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Announcer:
Calamari stolen the lead,
but Ample Parking is making strides,
and is now at fourth, third,
and holding second place, while
Blue Calamari is at steady speed.
And down the stretch they come!
Ample Parking comes from behind.
It's Ample Parking by a nose!
This is the last call
for the third race.
You may still wager if you hurry.
Here's your information on the race
Out of the way.
Cripple coming through.
Um, 6 race at Golden Downs.
I'll take the two and the four.
Hey, that's my birthday.
February 4th, 1963.
I think that's a good bet?
Oh, wh-what's your birthday?
Take your time.
Don't worry.
There's only 30 seconds to post.
Is there any way I can bet
on the 6 and the 3 also?
You know, for the year?
All four horses.
Can I do that?
He wants a $2.
00 exacta box - 2, 4, 6, 3.
Give him $24.
Mm-hmm.
Your turn.
Seminal Uprising to win.
Might as well burn your money.
I'll burn my winnings.
Bigger flame.
Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen
Same race,
TermiGator to win.
Flag is up.
- Sorry, race just closed.
- Damn it.
She was 14 to 1, too.
That fat *** over there
just saved you money.
- No way Seminal Uprising is
- I don't bet on the horses.
I bet on the jocks.
My rider is bulimic.
Purses after his weigh-ins.
Leave a 2-pound pile at the starting gate,
shaves valuable time of that final 8th.
Nice to have inside information.
Leads at the stretch by a length,
the Burning Bush.
And on the level
is Andy right up on the inside
[Clash and thud]
[Breathes with difficulty]
Is anybody here a doctor?
[Breathes with difficulty]
You tryin' to cop a feel?
I took a CPR class at the Y.
That would be useful
if she was having a heart atack
instead of seizure.
Seizure?
Hold her tongue down?
If you wanna get a finger bitten off.
Call an ambulance.
Methodistis 3 blocks down.
I could drive her.
Just make the call.
Man:
What the hell is that?
How should I know?
Tell the paramedics to take her
to Princeton-Plainsborough.
The doctor's name is House.
And it's TermiGator
winning by 2 lengths!
Original Airdate (FOX): 13-DEC-2005
This is one does House hang out at OTB?
Man's an addict.
Right, addicted to pills,
not gambling.
Same thing - drug abuse,
drinking, gambling.
They all fire up the same
pleasure centers in the brain.
An addict is an addict is
Gambling doesn't
take away his pain.
It does when I win.
Hot OTB babe has grand mal
and inexplicable bruising.
What up with that?
You were just standing there
and she started to seize?
Spend as much time around
the real people as I do,
someone gets sick.
Platelets are 89.
She's anemic.
And she has a blood
alcohol level of .
13.
Hot OTB babe?
Obviously a working girl.
Probably an STD, infection.
No fever, no infection.
Alcohol abuse explains it all.
Causes seizures and affects
her blood's ability to clot,
which causes bruising.
Start her on heparin.
She'll be fine by morning.
Except for the fact that
the bruises are not petechial,
which means it's not DIC.
So the bruises were
caused by trauma.
She probably got beat up
by her boyfriend.
Or her ***.
What's that called
when you judge someone
before ever meeting them?
She's a regular at OTB.
Somehow I don't see her
holding down a 9-to-5
and going to PTA meetings.
I was there.
I have a "9-to-3" job.
It could be SLE,
familial telangiectasis,
- or even Cushing's.
- Good.
Start with those.
- Which one?
- Cushing's.
Explains the seizure
and the bruising.
Not the anemia.
So she doesn't eat
a lot of meat.
DIC brought on by alcohol abuse
is far more likely.
Do a full workup.
H and P.
And lab her up, LP, MRI.
Wh-Whoa!
Did you just ever-so-subtly
order me to get her medical history?
Cuddy put me in charge
last week.
Soyeah.
It was a pretend in charge.
Formality to get past
the suits in legal.
Right, those licensing board folk
love to play dress-up and pretend.
