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So. . . guess who we've got to do the artwork for Avatar?
Pixar?
Not even close. We've got that guy who airbrushes dolphins on to monster trucks. And let me
tell you, when we signed him for this movie, no one was more thrilled than he was. But
you've read the script yeah?
Yeah. About that am I getting this right? The Navi are like Al- Qaeda with their primitive
weapons.
Uh- huh.
And the humans are like the invading western armies with their helicopters and bombs.
I see you decoded the subtle subtext.
So essentially James Cameron is saying he wants Al Qaeda to win?
Yes. . . no. . . maybe. . . moot point. Anyway, don't sweat the small stuff cos this film's
going to change cinema forever.
How?
It's the first film ever in 3D!
What about Jaws 3D?
Was that in 3D? Okay, it's the first animated film in 3D.
What about Monsters vs Aliens?
Fine. It's the first film in 3D that's a bit live and a bit animation.
What like G Force?
Stop shooting me down! Remember, in brainstorming there are no bad ideas.
We're not brainstorming.
Look just tell me how much money Mr Cameron wants!
He wants, three hundred miles. And he's crossed out an "S" at the start.
That's a dollar sign
Then why would he have put it in "miles"?
The M means million
Yeah. So he wants dollar three hundred million.
Okay I'll give you three hundred million dollars
Let's be on the safe side - 400 million dollars.
Okay four hundred
Deal. 500 million.
I'll give you the money as long as you don't use the word Unobtainium in the script
Of course. That's just a place- holder. We'll definitely change that.
Who's going to let that through? I absolutely promise that we won't forget
to change it - in fact I'll make a note... oh, I haven't got a pen...
Doesn't matter, I'll just type it into my phone… oh battery's dead...
Look, I'll just remember it in my mind. Promise.
Unobtanium? You're destroying our sacred tree for unobtanium,
Jake Sully?
Yeah about that… I'm just gonna unplug I… er... mean I'm just gonna go to sleep now..
[sniff] Oh my god! Guys! I just totally nailed that blue chick. We got freaky under that
stupid tree! (You know with the little faces?) You know what? I think I'm going to go back in
that Avatar machine and pork her again with my big weird blue junk!
What? I'm still plugged in a bit? So she heard me talking about banging her? Oh that's cool.
I can deal with this. Heeey! Nina!
Netyri. Yeah yeah, thats what i said: "Nar… rave… nard.. ring…" Sooo… look you probably
heard that because I totally meant you to. Because I'm so in to you and I just love
that tree… we can still do stuff to each right? In a physical way? Oo.
Ah. Wow, this is more painful than when I got
paralysed! Er… I mean I'm obviously not paralysed but oh screw it