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>> MY NAME IS SETH MEYERS.
I'M A COMEDIAN AND WRITER,
AND WHEN I WAS JUST GETTING
STARTED IN THE COMEDY BUSINESS,
I LIVED IN AMSTERDAM.
A LOT OF MEMORIES.
I WISH, WHEN I WAS HERE, I COULD
HAVE PERFORMED IN THIS THEATER.
I LOVED IT SO MUCH THAT I TRY TO
COME BACK ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR.
I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT.
WHAT? WHAT IS THAT?
THAT'S NOT FOOD, BUT IT IS.
I'M SETH MEYERS,
I'M HERE WITH MY BROTHER JOSH,
AND AMSTERDAM IS OUR "GETAWAY."
>> ♪ AND THE WORLD IS YOURS ♪
>> I GET IT.
PEOPLE HEAR "AMSTERDAM,"
AND THE FIRST THING THEY THINK
IS DRUGS AND SEX.
BUT, HAVING LIVED HERE FOR
TWO YEARS, I CAN GUARANTEE YOU
IT IS ONE OF EUROPE'S
MOST BEAUTIFUL CITIES.
IN FACT, IT'S LIKE
A SECOND HOME FOR ME.
I COME BACK TWICE A YEAR,
AND THE ONLY TIME I EVER MET
A *** WAS IN LINE
AT THE SUPERMARKET.
>> THE MOST OF PEOPLE THINK
AMSTERDAM IS ONLY KNOWN
FOR THE DRUGS AND THE HOOKERS,
BUT ALSO WE'VE GOT GREAT ARTS.
>> THERE'S A LOT OF CULTURE.
IT'S A REALLY OLD CITY.
>> IT'S ALMOST LIKE
A FAIRYTALE CITY.
>> YOU HAVE LOTS OF PEOPLE
FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.
THERE'S A FRIENDLY ATMOSPHERE,
AND THERE'S SOMETHING HAPPENING
ON EVERY CORNER.
>> IT'S, UH, [BLEEP] BEAUTIFUL.
[LAUGHS]
OH, NO, I CAN'T SAY THAT
ON AMERICAN TELEVISION.
>> I FIRST CAME TO AMSTERDAM
AFTER COLLEGE IN 1997,
AFTER I GOT A JOB WITH
AN AMERICAN IMPROV TROUPE
CALLED BOOM CHICAGO.
I MADE A LOT OF GREAT FRIENDS
ON AND OFF STAGE,
AND FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CITY.
SINCE THEN, I'VE MADE IT A POINT
OF COMING BACK FAIRLY
FREQUENTLY, EVEN MAKING
AN ANNUAL TRADITION
OF SPENDING THANKSGIVING HERE
WITH MY FAMILY.
I FLEW IN YESTERDAY TO
AMSTERDAM'S BEAUTIFUL AND CLEAN
SCHIPHOL AIRPORT, LOCATED JUST
10 MILES FROM THE CITY CENTER,
AND SET UP SHOP IN AN APARTMENT
I RENTED ONLINE.
WHEN I COME BACK TO AMSTERDAM,
I PREFER RENTING AN APARTMENT
TO A HOTEL, JUST BECAUSE
I USED TO LIVE HERE.
I FEEL LIKE, WHEN YOU COME BACK
TO A PLACE WHERE YOU LIVED,
IT'S MORE FUN TO HAVE
A PROPER APARTMENT, AS OPPOSED
TO STAYING IN A HOTEL.
SO I RENTED THIS ONE
THROUGH A WEBSITE
CALLED "STAY AMSTERDAM"
THAT I USE A LOT.
ON HIS WAY HERE RIGHT NOW
IS MY YOUNGER BROTHER JOSH,
WHO ALSO PERFORMED
AT BOOM CHICAGO AND LIVED
HERE FOR ABOUT 3 1/2 YEARS.
>> WE'RE ON A TRAIN, UH,
UNDERNEATH THE AIRPORT,
SCHIPHOL, GOING INTO TOWN.
UH, GOING TO GO SEE MY BIG BRO.
I KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF PLACES
TO GO SEE IN THE WORLD,
AND A LOT OF CITIES
I'D LOVE TO SEE, BUT SOMEHOW
I KEEP COMING BACK
TO AMSTERDAM AGAIN,
AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN.
>> THERE'S NO BETTER PERSON TO
SORT OF TRAVEL THROUGH AMSTERDAM
WITH THAN MY BROTHER.
HE'S FAR MORE ORGANIZED THAN ME.
HE SORT OF REMEMBERS HOW TO GET
FROM POINT A TO POINT B.
I SORT OF LIKE
SERPENTINE MY WAY AROUND
UNTIL I GET TO WHERE I'M GOING.
>> SO IT'S A NICE GRAY DAY.
I LIVE IN L.A. RIGHT NOW,
AND IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY,
AND, UH, I GET REALLY BORED
OF SUN, AND SO THIS IS PRECISELY
WHAT I'M AFTER WHEN I COME HERE.
>> I LOVE SPRING IN AMSTERDAM
WHEN YOU GET A GOOD WEATHER DAY,
UM, BUT I ALSO LIKE
THE GRAY AND THE RAIN, LIKE--
SO THAT'S WHY AMSTERDAM
HAS ALWAYS BEEN A PERFECT MATCH
FOR ME CITY-WISE.
I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I'M IN
A JOHN LeCARRE NOVEL EVERY TIME
I GO OUT IN AMSTERDAM.
IT ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE THERE'S
SOME SORT OF MICROFILM
TO BE FOUND SOMEWHERE.
DUTCH PEOPLE LOSE THEIR MINDS
WHEN IT'S SUNNY, WHICH IS REALLY
FUN TO BE AROUND.
IT'S A VERY RAINY PLACE.
THEY DON'T GET A LOT
OF SUNSHINE.
SO IF THERE'S LIKE 3
STRAIGHT DAYS OF SUN IN A ROW,
IT'S VERY LIKELY THAT, LIKE,
THE GOVERNMENT WILL COLLAPSE.
FORTUNATELY, IT HASN'T
HAPPENED YET.
>> IF YOU ARE GOING TO COME
TO OUR COUNTRY, AND TO MY CITY,
MAKE SURE YOU GET
YOUR FACTS TOGETHER.
>> WE CALL OUR COUNTRY
NETHERLANDS,
SO, THE NETHERLANDS.
>> HOLLAND IS A--IS A STATE,
AND WE HAVE NORTH HOLLAND
AND SOUTH HOLLAND, AND AMSTERDAM
IS IN NORTH HOLLAND.
>> DUTCH IS THE LANGUAGE,
OR THE DUTCH IS THE--
THE PEOPLE OF THE NETHERLANDS.
>> HI, BUDDY.
>> HI, BUDDY, HOW ARE YOU?
>> GOOD, BRO.
[LAUGHTER]
>> JOSH SOON ARRIVES
AT THE APARTMENT.
HE QUICKLY GETS SETTLED IN,
AND WE HEAD OUT TO TAKE
FULL ADVANTAGE OF AMSTERDAM'S
RAREST GIFT--DRY WEATHER.
THE FIRST THING WE NEED TO DO
IS RENT OUR BIKES.
>> UH, BECAUSE WALKING IS NICE,
THIS IS NICE.
>> YES.
>> BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME
AS RIDING A BIKE.
>> ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS
YOU'LL NOTICE WHEN YOU GET HERE,
IS THAT BICYCLE IS A PRIMARY
MODE OF TRANSPORTATION.
THERE ARE MORE BIKES HERE
THAN RESIDENTS.
YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT
RENT A CAR.
GAS AND PARKING
ARE PROHIBITIVELY EXPENSIVE,
STREETS ARE CONFUSING,
AND VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING
IS CLOSE ENOUGH
THAT 15 MINUTES ON A BIKE
WILL PROBABLY GET YOU THERE.
BUT PLEASE, BE SURE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING FIRST.
>> WHAT IS REALLY ANNOYING
IS TOURISTS ON A BIKE.
>> THEY ALL THINK THEY CAN--THEY
CAN RIDE A BIKE, BUT THEY CAN'T.
>> THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO,
AND THEY DON'T KNOW THE RULES.
>> I CAN, UH, RECOGNIZE TOURISTS
BECAUSE THEY DRIVE ON
A MAC BIKE, OR A YELLOW BIKE.
>> A LOT OF BIKES THAT
YOU CAN RENT MIGHT HAVE THINGS
ON THE FRONT THAT SAY
WHERE YOU'VE RENTED THE BIKE.
>> BUT THOSE PEG YOU
AS A TOURIST.
