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narrator: Tonight...
We honor the unsinkable
human spirit.
20 thrillseekers...
unafraid to face danger head-on.
man: That'll really impress
the beach bunnies.
narrator: From catching big air
to the rockets' red glare...
commentator: Uh-oh !
woman: Oh, man !
That's gotta hurt.
announcer: The hits
keep on coming.
Featuring commentary from our
cast of adrenaline junkies.
Leif: Hell, yeah !
Anything to do with drugs !
narrator: truTV presents
"World's Dumbest Thrillseekers."
And it begins...
now.
commentator: Woo !
Closed Captions Provided by truTV
narrator: Today is
Garrett Gilmore's first day ever
jumping off a ramp.
commentator: Woo !
Yeah !
Loni: Oh, he's good !
narrator: Flushed with success,
Garrett goes for the big one.
commentator: Oh, yeah,
this is easy !
( coughing )
Danny: What a surprise.
His first day of dirt-bike
jumping went just like
everyone else's.
commentator: Woo-hoo !
Yeah, I'm a natural !
( coughing )
Billy: What goes through your
mind in midair when these guys
realize they're not
gonna make it ?
commentator: Woo !
Billy: Hey, I'm gonna be on
"World's Dumbest" !
At last--
commentator: Agh !
( coughing )
My arm...
My arm.
Frank: Yes, we did get it
on film.
You look like ( bleep )
Your arm's broken.
man: Yeah, yeah, this was
my first time on the ramps.
Why do you ask ?
man: Dude, totally wave
to the camera !
No, use your bad arm.
It'll be hilarious.
Ted: Sadly, less than I'm
getting, sitting in this chair
calling you a moron.
narrator: Garrett is taken to
the hospital and treated
for his injuries.
commentator: I'm a winner !
( coughing )
Bryan: And that's how a lot of
guys who jump motorbikes
get started.
commentator: It ain't as hard
as it looks !
Bryan: Oh, and end up.
commentator: Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
narrator: In search of a new
thrill, these Belgian daredevils
sand down their shoes and glide
across slippery surfaces.
man: What's with
the belt sander ?
It's called gym socks
and a hardwood floor.
commentator: Whoa !
Oh !
Here I come !
Loni: Man, we need to send some
video games over there
in Belgium.
commentator: Take a bow !
Right behind you !
Kevin: Guys, we don't care
how many times you slide
on a Ping-Pong table,
we're not admitting this event
to the X Games.
commentator: The last one
is the best one !
Oh !
Aw !
Tonya: Dude !
Man, I was gonna ( bleep )
play !
Hello !
commentator: I'm on fire !
Mike: That is how you make
a Belgian waffle right there.
commentator: Hot stuff !
man: Is this how they play
doubles in Belgium ?
( rim shot )
commentator: Wait for me !
Ooh !
Uh !
Kevin: So he loses the point,
right ?
( rim shot )
commentator: I'm awesome !
Ooh !
Ugh !
Danny: Ping-Pong ?
More like Ping-wrong !
( boos and jeers )
Ping-Pong, Ping-wrong.
commentator: It's not
that funny !
I hurt my head.
I hurt my head.
( whistling )
Michael: Really ?
Did that kid just do that ?
( whistling )
The whistling walk-away ?
Very rare indeed.
( whistling )
Chelsea: Oh, man, this is fun.
Is there anything else
to do here ?
Anything ?
Nothing ?
commentator: Belgians
are number one !
Oh !
narrator: Amateur BMX rider
Fat Tony attempts a trick
for a stunt video.
Kevin: If your nickname's
"Fat Tony," you shouldn't be
riding anything but a bus.
( bus horn honking )
commentator: Come on !
John: Do it again !
Worst-case scenario, you go
face-first into that wall.
commentator: Come on,
you got this, you got this !
Oh !
John: Or the ground.
commentator: Oh !
Oh !
Oh !
Oh !
Loni: Ooh !
Roger: That is so weird.