Hey, no worries.
I'll let you keep
your parking space.
You can have it.
You'll also need
my handicapped placard.
Bend over.
Well, you make a pretty
convincing argument.
Chase killed that woman.
Now Foreman's in charge?
Yeah, we have a
pecking order here.
If Cameron kills somebody,
Chase takes over.
There's a flow chart in the lobby.
For the next three weeks,
you answer directly
to Dr.
Foreman.
And I expect you here
for grand rounds at 9:00.
By the way
I like sugar in my coffee.
If there's a screw-up,
it's your screw-up.
You won't have Dr.
House
to fall back on.
"Do you wear a seat belt?"
Is that really relevant
to a seizure?
Skip it.
How about, um
"Were you vaccinated for polio?"
I think you gave me
the form intended for FDR.
You really like
Teeny Tiny Mo in the 5th?
I went 4 for 6 yesterday.
You want winners,
cure me first.
"Are you generally satisfied
with your life?"
It does not ask that.
You know,
I was going to ask
what a respectable doctor
was doing in an OTB parlor.
Somehow that question
doesn't seem relevant anymore.
- What's your excuse?
- Turns me on.
Yeah?
What else turns you on?
Drugs?
Casual sex?
Rough sex?
Casual rough sex?
I'm a doctor.
I need to know.
No sex.
Just moved here.
Haven't even found a job yet.
Don't know anybody.
Came here without a job.
That means
you didn't move here.
You moved away
from somewhere else.
Whew.
- Does that hurt?
- No.
You on prescription meds?
Hormones? Prednisone?
I already answered that one.
I think it was question
number 20-something.
Yeah, and I could
reach down and get it,
but that would kind of
spoil the whole cool move.
I'm not on any medications.
- You vegetarian?
- No.
Why?
Because you might have something
called Cushing's Syndrome.
Which basically means
My pituitary
is overproducing ACTH,
which is causing
my adrenal glands
to push too much cortisol
into my bloodstream.
By coincidence,
I'm a doctor too.
Yeah, I had it last year.
They did brain surgery.
Removed an adenoma
from my pituitary.
[Whistles a tune]
Huh?
What did you just say?
"You were right, House,
her pituitary tumor regrew.
It is Cushing's.
Uncanny how you do that.
"
Actually, it was
Cameron's idea.
No, Cameron
had three ideas.
I chose one
to encourage, to nurture.
Yeah, you're all about
the nurturing.
Do you need a hug?
I don't see any regrowth.
You get a medical records
fax over?
Work smart, not hard.
That's my philosophy, boss.
I'll take that as a no.
Foreman:
Anica, I need you to
stay completely still.
Sorry.
Still don't see anything.
Okay, so it's a micro adenoma,
too small to see.
It's so small,
it's not even there.
Right, it's just a coincidence that
I predicted a rare condition that
shehappened to have a year ago.
Results from her LP back yet?
Didn't do an LP.
I knew what she had.
Window Closed
[control panel: open_winMRI-1]
Go do the LP.
Okay, I need you to roll over
on your side, kiss your kneecaps.
Party time.
I thought it only took
one doctor to do this.
I'm observing.
She's here to make sure
I don't paralyze you.
You've done this
before, right?
Successfully?
He's kidding.
He's an excellent doctor.
House:
I'm gonna numb the area
with some lidocaine.
And then we're off to the races.
See what I did there?
I used horse racing jargon
to make the patient
feel more comfortable.
Okay, here we go.
[Gasps] Ow!
Felt like bone.
Does that hurt?
A little bit.
What are you doing? Oww!
Try running your back a bit more.
Perfect is the way you are.
- [Gasps]
- Oops.
That was all me.
Ow!
Might wanna move down
one vertebrae.
This is actually much harder
than I remember.
[Gasps] Ohh!
My chest feels
a little tight.
Try taking a deep breath.
Dr.
House, maybe
I should take it from here.
Eighth time's the charm.
