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SimBizarre Journal
With Marcia Goldosmith
"If they mess up with you, they will mess up with me too"
"And the beautiful and hot reporter, William ***"
That's me!
Márcia, i'm farting a lot today and i hope u don't mind
We're on air, william!
Good Night.
Peruvian goes through surgery after "8 days ***"
It's true, dear Márcia
The doctor said the patient was suffering
from priapism, a persistent *** ***
that occurs usually by a blood clot on the erectile tissue.
The doctors are still studyin the dysfunction cause
otherwise the process might start all over again
Woman accidently sticks eyes with toxic glue
She mistook a bottle of nail fixer for eye drops and poured some drops into her eyes
The nail glue didn't hit the center of the eye and it saved her from permanent damage.
Can u imagine if it had hit the center of her eye?
yeah, dear marcia... i can.
Can u imagine if it had hit another place Like maybe another eye downstairs?
But in japan, people don't care about it. Do you know why?
Coz 500 japonese people were gathered for group sex They wanted to break a record.
WHAT?! OMG!
The 250 women and 250 men's *** was recorded for a japanese sex movie.
Producers said it was going to be the biggest group sex of all time.
I am going to buy a DVD What about u, marcia?
I'd never buy it. Japanese people have small ***
Woman called the police after get herself stuck inside her own car
She was desperate and couldn't unlock the doors
The policeman asked her if she could open manually the door pullin the pin that locks the car
Then, the woman tried and finally said: "I'm free! It worked."
That's unbelievable! See? That journal is culture!
I would never imagine that i could unlock the car by pullin the door pin. Incredible!
Let's see the next news omg that one is fantastic!
Professor accidentally puts *** adult content on an USA school
according to the parents, only 10 children really saw the video DVD
The professor said:"omg! Did u see that?!"
and then turned off the DVD player.
He was a substitute teacher and the titular professor was out of town for a conference.
When the substitute professor was lookin for the scheduled movie,
he discovered a DVD without any specification inside the titular professor's notebook
he REALLY thought it was the scheduled movie.
however, when the movie was played kids saw a wild sex.
The DVD player was on just for a few minutes
The Professor ran fast to turn off then said:
oh my god! Did u see that?!
What about u marcia? What did u think about all of it? Impressive huh
did the professor really ask the children if they had seen the dvd?
and did he really think that children would say: "Yes, we saw everything"?
"I am now thinking about show it to my parents to improve their *** life", oh c'mon!
North american coughs up nail stuck in his nose for 30 years
is that really true? 3 decades?!
When he went to lay down on the MRI machine, he had a real pain on his right side under his eye
Doctors say the magnetic force from the MRI probably moved the nail enough where he could
eventually cough it up.
Did I tell you the nail was an inch long?
Wow That's really impressive! 1 inch long?!
Kids see 2 couples having sex on a restaurant toilet
Poor kids. They came in just to pee and came out with million of doubts.
When kids returned from the toilet, they asked their parents about the 2 couples inside the female toilet.
The police say they receive a lot of toilet sex complaint, but the suspects always escape.
that's really impressive.
William, please stop sayin "impressive"!
Imagine: you're going to the toilet just to poo and then see this. What would u do?
What would i do? Well, i would join.
Woman called 911 three times over McDonald's chicken shortage.
Angered that her local McDonald's was out of Chicken McNuggets
a Florida woman called 911 three times just to report the fast food "emergency"
and said she couldn't get a refund.
The cops citted Goodman for misusing the 911 system
The Woman contended: "this is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency."
Last month, a Florida man was arrested after he called 911
to complain about his displeasure with a Burger King combo meal
What's wrong about the first news? The woman wanted Mc Nuggets!!!
This is a real emergency! Other people can wait...
The Mc Donalds gave her a hamburguer but she wanted nuggets or a refund.
And Only 911 could solve this case. So did the florida man about Burguer King.
Yes, dear William. I will call 911 now because your farts smell bad.
Please don't do that. Our jornal is over. Please come back to see us tomorrow.
we have good news like that one: "7 years old kids ran away to marry in africa"
C YA!
Subtitled by Bruno Gabriel
That were true news. 2009. Bruno productions.