SO, IF YOU'RE TERRIBLE
ON A BIKE, IT'S A GOOD OPTION,
BECAUSE THEN PEOPLE WILL KNOW.
>> IT'S LIKE NATURE'S WAY
OF LETTING PEOPLE KNOW
YOU'RE A DANGER.
>> [CHUCKLES]
AND INEXPERIENCED.
BUT WE DON'T LIKE THAT,
SO WE TRY TO FIND BIKES
THAT ARE UNMARKED.
>> YES.
>> TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE
A LOCAL.
>> BECAUSE WE'RE COOL CATS.
WHILE THERE ARE PLENTY OF BIKE
RENTAL SHOPS IN THE CITY CENTER,
WE OPT FOR FREDERIC'S
RENT A BIKE, A SMALLER SHOP
KNOWN FOR ITS UNMARKED BIKES.
HELLO?
>> HELLO.
>> WE'RE HERE TO SEE A MAN
ABOUT A BIKE. ARE YOU THE MAN?
>> YES, I AM THE BIKE MAN,
OLAF.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PREFERENCES?
HAND BRAKES, PEDAL BRAKES,
NO BRAKES?
>> UH, WELL, I WANT SOME BRAKES.
>> A TRADITIONAL DUTCH?
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH, A TRADITIONAL DUTCH
IS THE BEST. YEAH.
>> ALL YOU NEED NOW IS WOODEN
SHOES, AND YOU BLEND RIGHT IN.
[LAUGHTER]
>> JOSH, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE
THE DESCRIPTION OF THE OMAFIETS.
>> WELL, OMA MEANS GRANDMOTHER.
AND, UH, IT HAS THIS BIG SWOOSH
IN HERE, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY
ANYONE WOULD EVER WANT
SORT OF THAT STRAIGHT BAR
THAT GOES ACROSS
TO MAKE ANYTHING A MEN'S BIKE.
LIKE, WHAT IS THE ADVANTAGE
OF THAT? UH...
>> BECAUSE THIS WAY YOU CAN JUST
SWING THE LEG THROUGH.
>> YEAH.
>> LOOK AT THIS. SEE, WATCH.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO...
LIKE IF I WERE A BIG GUY...
AND YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT, BUT IT'S VERY--
>> WHO WOULDN'T WANT THAT?
THE NICE THING ABOUT RENTING
FROM SOMEBODY LIKE OLAF
IS WE DON'T HAVE A GIANT SYMBOL
HERE OF A RENTAL BIKE COMPANY.
>> AND NO TOURIST TATTOO
ON YOUR FOREHEADS.
>> EXACTLY. WE CAN BLEND IN.
>> AND WE DON'T LOOK LIKE
TOURISTS AT ALL, DO WE?
>> HMM...
>> HE DOESN'T,
HE COULD BLEND RIGHT IN.
>> YEAH, MY MOMMA TOLD ME
NOT TO LIE.
[LAUGHTER]
>> IN A CITY LIKE AMSTERDAM,
YOU ARE REALLY STUPID
IF YOU DON'T USE A BICYCLE.
>> YEAH.
>> YOU CAN PARK IT EVERYWHERE.
YOU'RE FASTER THAN A CAR.
SO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING
IN REACH WITH YOUR BICYCLE.
WITHIN HALF AN HOUR
YOU'RE ACROSS THE CITY.
>> IT'S THE BEST.
THANK YOU, OLAF.
>> HAVE A NICE DAY.
>> SEE YOU AT THE END OF, UH,
OUR ADVENTURE.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> AMSTERDAM'S ACTUALLY
QUITE SIMPLE.
>> IT'S ALMOST LIKE
A NEIGHBORHOOD, ACTUALLY,
ONE BIG NEIGHBORHOOD.
>> YOU'VE GOT THE CITY CENTER.
>> AND THEN YOU HAVE THE--
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
THE CANAL BELTS, WHERE THEY GO
ALL AROUND THE CITY.
>> THE CANALS ARE ALL
IN A U SHAPE.
>> THAT'S THE ONLY THING
YOU NEED TO KNOW.
YOU START AT TOWN SQUARE,
CENTRAL STATION, OR MUNTPLEIN,
AND AFTER THAT YOU CAN GO
ANY DIRECTION, WANDER DOWN
THE CANALS, AND YOU'LL GET
BACK AT THE SAME PLACE.
>> ON OUR WAY TO OUR FIRST MEAL,
A LEISURELY RIDE
AROUND THIS BEAUTIFUL TOWN.
>> THIS IS THE HAARLEMMERSTRAAT,
AND BACK THERE
IS THE HAARLEMMERDIJK,
AND 181 HAARLEMMERDIJK
IS THE FIRST APARTMENT HERE
THAT BOTH OF US BOTH LIVED IN.
NOT A NICE APARTMENT.
>> NOT A NICE PLACE.
>> THERE'S SOME HERRING
OVER THERE.
THE QUESTION IN AMSTERDAM
IS NEVER WHERE CAN I GET
SOME HERRING, IT'S WHY
WOULD YOU WANT SOME HERRING.
I FEEL LIKE IT'S IMPORTANT
FOR US TO SAY, AND FOR PEOPLE
WHO ARE WATCHING,
WE'D BE BIKING SO MUCH FASTER.
>> [LAUGHS] YEAH, I KNOW,
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
>> IF IT WASN'T FOR THE CAMERAS.
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO
BE LIKE, THOSE TWO DUDES, LIKE,
THEY'RE ON GRANDMA BIKES,
AND THEY'RE BIKING
LIKE A COUPLE OF GRANDMAS.
AMSTERDAM LOCALS ARE VERY
NATURAL BIKE RIDERS,
AND IT'S IMPORTANT NOT TO LOOK
LIKE A TOURIST.
DEVELOPING A TECHNIQUE I LIKE
TO CALL "PUTTING MY HAND
IN MY POCKET," I BELIEVE I LOOK
LIKE A VERY CALM, COOL,
COLLECTED MAN ABOUT TOWN.
IF ANYBODY ASKS, WE SHOULD
TELL THEM WE'RE SHOOTING
A TERRIBLE ACTION MOVIE.
[LAUGHTER]
>> WHAT ARE YOU GUYS SHOOTING?
>> ACTUALLY IT'S LIKE, UM,
"THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS,"
BUT WITH, UM...
>> GRANDMA BIKES?
>> WITH GRANDMA BIKES.
JUST A SHORT WHILE LATER,
AFTER A HARROWING INCIDENT
INVOLVING A HELICOPTER
CHASING A SPEEDBOAT,
AND AN INTERNATIONAL CRIME
SYNDICATE WITH AN EXPLOSION,
THAT UNFORTUNATELY DID NOT
MAKE IT ON TO FILM,
WE ARRIVED AT OUR DESTINATION.
"UPSTAIRS" IS A TINY
PANNENKOEKENHUIS,
OR DUTCH PANCAKE HOUSE,
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE OLD CITY CENTER.
WITH ONLY 4 TABLES,
OWNERS ARNOLD AND ALI
CLAIM IT'S THE SMALLEST
RESTAURANT IN EUROPE, WHICH IS
AN AWESOME THING TO BRAG ABOUT.
AND THOUGH THEY HAVE
AN IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION
OF OVER 100 TEA POTS
HANGING FROM THE CEILING,
WHAT'S EVEN MORE IMPRESSIVE
IS THAT THE DUTCH PANCAKES
THEY MAKE HERE WERE IMMORTALIZED
BY THE GREAT AMERICAN POETS
THE BEASTIE BOYS,
WITH THE FAMOUS LINES,
"SOMETIMES I LIKE TO BRAG,
SOMETIMES I'M SOFT SPOKEN."
>> "BUT WHEN I'M IN HOLLAND,
I EAT THE PANNENKOEKEN."
>> A PANNENKOEKEN IS A SORT OF
CROSS BETWEEN A CREPE
AND A REGULAR PANCAKE,
AND THEY'RE EXCELLENT TO USE
IF YOU EVER NEED TO HIDE
AN ENTIRE PLATE.
THEY'RE COOKED WITH A VARIETY
OF INGREDIENTS,
BOTH SWEET AND SAVORY.
I'M GOING TO HAVE THIS QUEENS.
>> THE QUEENS PANCAKE, YES.
>> AND I WILL DO THE BACON,
CHEESE, AND GINGER.
>> THAT'S REALLY, REALLY DUTCH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH, YOU SHOULD EAT IT WITH
SYRUP. THAT'S WHAT WE DO HERE.
>> YEAH.
>> WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRINK
SOMETHING?
>> UH, KOFFIE VERKEERD.