Aah!
You trying
to *** off Foreman?
[Monitor stars beeping]
Let
Cameron:
EP's 240 over 140.
Turn that thing off, will you?
Take the needle out.
- Take the needle out!
- Okay!
It's a hypertensive crisis.
Start her on an IV Lopressor drip.
Titrate to systolic
less than 140.
She'll be fine.
House:
Cameron, meet me
in my office.
House:
At the risk of
sounding redundant
and rightagain
she has Cushing's.
Cushing's.
Rightthe fact that
you mangled her LP
has nothing to do with it?
Actually, it has
everything to do with it.
Cushing's plus stress
equals hypertensive crisis.
Smart move,
sending the rookie.
Her initial symptoms
could have been caused
by alcohol-induced DIC.
She hada hypertensive crisis
because it's been at least six hours
since she hadher last drink.
She's detoxing.
The exact same moment
that I'm futilely trying
to give her an LP?
Right, an invisible tumor
on her pituitary
is much more likely.
Chase:
What if the tumor is
somewhere else?
There could be an
ACTH-secreting tumor
on her lung or pancreas.
It's awfully rare.
Not as rare as
an invisible tumor.
Why didn't they put you
in charge instead of Foreman?
Oh, yeah, you're the guy
that killed that woman.
Get a pan-man scan
before she dies of cortisol OD.
[Whimpers] Please?
Fine, do it.
But when you
don't find anything,
put her on a Librium taper
for the withdrawal and
get her a bed in a rehab clinic.
Chase:
Lungs look clean.
Her lymph node's
not enlarged.
Cuddy tapped Foreman
to run the department.
- I didn't even get asked.
- Neither did I.
- You were suspended.
- I was kidding.
It's the irony of women in charge.
They don't like other women in charge.
Hmph!
What? You think
it's something else?
You sabotaged yourself.
You went on a date with House.
You slept with me.
Putting you in charge of this department is
like a *** harassment suit waiting to happen.
Yeah.
They're really worried
that I'm gonna create
a hostile work environment.
Maybe that's the problem.
Being in charge means
having to say "no" to House.
Would you hire you for that?
[On TV]
Anderson coming out strong.
What is he thinking?
He watched what Tom Meents just did.
You ordered MRIs for
the entire maternity ward?
I was in a crazy mood.
Good thing I got
a new boss to back me up.
Although I think one of those
is actually necessary.
Better comb through
before you cancel them all.
What do you expect me
to do, House?
Quit? Cry?
Actually, I expect you
to act like what you are.
My employee.
My subordinate.
My ***.
Yeah.
Well, since
you asked nicely--
God.
I can't believe I got
more than a year behind
on my discharge summaries.
Gotta get caught up.
Oh, no.
Wait.
I'm not authorized
to sign these anymore.
Only you are.
Keep it coming.
I'm not gonna break.
Scan showed a mass
on her pancreas.
It looks malignant.
Probably inoperable.
I'd give her two months.
[Sighs]
On the bright side,
it still means I was right.
Where's Dr.
House?
Dr.
Foreman's
overseeing your case.
He thought it'd be best
if I spoke with you.
We found a mass
in your pancreas.
It looks like cancer.
So something in my pancreas
caused me to have a seizure?
Probably.
But the bigger point is
[Inhales deeply and exhales]
A one year survival rate for
pancreatic cancer is less than 20%.
So what's the treatment?
We need to biopsy the mass
to see what we're dealing with.
And
Then we can recommend
options from there.
Sounds good.
I need your consent
to do the biopsy.
Thanks.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
Cameron:
It was weird.
She barely reacted at all.
I've had people hug me
and people take
a swing at me.
This was more like
she didn't even hear me.
Magnify three times.
House assisting.
That is funny.
Too bad Foreman's gonna die.
Good afternoon.
I'm Dr.
House.
I'm going to be
looking at your
Perfect.
Excuse me.
I need Dr.
