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\f0\fs56 \cf0 So there was this book I had to read for class\
it was pretty long, I read it once, I read it fast\
read it this time and thought critically instead\ \
When people saw what I was reading, they got pretty pissed\
and yelled "you're reading moby ***, I f-ing hate that sh-t\
\ so i asked them if they'd read it and they
I just sparksnoted it and thought that it was lame\
\ I said pot calling kettle, your insults have
a limp\ read up on some shakespeare, you foul defaced
shrimp\ once you've done so, read moby *** again\
the bard's on every page, even hamlet the dane\
\ when that whale head is hanging above the
pequod ship\ and ishmael is talking , hello alas poor yorick?\
DON'T get me started on paradise lost\ melville refs milton like a bowser boss\
\ Oh good morning fair is foul and foul is fair\
worse to serve in heaven than reign in satan's lair\
after the storm east is west and west is east\ HM even refs leviathan, a biblical beast\
\ This book talks about dragons it has cannibals\
all about sea adventures and that's not all\ *** whale anatomy -- how could you resist!\
if you still say you hate it, feel free to meet my fist\
now a brief interlude with our fictional friends\ who'll let you how moby *** ends\
please don't pull a river song and say SPOILERS\ if you give me that crap I'll put your face
in a boiler\ \
\b B: \b0 NOT ON THE BOAT I AM THE BOAT\
\b W: \b0 F YOU, I AM THE WHALE\
\b B: \b0 I'M ON ZACK AND CODY\
\b W: \b0 I EMBODY TWITTER FAIL\
\b B: I \b0 HAVE CAPTAIN AHAB, A ONE LEGGED CRAZY
DUDE\
\b W: \b0 WHO I DRAG DOWN WHEN I DIE - he's TASTY
SHARK FOOD. MIGHT I ALSO REMIND YOU THAT YOU'RE DRAGGED DOWN TOO? \
\b B: \b0 BY THE VORTEX I CREATED\
\b W: \b0 BUT YOU PULLED DOWN YOUR CREW!\
\b B: \b0 WHO CARES! JACK SPARROW RODE ME\
\b W: \b0 DON'T YOU KNOW I'M TEAM NINJA \
\b B: \b0 You're no ninja turtle, YOU'RE TEAM MUTANT,
YOU MINGER\ \
Hey hey hey back off Moby *** \ alright I know his name is slang for man bits\
But I just spent six hundred pages reading about whaling \
And if you watch the cove you know it's not plain sailing\
Not surprised moby bit off Ahab's leg (twice) \
That captain doesn't know how to be nice\ He's too busy with mad Pip and at night soliloquising\
Just like me in my dorm room when I'm s'posed to be revising\
\ I'm not gonna pretend that this book isn't
heavy\ literally and metaphorically, and urbanely
-- you geddit?\ There's so much to Melville's sea epic\
That you'd be missing out if you've only read it\
On sparknotes or wikipedia or not even bothered\ And don't even think this video has you covered\
I didn't mention whiteness, or jonah, or god\ There's so much to be said about the Pequod\
But to go into that? We don't have time, mes belles!\
So start with these words, Call me Ishmael.}