>> KOFFIE VERKEERD.
OH, THAT IS A DUTCH WORD.
>> YEAH.
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> OKAY.
>> YEAH.
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
[LAUGHTER]
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
YEAH, OKAY.
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> KOFFIE VERKEERD.
WHAT JOSH ORDERED.
>> IT MEANS COFFEE WRONG,
AND IT'S BASICALLY A LATTE.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO NOTICE THAT
ONE OF US SPEAKS DUTCH
A LOT BETTER THAN THE OTHER.
>> I DATED A DUTCH GIRL
FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS.
>> WHICH IS A BIG DIFFERENCE.
>> YEAH.
YOU DATED A DUTCH GIRL FOR LIKE
A MINUTE AT A TIME.
>> YEAH.
[LAUGHTER]
>> [INDISTINCT]
>> THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU.
TOAST.
>> OUR MOTHER WAS A JUNIOR HIGH
FRENCH TEACHER, AND HERE
IS THE DUTCH FLAG OUT HERE.
THE FRENCH FLAG IS THE SAME,
BUT GOING VERTICALLY.
>> YEAH.
>> UH, AND, AFTER MY MOTHER
HAD BEEN A TEACHER FOR 20 YEARS
PLUS, SHE REALIZED THAT SHE HAD
A DUTCH FLAG ON HER DESK.
[LAUGHTER]
ONLY BY COMING HERE, AND
VISITING HER SON, SHE'S LIKE,
"WAIT, THAT'S THE FRENCH FLAG."
AND NOPE, SHE HAD THE WRONG ONE
ON HER DESK.
>> SO, THIS ONE, UH,
CHICKEN RAGU.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> BACON, CHEESE, AND GINGER.
>> THANK YOU.
>> [INDISTINCT]
>> THANK YOU.
AND YOU WERE RIGHT.
I WAS ASKING SETH WHAT
RAGU MEANT, AND HE SAID
HE THINKS IT MEANS SOMEBODY
CHEWS IT UP FOR YOU.
THIS IS STROOP, WHICH IS LIKE
MAPLE SYRUP, BUT NOT AS GOOD.
>> THAT'S REALLY GOOD.
WELL, EVEN AT THE ESTEEMED
INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES,
YOU PROBABLY COULDN'T GET ONE
WITH CHICKEN ON IT.
>> YOU MIGHT.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I'M STARTING TO THINK
INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES
ISN'T AS INTERNATIONAL
AS THEY LED US TO BELIEVE.
[CUCKOO]
A CUCKOO CLOCK JUST WENT OFF.
I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD JUST
LET THAT GO.
>> [LAUGHS]
>> THE PROBLEM WITH, UH,
PANNENKOEKEN IS AFTER
YOU EAT ONE, YOU'RE HUNGRY
AGAIN IN, LIKE, A DAY.
[LAUGHS]
WHEN I FIRST MOVED HERE,
I MADE SURE TO HAVE
A PANNENKOEKEN FOR BREAKFAST
TWICE A WEEK.
AND THEN MY DOCTOR TOLD ME
I HAD 6 MONTHS TO LIVE. "SAVE
THEM FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS."
I'M SURE YOU'D LIKE NOTHING MORE
THAN TO WATCH US EAT THOSE
DELICIOUS PANCAKES FOREVER,
BUT WE HAVE A LOT MORE
TO DO HERE.
EVEN THOUGH MOST OF THE DUTCH
SPEAK ENGLISH RIDICULOUSLY WELL,
IT'S ALWAYS A BONUS TO SPEAK
A FEW WORDS OR PHRASES
WHEN VISITING HERE.
THE LOCALS WILL APPRECIATE
THAT YOU MADE THE EFFORT.
>> IF YOU'RE VISITING AMSTERDAM,
THE WORDS YOU NEED TO KNOW IS...
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
BECAUSE HERE EVERYONE
IS VERY POLITE.
>> "GOOD MORNING" IS
"GOEDEMORGEN."
WE USE THE "GHH" A LOT.
>> "BIERCHEN,"
WHICH IS A BEER.
>> "HOE GAAT HET?"
"HOW ARE YOU?"
IT'S A GOOD START OF
A CONVERSATION, AND IT'S
A GOOD START TO MAKE FRIENDS
IN AMSTERDAM, BASICALLY.
>> YOU GUYS WILL EDIT THIS
TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE LOCK
OUR BIKES FASTER, RIGHT?
>> [LAUGHS]
ALL RIGHT, 9 STRAATJENS.
SO THESE ARE THE 9 STREETS,
WHICH ARE ALL LITTLE
SHOPPING STREETS,
AND THEY'RE REALLY 3 STREETS
JUST SEPARATED BY CANALS,
BUT THEY'VE CALLED THEM
THE 9 STREETS,
SO THAT'S WHAT WE DO, TOO.
>> THE 9 STREETS ARE IN DUTCH
CALLED "DE NEGEN STRAATJENS,"
ARE 9 SMALL STREETS
NEXT TO THE CANALS
WITH SMALL LOVELY BOUTIQUES.
IT'S NOT THE MAINSTREAM KIND OF
SHOPS, BUT TYPICAL DUTCH BRANDS.
NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN FIND
IN EVERY COUNTRY.
IT'S THE BEST THAT
YOU CAN SHOP IN AMSTERDAM.
>> JOSH AND I COME HERE ALMOST
EVERY TRIP BACK TO AMSTERDAM.
JOSH EVEN HAS HIS REGULAR SPOTS.
>> JOJO IS YOUR OLD
[INDISTINCT].
>> YEAH.
>> I'LL KNOW WITHIN TWO MINUTES
WHETHER OR NOT I LIKE WHAT THEY
HAVE FOR ME OR NOT, EVEN LESS.
>> JOSH IS THE CLOTHESHORSE
OF THE MEYERS FAMILY.
THE SHOP'S OWNER BRINGS BACK
COLLECTIBLES AND ONE-OFF
DESIGNER SUITS FROM ITALY.
NO MULTIPLE SIZES HERE.
IF IT DOESN'T FIT,
YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK.
>> HERE WE GO. YEAH.
THE HEFNER.
>> THANKFULLY, THIS SUIT
DOESN'T FIT JOSH, SO I NEVER
HAVE TO SEE IT AGAIN.
>> YEAH, A LITTLE BIG, BUT...
>> [LAUGHS]
>> GHOST RIDER?
YEAH, FIX IT.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> PERFECT, RIGHT?
>> IT LOOKED CRAZY
WHEN THE COLLAR WAS UP,
AND NOW IT LOOKS FINE.
[LAUGHTER]
>> I ACTUALLY KIND OF LIKE IT.
>> IT'S PRETTY GREAT.
>> YEAH.
I THINK I'M ALL RIGHT.
>> ALL RIGHTY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
OH, SUNSHINE.
>> SUN!
GET IT WHILE YOU CAN.
GOING SOCK SHOPPING.
>> HI, HOW ARE YOU?
>> NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD
SAY IT'S BORING TO BUY SOCKS
ON VACATION, BUT THEN EVERY TIME
I PUT THESE SOCKS ON, I'M GOING
TO REMEMBER BEING IN AMSTERDAM,
SO NOW WHO'S THE IDIOT?
OH, MY GOD.
>> OOH, YOU OKAY?
>> 50 EUROS FOR SOCKS.
[LAUGHTER]
>> DO THE SOCKS
GIVE YOU A [BLEEP]?
>> I'M WORRIED
THIS PART OF THE SHOW WILL BE
SO EXCITING IT'LL GET PICKED UP
AS ITS OWN SHOW.
>> [LAUGHS]
CAN I SEE A PAIR OF THESE
WOODEN SUNGLASSES?
>> CAN I SEE A PAIR AS WELL?
NOW, HISTORICALLY, JOSH LOOKS
WAY BETTER IN SUNGLASSES THAN
I DO, BUT IT'S WORTH A SHOT.
THANK YOU.
I HAVEN'T LOOKED IN THE MIRROR
YET, BUT DO YOU THINK
THEY LOOK WAY BETTER ON YOU
THAN THEY DO ON ME?
>> YEAH, I DO.
>> WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
OH, YEAH.
>> [LAUGHS]
>> WELL, I JUST--I DON'T HAVE
A FACE FOR SUNGLASSES.
I THINK THE LESSON IN THIS IS
ONLY IN AMSTERDAM
YOU GO FOR SOCKS, YOU LEAVE
WITH WOODEN SUNGLASSES.
>> [LAUGHS]
>> THANK YOU.
>> BYE-BYE, THANK YOU.
>> THIS IS WHERE, UH,
TOOTHBRUSHES GET TO GO
FOR A RIDE.