Foreman in
Exam Room One for a consult.
So, when did this start?
A couple weeks ago.
I didn't want
to get pregnant.
Jake's not into rubbers,
so I got on the jelly.
You think I'm allergic
or something?
You have an infection.
Gonna need a sample.
I brought the jar.
No, I meant
a sample of your
Okay.
We have
a neurological problem here.
There's something wrong
with my brain?
Oh, yeah.
You can cover yourself up.
I got what I need.
What's up?
Smell this.
[Sniffs]
Smells like vaginosis.
But it's not
really my call.
Great.
I'll be sure
to put a gold star
by your name on the board.
Anica's biopsy
for pancreatic cancer
was negative.
Okay.
I'm gonna give you
some antibiotics
and you probably shouldn't
have sex for a while.
How long?
On an evolutionary basis,
I'd recommend forever.
The mass in the
pancreas is benign.
It's probably
just scar tissue.
Good news.
She's not sick all.
Other than being an alcoholic.
The labs you sent
yesterday put her ACTH at
She's got Cushing's.
Something set it off.
It's gotta be in her brain.
Set her up
for a venous sampling.
There is another possibility.
Chase, hold on.
How'd you get him
trained so fast?
Electronic collar?
Got treats in your pocket?
She didn't even
read the consent form
for the pancreatic biopsy.
Who reads those things?
Maybe she didn't read it
because she KNEW that
there was nothing wrong with her.
There is another explanation
for the Cushing's.
Maybe she
injected herself with the ACTH.
Her behavior suggests
Munchausen's.
She's had four hospitalizations
in the last four months.
Well, being hospitalized a lot
certainly points to nothing
being wrong with you.
She's had zero symptoms
since she got here.
The scarring on her pancreas could be be
caused from injecting herself with
the benzene and setting offthe seizures.
House:
She's had brain surgery.
You can fake a stomach ache.
You can't fake a brain tumor.
You can fake
an invisible one.
We should check her apartment.
Look for medications, syringes.
- Venous sampling's easier.
- And more dangerous.
Not if you get caught breaking in.
So don't get caught, House.
Why do you think
Cuddy picked Foreman over me?
If I done something wrong
or if there's something
I needed to improve on
Would it make you shut up
if I told you she wanted someone black?
How would you describe
my leadership skills?
Nonexistent.
Otherwise excellent.
There's more to being
a leader than being a jerk.
The world will never know.
[Starts engine]
No.
No way.
- It just snowed.
- Yesterday.
The streets are clear.
My car is right there.
There's construction on Elm.
Bike'll be faster.
[Guns the motor]
Cameron:
There's even books
in the bathroom.
Well, either she's very smart or
she has a severe fiber deficiency.
"Tuesday 1 pm Opthalmologist, Dr.
Peterson"
"Thursday 10 am Gynecologist, Dr.
Lachowicz"
She's got an appointment
with her ophthalmologist on Tuesday
and an appointment with
her gynecologist on Thursday.
Multiple appointments
with multiple doctors.
Symptom of Munchausen's.
Or, just thinking outside the box here,
she has a *** and trouble reading.
There's three pairs of reading glasses.
Each with different prescriptions.
Which would be
explained by a tumor
pressing on the optic nerve.
Because you're looking
for her to have a tumor.
And you are looking for
A person with
Munchausen's Syndrome
drinks battery acid.
They don't go to an ophthalmologist
to get their pupils dilated.
An ophthalmologist is a doctor.
Attention is attention.
How many hospitals
have you contacted?
Has one doctor said she's crazy?
It's not Munchausen's.
It's not your call.
If you think she's got Munchausen's,
then obviously you got
something to show the man.
A syringe in her apartment.
A bottle of ACTH.
Munchausen patients are good
at covering their tracks.
Oh, right.
So the fact
that we found nothing
proves there's something.
Look at the pathology reports
from the surgery she had in Chicago.
They removed 30% of her pituitary.
They found no tumor.