Usually cement is so much more
giving than that.
Chuck: When you fall and don't
make a sound,
and none of your friends laugh,
it's serious.
Billy: Did he have that giant
shnoz beforehand,
or is that just swelling ?
Mike: As ( bleep ) as he was
at riding that bike,
that's how ( bleep ) they are
at dealing with his injuries.
It's just like, "Oh, no !
You are ( bleep )-up-looking,
man."
Brad: Guys, how do I look ?
I taste pennies.
Todd: No, it wouldn't have
done anything,
just maybe saved his face.
narrator: Tony is rushed to
the ER where X-rays reveal
a fractured skull.
man: I'm fine,
it's just my skull and face.
narrator: But a few weeks later,
the story has a happy ending.
Tony's contacted by a girl
who saw photos of the accident
online.
Chris: He got a woman
from this ?
Wow, there is a fetish for
everyone.
woman: I'm so glad we found
each other, honey.
Oh, you're bleeding on me !
Oh, that's so cute.
commentator: Ah !
Oh !
narrator: Coming up,
a ninja flails...
commentator: Aw !
man: Oh, damn.
Loni: What kind of ninja
can't even get out of a web ?
narrator: ... A balloonist
fails...
( man screaming )
commentator: No, no !
Oof !
man: ( bleep )damn cactus is
what got me.
narrator: ... And a snowboarder
bails.
Brad: That's not snowboarding,
it's a desperate cry for help.
narrator: Good thing we've got
First Aid.
( man screaming )
Tonya: Shut up, you wussy.
( continues screaming )
narrator: When "World's Dumbest
Thrillseekers" continues.
narrator: Thrillseekers from
around the country attend
a boot camp near Santa Cruz
for some intensive training
in the art of...
man: Awesome !
narrator: ... being a ninja.
Judy: Oh, I get it !
So this is like ninja camp
for nerds !
commentator: Climbing like
a ninja !
Ah !
Leif: I thought this was all,
like, a secret society, ninjas.
Not like, you know,
hey, what are you doing
this summer ?
You can be an idiot like
Danny Bonaduce.
man: Get back up here.
One more.
Chuck: I'm sorry, but
black nerds are just so cute.
Aren't they ?
man: Ow !
John: Where'd he get
that outfit from ?
Patti LaBelle ?
narrator: One highlight of
the ninja obstacle course
is the pipe slider.
Mike: Pipe slider ?
Is Brad Loekle there ?
commentator: Oh !
Got it !
Oh !
man: Oh, damn !
Loni: Uh-oh,
got his foot caught.
What kind of ninja can't even
get out of a web ?
commentator: Got it !
Oh !
man: Oh, damn.
Uh, you want a hand there ?
Hey, that's the exact same way
my foot was caught in Japan.
You remember ?
Daniel: Same here.
Though I had to tip my geisha
extra afterwards.
( rim shot )
Chelsea: Tell us more stories
about your trip to Japan.
man: You all right ?
man: I'm okay.
All right, that's enough
of that today.
Billy: Whenever I see people
doing, like, martial arts
or ninja stuff,
I just think, I could take 'em
all out with my gun.
commentator: Oh !
Got it !
Aw !
man: Oh, damn !
commentator: Oh !
Sneaky !
narrator: After three years of
preparation and a $1 million
investment, pilots *** Rutan
and Dave Melton are aiming to be
the first to circumnavigate
the globe in a hot-air balloon.
commentator: We're gonna do it !
We're going all the way !
Frank: There's something that's
so uncool about a balloon.
It's like a big ***
in the air.
narrator: But just two hours
into what would be
a three-week journey,
the balloon tears...
commentator: No !
narrator: ... 11,000 feet
over New Mexico.
Danny: Before you take off
to circle the world,
why don't you make sure
you can circle New Mexico ?
Tonya: Oh !
No, no !
Brad: Tonya,
you're weighing us down.
Not just the balloon, the show.
commentator: We're out of here !
Thanks for nothing !