IT'S A TOP VACATION SPOT
FOR TOOTHBRUSHES.
ONE THING THE DUTCH
ARE FAMOUS FOR IS CHEESE.
SO IF YOU'RE A FAN,
YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO POP
INTO THE CHEESE MECCA
THAT IS DE KAASKAMER.
BUT BE WARNED IF YOU HAVE
A CAMERA CREW IN TOW.
DUTCH CHEESE IS FAMOUSLY SHY.
WE WERE GOING TO TAKE YOU GUYS
IN TO SHOW YOU AROUND THE CHEESE
SHOP, UH, BUT IT'S LUNCH TIME,
AND THEY WERE WORRIED
IT WOULD BE TOO CROWDED
WITH THE LUNCH RUSH.
AND THAT IS THE MOST DUTCH
THING POSSIBLE, THAT IT WAS
TOO CROWDED IN THE CHEESE SHOP.
>> IF YOU'RE WORKING IN A DUTCH
OFFICE, AND IT GETS AROUND
LIKE 11:30, 12:00,
AND YOU CAN START TO--
>> TIME TO GET ONE OF THESE.
>> [LAUGHS]
YOU START TO FEEL THE ITCH.
[LAUGHTER]
>> SO SORRY.
IF YOU'RE NOT INTO SHOPPING,
AND YOU'RE BLESSED WITH
NICE WEATHER, LIKE WE ARE,
HEAD TO WHERE THE LOCALS
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A SUNNY DAY.
JUST OUTSIDE THE CITY CENTER
IS THE VONDELPARK, AMSTERDAM'S
VERSION OF CENTRAL PARK.
>> THIS IS THE VONDELPARK,
AND, UM, YEAH, IT'S A COMPLETE--
UM, YES, IT'S ALL FREEDOM HERE.
AND EVERYBODY, EVERY DIFFERENT
PEOPLE ARE, UM, YES,
ARE CHILLING HERE.
>> HERE YOU CAN RELAX,
GET DRUNK, GET ***.
>> NAMED FOR DUTCH POET
JOOST VAN DEN VONDEL,
THIS IS WHERE AMSTERDAMERS
GO TO DO THE SAME THING
PEOPLE IN OTHER PARTS OF
THE WORLD DO IN PARKS, EXCEPT
HERE YOU CAN ALSO SMOKE WEED.
WE'RE MEETING OUR FAVORITE
AMSTERDAMER, 12-YEAR-OLD
FINN MOSKOS, THE SON OF OUR
GOOD FRIENDS WHO FOUNDED
THE BOOM CHICAGO THEATER.
>> HI, FINN.
>> HI, SETH. HI, JOSH.
>> HI, BUDDY.
>> WILL YOU TRY TO BE A LITTLE
MORE EXCITED TO SEE US?
>> [LAUGHS]
>> WHILE THEY'RE FILMING US.
SO IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
WE BROUGHT YOU HERE AT GUNPOINT.
[LAUGHTER]
>> SETH! JOSH!
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> JOSH AND I HAVE KNOWN FINN
SINCE HE WAS BORN, AND TOOK IT
UPON OURSELVES TO PERSONALLY
INDOCTRINATE HIM IN THE WAYS
OF THE GREAT AMERICAN PASTIME.
FINN, UH, THIS IS REALLY
IMPORTANT FOR THE CAMERAS.
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE
BASEBALL TEAM?
>> [LAUGHS]
BASEBALL TEAM?
UH, BOSTON RED SOX.
>> OH, SO UNCONVINCING.
>> [LAUGHS]
SORRY.
BOSTON RED SOX!
>> [LAUGHS]
THERE IS NO CURRENCY
QUITE AS VALUABLE
AS A SUNNY DAY IN AMSTERDAM.
WHEN I LIVED THERE, THE MINUTE
THE SUN PEEKED OUT FROM
THE CLOUDS, YOU WERE ON YOUR
BIKE ON THE WAY TO VONDELPARK.
AFTER BARELY TOLERATING US
FOR AN AFTERNOON,
FINN IS OFF FOR COOLER THINGS,
AND JOSH AND I HEAD BACK
TO THE CENTER OF TOWN
FOR A CLASSIC DUTCH APERITIVO
BEFORE DINNER.
>> THERE'S A CLASSIC, UH,
LIQUOR HERE IN AMSTERDAM,
IN HOLLAND, IS, UH, JENEVER.
>> JENEVER IS A--WELL,
YOU COULD COMPARE IT WITH GIN.
IT'S NOT REALLY FASHIONABLE
AMONG THE YOUNG PEOPLE,
BUT THE OLDER YOU GET,
THE MORE YOU SEEM TO LIKE IT.
>> WE'RE HEADED TO DE OOIEVAAR,
A SMALL CAFE SPECIALIZING
IN LOCALLY DISTILLED JENEVER,
IN AN AREA THAT USED TO BE
FAMOUS FOR THE JUNKIES
AND DRUG SCENE, BUT NOW
HAS REALLY CLEANED ITSELF UP.
>> HELLO.
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> HELLO.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK?
>> WELL, I THINK WE WANT
SOME JENEVER FIRST,
SO WHY DON'T YOU RECOMMEND--?
>> I RECOMMEND THE KOPSTOOT.
IT'S A BEER WITH A JENEVER.
>> DO IT.
>> AND I'LL GIVE YOU AN OLD
JENEVER. VERY LOVELY.
THIS IS 3 YEARS OLD,
LAID IN WOODEN BARRELS,
AND IT'S VERY SOFT
AND OLD JENEVER.
AND THE FIRST SIP,
YOU DON'T USE YOUR HANDS.
>> JUST STRAIGHT DOWN?
>> [INDISTINCT] YEAH.
THANK YOU.
>> NO, THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU.
>> HERE YOU ARE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> HERE YOU ARE.
>> OLD AND YOUNG,
IT'S NOT A BAD AGE, RIGHT?
IT'S JUST HOW IT'S DISTILLED?
>> DISTILLED, AND THIS IS, UH,
GIN, A DUTCH GIN, BUT IT'S LAID
IN WOODEN BARRELS, A LITTLE BIT
LIKE A COGNAC, OR A WHISKEY.
>> AND JENEVER IS JUST JUNIPER,
RIGHT?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
FROM THE JUNIPER BERRIES.
>> YUP.
AND IS THE DIFFERENCE IN
THE DIFFERENT BOTTLES JUST HOW
LONG THEY'RE AGED,
OR ARE THEY DIFFERENT FLAVORS?
>> THE AGE, FLAVOR...
>> OKAY.
>> THIS IS A CHERRY JENEVER.
THIS IS A LADY'S JENEVER.
YOU WANT TO TRY A LITTLE BIT?
>> YES.
WAIT, DID YOU SAY IT WAS
A LADY'S JENEVER?
>> YEAH, TRY THE LADY'S ONE.
>> AND DO YOU WANT TO TRY IT?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
>> IT'S CHERRY FOR LADIES.
>> CHERRY IS FOR LADIES.
>> GIVE HER A GO.
[LAUGHS]
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> HERE'S TO THE LADIES.
OH.
IT'S LIKE GRAPE SODA.
[LAUGHTER]
>> NICE?
>> IT'S NICE. IT'S A LITTLE
TOO SWEET FOR ME,
BECAUSE I'M A MACHO DUDE.
[LAUGHTER]
>> HOW OLD IS THIS BAR?
>> THE BUILDING IS FROM 1605.
>> UH-HUH.
>> AND THE BAR IS FROM 1994.
[LAUGHTER]
>> THAT'S A LITTLE LESS.
WELL, I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GOING
TO BE IN THE 1600s.
SO THAT IS JENEVER.
VERY TASTY.
YOU COULD DO WORSE THAN TOSSING
A FEW OF THESE BACK WITH
A COUPLE OF LOCAL BARFLIES.
BUT AS MUCH AS WE'D LIKE
TO SPEND ALL NIGHT WITH DUTCH
JACK NICHOLSON,
WE'RE GETTING HUNGRY,
SO IT'S OFF TO DINNER.
>> DUTCH IS NOT REALLY
A LANGUAGE, IT'S MORE
A DISEASE OF YOUR THROAT.
>> YOU HAVE TO SPEAK IN HERE.
>> [GUTTURAL SOUND]
>> EVERYTHING WITH "GHH" IN IT
IS NICE.
>> IT'S EARLY EVENING, AND JOSH
AND I ARE HEADED TO DINNER.