It's possible
the surgeons just missed it.
I mean that kind of surgery.
You're just cutting and hoping.
Of course! We're both right.
Excellent solution.
Everybody's happy.
Come on.
Step up, Foreman.
If you think I'm right,
order me to stick a needle in her brain.
If you think Cameron's right,
send the patient home.
Either she'll be fine,
or she'll die.
Do the venous sampling.
Get her consent.
Nice move, boss.
Way to cover your ***.
I just agreed with you.
Not because
you think I'm right.
You're just taking
the safe route.
You're a wuss.
Don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
House:
Hey, Wilson!
Guess what Foreman just did?
Hi.
This is a consent form
to stick a wire into your brain.
It's important for hospitals to
get these signed for procedures
that are completely unnecessary.
Then why are you doing it?
Because you're mentally ill.
You injected yourself
with ACTH to induce Cushing's
to get attention doctors.
And so far it's worked.
I'd like to see
another doctor.
I'm not giving you
what you want?
I don't want a ***.
Just sign the forms, okay,
and I'll get out of here.
Hopefully for you, what ever
you injected yourself with
won't wear off
before you get fun of
a caring and concerned doctor
cutting into your head.
You chose me to make
House miserable, didn't you?
Apparently he's
making YOU miserable.
That's impressive.
Find someone else.
No.
For the first time in six years
I'm getting copied on all
experimental tests and procedures.
Clinic hours have been
logged and completed.
You've given me four months
of House's dictations
so I can finally bill
insurance companies.
I only did that stuff to prove
he couldn't make me miserable.
Well, way to go.
Now everybody's
getting what they need.
Even House.
He gets to play mad scientist,
and this department runs smoothly.
So I'm stuck with this
for the next three weeks.
Maybe longer.
Would you be interested
if this wasn't just pretend?
What did Mommy say?
I don't get any candy
in my stocking.
Patient being prepped
for the venous sampling?
Yeah.
Mentally ill patient is
right on track for
a pointless procedure.
Yeah, we get your objection.
[Phone starts ringing]
Foreman.
Are you sure?
That doesn't make any sense.
Check it again.
Haw! We gotta delay
the venous sampling.
Why?
Her urine turning orange?
How would you know that?
Because that's
what rifampin does.
She's not on antibiotics?
But if a Munchausen's patient
thinks she's about get busted,
she sees pills labeled
"Dangerous: might cause seizures,"
she might grab a couple.
And if that label were accidentally
on a bottle of antibiotics
and if that bottle were
accidentally left in her room
- You set her up?
- Might have.
It's Munchausen's.
All this she did to herself.
I don't what the hell
you're talking about.
I had a seizure.
I'm sick.
I need your help.
Not from this department.
The half-life of rifampin is
three hours.
After that,
you'll get your psych referral
and your discharge papers.
You know, just because
you stick your fingers
down your throat
doesn't mean
the rest of us are screwed up.
I guess when cooperation fails,
you move onto hostility.
I didn't do this to myself.
Chase:
Sign of a good liar.
[Scoffs]
Also the sign of a sociopath.
What are you doing?
Correcting your last note.
We can't discharge her,
she's sick.
Anybody ever tell you
you write like a girl?
What?
You got some other explanation
for orange urine?
- It's Munchausen's.
- Correct, but not complete.
You just don't wanna admit
that she skunked you.
At the end of
"The Boy Who Cried Wolf"
the wolf really does come.
And he eats the sheep
and the boy and his parents.
- The wolf doesn't eat the parents.
- It does when I tell it.
You're not telling
the story now.
I am.
Look, I checked her records.
All her hospitalizations
were for different things.
Brain tumor, fainting spells,
skin rashes, seizures.
She's had every blood test
known to man and the results
were all over the map.
There's only one constant.
Low HCT.
The anemia's real.
There's a million things
she could have taken
to have done that.
True.
Could just be her M.
O.
She self-induces two illnesses.
One always changes, one never does.