Michael: I wanted to get in some
parachuting while I wasted
millions of dollars.
commentator: Damnit !
Mike: That's why hot-air
balloon's not a viable form
of transportation.
No one does it !
narrator: The expert parachute
landing doesn't quite go
as planned either.
commentator: Oh, no, no,
please, no, no !
Oof !
It's on my face.
In my face.
man: What is this,
like a Road Runner cartoon ?
Who runs into cactuses
these days, anyway ?
woman: What a ***.
That's what his helmet said.
Chuck: The safest course
maybe for you, buddy.
So you left a floating time bomb
in the sky ?
narrator: The balloon eventually
lands in Texas.
Fortunately, no one is injured.
Bryan: Balloons are so much fun
when they're little,
when they're little.
When they grow up,
they're dangerous.
narrator: Ben is about to
risk it all in Lake Tahoe.
He's attempting to attract
corporate sponsorship
by snowboarding off a nearly
vertical retaining wall.
Daisy: Finally, one of these
idiots has a good video camera.
Thank you.
Jaime: Countdown to injury !
commentator: Oh !
Oh !
Oh !
Danny: That guy has
a lot of stones.
Unfortunately, they're all
sticking into his back.
( rim shot )
Brad: You jumped off a wall
onto a road.
That's not snowboarding,
it's a desperate cry for help.
Kevin: Yeah.
I kind of can't breathe anymore,
but that's normal, right ?
Tonya: You're lucky that's all
that happened to you, ***.
Oh, my God !
Hello !
Michael: Oh !
I knocked my breath out.
This is crazy.
I want this kid to go watch
Fat Tony.
commentator: Ugh !
Ah !
Michael: Look at ( bleep )
Fat Tony's face !
commentator: Ugh !
Ah !
Ah !
narrator: Stu is a stunt cyclist
in Indianapolis.
He is about to attempt what's
known as a tank-stoppie.
Kevin: If you're an adult, you
should never be doing anything
called a "tank-stoppie."
Daisy: He did a tank-stoppie !
Which is when a rider stops his
bike by having it land
on top of him.
commentator: Ah !
( bleep )
Ah !
My knee !
Michael: Tank stoppie,
road hurty.
Knee owwie.
commentator: Ah, my knee !
Just stay down for
a minute, man.
Yeah.
Kevin: I think staying down
is the one part of this
he's mastered.
Judy: Okay, that's called
skin and hair.
man: Damn !
I think I see daylight poking
out from the other side
of his leg !
narrator: Stu is taken back to
a friend's house for treatment.
man: When do you trust your
friends in that situation ?
Your bone is showing.
Let me get Diane.
She flunked out of
nurses' school.
( Stu screaming )
Tonya: Shut up, you wussy.
( Stu screaming )
Hang on, this'll only hurt
just for a second.
Brad: You just gonna pour that
peroxide right on
the open wound ?
That's nice.
( Stu screaming )
Were there no lemons available,
or salt ?
( laughter )
Jaime: The suffering of friends
is pretty funny.
( laughter )
Mike: Can we stop with
the tricks on your bikes ?
Just drive your motorcycle
point "A" to point "B" if you
have to drive a motorcycle to
begin with, you ***( bleep ).
commentator: Oh...
narrator: Coming up...
This guy loses face.
commentator: Oh !
Brad: Could you kill yourself
someplace else, please ?
narrator: This guy
loses his pants.
commentator: Wait !
My pants, wait !
Jaime: Ooh, I see his machismo,
all right.
Ooh !
narrator: And this guy loses
a battle with gravity.
Kevin: This really would help
ski resorts become more
hilarious.
narrator: Then later...
A fat fellow fails
to follow instructions.
man: I don't want you
to hurt your neck.
commentator: Hell yeah !
narrator: When "World's Dumbest
Thrillseekers" continues.
narrator: The acrobatic urban
art form known as parkour.
Jacob here is a parkour fanatic.