ON THE EASTERN EDGE
OF THE CITY CENTER
IS HARTERING BROTHERS,
A RESTAURANT THAT SERVES
FINE DUTCH COOKING,
IN A LAND NOT ESPECIALLY KNOWN
FOR ITS CUISINE.
>> DUTCH FOOD IS LIKE
VERY SIMPLE FOOD.
COUNTRY LIFE FOOD, A LOT OF
POTATOES, A LOT OF VEGETABLES,
AND A MEATBALL.
>> THE DUTCH HAVE THE TRADITION
TO TAKE ALL THE INGREDIENTS,
PUT THEM IN ONE POT,
STOMP IT, AND THEN EAT IT.
>> DUTCH CUISINE HAS IMPROVED
IMMEASURABLY SINCE I FIRST
MOVED HERE 15 YEARS AGO.
SO MUCH SO THAT NOW I WOULD
NEVER EVEN CONSIDER
GOING TO THE LOCAL BURGER KING.
THIS IS VERY EXCITING, BECAUSE
PRETTY MUCH YOU ONLY HAVE LIKE
ONE OF 3 BEERS IN AMSTERDAM.
>> RIGHT.
>> GROLSCH, HEINEKEN.
>> BRAND, OCCASIONALLY.
>> MAYBE BRAND.
SO THIS IS NEUBOURG,
WHICH IS A GULPENER PILSNER.
>> IT IS ONE OF THE NICE THINGS
ABOUT HOLLAND, THOUGH,
THAT WHEN YOU ORDER A BEER,
YOU TYPICALLY JUST ORDER A BEER,
AND THEY BRING YOU
WHAT THEY HAVE FOR A BEER.
>> RIGHT.
>> SO THEY MIGHT HAVE
A SELECTION, BUT...
>> NO ONE IS EVER LIKE,
"WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP?"
>> RIGHT.
YOU ORDER, "I WANT A BEER,"
AND THEY POUR YOU A BEER.
>> CHEERS.
>> CHEERS.
>> THIS PLACE PRIDES ITSELF
ON FARM-TO-TABLE INGREDIENTS
AND NOSE-TO-TAIL COOKING.
SO YOU CAN FEEL VERY GOOD ABOUT
YOURSELF WHILE YOU EAT HERE,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU ENJOY
EATING NOSES AND TAILS.
WE START OFF WITH
NON-GENETICALLY MODIFIED OYSTERS
FROM NORMANDY, AND IF THERE'S
A MORE APPETIZING WORD
THAN "NON-GENETICALLY,"
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
ARE THE CLASSIC TRAITS
OF AN AMSTERDAMER?
>> THEY'RE BLUNT.
>> BRUTAL HONESTY.
>> YEAH.
BUT THEY DON'T SEE IT
AS BEING WRONG, OR--
>> THEY SEE IT AS A VIRTUE.
>> YEAH, WE WOULD PERFORM,
AND SOMEONE MIGHT COME UP
TO YOU AFTER A SHOW, AND SAY,
"UH, THERE WERE PARTS
OF YOUR SHOW I REALLY LIKED,
AND HALF OF IT I DID NOT
THINK WAS FUNNY AT ALL."
>> I WOULD SAY MY FAVORITE THING
IS MY BROTHER DOING A DUTCH
PERSON TALKING IN ENGLISH.
I COULD TALK TO YOU AS TWO DUTCH
GUYS SPEAKING ENGLISH ALL NIGHT.
YEAH, ARE YOU HAVING FUN?
>> YEAH, IT'S OKAY, I MEAN,
THE OYSTERS WERE MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT TOO SALTY FOR ME.
>> YEAH, THAT'S OKAY,
YOU KNOW, IT WAS NICE TO PUT
PEPPER ON THEM.
>> THERE'S ALWAYS LIKE A LITTLE
BIT PIECE OF SOMETHING IN THERE,
AND IT'S HARD, AND CRACKS
ON YOUR TOOTH A BIT.
>> IN THE TOOTH A BIT, YEAH.
>> HOW MANY PERSONS DO YOU THINK
CAN FIT IN THIS RESTAURANT?
>> LIKE 40 PERSONS.
>> 40 PERSONS?
>> YEAH.
>> 40 PERSONS,
AND THEN IT IS FULL.
>> I ENJOY IT, I LIKE IT.
IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE.
>> YEAH, WAY TOO EXPENSIVE.
>> THAT'S ANOTHER THING.
DUTCH PEOPLE ARE VERY
COST-CONSCIOUS.
AFTER YOU DO A SHOW,
THEY'LL BE LIKE,
"YEAH, IT WAS FAIRLY PRICED."
>> THAT'S A COMPLIMENT.
>> THEY JUST WANT TO GET
THEIR MONEY'S WORTH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH, LIKE IT'S ALMOST LIKE,
I WAS, LIKE, "I LAUGHED ENOUGH
FOR 20 EUROS. AT 30 EUROS
I WOULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE..."
>> IT WAS BIT STEEP.
>> IT WAS A LITTLE STEEP.
>> SO, I'LL SHORTLY
EXPLAIN WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
ON THIS SIDE YOU'VE GOT
TIROLER SPECK.
THAT'S SOME COPPA.
AND ON THIS SIDE,
IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY COOL,
IT'S FILLED-UP PORK'S HEAD,
AND THEN THINLY SLICED.
BUT I CAN SHOW YOU.
>> PORK'S HEAD?
>> YEAH, I'LL SHOW YOU.
LOOKS LIKE...
>> UH-HUH.
>> SO YOU, UM...
YOU TOTALLY CUT IT OFF THE BONE.
THEN YOU SEW THE MOUTH
AND THE EARS OVER THE EYES,
THEN YOU FILL IT BACK UP AGAIN.
OVER HERE YOU'VE GOT
THE PIG CHEEKS, THEN YOU ROLL
THE TONGUE BACK IN...
>> UH-HUH.
>> AND THEN YOU FILL IT
WITH THE MINCED MEAT OF THE--
OF THE LEFTOVERS FROM THE HEAD.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> AND FROM ALL THE GELATIN
IT GETS ALL, YOU KNOW,
STIFF AGAIN, AND THEN YOU CUT...
>> WOW, GREAT.
>> THINLY SLICING IT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> ENJOY, GUYS.
>> THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE.
>> [LAUGHS]
>> EVERYTHING HE SAID MADE
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS
SO MUCH WORSE.
>> PORK'S HEAD,
AND I'LL SHOW YOU.
>> I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE
THE FACE.
>> [LAUGHS]
NO.
>> ALL I'M THINKING IS,
"THAT'LL DO, PIG."
THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK OF NOW.
ALL I CAN THINK OF
IS THE LAST SCENE OF "BABE."
NEXT UP IS A SCALLOP CRUDO
MADE WITH POPPY SEEDS, LEMON,
AND OLIVE OIL,
AND YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS
A SETH MEYERS FIRST.
I'VE NEVER EATEN A SCALLOP,
SO I CAN'T BELIEVE IT,
THAT I HELD OUT FOR 39 YEARS.
>> [LAUGHS]
YOU'LL DO FINE WITH IT.
>> OKAY.
>> ONE AND DONE.
THAT LOOKS LIKE A ONE AND DONE,
FORK DOWN.
>> YEAH, I JUST DON'T LIKE
THE IDEA OF SCALLOPS.
>> OCTOPUS,
ON THE CHARCOAL GRILL,
WATERCRESS, ROAST CHILI,
AND LEMON CONFIT.
>> ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU.
>> NOW, YOU MIGHT THINK
IF I DON'T LIKE SCALLOPS,
I WOULD HATE OCTOPUS.
YOU'D BE WRONG.
>> YEAH.
>> I LOVE OCTOPUS.
THAT'S GREAT.
>> HERE WE ARE.
>> OUR FINAL COURSE
IS PRETTY SPECIAL.
IT'S A GRILLED AGED RIB STEAK
SERVED WITH ROASTED BONE MARROW.
>> THOSE 4 SLICES
ARE BEEF HEART.
>> ARE WHAT?
>> BEEF HEART.
>> BEEF HEART. THESE 4 ONES?
>> YEAH, THE LITTLE ONES, YES.
[INDISTINCT]
>> OKAY, GREAT, THANK YOU.
>> ON THE CHARCOAL GRILL.
MARINATED WITH GARLIC, LEMON,
AND CHILI.
>> THIS IS CRAZY GOOD,
ESPECIALLY THE MARROW.
>> MARROW'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS
THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO LIKE...
BUT IT'S SO GOOD.
>> WELL, THE OLD SAYING GOES
"THE BEST BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT
IS THE ONE INTO MY TUMMY."
SO IF YOU ARE FEELING
ADVENTUROUS, I'D CERTAINLY
RECOMMEND THIS PLACE.