Or maybe, she has
Munchausen's and aplastic anemia.
Which would mean
without the proper treatment,
she'll continue to get sicker, weaker,
eventually she'll start
bleeding internally and die.
- She's not getting sicker.
- She will.
If her bone marrow was dying,
the entire blood panel
would be affected.
- Her white count's normal.
- So far.
We need to do
a bone marrow biopsy.
- No.
No more tests.
- Look.
You kick her to the curb
with a Munchausen's diagnosis,
you're guaranteeing that
no doctor will ever listen to her again.
We do more tests,
we'll only be feeding her psychosis.
The more attention we give her,
the more she'll want.
What if she doesn't know
we're testing her?
House.
You were wrong.
Live with it.
There's probably some blood
left over from previous tests.
Blood tests alone can't
confirm aplastic anemia.
Yes, I know.
That's why I wanna
do a bone marrow biopsy.
The blood tests could show
a systemic disease, or a virus
or toxin that could be the cause.
Fine.
You wanna test the extra blood?
Knock yourself out.
But the patient is off-limits.
And if the results
are positive
I get my biopsy?
It's a safe way to go.
I need all of these tests
and a PCR done on this sample.
You're gonna
need more blood.
Patient's empty.
Then I can't do it.
You can try.
You can try to look
like Salma Hayek.
It's not gonna
make it happen.
You may not have Salma's ***,
but she doesn't have your eyes.
Yeah, right.
How soon do you need it?
[Knocking on door]
Dr.
Wilson.
Can I talk to you
about something in confidence?
Of course.
- It's about House.
- Oh.
Then no.
Fine.
I won't say anything.
Do you think
there's any way
House would take me
seriously as his boss?
Uhwhere is this coming from?
Did Cuddy say something?
We talked.
She intimated.
And you want my advice
on how to usurp him?
It's very ancient Rome.
He'll need a toga, of course.
A
sword.
It's not a coup.
I just wanna
figure out some way
we can work together.
I mean, I keep the team running
from an administrative point of view.
House doesn't have to
deal with the red tape.
- It's a win-win.
- I'm sure he'll see it that way.
You have any advice
on how to approach him,
- how to deal with the guy?
- No.
But you won't
tell him we talked?
No.
There is no way
this is gonna happen.
[Singing The Beatles' "Aint She Sweet"]
# Oh, ain't he sweet #
# See him walkin' down that street #
# So I ask you
very confidentially #
# Ain't he sweet #
Epstein-Barr titers
are through the roof.
Most common viral cause
of aplastic anemia.
So what I'm saying is
# Just cast an eye
in his direction #
# Oh me, oh my,
ain't that perfection #
Fetal hemoglobin's
also elevated.
Yeah, just a wee bit.
- Could indicate
- Uh, you see that in Sickle Cell.
Not all Sickle Cell patients are black.
None of her other blood panels
showed any sign of Sickle Cell.
Which means either
something's changed
drastically since yesterday,
- or this isn't her blood.
- Oh course it is!
Metaphorically.
Look, I couldn't
do the tests.
I tried, and there wasn't
enough blood left over.
You just let me do the biopsy.
Chase:
No way.
I just got back
from a suspension.
And if it wasn't for me,
you would have been fired.
Why don't you just get
the sample yourself?
Since when have you cared
what your boss said?
I don't care what anybody says,
I care what they do.
And right now,
Blackpoleon Blackaparte
has got the nurses on red alert.
I can't get into
the patient's room.
So come on.
I'll draw the enemy fire,
you outflank them, get in there,
get the bone marrow sample.
Can't.
Who are you more afraid of?
I'm not afraid of Foreman.
I agree with him.
All the tests back him up.
All the tests
have not been done.
You do realize that
Blackaparte's reign
is only temporary.
I also realize that no matter what I do,
you're still gonna treat me like crap.
Crap is a relative term.
I never even made it
into the room.
Nurses called the attending
as soon as a Trocar was ordered.