Brad: Didn't we stop needing
skills like this when we stopped
climbing trees
and swinging from vines ?
commentator: One more !
Yeah, man.
Just one !
Mike: Take your ( bleep )
Ritalin and stop jumping off
the walls, you little ( bleep ).
narrator: Today, he brings his
moves to the beach.
commentator: Hey, ladies !
Ja, that was cool.
Chuck: I don't think
anybody's impressed.
Is anybody impressed ?
commentator: Check out
the air show !
Ha ha !
That was definitely cool !
One more time !
Leif: You did it !
Leave it alone.
commentator: I should charge
you all admission !
Maybe not.
Tonya: Oh, man.
That's got to hurt !
commentator: I will not
be alone tonight !
Oof !
Yes, I will.
Daniel: Nice faceplant, Hamlet.
That'll really impress
the beach bunnies.
commentator: I am king of
Denmark !
Oof !
Brad: Hey, hey, with the sand !
Could you kill yourself
someplace else, please ?
narrator: The stunt temporarily
lands Jacob in a neck brace,
but he's still looking forward
to doing more parkour.
Mike: What's up, ladies ?
You see me earlier ?
Judy: Really ?
Mike: Did you see the ones
I didn't hurt myself on ?
Yeah, that's how they most go.
Judy: I'm gay, okay ?
commentator: The Earth
is my playground !
Oof !
No, it's not.
Nope.
Daniel: Good evening.
When I'm not acting, I spend my
time practicing the sport of
corrida de toros...
or bullfighting.
The bull is a fierce competitor.
Even professional matadors
cannot always face
their advances.
commentator: All right, bull !
All right !
Oh, no, wait !
No, wait !
Judy: Ow !
Daniel: Even an injured baby
bull can expose the inadequacies
of amateur toreros.
Observe this festival
in Costa Rica.
commentator: Hey, bull !
Hey !
Hey, hey !
Show me what you got !
Oh !
No, bull !
Not my pants !
Wait !
Ooh !
Oh, he lost his pantalones !
Mike: It's one thing to get
attacked by a bull,
but to be molested.
Show me on the doll where
the bull touched you !
commentator: No, bull !
Wait, my pants !
Wait !
I'm not a cape, man !
That was awful !
( man speaking Spanish )
Kevin: Maybe the priority
should be, like saving his life.
And then worry about covering up
his junk.
Daniel: The fighter suffers
a concussion and a serious blow
to his manhood.
Every matador
must have machismo.
At this bachelor party in Spain,
first-timer Stefan shows his
by going without pants
from the start !
commentator: I'm ready
for the bull.
Okay, here we go.
Leif: I want to go fight this
bull naked.
Maybe he'll see my sword
and run away.
commentator: Olé, bull !
Olé !
Oh !
That wasn't fun.
That wasn't-- that wasn't--
that wasn't fun.
You done, you done ?
Okay, good effort, man.
Thanks, man.
Brad: You should never take your
pants off in front of a bull,
'cause you will lose
in that contest, my friend.
commentator: Oh !
Daniel: In addition to losing
his hair...
commentator: My toupee !
My toupee !
Daniel: Stefan loses his
self-respect.
Stefan: I just want to stop
being me.
Chelsea: Do it !
I did, ten years ago.
Daniel: That's all the advice
I have time to give.
My services are required
to subdue a fiery beast.
( dog whimpering )
Arriba, arriba !
narrator: A Norwegian inventor
invites the press
to view his brainchild--
the ski coaster, a crudely
fashioned loop-de-loop
placed in the middle of a slope.
Brad: Looks like he built that
out of a Hot Wheels racetrack.
commentator: Here we go.
Okay.
Come on, now.
Big money, big money !
Oh !
Chelsea: Do you guys want to do
a test run of our new product ?
Nah, why ?
What could go wrong ?
commentator: I'm going to be
famous !
Here we go !
Ah !
Ted: Finally, an invention for
people who haven't been able to
tear ligaments
while simply skiing.
