS ALWAYS!
This is, surely, the only one
intuitively understandable button
at the whole game.
But even common scoping
has some features,
makes you scream to
control system a loadshet of
maximum contrast words.
To look at your scope
you need a short RMB hit
after that you can hold it and....
HOLY
CAKE
OF SNICKERS
You are scoping at this scope, SCOPESEPTION!
what gives you MAXIMUM scope,
Crysis can only dream about it
And looks like everying is OK,
drink tea and sleep well,
but everying is changing,
when you are attaching to your
plasma gun
with additional nonsens
freely giving you
a brand new amount of hemorrhoid.
A new stylish light sensitivity
Canon lenses
Allows you to see much futher
saving truly great resolution at 60 fps,
but inside your hands
you don’t have a stabilisator
like in CoD-like games.
and after 3 miles of running
your lungs will be asking
for lots of oxygen so hard,
like duckface girls
are asking for new iPhone.
That is why use bipod
by pressing...
There is nothing...
About bipod...
- Can’t be...
Why is that?
- Bipod..
What the...
Here it is!
- So what...
What to do then?
- Nevermind,
Show the ad.
Are you often getting heatstroke?
While you are cleaning your gun?
Neighbors are mocking your bald head?
New wonderful hats from brand
"Hipster Moses"
will make your head
and will show you a new way
to create trenches.
Eight colors available.
- I bought one recently
- And what? Fashion guy?
- Yeap
walking the streets
everyone is looking at me.
- This is because you are
wearing that gasmask
Eh...
Ok...
What we have...
Bipod is a godlike,
but the best position to shoot is
fell down,
can't push up.
But even now, the scope
will be playing with you
"Dragshot Master"
That is why, while scoping
hold our best friend - right mouse button
to hold a breath.
And as expected
bullet will not fly straight
like a railgun
from Quake
That is why you need
to use rangefinder
*B* button
or to buy Nikon lenses
Where you can see a distance to the target
After that, using
*Page Up* and *Page Down*
Set up your optic to that distance.
Now you can easily make a genocide to every
HACKING rabbit
Because of which,
really big number of soldiers
*** their pants
*******
Show to these motherjumpers
who has hunting licence
- ArmA is nonsense
even bipod isn't working
- Hey... the hell did you just say?
- Everything is work nice even in Bottlefield
- So you want something, what
these casual pewing games
can't even think about.
- Hey, hey, wait...
The hell are you
doin....
Hey
I'm alive.
Everything is fine
You... just hit my head
- Yes! My young gentleman
Helmet in ArmA
is not just an useless fashion pot
There are not useless stuff!
But snakes,
fish,
sunglasses,
lots of caps,
colorful shirts,
"Hipster Moses" brand,
Blah,
blah,
blaaah...
And all bullet penetrations
are calculating by the engine,
considering
the angle,
velocity,
bullet size,
material,
thickness of the wall,
density of what-ever-you-are-shooting-at
and the bullet cost.
So tank's round
easily will make a BUTTHURT
to all neighbors and cars
at exactly way you mean it.
This system will make you think
twice or even thrice
before bending your index finger
hybrid SONY lenses
may make your life much easier.
And switching between is really funny
by pressing *CTRL+RMB*
and *NUM SLASH*
Exotic stuff, isn't it?
These combinations are also working
with optics,
which have few points of view
Also, while using all these zooming tubes
sometimes you can use
*NUM Plus* and *NUM Minus* keys
What makes pretty logical things.
Do not forget about night operations:
*Get Some Beer*
There is you will need some
thermal abilities of your optics
activating by *N* button
This button also will help you to
use your Night Google Glasses
Don't forget, that using thermal lenses,
will help you to predict: how much time ago
someone has switched off the engine.
Now, your wife can't fool you with:
"I just came back."
- Where is my food?
- But...
But I just...
- Don't play with me
You came back over than 57 minutes ago.
You were browsing these stupid groups on facebook, isn't you?
I will ban your IP,
will make a trollface from your leg,
and will post it on your wall with sign:
"That is what your facebook makes with people"
Run to the kitchen, ***!
Really fun stuff
you can attach to side of the gun
Flashlight and IR Laser
activating by pressing
*LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL*
- Hey
Hey, what the?
What happens?
- Just
leg is itchy
And help you to increase
the level of lead inside your liver
Who don't even carry:
you can see Invisible Laser only
by using Night Vision Google Glasses
And, yeap,
Your laser show will be available
for everyone who has such device
Don't forget about suppressors
If you will find one with similar caliber
you can always shave all your hair,
buy a red necktie
and start to kill some clowns
from Call of Crapefield
Maybe you even get an achievement
HA!
THERE IS NO ACHIEVEMENTS!
THIS IS ARMA!
Do not forget
that attached suppressor
makes your bullets as lazy as me
That is why you must remember
the MOTTO of existing
THE BIGGER BOOM!
THE WORSE FOR YA!
Sometimes, to prevent yourself
from increasing amount of piercing holes,
you will need to hold a hammer
or just to use grenade launcher.
All that god's gifts are avaliable
by pressing *F*
And that indicator is showing to you
what the hell is happening on our planet
But if you have informality of head liver,
then you deserve some
HOLES!
So it will be much easier
to add some tunnels
and attach some rings.
But if you don't like
Enclosed Spaces,
then after lots of fear and loadshet of released bullets
to peacefull rabbit,
you will need to change your pants
and reload by pressing *R*
And some info to remember:
You are realoading the whole magazines,
not bullets
The irony of fate made grenades
throwing by *G* button.
But if you want to make
a Smoke
or even a Light Show
or just to throw stone to someone face,
you can change type of nades by pressing
*CTRL+G*
Hey, Do you hear that?
The hell is THAT?!
- Eh...
This is...
This is... like... our neighbor
watching TV
- Go to him and say to make it quieter
- Eh... Ok...
- Eh.. So much problems...