Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Right off the bat, this has one of the worst openings in movie history. Did Don Mancini
write that into his first draft? FADE IN: The screen fills with *** as we follow ***
on their journey towards the womb, but the twist is that it looks like a screensaver
for Windows 2000. This was back in the early 2000s when self-referential
horror was trending so now they're taking pot-shots at Hollywood. Right, I would say
they're biting the hand that feeds them, but this is more like emerging from a several-months
long coma only to pull out your own life-support while your family watches in shock.
Okay, how do I explain this, give me a second. There are essentially three separate storylines
here. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. The Good would be Glen and how he interacts with
Chucky and Tiffany as they go on their hundredth search for bodies to inhabit while Tiffany
tries to get over her ***-addiction. The bad would be the terrible attempts to satirise
Hollywood that no-one except maybe Don Mancini finds funny. The Ugly is when these story-threads
try to intertwine. It's like a narcoleptic with chronic amnesia trying to tie an Austrian
knot. It's when these two plots come together the film grinds to a halt and I am treated
to an impossibly stupid story-line about Chucky impregnating Jennifer Tilly.
I feel sorry for her for what they do to her in this movie. It is dumb, unfunny and just
plain weird. Like Don just went, 'you know what, I've done four of these, I'm just going
to see what I can get away with'. I sincerely hope the next movie is just a 90 minute apology
to her. In fact, I hope the budget went to buying a giant float that says in giant letters
'WE'RE SORRY JENNIFFER". She takes it like a champ, so do Brad Dourif
and Billy Boyd, being the only people with any emotion in this cast of people who probably
would have appeared more enthusiastic had this script not been so unbelievably full
of itself, especially for a movie that fails on practically all accounts.
Even the direction is just so unbelievably bad. Don wants to do a full horror-movie like
the old ones. You can just tell by how he films the opening scene and tries to inject
with suspense by taking it slow only to ramp it up once the horror starts to get into gear
and for what it's worth, it's really effective, but he knows that he can't do that for the
entire film because he didn't write a horror script, so now his camerawork serves only
to linger on the punch-lines of really bad jokes.
I said during the past few movies that the standard trend is that they are well shot
and directed, and they would work as a result except that the stories are dismal due to
being based on a really bad concept without the film-makers knowing how to play it. This
piece of crap wishes it was as well-made as the last few, but it seems that the terrible
writing has in fact dragged down the entire production and everyone just wants to be somewhere
else. I mean, I hate these Chucky movies. There's
not a single one of these that ever appealed to me, but this one is the worst. Seed of
Chucky had at least some potential in the story between Chucky, Tiffany and Glen, but
the script is too busy making terrible jokes about Chucky jerking off to Fangoria or running
over Britney Spears and other insanely dated attempts at satire at the expense of poor
Jennifer Tilly. Seed of Chucky is a miserable experience, and the next movie really has
its work cut out for it.