Leif: I'm embarrassed that it
was a Norwegian person
who came up with this.
commentator: I'll be the envy
of Norway !
narrator: He removes his coat
to reduce wind resistance
and tries again.
Mike: Oh, yeah, you can do this,
you just have to take off your
jacket that everyone wears
when they ski.
commentator: Okay.
Here we go !
Relax !
You got this !
It's all yours !
Chuck: Isn't it funny that
sometimes a man's dreams
can be crushed by something
as small as gravity ?
commentator: Okay, third time's
a charm !
Ow !
Judy: Let's face it.
It doesn't ( bleep ) work,
okay ?
commentator: Come on, focus !
Kevin: This really would help
ski resorts become more
hilarious.
commentator: Oh !
Oh !
Oh !
narrator: The upbeat
press conference the inventor
hoped for is not forthcoming.
Brad: What's next ?
Maybe create
like a ski catapult ?
Just hurls skiers up onto
the mountain and their
eventual death.
commentator: This is it !
This is it !
Oh !
No !
narrator: Coming up...
A case of whip... rash.
( Judy laughing )
Then...
commentator: Oh !
Mike: And a lucky fan
gets a souvenir !
Hooray !
narrator: And...
John: Look at the elbow.
The elbow's going out !
It's going out !
narrator: Circus thrills
gone bad.
John: Bye-bye !
narrator: Plus, a human fly
gets swatted.
commentator: Ahh !
Danny: And that's why flies
don't ride motorcycles.
narrator: When "World's Dumbest
Thrillseekers" continues.
Rick: Oh, what's up, man ?
Rick the Brick here.
narrator: Rick the Brick, also
known as California limo driver
Chris Bensberg.
Rick: Get these bad boys.
These things are called
Trapezius.
Leif: Awesome bod, bro.
Tonya: You think
you're all that ?
Us women out there
just think you're a complete
( bleep ) dork.
Rick: Shoulder press,
shoulder press !
Back lat, back lat !
Danny: Why isn't this guy called
"Rick the ***" ?
Daniel: Rick the Brick.
I'd like to stick him in a kiln
and fire it up to about 400°.
Rick: What I'm gonna do today
is I'm gonna show you how
I get so beautifully trim.
( whistle )
Brad: Wow, this may be
the gayest thing I've ever seen,
and I do stuff with dudes.
Jaime: When you're being towed,
you don't have to exert energy.
Is that the joke ?
Kevin: I'm just really impressed
he was able to find
Rollerblades this century.
man: Watch the jump,
watch the jump !
No, we got it, we got it !
( Judy laughing )
John: This is guaranteed for you
to lose fat, if you don't mind
scraping it off on pavement.
Rick: I'm made of steel.
Rick the Brick is not a failure.
Let's keep at it.
Kevin: See how he stayed in
character even after
he crashed ?
He's a method ***.
Rick: Rick the Brick's
a little scraped up.
That's all right, I'll survive.
Red, white and blue, baby.
Frank: You know, Rick.
I know my brother wore these
in a movie,
but I think it's a little
disrespectful to be farting on
the stars and stripes.
What do you think ?
narrator: A sidecar race in
Kent, England, is underway.
commentator: Hold on there !
Tight corner, tight corner !
Hold on !
I know !
We've got this !
I hope so !
They are gaining, you know ?
They're gaining.
Mike: Bikes with sidecars are
for fighting crime,
not racing one another !
commentator: We'll never catch
them at this rate.
I know.
Have you raised your behind
in the air ?
Yes ?
More !
Brad: How does one get the job
of being the passenger ?
Do you lose a bet ?
commentator: I'm telling you,
you're dragging us down !
I know.
Raise your buttocks !
I am !
Kevin: All right, guys,
you've heard of cars, right ?
You can, like, totally fit
two people in a car.
Any car, really.
commentator: Chauncey !
Yes ?
I say, we've got it !
Yes !
I can taste victory !
So can I !
Just keep your behind raised
and we'll be there in about--
Chauncey ?
