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If I was in charge, and one man was killing every single soldier I sent to kill him, I
would try something else. Hell, I could be a general, I have enough combat experience
by now. I'm going to sing about it, they can't stop me. Ahem.
I am the very model of a modern-major general, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral.
I know the kings of England and can quote the fights historical, from Marathon to Waterloo,
in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both
the simple and quadratical. About binomial theorem, I'm teeming with a
lot of news, with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. WHERE'S MY CHORUS?!
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings
animalculous. In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern-major general.
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's, I answer hard acrostics, I've
a pretty taste for paradox. I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabulus,
in conics, I can floor peculiarities parabolous. Y'know, this song is kinda dated. It's supposed
to be MODERN major-general. I'm going to add a new verse.
I can fire at a target, and it hit it atleast half the the time, or graph out an electron
path while using numbers prime. I calculate the fall rate of a bullet
shot a thousand yards, and perforate the thick heads of a hundred military
guards.
I can make a simulation of an atom bomb and build one, too, or flank a dozen men and ambush
ten of them out of the blue. From SMGs to RPGs, I carry quite an
arsenal, and skip around a war zone like a subatomic particle.
STILL NO CHORUS! Okay, C'mon, sing and I won't kill you. Those of you that are left, I mean...
Ah! Okay, There we go.
Every soldier out here wants to kill me for my curiosity, I wage war on the whole damn
world because of my tenacity. In matters combat, tactical and physics theoretical, I am the
very model of a modern-major general.
Alright, no one else is even TRYING to sing along, I quit.