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(jazzy music)
A: Hi, Fran! Just wanted to remind you that rent's due today.
F: Oh, yeah. I already put in the, uh, rent box that you made with your own
hands and... time.
A: Thanks! Gaby never remembers the rent box. Or the rent.
F: Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that.
A: I know, I'm sorry... I tried to convince her to drive Lyft to make some
extra money but she's worried about her *** magnetism...
F: I think we should ask Gaby to move out.
A: What?! We can't do that, I'm in charge of when she showers.
F: It's what she wants. She can't afford a place like this, she's
just too proud to admit it.
A: How do you know that-- G: What are you guys talking about?
A: Nothing! M: You.
G: So, cat's out of the bag, huh? A: It was Fran's idea.
G: I know, she told me this morning. Are you actually into it?
A: Are you? F: Great! So we're all settled then.
G: Do you want me to help you pack? A: What? Oh. I guess I should be the one
to pack your things because I know how to roll clothes into tubes for space
efficiency. G: My things? No, I was gonna help you
pack your things. Or, you know, sit next to you supportively and watch you do it.
F: Yeah, I also talked to Gabby this morning. We think you're too particular to
have roommates, and we think you'd be happiest if you lived alone.
A: I can't live alone! Who's gonna find me when I die?
G: Wait, so I'm not keeping you from your dream of living in a studio apartment next
to a man-made lake? A: Ew! No, I hate lakes.
F: Ok, look, let's stop being polite. Both of you are extremely unhappy living
together because of the other's habits. So, one of you has to move out. Plus, I
mean the place is just getting way too crowded for Allen.
A: *** Allen!
Allen: Can you guys fight somewhere else? Conflict upsets my intestines.
G: This is our home, Allen. Don't you have your own home?
F: Yeah, but his place doesn't have AC. Plus, we like spending every night
together. A: Well, why don't you just get your own
place somewhere else with Allen? (Allen spits into cup)
A: Yeah. Gaby and I need to live together for the show.
Allen and F: What show?
Both: Ugh. G: Our Youtube show, that we film here
twice a week to great critical acclaim. F: First time hearing about this.
Allen: Is that why you guys have an ugly sign over there?
A: Fran, it's been lovely having you here, but if you wanna be with Allen all the
time, you need to get your own place. F: Fine. Allen and I will behave like
mature adults and move in together while you two vlog like children to other
children. A: I am not a vlogger! It is scripted
content. A: Whatever! Come on, Allen. Let's go buy
a condo. Allen: Well, Fran, I don't know if I'm
ready for that level of commitment. A, G, and F: *** YOU, ALLEN!
Allen: Fair enough. (jazzy music)
G: I can't believe we ever had a third roommate.
A: I know, it's almost like she was never here.
F: Can I get my security deposit back in cash?
A and G: No!
Subtitles by the Amara.org community