Chauncey !
Oh !
Oopsie.
Mike: And a lucky fan
gets a souvenir, hooray !
commentator: Chauncey !
Where have you gone ?
Oh...
Daisy: He did it !
He was the first
to lose his passenger !
Well done.
Well done.
commentator: Why am I
off balance ?
Woo !
Chauncey ?
Bryan: You mean the rope barrier
didn't hold those fast-moving
steel machines ?
That's crazy.
commentator: Something's off !
Wait, get off !
No !
Danny: This is a great event
for stuntmen who kind of like
injuring themselves,
but really like injuring others.
Judy: Here they come.
Oh, look how fast they're going.
Ahh !
narrator: The driver suffers
a concussion and several
spectators are injured,
but no sidecars are harmed
during the race.
Ted: You know, it doesn't matter
if it's cars,
bikes or snowmobiles.
The best part of any motorsport
is when the vehicle careens into
the slack-jawed crowd.
commentator: We've got it,
Chauncey !
Chauncey ?
Ooh !
Ahh...
narrator: Members of the
official Taiwanese acrobat troop
prepare for the final stunt
of their show.
( drumroll )
( crowd "ahh"ing )
Tonya: That's why I like to
go to the circus.
I like seeing the animals
and stuff,
I think it's a little cruel,
but I like seeing the acrobats
and stuff like that.
It's really, really neat.
commentator: There you go !
There you go !
Brad: Let me tell you, that is
impressive, because I definitely
could not...
wear a white unitard in public.
commentator: Okay, here we go.
Oh !
Roger: Oh !
He was doing so well !
Michael: Luckily,
he broke his fall
with his face.
commentator: It's okay,
it's okay.
It's okay !
Mike: Ta-da !
Yeah !
Like we do it every night.
Leif: Nice job, Kwai Ling.
We were looking for
sponsorship here.
( bleep )
commentator: Okay, it's okay,
it's okay !
Todd: The government
congratulated Hong for
completing his routine,
then sold his organs on eBay.
commentator: It's okay,
it's okay !
narrator: In the 1970s,
Canadian daredevil
The Human Fly
was all the buzz in America.
In 1977, he returned to his
homeland and spent $250,000
promoting his newest stunt,
jumping 26 buses
on a souped-up motorcycle.
Daniel: Damn.
The Human Fly is pimping it !
narrator: But only 2,000 people
show up at the 66,000-seat
stadium in Montreal.
Mike: Danny Bonaduce
is able to draw more people
with his stupid freaking boxing
than The Human Fly.
Brad: Uh, yeah.
Basically, I've got no support
from the people of Canada
and I don't know why.
commentator: Okay, Canada !
You will take me for granted
no longer !
Woo !
Oh !
( coughing )
Loni: Wow, he missed it
by 15 buses.
Danny: And that's why flies
don't ride motorcycles.
commentator: I have returned
to my home country
to win your respect !
Woo !
Billy: As is appropriate for
a human fly, he wound up
splattered on a windshield.
commentator: Socialized
healthcare !
All right...
All right...
narrator: The Human Fly buzzes
off without major injuries.
He never attempts another jump.
Frank: I identify with the Fly.
Me !
I went to Australia.
The concert sold out
in four minutes.
Here, they don't even
buy me a ( bleep ) drink.
So don't put that flag behind me
anymore on the show.
( bleeps )
I don't like America anymore.
( bleep )
commentator: Proud to be...
Canadian.
narrator: Coming up...
man: Yo, that's too steep.
man: No, it's not.
narrator: Dumb on wheels...
Billy: Whoever said it was
too steep, uh,
they win the argument.
narrator: ... Dumb on skis...
Brad: Ah, skiing.
The number-one cause of death
amongst cold-weather Caucasians.
commentator: ... And dumb on...
Whatever the hell
those things are.
Ted: Run, Forrest, run !
Bleed, Forrest, bleed !
narrator: Plus, a biker takes
the short way home.