BUT AMSTERDAM HAS A LOT
OF DINING OPTIONS
YOU WOULDN'T NECESSARILY EXPECT.
MUCH LIKE CURRY IN ENGLAND,
SURINAMESE AND INDONESIAN FOOD
ARE VERY COMMON HERE.
>> THE REASON WHY WE HAVE A LOT
OF SURINAME FOOD AND INDONESIAN
FOOD AROUND IS BECAUSE
THEY USED TO BE OUR COLONIES.
BASICALLY A LOT OF PEOPLE
IMMIGRATED FROM SURINAME
AND INDONESIA TO HOLLAND,
BROUGHT THEIR CULTURES,
THEIR FOODS.
>> I MYSELF AM A BIG FAN
OF THE INDONESIAN CUISINE.
YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY TRY IT.
AFTER A HEARTY MEAL,
IT'S ONLY RIGHT TO GRAB A BEER
AT A CLASSIC BROWN CAFE,
LIKE CAFE PIEPER.
>> A BROWN CAFE IS A REAL
TYPICAL NEIGHBORHOOD PLACE,
WHERE THE LOCALS HANG OUT.
>> IT'S A CAFE WHERE PEOPLE
SMOKE SO MUCH THAT, UH,
THE CEILING HAS BECOME BROWN.
>> THE INTERIOR'S WOOD,
BROWN WALLS, STUFF LIKE THAT.
GIVES A WARM FEELING.
>> THIS PLACE HAS BEEN HERE
SINCE THE MID-17th CENTURY,
SO LONG THAT THE STONE STEP
IN THE ENTRANCE IS WORN DOWN
FROM 350 YEARS OF FOOT TRAFFIC.
THEY CALLED A STEP GUY TO COME
FIX IT IN THE MID-18th CENTURY,
BUT HE HASN'T SHOWN UP YET.
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> OUR BARTENDER IS A CLASSIC
AMSTERDAM NATIVE, AND AFTER JOSH
WARMS HIS COLD EXTERIOR
WITH SOME CONVERSATION IN DUTCH
ABOUT THE LAST TIME WE VISITED
THE BAR, HE OPENS UP,
AND TREATS US TO AN IMPROMPTU
LESSON IN BEER CULTURE.
>> THERE IS TWO DIFFERENT
KINDS OF BEER.
THERE'S ONE ENJOYING BEER,
AND THERE'S A DRINKING BEER.
THAT'S THIS ONE, AND IF YOU
DRINK IT A LOT, YOU GET DRUNK.
>> THIS IS HEINEKEN.
>> THIS IS HEINEKEN,
STANDARD HEINEKEN.
THE BEST BEER, I THINK,
IN HOLLAND IS THE BRAND BEER.
>> BRAND?
>> BRAND, AND WE CALL IT
IMPERATOR, AND IT'S A BROWN
BEER, AND IT'S FULL OF FLAVORS,
AND IT'S A VERY NICE BEER.
>> IS BRAND BELGIAN OR DUTCH?
>> SORRY?
>> BRAND, IS--
>> NO, IT'S JUST DUTCH.
>> BUT IT'S LIKE BELGIAN STYLE?
>> IT'S THE OLDEST BREWERY
IN HOLLAND. IT'S FROM 1340.
>> WOW.
>> IT'S IN--THEY REFRESH
THE BEER EVERY TIME,
SO DON'T WORRY.
OKAY, IT'S NOT SO OLD.
ALL THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF BEER
HAVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF GLASSES,
AND I LIKE THAT VERY MUCH.
YOU SEE?
THIS GLASS LOOKS LIKE
A RUMMER FROM THE OLD TIME.
>> YEAH.
>> YOU SEE?
AND THIS IS THE BEER.
DO YOU KNOW WHY THERE'S A LOT
OF FOAM ON IT?
>> NO.
>> BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE THERE'S
BUBBLES INSIDE.
>> HOW DO YOU SAY THAT?
CARBONATION?
>> CARBONATION, YES,
AND THE FOAM KEEP IT INSIDE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> IF THERE'S NO FOAM,
IT GOES OUT.
IT'S LIKE CHAMPAGNE.
IF YOU HAVE TWO BIG GLASSES,
THE BUBBLES GOES OUT.
YOU SEE THIS ON THE GLASS?
YOU SEE 1, 2, 3,
4, 5, YOU TAKE 5 NIPS.
>> OH, YEAH.
>> AND YOU SEE THE QUALITY
OF THE GLASS AND THE BEER.
IF YOU DRINK SOMWHERE BEER,
AND IT'S TOTALLY WHITE, YOU KNOW
THE GLASSES ARE NOT CLEAN.
WE CLEAN THEM BEFORE YOU CAME.
WE KNEW IT.
>> THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> OKAY.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> OKAY. YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> THANK YOU FOR ALL THIS.
>> OKAY.
>> THE BEST THING ABOUT
AMSTERDAM IS THERE ARE SO MANY
PLACES LIKE THIS YOU CAN TUCK
INTO AND MEET, LIKE, A CHARMING
BARKEEP, HAVE A GREAT BEER.
AND PART OF, LIKE--I FEEL LIKE
WHAT I LOVE SO MUCH ABOUT
THE CITY IS THE FACT
THAT, LIKE, IT'S SO COZY.
I GUESS WE SHOULD EXPLAIN
THE MOST IMPORTANT WORD
ABOUT AMSTERDAM.
>> GEZELLIG.
>> GEZELLIG.
GEZELLIG IS THE WORD
YOU MOST NEED.
>> [INDISTINCT]
>> THE BEST ENGLISH WORD FOR IT,
GEZELLIG, BUT IT DOESN'T
QUITE GET IT RIGHT.
GEZELLIG MEANS, LIKE,
YOU'RE SOMEWHERE LIKE THIS,
YOU'RE WITH YOUR FRIENDS,
YOU'RE DRINKING BEER,
AND YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.
THERE'S MAYBE SOME, LIKE,
WARM LIGHTING.
>> YOU COULD HAVE A PICNIC,
THAT'S GEZELLIG.
YOU COULD HAVE A DINNER PARTY,
THAT'S TOTALLY GEZELLIG.
>> GEZELLIG IS A DUTCH WAY
OF BEING, LIKE, IT COULDN'T BE
MUCH BETTER THAN
WHAT IT IS RIGHT NOW.
>> RIGHT.
>> YEAH.
>> WE'RE ALL ABOUT GEZELLIG,
AND GEZELLIG ALSO MEANS
YOU HAVE TO EAT A LOT.
IT'S NOT REALLY HAUTE CUISINE,
BUT IT'S...
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> AH, THAT'S LIKE THIS.
>> WHAT?
>> THAT IS A NICE FOOD.
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS.
ALL OVER THE WORLD, PEOPLE GOT
SIGNS THAT REALLY MAKE SENSE,
AND HERE IN AMSTERDAM,
IN HOLLAND, WE DO "LEKKER."
JUST DO IT.
>> NIGHTTIME IN AMSTERDAM
IS THE PERFECT TIME TO HAVE FUN,
MAKE FRIENDS, CAUSE TROUBLE,
ALL WITH THE KNOWLEDGE
THAT, COME MORNING,
YOU WON'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT.
>> IN THE NIGHTTIME WE GO OUT
VISITING THE CLUBS.
IN AMSTERDAM WE HAVE
GREAT CLUBS.
>> JUST GO TO LEIDSE SQUARE.
IT'S NICE.
A LOT OF TOURISTS, A LOT OF
STRANGE BARS, A LOT OF BEER.
>> EVERYTHING GOES ON--
IN LEIDSE SQUARE
YOU'VE GOT, LIKE, EVERYTHING.
>> THEN ACTUALLY, AFTER A NIGHT
OF DRINKING AND/OR SMOKING,
YOU'RE BOUND TO FIND YOURSELF
IN A FAMILIAR SITUATION.
>> YOU'RE HUNGRY, IT'S LATE,
NOTHING ELSE IS OPEN, YOU'VE GOT
A FEW COINS IN YOUR POCKET,
YOU'RE DRUNK, YOU JUST WANT
TO EAT FAST AND GREASY,
AND THAT'S FEBO.
>> FEBO IS...
UGH...
>> IN AMSTERDAM YOU COME OUT
OF A PUB, YOU GO FOR A FEBO.
>> IT'S LIKE A BIG
VENDING MACHINE.
YOU PUT MONEY IN A SLOT
AND YOU OPEN A HATCH,
AND THERE'S FOOD IN IT,
OR SOMETHING
THAT THEY CONSIDER FOOD.
