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This song is dedicated to a certain kind of people.... Which just so happens to be my favorite
kind of people. You know… the ones that… you know, when
you’re standing next to them, and all of a sudden it gets dark… I mean, your best
friend is… you know what I’m saying, right? Yeah.
Black people I'ma steal your shoes
You better hide your wallet Cuz I'ma take that too
Black people Hey
Black people One big family,
With a really big bucket of KFC
Black people (Seriously, like all of us are related)
I ran into an old amigo named Juan Luis The Mexican called me Apple cause we both
hang from trees Now I, I kinda took that in a joking way
But was he talking bout monkeys or the ***?
We don't get sunburnt, just ashy knees And we don't chew tobacco
But we will smoke weed Puff, puff, pass like the train that could,
And we can’t spell neighbor, so we call it the hood
And most of us will die with our finger on the trigger
I guess that's why they say I'm just a filthy little spear-chucking, chicken-eating, melon
sucking, lone fetus, weed-smoking, long ***.... well, you get the picture.
They tried to keep us out the White House again
But just like all white houses, one of us broke in.
And welfare and diapers is all we got If you don't wear my favorite color then you
might get shot… (My favorite color is purple, by the way…..)
A black woman came to me to bash my song I told her, “All Blacks are Democrat, now
prove me wrong."
Black people I'ma steal your shoes
You better hide your wallet Cuz I'ma take that too
Black people Hey
Black People One big family,
With a really big bucket of KFC
Black people (And it doesn’t have to be KFC, we like
Popeye’s biscuits too)
Hey, Hey.
(What’s a black song without any rap in it, right?)
Yo, Check It, Unh, Yo, Yo, Yo
(it always starts off that way, right?)
Yo
Now, there’s a line between discriminating and not in different places
You are if you use the N-word, but if you're black then you’re not racist,
I mean, well, I guess you can, just not around your black friends,
You’ll get jumped by every cousin, including the one behind that trash can,
Now, let me tell you a story, back before America was stolen,
There were two tribes of black people, the Indians and the Po Ones,
The Indians were like caramel, the Po One’s were like sharpies,
I guess that’s why they call them Pilgrims, and why they call us Darkies.
The Indians had all the horses, land, turkeys, the geniuses
The Po One’s killed their horses, took their hair and their penises,
But uh..there’s not really a moral to this story though,
Except that we will steal your goodies, and that is how the story goes.
Black people I'ma steal your shoes
You better hide your wallet Cuz I'ma take that too
Black people Hey
Black People One big family,
With a really big bucket of KFC
Black people
Black People Since ’72,
Going broke making cheap cars taller than you
Black people Ok, you gotta admit, we do have some nice rims though, right?
Black people Front Porch monkey
With a blunt and a banana, “Ooo Aaa, Eee-eee!" Black people
Hey, hey!
(This is probably the most racist song I’ve ever written….but if you laughed, you’re
racist too. So I don’t feel so bad. Besides, it’s not racist if I’m black.)