When "World's Dumbest
Thrill Seekers" continues.
narrator: As winter
turns to spring,
a group of ATV thrillseekers
make one last snow ramp.
Daisy: Congratulations, guys.
You've successfully teed up
a clip for "World's Dumbest."
narrator: First up is Jared.
commentator: Woo !
Billy: Whoever said it was
too steep, uh,
they win the argument.
commentator: Incoming, woo !
Danny: That's why you don't
trust snow ramps if there's
no other snow around.
Brad: Fine.
Here you go.
Jaime: This is the time you hope
to hear "Save him, Lassie,"
not "Get him, Shooter."
Michael: He's really hurt,
this guy.
Anybody care ?
Oh, squirrel !
I'll be back.
man: Sucks, dude.
commentator: So bad.
Nick: That looked like it hurt.
Hey, who's got a light ?
I think he might be bleeding
internally.
I don't give a--
Hey, are these menthol ?
narrator: Jared's friends
eventually take him
to the hospital
where he's diagnosed
with a ruptured spleen.
Bryan: Is that serious ?
Does it get in the way
of having fun ?
commentator: Springtime !
Ah...
Ah...
Daniel: Hey, Jared.
I know a guy
who can get a spleen.
Just say the word, there'll be
a red cooler in your driveway,
no questions asked.
Know what I mean ?
narrator: At an extreme ski
film shoot on Canada's
Whistler Mountain,
a thrillseeker waits
for his cue.
commentator: Action !
Woo !
Oh, yeah !
It's beautiful !
Woo !
Ah !
Ooh !
Loni: Whoa.
Whoa !
( grunting )
Ted: I'm confused.
Is the object to race your skis
down the hill ?
commentator: Help me !
Please, someone !
Kevin: What he didn't know is
that he was also filming
a slapstick comedy.
( cartoony sound effects )
Jaime: He looks like
a snowy pinwheel.
Mike: How many flips ?
Was there a count going ?
I lost count.
commentator: Woo !
No !
Ah !
Bryan: Ooh, ah.
Ooh, yeah.
Okay, try to tuck into a ball.
narrator: The skier suffers
a dislocated shoulder.
John: Ouch !
Ow !
Loni: Pop it in, baby,
pop that shoulder.
Pop, pop !
Rob: Now ( bleep )
ski some more !
Mike: You need to get out of
skiing and get into gymnastics.
If you can stick a landing
after all that,
you would send some
underdeveloped teenage girls
home crying.
commentator: Please don't...
Please !
Ah.
Great.
narrator: This Russian teen is
about to ride a motorcycle
for the first time.
The bike's owner warns him of
the grave dangers involved.
Leif: I had a motorcycle and I'm
not gonna let anybody on my bike
who doesn't know how to ride.
Daniel: Okay, so the left handle
does what again ?
commentator: Clutch, idiot.
Daniel: And the right one does ?
commentator: Gas !
Daniel: Look, I got it,
I got it.
Hop on, let's go.
commentator: Okay.
Concentrate.
Okay.
Don't mess up.
Chuck: I think the guy on
the back is dumber than the guy
on the front,
because he's a passenger
on a motorcycle lesson.
Frank: That's why the Russians
are dumb mother( bleep ).
commentator: Okay, no problem.
You ready ?
Whoa, whoa.
It's okay, it's okay, I got it.
Go slow, go slow.
Clutch !
Oh !
Oh !
Sorry !
Idiot !
Chris: Other than the dude
falling off, that was a pretty
good first turn.
commentator: Okay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa !
Okay, wait, brake !
Clutch !
Gas !
No, no gas !
Wait !
Jaime: Quick,
hide in the house !
commentator: Which is brake ?
Jaime: Oh.
That's not what I meant.
commentator: Slow down !
Please forgive me in advance !
Mike: Sorry, comrades !
I cannot take you with me.
This is between me
and that house.
commentator: Which is
off button ?
Daisy: It's the hands-up
that make it.
I give up !