You used her real name?
I just processed
your patient's discharge papers.
She's on her way out right now.
Whoa! Whoa.
Whoa.
Wait up.
It's all right.
She's gonna stay.
- Wonderful.
- Oh, bite me!
I don't need to hear
the riot act again.
How would you like
another medical test?
- What?
- Sit.
Why?
So you don't crack your skull
when you pass out.
Just do it.
- You know what colchicine is?
- No.
Well, don't feel bad.
It's for gout.
It's got nothing to do with anything
you've ever pretended to have.
- I'm not pretending
- Shut up.
Colchicine decimates
your white blood cells
and leaves almost no trace.
It's great for faking
your way into hospitals.
- I didn't fake my way
- Shut up.
You've beeing this for years.
Don't worry,
it's probably not your fault.
When you were a kid,
you had a close relative
who had a chronic disease,
probably your sister.
You saw all the attention she got
while you were left alone, ignored.
And it really seriously
crewed you up.
- I do not have a relative
- Shut up!
I'm trying to give you
what you want.
And save your life.
You have aplastic anemia.
What, are you trying
to scare me now?
It means you're
not just sick in the head.
The problem is,
the rest of you appears well.
So I've got to make you seem
as sick as you're supposed to be
by injecting you with a drug
that simulates symptoms
that you actually have.
All you need to know is
you've hit
the Munchausen's jackpot.
I'm gonna give you
a cocktail of insulin
for a seizure
and colchicine
to kill your white count,
this will absolutely confirm
my diagnosis of aplastic anemia.
There is onesmall catch.
If you've actually done something
to yourself to cause the anemia,
then I'm wrong.
And if I do what I plan to do,
then the treatment will kill you
instead of saving you.
So I need to know.
Have you been taking anything
besides the insulin, the ACTH,
and the pills Cameron
left in your room?
No.
Good.
Give me your arm.
It was my mom.
She had MS.
She was in and out
of hospitals all the time.
People were always
trying to do things for her.
Bring her food
or brush her hair, or
make her happy.
People cared.
She died when I was 16.
Then there was no one.
Boo hoo.
Where are you going?
Well, I obviously can't
be around when it happens.
Well, what are you gonna do?
You're just gonna
Relax.
You know the drill.
People walk by here
all the time.
You'll be fine.
**So fairly off the door and
she has another seizure.
She must've somehow
grabbed insulin on her way out.
Once she's stable, we need to
get her out of here before
she does more damage to herself.
We can't.
Her white count's down.
Sorry, I missed that.
Hearing's been off since
the Ricky Martin concert.
Some cholo kicked me in the head.
White count, hematocrit,
and platelets are all off.
Her bone marrow's shutting down.
She actually has aplastic anemia.
Say what?
Cameron:
All her other labs show
nothing that would
Lab ***.
A good diagnostician
reads between the labs.
You were right.
Hey, hey, hey.
We're not here to
play the blame game.
These things happen.
Sometimes doctors send
people out on the street to die
after other doctors warn them
that they're sending people
out on the street to die.
There's no way you could know.
I'll go give her the news.
Who are you?
I'm Dr.
Foreman.
I'm in charge of your case.
You have aplastic anemia.
Which means your
bone marrow has shut down.
And your body can't
make new blood anymore.
Are you sure?
I went back and
checked your old records.
It makes sense.
The aplastic anemia's apparently
been developing for months.
I'm sorry,
we should've caught it earlier.
So
It's not just the latest white count
that's leading you to feel this
I know this is scary.
But a bone marrow transplant
could cure you.
A marrow transplant
could kill me.
The other option is
weekly blood transfusions.
Injections of GCSF.
- It's a life-long regimen.
- Yeah, I don't want that.
Are you sure?
I-I don't want to
be ruel here, but
you jumped through a lot of hoops
to get this sort of attention.
I just wanna be healthy.
It's not so much fun
when you're actually sick.
No.
We'll um
we'll check the registry.