>> FEBO IS A GOOD PLACE TO GO
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO THROW UP
AFTER DRINKING.
>> DO NOT LISTEN
TO THESE HATERS.
FEBO IS QUITE POSSIBLY MY
FAVORITE THING ABOUT AMSTERDAM.
I THINK PEOPLE,
WHEN THEY SEE IT, WILL THINK
THAT I'M MAYBE CRAZY.
THAT IT LOOKS LIKE GARBAGE.
>> BUT IT'S EXCEPTIONAL.
>> IT'S EXCEPTIONAL.
I FEEL LIKE WE'VE GONE
SOME PLACES ON THIS TRIP
WHERE YOU MIGHT RUB ELBOWS
WITH SOME DUTCH LUMINARIES.
FEBO'S NOT ONE OF THOSE PLACES.
>> NO.
>> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SEE
THE BEST OF HOLLAND AT A FEBO.
>> YOU MIGHT TASTE IT, THOUGH.
>> YOU MIGHT TASTE THE BEST
OF HOLLAND.
>> IT SAYS, "THE LEKKERSTE,"
WHICH MEANS THE MOST DELICIOUS,
WHICH IS A MISNOMER.
>> AND IT'S RIGHT.
>> [LAUGHS]
OKAY.
>> THERE WE GO.
LOOK AT THAT.
COULDN'T BE EASIER.
WHAT? WHAT IS THAT?
THAT'S NOT FOOD, BUT IT IS.
THIS TASTES LIKE WINNING.
WHAT'D YOU GET?
THE SPECIAALTJE?
>> SPECIAALTJE.
FRESH SNACKS WITH SPICY MEAT
AND ONION.
IT'S SPECIAL.
>> CHEERS.
>> CHEERS, BRO.
>> TO LIFE.
>> WHEN YOU COME HERE,
GO AND VISIT THE MUSEUMS.
>> ESPECIALLY THE RIJKSMUSEUM.
IT'S--IT'S AMAZING.
>> WE LOVE THE RIJKSMUSEUM.
>> WE LOVE THE RIJKSMUSEUM.
>> I THINK IT'S ONE OF THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL BUILDINGS
OF AMSTERDAM.
>> WITH OUR OLD PAINTERS
LIKE REMBRANDT AND VAN GOGH.
>> IN HOLLAND WE SAY, VAN GOGH.
I THINK IN AMERICA THEY SAY,
VAN GOGH, BUT IT'S VAN GOGH.
IT'S VAN GOGH.
THE ARTIST, THE FAMOUS PAINTER,
YOU KNOW, OF COURSE.
>> THIS IS OLI LOCADIA,
THE FAMOUS DUTCH HIP-HOP ARTIST
AND DJ, KNOWN AS WILLIE WARTAAL.
WE'RE HEADED TO AMSTELVELD
THIS MORNING TO MEET OLI,
AND TEACH HIM PETANQUE,
A GAME SIMILAR TO BOCCE
THAT JOSH AND I HAVE BEEN
PLAYING FOR YEARS.
OUR PRODUCERS THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE FUN TO HAVE US TEACH ONE OF
HOLLAND'S BIGGEST HIP-HOP STARS
THE LEAST HIP-HOP
GAME IMAGINABLE.
>> OKAY, WHAT ARE THE RULES?
>> WATCH THE MASTERS.
>> [LAUGHS]
>> YOU KNOW LIKE HOW VAN GOGH
AND REMBRANDT ARE, LIKE,
THE DUTCH MASTERS?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> WE'RE KIND OF LIKE
THE REMBRANDT AND VAN GOGH
OF THIS GAME.
>> OKAY.
>> THE RULES ARE SIMPLE.
YOU TAKE TURNS THROWING
HEAVY METAL BALLS
AT A SMALL WOODEN BALL.
WHOEVER GETS CLOSEST
SCORES THE POINT.
IT'S NOT PARTICULARLY DUTCH
PER SE, BUT WHEN JOSH AND I
LIVED HERE, WE DISCOVERED
THERE'S NOTHING MORE DUTCH
THAN TO SPEND A SUNNY MORNING
WITH A FEW BEERS
AND SOME NEW FRIENDS.
VERY GOOD.
>> BEAUTIFUL.
>> OLI, HOW WOULD YOU BEST
KILL AN AFTERNOON IN AMSTERDAM?
>> IN THE HOLLAND PARK,
IN THE SUMMER,
THEY'VE GOT CONCERTS.
>> WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE
PLACES TO SEE MUSIC HERE?
>> THE MELKWEG AND THE PARADISO.
>> THE MELKWEG'S GREAT.
>> YEAH, DEFINITELY.
>> THERE ARE SOME GREAT
CONCERTS THERE.
>> AND I LOVE THE PARADISO AS
WELL. THEY'VE GOT LOVE FOR ME.
>> YOU'VE PERFORMED THERE?
>> YEAH, WE ALWAYS RUIN
THE BACKSTAGE.
>> OKAY.
>> BUT THEY STILL INVITE US
BACK.
>> ALL RIGHT, GOT YOU.
>> SO THAT'S LOVE.
>> DO YOU PLAY ALL OVER HOLLAND?
>> YEAH, AND IN BELGIUM AS WELL.
>> OKAY, GOT YOU.
>> YEAH, BECAUSE WE RAP
IN DUTCH, YOU KNOW.
SO YOU CAN'T GO TO
GERMANY OR FRANCE,
BECAUSE THEY WON'T GET IT.
>> SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU JUST
DO HALF OF BELGIUM THEN?
TOP HALF? COME ON.
FLEMISH.
>> WHERE ARE YOU, MAN?
YEAH, WHERE ARE YOU, MAN?
HE'S SCORING POINTS HERE.
>> YEAH.
>> WELL, I MEAN,
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE
WITH THE OPPOSITES
EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, I KNOW...
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> OKAY, NICE.
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> YEAH, YOU SPEAK THE LANGUAGE
A LITTLE BIT.
>> A LITTLE BIT?
>> HE SPEAKS IT WAY BETTER
THAN I DO.
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> YEAH,
[SPEAKING DUTCH].
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> YEAH.
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
YOU SAID "MIER,"
AND "MIER" IS "ANT."
>> WELL, THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.
[LAUGHTER]
ALL RIGHT, LAST ROUND.
>> BE THE BALL.
JUST BE THE BALL.
>> FINALLY SOME COACHING
FROM A LOCAL.
>> BE THE BALL.
>> WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR
IF NOT COACHING?
>> BE THE BALL. WAIT!
ARE YOU BEING THE BALL?
>> NOW I AM.
>> OKAY, GO.
>> NO.
>> NO, IT'S GOOD, IT'S GOOD.
>> YEAH?
>> CUT IN SOMETHING
WHERE IT'S GOOD.
[LAUGHTER]
>> I'M REALLY BAD AT THIS.
>> BUT YOU CAN'T STOP TRYING.
YOU'LL GET IT.
JUST THROW YOUR LAST TWO.
[LAUGHTER]
>> OKAY.
>> HE'S GOING FOR IT.
OH, BOY.
>> NOT BAD.
>> WELL, IF THE GAME WAS
THROW IT AGAINST THE WALL...
>> YOU GUYS AREN'T VERY GOOD.
>> NO.
THANK GOD OLI'S HERE.
AT LEAST I FINISHED SECOND.
>> IF YOU ARE A TOURIST
IN AMSTERDAM, YOU SHOULD VISIT
THE CANALS, AND GO WITH A BOAT.
>> PREFERABLE TO HAVE A LITTLE
BOAT BY YOURSELF, OR OTHERWISE
YOU CAN ALWAYS GET THE BIG
CANAL TOUR BOATS.
>> IF YOU'VE SEEN ALL THE CANALS
INSIDE THE OLD CITY,
YOU GO OUTSIDE OF TOWN,
YOU GO TO SEE THE IJ.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PART
OF AMSTERDAM, I THINK.
>> I'D LOVE TO BE CRUISING
THE CANALS ON A BOAT,
BUT THE NEXT BEST THING
IS SITTING ON A TERRACE
NEXT TO THE CANAL.
WE LAND AT A 17th-CENTURY
LOCK KEEPER'S HOUSE
IN THE OLD JEWISH NEIGHBORHOOD.
>> THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE
OLD SPOTS.
>> YEAH.
>> SLUYSWACHT.
IT COULDN'T BE NICER.
>> YEAH, IT'S A GOOD LITTLE
CORNER.
>> THANK YOU.
