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Hi this is Roslyn from Husband and Wife and I’m here to help you get more of what you
need from your husband. Today’s segment is called answer with a yes. When we have
difficulties in our marriages we often look for advice. One of the best pieces of advice
I can offer for any relationship came from an experiment I tried a long time ago. I often
need to revisit this advice and apply it to my own marriage. The original experiment was
to answer with a “yes” every question that anyone asked me during a 24-hour period.
I originally tried this concept out when my first two kids were little because I felt
like my relationship with them was not as positive as it should be. I was tired of saying
“No” all day long. And I felt like every question they asked me had to be answered
in a negative. “Can I have a cookie?” “No, you haven’t
eaten your lunch yet” “Can we go outside and play?” “No, we
have to clean up the toys now.” “Can I drive the car?” “No, you are
too little.” “Can you help me with this puzzle mom?”
“No, I have to feed the baby and fold the laundry.”
So in an effort to improve my relationship with them I tried to answer everything they
asked me in a positive way. “Can I have a cookie?” became “YES,
as soon as you are finished with your lunch!” “Can we go outside and play?” “YES,
right after we pick up these toys!” “Can I drive the car?” “YES, when you
have a driver’s license!” “Can you help me with this puzzle?” “YES,
do you want to help me feed the baby and fold these things so we can get started right away?”
This was a simple change that made a big difference in my relationship with my kids. And I thought
it was interesting that it also made an impact on my relationship with my husband! As I got
better at responding in a positive way to my babies, I found I could do the same thing
in my marriage. When my husband asked me, “Hey Can you please get my watch fixed for
me?” I could respond, “Yes, I will be near the jeweler on Tuesday, I can take it
in then.” Instead of, “Are you kidding me? I’m not driving all the way down there
today!” Or, If my husband asked, “Can you iron my shirt?” “Sure, I’m helping
the kids with their homework right now, but if you’ll help them finish, I can do that
right now.” Instead of, “No! Can’t you see I’m helping the kids with their fractions?”
Of course, there are some questions from either your kids or your husband that there is just
no way around a big fat “NO”. I have found however, that they are the exception. I refer
to this little epiphany as “Answer with a YES” And it’s a great positive step
to change a marriage or any other relationship. Just this morning, I was thinking that I needed
to practice this little epiphany because I felt like I was in a negative rut again. And
my husband gave me the perfect opportunity. The kids had just left for school, so I picked
up my gym bag and was headed out the door when my husband called down from upstairs,
“Can you give me a ride to the auto shop in about 40 minutes? My truck is done and
I need to go pick it up” Being the imperfect wife that I am, I responded to my husband
with, “No, I’m out the door to the gym and in 40 minutes I will be right in the middle
of lifting weights!” He said, “Okay, I’ll work something else out.” I grabbed my water
bottle and then remembered what I had just reminded myself of this morning when writing
for husband and wife…to answer with a yes. So I went upstairs. “Let me try that again”
I said.to my husband. How about I do some cardio here while you finish up, then I’ll
drop you off at the auto shop and then go to the gym and lift weights.” My husband
smiled, and said, “Thanks, that would be great!” A simple thing. I changed my schedule
a little bit. The shop is on the way to the gym so it wasn’t that big of a deal. But
it meant a great deal to my husband. Answer with a yes. Try it and see what a big difference
it will make in your husband and wife relationship.
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