( mock Russian )
Ted: I think he got on, realized
he was never gonna leave this
Russian wasteland
and decided to end it.
commentator: Slow, slow !
Just tell me how to stop !
Tell me how to stop, please !
Idiot !
Please !
narrator: A group of friends
in England have a new pair of
jumping stilts and are taking
turns racing the clock.
Tonya: Those are freaky-looking.
Kevin: I don't know a lot of
facts about jumping stilts.
I'm not sure racing's the thing
to be doing with 'em.
Ted: Run, Forrest, run !
Bleed, Forrest, bleed !
Mike: Go, go, go, go !
Oh, stop, stop, stop !
Oh !
Nick: Is that how you prove
who won this race ?
You walk away with a bumper
in your mouth ?
Kevin: Oh, man, I really hope
the owner of that car had
( bleep )-on-stilts insurance.
Danny: Hey, just 'cause you
didn't get hurt does not mean
that you're okay.
Leif: You ate it.
No, you need to be going
like this.
Chelsea: Congratulations !
You made great time !
I'm not wearing a watch, though.
Daisy: The British
are so sophisticated.
They already have the bionic
legs the *** will use
to hurt themselves
in the future.
man: Oh !
narrator: So far, 19 ***
daredevils have destroyed their
dignity, their property,
and their internal organs.
But only one of these boneheads
can ascend to the acme
of idiocy.
Meet the number-one dumbest
thrillseeker of all
right after this.
narrator: In a Michigan suburb,
neighbors take turns riding this
massive homemade water slide.
man: Oh, yeah !
Mike: That has to violate
some type of ordinance
or zoning situation.
Danny: All the fun of
a water park,
none of the chicks in swimsuits.
commentator: Next up, Brian.
Tonya: Well, dude--
Dude, don't do it.
Cameraman: I don't want you
to hurt your neck.
John: What neck ?
Did you look at the guy ?
He's got no ( bleep ) neck.
Danny: Guys, there's easier ways
to get Vicodin.
Ask Leif.
Leif: Hell yeah,
anything to do with drugs !
commentator: Oh, yeah !
( snoring )
Mike: They told you
not to hurt your neck.
Someone isn't a good listener.
commentator: Woo !
Uh-oh.
Ugh !
( snoring )
Jaime: How do you get knocked
out by an inflatable pool ?
It's like getting a black eye
from a balloon.
commentator: ( snoring )
Roger: When they cut the camera
directly on impact,
that's never good.
narrator: Brian suffers
a minor concussion,
but that doesn't put an end
to the water park.
Two days later, he's back at it.
man: Yeah !
man: And you're like, why ?
And then I remember,
for the Vicodin !
Cameraman: For the Vicodin.
( snoring )
That's why we do it.
Frank: Let's talk turkey, okay,
babe ?
Chuck: All right, here we go--
( snoring )
Frank: I don't wear a helmet,
'cause I look like ( bleep ).
I'm a style guy, so, ( bleep ).
Judy: "Dehh" !
Frank: What's with you ?
I told you not to take
the bag !
Kevin: Bravo.
Frank: I don't mind having--
being flambéed today, great.
Chuck: Good for you.
( raspberries )
Judy: That's great.
Frank: You're a dumb ( bleep )
unimaginative ***.
Mike: I'm outrageous !
Yeah, oh.
Frank: I went to Australia.
Concert sold out
in four minutes.
Todd: Bull( bleep ), dude.
Frank: I had a parade.
Nick: Nobody gives a ( bleep ).
Frank: Here, they don't even
buy me a ( bleep ) drink.
Judy: Gonna get worse !
Frank: I love you, my country,
but you know what ?
( bleep ) you.
Mike: Oh, no !
Danny: Wow.
Frank: So don't put that flag
behind me anymore on the show.
I don't like America anymore,
mother( bleep ).
Daniel: Wow, what a ***.
Frank: I'm ( bleep ) sick of
this ( bleep ).
I want to be treated with
( bleep ) respect!