See if there's a donor match.
Thank you.
We have to kill all the old bone marrow
before we give you the new stuff.
You'll have no immune system.
We'll keep you in a sterile room
for two weeks to make sure
everything's dead.
Then we'll give you
the donor marrow.
It'll take another couple of weeks
until it takes hold.
You won't feel a thing.
If you get uncomfortable for any reason
I need to talk, don't yell.
Walls are four inches thick.
Lead.
Use the microphone.
Are you ready?
Okay.
[Irradiation starts]
Where's Dr.
House?
Turn it off.
[Monitor starts beeping]
Now what?
How long has she been in there?
Three minutes.
What's going on?
She doesn't have
aplastic anemia.
She has an infection.
No.
Her white count
would be through the roof.
Hers is one the floor.
- Well, the body does crazy things.
- "The body does crazy things.
"
Well, that explains everything.
She had no fever.
'Cause her self-inflicted Cushing's
suppressed her immune system.
Stopped her from having a fever.
Hid the infection.
Clostridium perfringens
could cause the bruises,
schistocytes, the anemia
Explains everything
except the white count.
Augmentin is a lot safer than
destroying her immune system.
Why don't we try that?
Ww-you're taking
the safe course?
What's going on?
There's lots of explanations
for a low white count.
Name one that fits her case.
Colchicine.
I figure that she'd gotten
her hands on it and, uh,
just self-medicated.
That's brilliant of her!
Take the exact medication that
would confirm your diagnosis.
People do crazy things.
You injected her against her will
just so you could be right?
- She consented.
- She's mentally ill!
But she smells oh so sweet.
She would've gotten sicker
when I said she was gonna get sicker,
except Cameron dosed her
with antibiotics.
Just hold this.
- Is everything okay?
- Pull my finger.
[Gasps]
[Sniffs]
Grapey.
You have a bacterium.
It's on all of us.
But
the bruises you gave yourself
with the Cushing's made a lovely home.
Bacteria moved in,
parked their cars on the lawn.
There goes the neighborhood.
By "neighborhood"
I mean your internal organs.
So, should we put her
on the Augmentin, boss?
Or do you think she injected
herself with grapes? [Sniffs]
I love the smell of pus
in the morning.
Smells like
victory.
If you were serious
about the offer,
I'm serious
about accepting.
I'd like to run
the department.
And you said it yourself,
things run smooth.
Except for the part where
House went behind your back
and KO'd the patient
with insulin and colchicine.
There was no reason
to suspect an infection.
Even House didn't think
it was an infection.
You would've done
the same thing I did.
And I'd be just as wrong.
What House did was insane.
But he saved her life.
He got lucky.
He got her to admit
she's got a problem.
She's agreed to
out-patient treatment.
He gets lucky a lot.
Did you ever really
intend to give me this job?
Or were you just trying to
stop me from stepping down?
You've got
two more weeks in charge.
Hopefully the next case
will go better.
She should've died.
House is not a hero.
A person who has the guts
to break a bad rule,
they're a hero.
House doesn't break rules.
He ignores them.
He's not Rosa Parks.
He's an anarchist.
All he stands for is the right
for everyone to grab
whatever they want
whenever they want.
You tell doctors that's okay,
your mortality rate is
gonna go through the roof.
Kinda digging this whole
Foreman-in-charge thing.
You know.
It frees me up
to watch my soaps.
Catch a movie
in the afternoon.
Have lunch with you.
Yeah, that's
a big change for you.
Now Cuddy's up
Foreman's ***, not mine.
# Carols everywhere#
You couldn't live
with Foreman as your boss.
Why not?
People can change, you know.
# Sleigh bells in the air #
# Beauty everywhere #
- White count is way down.
- Oh.
We're going to need to admit you.
Just run a few more tests.
Whatever you think is best.
# Christmas time is here #
Last race at the Belmont.
Put it all on the 5.
To win.
# Oh that we could always see #
# Such spirit through the year #