>> CONTINUING OUR TOUR OF DUTCH
GASTRONOMIC TRADITIONS,
WE ORDERED BORRELHAPJES,
ALSO KNOWN AS BAR SNACKS,
TYPICALLY CHEESE BLOCKS
AND SAUSAGE.
HERE, LIVERWURST AND RAW BEEF
SAUSAGE, SERVED WITH UBIQUITOUS
AND DELICIOUS MUSTARD DIP.
AND FINALLY, IF THERE'S ONE
THING YOU HAVE TO EAT HERE
IN HOLLAND, IT'S THIS,
BITTERBALLEN.
SOME DESCRIBE IT AS DEEP-FRIED
BALLS OF A SORT OF MEAT RAGU.
I DESCRIBE IT AS THE GREATEST
THING I'VE EVER EATEN.
AND THE SECRET OF THE
BITTERBALLEN IS IT'S JUST A
SLIGHTLY SMALLER CROQUETTE.
I'M SURE IT'S SOMEONE
WITH A REFINED PALATE.
IT'S LIKE THE WAY I CAN'T TELL
A MERLOT FROM A PINOT NOIR.
>> RIGHT.
>> I'M SURE THAT SOMEONE COULD
TALK FOR HOURS ABOUT THE SUBTLE
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN
A BITTERBALLEN AND A CROQUETTE,
BUT TO ME IT'S JUST DEEP-FRIED
MEAT SAUCE.
>> WE HAVE OUR OWN SLANG.
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> THAT IS A LITTLE BIT
REAL AMSTERDAM SLANG,
AND AMSTERDAM STREET LANGUAGE.
I MEAN, IF YOU'RE WELL-BEHAVED
AND WELL-BRED,
YOU DON'T SAY THAT, BUT...
>> THE MISTAKE THAT TOURISTS
MAKE IS DOING
ALL THE TOURISTY THINGS.
>> IN THE SUMMER, THE CENTRUM IS
A LITTLE BIT LIKE DISNEYWORLD.
TAKE THE BACK ALLEYS
AND GO A LITTLE FURTHER
OFF THE CENTRUM.
>> GO TO THE MORE LOCAL BARS,
AND DON'T GO TO ALL
THE SUPER TOURIST SPOTS.
>> GET OUT OF THE TOWN, LIKE,
OFF THE BEATEN TRACK,
GO INTO AMSTERDAM-NORTH.
>> THIS LITTLE PART OF AMSTERDAM
IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE IJ,
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WATER.
>> THERE ARE CREATIVE
PEOPLE OUT THERE,
NICE RESTAURANTS,
AND YOU SHOULD GO THERE.
>> IF YOU HAVE TIME, HOP ON
THE FREE FERRY THAT CROSSES
OVER TO AMSTERDAM-NORTH.
LIKE BROOKLYN AND MANHATTAN,
AMSTERDAM-NORTH IS THE UP
AND COMING HIPSTER SPOT,
WHERE AN OLD INDUSTRIAL AREA
IS NOW HOME TO TRENDY
RESTAURANTS LIKE
THE HOTEL DE GOUDFAZANT.
NOT ACTUALLY A HOTEL, DESPITE
THE NAME, BUT A RECONSTITUTED
WAREHOUSE DECORATED WITH VINTAGE
CARS, BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS "HIP"
LIKE A RESTAURANT CALLED
A HOTEL WITH CARS IN IT.
ANOTHER THING YOU MIGHT WANT
TO DO--TAKE IN SOME COMEDY.
>> A NICE PLACE TO GO TO
IN AMSTERDAM IS A PLACE
FOR ENGLISH-SPEAKING PEOPLE,
IS BOOM CHICAGO.
BEER, LAUGHTER, GEZELLIG.
>> THE BOOM CHICAGO THEATER.
THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN
FOR JOSH AND I.
WELL, NOT HERE EXACTLY.
THIS IS THE NEW THEATER.
AFTER 20 YEARS
ON THE LEIDSEPLEIN,
BOOM CHICAGO MOVED
TO THE ROZENTHEATER,
WHICH IS MUCH BIGGER
THAN THE OLD LOCATION.
SEEING IT MAKES ME WISH WE WERE
PERFORMING IN THIS SPACE
WHEN I WAS HERE.
STILL, IT'S GREAT TO SEE OLD
FRIENDS, AND REVIVE SOME OLD,
ILL-ADVISED TRADITIONS.
>> YOU'VE GOT TO LOOK
IN THE EYES OF EVERYONE.
>> AND THEN LOOK IN THE EYES
OF YOUR OWN REFLECTION
THE NEXT MORNING, AND ASK "WHY?"
>> [LAUGHS]
>> ANDREW MOSKOS,
OUR DEAR FRIEND, AND THE FATHER
OF OUR BUDDY FINN,
CO-FOUNDED BOOM CHICAGO IN 1993.
PERFORMING HERE FOR 20 YEARS,
WHAT'S YOUR TAKE
ON DUTCH AUDIENCES?
>> DUTCH AUDIENCES,
THEY WILL TELL YOU
THEY DON'T LIKE THE SHOW.
THAT IS THE TRUTH.
AFTER THE SHOW, PEOPLE COME UP
TO YOU, BUY YOU A DRINK,
"I DID NOT LIKE YOUR SHOW.
>> RIGHT.
BUT THEY OFTEN,
MORE OFTEN THAN NOT,
THEY DO LIKE THE SHOW, RIGHT?
>> THEY LIKE THE SHOW.
THE DUTCH PEOPLE LIKE IT BEST
ACTUALLY WHEN WE TALK
ABOUT DUTCH PEOPLE, AND THAT'S
WHAT THIS NEW SHOW IS.
>> I'VE BEEN HERE ONCE BEFORE,
BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
JOSH SEES THE NEW THEATER.
GREAT, RIGHT?
>> OH, WOW.
>> SO THIS IS THE PLACE TO COME
FOR COMEDY IN AMSTERDAM.
I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A FITTING
PLACE TO WRAP IT UP.
I MEAN, THIS IS WHY WE WERE
IN AMSTERDAM IN THE FIRST PLACE,
JUST TO--
>> YEAH.
>> I HOPE PEOPLE WHO WATCH
WILL LEARN SOMETHING FROM
OUR TWO DAYS IN AMSTERDAM.
>> UH, I'M SURE THEY HAVE.
>> JUST ENJOY BEING LAID BACK.
>> DON'T WORRY ABOUT
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON.
>> IF IT'S SUNNY,
DON'T DO ANYTHING.
STOP EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE,
BECAUSE YOU MIGHT JINX IT.
>> YEAH, WELL, DON'T--
IF YOU'RE INSIDE, GO OUTSIDE.
>> RIGHT, BUT IF YOU'RE OUTSIDE,
AND IT'S SUNNY, JUST STAND
PERFECTLY STILL.
>> FIND YOUR WAY TO A CAFE.
HAVE A COFFEE, HAVE A BEER.
>> TAKE A BOAT RIDE.
>> TAKE A BOAT RIDE.
>> SEE THE CITY.
>> RENT THAT BIKE.
GOT TO RENT THAT BIKE.
>> RENT A BIKE, AND KNOW
HOW TO GO FAST WHEN YOU NEED
TO GO FAST, AND GO SLOW
WHEN YOU NEED TO GO SLOW.
JUST GOING SLOW
IS NOT THE ANSWER.
>> RIGHT.
>> THERE'S A RESPONSIBILITY,
AND PART OF THAT
IS KNOWING WHEN TO SPEED UP
AND WHEN TO SLOW DOWN.
IT'S THE SAME AS DRIVING.
>> FIND YOUR WAY TO VONDELPARK.
>> WE DIDN'T GO TO ANY MUSEUMS,
BUT THERE ARE GREAT MUSEUMS.
>> YOU SHOULD.
PETANQUE, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND
PLAYING PETANQUE.
IF POSSIBLE, WITH A LOCAL
HIP-HOP STAR.
>> YEAH.
>> SO WE SHOULD GIVE PEOPLE SOME
DUTCH WORDS THEY NEED TO KNOW.
I'LL GIVE THEM THE SIMPLE ONES,
YOU GIVE THEM THE HARDER ONES.
>> OKAY.
>> "JA," THAT'S YOUR "YES."
>> "GEZELLIG" IS "COZY,"
"HOW NICE."
>> "NEE," "NO."
>> "EIGENAARDIG," "STRANGE."
>> I THINK WITH THOSE 4 WORDS,
YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD.
>> YEAH.
[SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> I THINK I CAN TRANSLATE.
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]
>> "I'M JOSH MEYERS, AND IT'S
BEEN REALLY FUN TO BE WITH YOU
GUYS FOR TWO DAYS."
>> [SPEAKING DUTCH]